Motivation... how you get it?? Lost mine and have 125 lbs to lose...

[rene194215]

Hello- Just a quick warning, this first post is long,,, pouring it all out there.

I do not want to make this seem like a sob story but I want to explain what happened and why I need help.

I have always been overweight and have lost and gained.,... lost and gained etc. In July 2011, it all came together. By the time Jan 2012 came along I lost 80 lbs. Gym 5 times a week and eating right. That was wonderful!!! Only about 34 lbs away from my goal. Then I had my tonsils removed end of Jan. Out of work for 2 weeks (bad case), 5 weeks till I could go to the gym. Ok went back for but not as hard as I was going before. I started to have these bad pains where it does not matter what position I would lay, sit, stand, etc. Hurt so bad. The hospital er came up with nothing. Ultrasounds (by a student... granted they do have to learn but in my case well, you will see below) and cat scans.... nothing. I had another 2 attacks with me out of work for 2 days each time.

My primary dr thought it was my heart (I was 31 at the time and lost 80 lbs! My heart should have been fine but and it was) countless meaningless tests later, I finally got to my GI dr. I had a bad appendix case back in 2005 so I had a dr already. He found nothing but suggested I have another ultrasound. Well that’s when it all came to light. I had gall stones and bad. If the original ultrasound was done correctly at that point, then I would have been spared the attacks I had. Low and behold, another surgery. Out for 3 weeks this time. No gym for 2 months.

Ok so now its July 2012, a year after I started my journey. I was back up maybe 15 lbs. Not so bad. I would go to the gym but not as hard as I was before. With the gallbladder surgery I developed a major sweet tooth. By the end of 2012 I think I was up 30 lbs. I had a very bad turn of events happen in Feb 2013 where on the weekends all I would do is watch TV all day on the couch. No going out and doing anything. I ate and watched TV or slept. I am better now but I am back at my starting weight plus 10 lbs. I am at a point I know I need to do something, not just for me but for my family... my relationship is suffering with my bf...

I am reaching out as I know there are many people out there that offer support and motivation. I found out recently that I had motivated 3 people at work to lose weight. They did not tell me till later maybe hoping that would help me. Where that did make me feel good, I still am not getting it done.

I know that in the end, I have to do it myself. I need to make the choices myself. I need to got to the gym myself. But I need help. I cant seem to get there. I have made so many excuses already I just need someone in my corner. My family is not exactly suportive and I am not getting any support from my bf. The weight issue is at the heart of our problems.

[Anita Latte]

Hi there!

 

First, let me begin by saying that I completely empathize with your situation. I, too, had made great progress in my health and fitness goals. As you say, everything had clicked and like yourself, I'd say I was within 20 pounds give or take of my goal.

 

And then we moved.

 

And everything changed. And I couldn't do what I was doing before. And I was really, really unhappy. And I regained some weight. I have not regained all the weight. But enough for me to be really unhappy with myself. It can be so depressing to think that about...and I try to not beat myself up over what has happened, because, mentally, I know that this doesn't help the situation at all.

 

But I could honestly say that I lost my motivation. And I could say still that gaining that momentum and motivation back is still a work in progress. But here are some things that I have done that have helped.

 

I've read some interesting books. Books that for one reason or another have helped me to develop a more healthy mindset with regards to food. These books are just enjoyable reads...easy reads. They are:

 

1. Paris in Love: A Memoir by Eloisa James. I love her historical romance novels. She and her husband and her children went on sabbatical for one year to live in Paris. This book tells the tale. A part of what I love about this book is the way that the author learned a bit about loving herself and appreciating herself in the way that French women do. One of the biggest lessons that I learned from the book was an attitude toward dressing my body to highlight was is so RIGHT about myself...and to stop dressing to try to disguise what was wrong. This helped me to start to feel good about myself again. Which made me want to take care of myself more. Which lead to me regaining some motivation to do the things that are good for me.

 

2. French Kids Eat Everything by Karen Le Billon. Here is another couple that went on Sabbatical and lived in France for one year. They lived in the small town that was where the husband was born and raised. The wife was originally from England, I believe, and the family lives in Canada. It is all about the different relationship that the French have with food and how that translates into their lifestyle. The book made me appreciate and long for QUALITY food. Not just junk. Not just easy. How really good food is worth waiting for. It's worth working for. Reading this book turned me off to thinking about fast food and similar food. But I really love food...I enjoy cooking (HATE cleaning...) and reading this book inspired me to want to cook more. To make better food choices. To choose GOOD food.

 

3. French Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guillano. So this author is a French woman and when she was 18 years old, she was an exchange student and lived in America for one year. And she gained some serious weight during that one year. Then she left her home and went to live in Paris...and continuing with her new American habits...she gained MORE weight. When she went home for the holidays...her Mom saw the situation...and she invited the family doctor to their house to talk with the author. The timeless advise of the doctor is what helped her to lose all that weight and keep it off ever since. I think this was all in the 1960s? Anyway...the author has work that has her living in both the US (New York?) and in France. And she has helped countless friends and colleagues with this simple advice that she offers to us in the book. Again...a fun and inspiring read.

 

4. The Shift by Tory Johnson. Just another inspiring story of someone who made the little changes that added up to big change over time. I don't know that I would recommend her methodology for everyone...but just the idea that small changes add up. And also, just reading the very real challenges that exist for someone that is trying to be healthier and lose weight...challenges at work, holidays, travel, etc....and how that person coped is helpful. It seems to help in thought that we are not alone...and it takes some will power and strength of conviction to stand firm on the self imposed boundaries that we set to achieve our goals.

 

Motivation is a mind game. It's a very important mind game. The body follows the thoughts of the brain. I teach a couple of fitness classes and I always end up sharing the findings of a university study of hotel housekeepers. Despite the fact that housekeepers have a physically active job, they were found to be overweight. The study split the housekeepers into two groups. One group was educated in a seminar like setting as to HOW their job satisfies their daily requirements for exercise and physical activities. Details were given. The control group received no such knowledge. The interesting thing is that with no other changes in their diet or physical activity...the members of the group that learned how their jobs satisfied their exercise requirement all lost weight. The conclusion to the study was that the expectations of the members of the educated group changed...and their bodies followed and satisfied their expectations.

 

Expectations can be related to motivation. Motivation is what pursues positive expectations. I find motivation to have momentum...if I can figure out a way to get it started...and start to feel more positive about myself and my circumstances...then generally that snowballs into more positives and better circumstances...and so on. Getting motivation generally starts small...and builds from there.

 

Find what can be the spark for yourself. A book. A movie. A documentary. An event. A person. Made even the smallest change and then build on that.

[Anita Latte]

I've been thinking about this thread quite a bit...partly because motivation is a challenging topic for everyone at some point or another. Thinking about threads like this is helpful for me to even boost myself up and help myself as much as I seek to talk with someone to offer help. I think everyone goes through periods when they feel more or less motivated. I think it's a very positive sign to recognize that you aren't feeling very motivated...but care enough to think to yourself...okay, what am I going to do to get motivated?

 

I prefer for my motivation to come from a more positive place. Sometimes, I feel like all the efforts toward eating better and being more active can feel like punishment for having been "bad" when my motivation is coming from a negative mindset. I believe this is why I usually try to seek a more positive mindset before embarking on any new adventure toward a goal. I was trying to think about what helped me long ago to first get started seriously...

 

It was finding out my colors, of all things.

 

I had decided that I needed to find a way to feel good about the way that I looked...even if I was unhappy with my physical fitness...I needed to be able to look in the mirror and find something to appreciate, something positive, something that I could focus on to feel better about my appearance and not just judge myself because I was overweight. For me, I discovered the colors that help me look my absolute best. You'd be surprised how color can make a difference...

 

And the way that I figured it...this was an easy change to make. Wear this color...avoid this color. See yourself immediately look so much healthier...eyes brighter and standing out...if you ever do a study of yourself and see yourself in good colors v. unflattering colors...it's amazing the difference simple colors can make.

 

The other thing...invest in a new bra.

 

It's really amazing the difference a great bra can make. A proper bra is comfortable. And proper foundation garments help clothes look better...flat out...and generally...when the girls are lifted and more perky...you lose visual inches around your rib cage...which is like an instant 5 pound loss.

 

When you wear that bra...put on a shirt in one of your best colors...have a flattering neckline...they YOU look so attractive. And attractive is the right word. There can be a greater confidence in the way you carry yourself when you just own the fact that you may not be in the best shape...but you are working the shape you got...and looking your best. It can be a bit of a boost to your spirit...to feel good about your appearance...

 

And like I said...I find that when you start to feel good...you get motivated to do things that help you feel even better...and when you do these things...it's not coming from a place of punishment...it's coming from a place the is endeavoring to be the best person you can be...to become the best version of yourself...it's a positive directional thing...moving toward a goal rather than trying to get away from something.

[cruisemama5]

rene194215 - I am so sorry you are having trouble with your weightloss. You have been through a lot and it is hard to get back into working out and eating right. I also lost a lot of weight, 70 pounds and I was where I wanted to be. I was so excited. I bought all new clothes. I kept it off for quite a while. But then I went on a trip and gained a little and instead of getting right at taking it off, I procrastinated and thought it would be okay, it wasn't that much. Little by little the pounds started coming back on. I started loving sugar and breads again. Not a good thing for me. So now, over the last 18 months, I put about 40 pounds back on. I look in the mirror and am disgusted with myself, and I have been for a while now. I think I put the majority on this last holiday time because I figured I was already gaining, so why watch what I was doing.

 

Now, I am trying very hard to loose again. We are going on a cruise soon, and I know I can't loose the weight by then, I am hoping to loose what ever I can. I started 2 weeks ago and I am down 7 lbs. Every little bit helps.

 

I can say that I have thought constantly about getting back on the diet wagon since I started gaining. I just wasn't in the mindset to want to do it. Even having trips that I wanted to look good on, didn't give me the motivation. I think it has to come from somewhere deep inside of you. I think I have it back now. I have totally given up sweets and breads and am really watching what I am eating. I need to get into some form of exercise to help me also. I can't do the program I did last time to loose weight, as it was making me sick this time when I tried to start it. So I am just going to try eating healthy and no sweets and really counting calories and being very conscience of what I am putting into my body.

 

I hope you can find your motivation again. You will feel better when you do. The things Anita Latte said in the previous posts are very good. I think I will look at some of those books she mentioned to see what they have to say. Good luck to you in your journey!!

 

Can I ask a question of you? I noticed in another thread that you asked for a copy of a diet from auskercam (I think) and they said they would send it to you. If you got that from them, could you send it to me? I asked a few days ago also, but haven't gotten it yet. If you do send it, please put something in the subject so I will know what it is when I watch for it. Thanks. my email is shellyjdavis at yahoo dot com.

[BeagleOne]

Well, first, congratulations on the weight loss from a couple of years ago, and I'm very sorry for your health problems, and the lack of support from your family and friends.

 

If you lost the weight once, you know you can do it! Have you talked to a doctor about different options? Maybe recording everything you eat and every exercise you do would help keep you motivated because you could track how you're doing? If you developed a major sweet tooth after your gall bladder surgery you should try to find out what connection there may be, and what you can do about it.

 

I see you're in Connecticut; you've had a horrible winter, just like a lot of the rest of us. It's finally gotten warm enough where I am to be outside more, and I'm finally getting out of the house more. It's so easy to become a couch potato when the weather is lousy for months. But great time for a fresh start now that spring is finally getting here.

 

I'm not a gym person but I found that walking and bicycling really help me. Would those be an option for you if the gym no longer appeals? What about going to the gym just a couple of days a week, and walking the other days? If there's a type of music you really like, maybe putting that on an iPod and listening while you walk (assuming you're walking during the day in a safe area) would help motivate you. Or get a treadmill and walk while watching your favorite shows. I've started drinking more water, too, I think a lot of people are chronically mildly dehydrated, plus water helps fill you up.

 

What about the people at work who were inspired by you? Could you join an exercise group with any of them, or walk over the lunch hour, or simply chat with them for mutual support?

 

Have you talked to your doctor about a healthy diet you can stick to? Especially with your gall bladder surgery, there might be some foods that you should avoid that you didn't have to before.

 

Also keep in mind that you have to do what works for you. That's about all most of us on this board can tell you, too, about diet...what works for us...I don't think anyone here is a dietician, nutritionist, or doctor specializing in weight loss, so what works for people here might not work for you.

 

Good luck! Weight loss is tough and it's tougher if you feel you are doing it alone. But there are a lot of us out here who are working to get or stay in shape, and even though we're just strangers on the internet, that doesn't mean we can't support each other!:)

[rene194215]

Hi Everyone!!!!

 

I want to thank everyone for taking the time to post on this! I am sorry I have not reponded, I have been so busy. But I promise to respond in the next day or so.

 

Thank you thank you thank you!!!

 

Renee

[Seago2]

I hear you. Up, down, up, down. I joke that it will say on my tombstone "Her Weight Fluctuated". Up hugely, down a little. Up more. Down a little. Last fall I went on Optifast and lost 50. Then I gained 20. Now I had the bright idea on the spur of the moment to go vegan for Lent. It's been a very nice and easy 4 weeks so far. I refuse to step on a scale but suits are fitting that didn't before. Nothing budged until I cut out oil as well. That goes against everything I thought I believed in back when I was paleo, back before my 50th WW start, back before Medifast the third time, back before Optifast, back before I was just going to eat three meals a day. I get it. Boy do I get it.

 

I'm just going to stay vegan and lay off the processed foods and continue to avoid oils. You'd be surprised how much you can eat and how good it tastes. And I have a lot more energy and my skin definitely looks brighter and more healthy. So much for olive oil being the second coming of Christ and so much for adding coconut oil to my coffee.

 

It's really hard to believe in yourself when you've failed so many times. It's hard to even form the words or the plan when it's not even worth the paper it's written on. Or the iPhone. But you know that one "plan" will stick, it really will. If counting calories or using a Fitbit or My Fitness Pal or going paleo or whaaaaatever doesn't work, keep surfing around until you find what works for you. And when you get off track get ready with Plan B and pick it right up. And get Plan C formulated and ready to go. You will make it to your goal, even if you have to change the goal a bit.

 

Acceptance is a great thing but not if you consider yourself to be at an unacceptable weight. I have sat here pumping myself up, telling myself that at my age I should stop caring about this, that I'm more than my weight, that there are others far heavier than me, that I'm just going to buy a whole new wardrobe and embrace it. And then I get a look at myself in a passing window and it all comes crashing down.

 

There is no option but forward. Pick yourself back up and take it one day at a time. In the middle of this nice, steady shrinking, nothing to write home about but things are fitting better, I ate a pack of Pop Tarts last night. Not exactly vegan and totally processed. It's been with me all day. Not. Worth. It. Live and learn.

 

xxoo

[tlatrice]

Rene,

 

I could have written your post. It is SO spot on for me: how to find the motivation. I've made the plans. I just don't seem to have the 'umph' to get going.

 

Knowing I'm not alone really does help. Maybe we can help motivate each other!

 

I didn't even realize there was a fitness board on CC! Glad I found you guys!

[Jackie722]

I agree. I just stubbled on this board myself. I have done every fad diet, done Ww(doeswork) atkins etc. Now in 6 wks I lost 9 pds. I solly go to gym and do at least 30 minutes on treadmill.i try and make better choices. But if I need that handful of chips, I take it. So far I feel good, lost weight and plan on doing it. I cruise August 16. I want to look better in my pics. Hopefully we all can help each other thru

 

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Forums mobile app

[marthkat75]

Rene- starting today you and I are going to do 1 thing. Drink water- I am going to drink 1/2 my body weight in ounces, or a minimum of 64 ounces. Next week, Let's check in and start on a 2nd change for a healthy habit. Go chug. Feel free to email me marthkat75@Yahoo.com

I'm in Maine, obese, and a super procrastinator. I need you.

 

Marthkat75

[Jackie722]

Can I join in on that. I have about 65 pds to loose. I will check in with u too.

 

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Forums mobile app

[marthkat75]

I got my 64 in.... I need to drink at least 1 bottle before bed... 2am potty wake up call no doubt!

 

Marthkat75

[rene194215]

Rene- starting today you and I are going to do 1 thing. Drink water- I am going to drink 1/2 my body weight in ounces, or a minimum of 64 ounces. Next week, Let's check in and start on a 2nd change for a healthy habit. Go chug. Feel free to email me marthkat75@Yahoo.com

I'm in Maine, obese, and a super procrastinator. I need you.

 

Marthkat75

 

 

Somehow I actually drank lots of water yesterday and am on track today as well. :)

[marthkat75]

I have had 32 ounces this morning. I hate water.

I need to lose 50 pounds to feel comfortable. My Dr thinks about 75. But I feel great 50 lighter. My daughters are very overweight also and it breaks my heart.

 

Marthkat75

[rene194215]

I would like to apologize to all who have posted on this thread. I know I started it looking for motivation and I have honestly been a ghost in the wind.

The following may be to personal for some to read but it’s what I have been going though.

I have been going through a bit lately with my boyfriend. We have been together almost 2.5 years. Because I started gaining weight things seemed to change between us as in being intimate (sorry if this is TMI) But I thought it was getting settled in our relationship. One day he threw a bomb on me saying he was no longer attractive to me due to my weight. I always said I would not change for anyone, only myself. We talked about things at the beginning of my relationship with regard to guys accepting me or lack there of. But he seems to have turned into one of those guys. I have been trying to deal with things and kept thinking ok I am going to lose the weight to save my relationship. But as each day went by I just got more and more down on myself. The real turning point was this past Sat when he came over. He plopped down on the couch not saying a word as I am cooking dinner. During dinner not much. Then I had to finish baking for Easter and I was in the kitchen again, nothing. Just laid there. I was feeling so done at this point. Went to bed and could not sleep and went to sleep on the couch. He got sick, stomach thing. When I left for sunrise service Easter morning I just said bye. When I got back to grab all the stuff for my brothers, I said have a good day and text me later. I am not kissing you cause I don’t want to get sick. (I did wind up getting sick) So we talked a few on Sunday night. Did not ask how all was on my end for the day. Just talked about him. Monday we talked and he was saying something I honestly cannot remember what it was now. I was silent because I was going to say I think we need to take a break. He said he was bringing me down and I said yes you are. I think we may need some time apart. He got off the phone pretty quick. Then we texted yesterday and at one point I asked if he was coming over as Tuesday is our night. He said he was still not feeling good and was going to go home. Low and behold yesterday was 2 years that we said I Love you to each other. When I texted him that it makes me sad this is happening today. He comes back with thanks for reminding me of that and also that today is my parents anniversary. (his dad passed in 2009) Then says he please leave him alone, he does not want to hear from me. So right now I have not heard from him what so ever. I understand what a break is, it’s just so hard when you have talked to this person every day for the past 2.5 years and talked right before bed. I am just a mess and I am going to start the process to fix that.

This is a lot and I am sorry about all this. Now is the time. I will get back on track. And not for anyone else but me.

[BeagleOne]

I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe things have run their course, maybe you two were both having a series of bad days, maybe you can work things out. Hang in there, and YES!!!!! -- lose weight for yourself! You're totally worth it.

[Moto Guzzi]

I'm sorry for what's happened between you and your boyfriend. Perhaps it will work out but perhaps not. If your weight has caused him no longer to feel attracted to you, perhaps he is not the best choice for you. There is so much more to you than your weight and you deserve somebody who will love you no matter what weight you are.

 

As to motivation, I have lost 84 lbs in the last two years. It wasn't easy and at times I thought I'd never lose enough to make a difference, but I did it. I still want to lose more, but I think I look pretty good now.

 

What helped me the most was getting a Nutri-Bullet and drinking smoothies twice a day. I had lost weight by dieting but was at a plateau. I thought about doing juicing but was worried about losing the fiber in the fruits and vegetables. A friend recommended the Nutri-Bullet but any high-powered blender will work.

 

I got mine in January 2013. My typical smoothie includes baby spinach and carrots. Sometimes I add celery and cucumbers, but I like baby spinach the best. I buy fruit that's on sale and freeze anything I won't use within a few days. Any kind of fruit is good and sometimes I add a bit of yogurt. I add a liquid that could be water, milk, or juice and blend it up. I like them best cold.

 

I started losing weight immediately but it took a while for anybody else to notice. I think it was August before people started commenting on my weight loss because by then it was obvious I had lost a lot of weight.

 

The smoothies seemed to help me bring my carb addiction under control. I no longer do two smoothies a day. I usually have one for breakfast or eat steel-cut oatmeal and have the smoothie at night. I make lunch my main meal of the day and tend to eat out a lot at whatever neighborhood restaurant has a lunch special. That keeps me from having leftovers in my fridge. Dinner is either a smoothie or soup.

 

I try to limit the number of carbs and processed foods I eat. I don't know whether it's because of the smoothies, but I've lost a lot of the sugar and carb cravings I used to have. Before I would have pasta several times a week, but now I have it several times a month. I have a chocolate Easter bunny that hasn't been opened. If I want chocolate, I pour a glass of low-fat milk and put a tiny bit of chocolate flavoring in it--just enough for a taste--and that satisfies me. I try to drink a gallon of water every day and keep a large container of it in my refrigerator so it's nice and cold.

 

My weight-loss has been gradual and that's good; I don't have loose skin as can sometimes happen with a faster weight loss. I have much more energy and no longer huff and puff while going upstairs. I recently went back to ice skating, something I used to do several times a week until I got too heavy and was carrying too much weight for my knees and hips.

 

I look a lot better and now get compliments and more attention than I did when I was heavy. It sounds harsh but we all know people do judge overweight people as being lazy and overeating when weight gain can be caused by a number of factors.

 

Please know that, even though it's difficult to lose weight, it's not impossible and you will love the way you look and feel once you have taken off some of your weight. Don't think to yourself that you have 125 lbs to lose because that can be overwhelming and discouraging. Give yourself smaller goals like 25 lbs and reward yourself when you reach that goal. My rewards tend to be new clothes; I've gone through several sizes now and have donated bags of clothes that are now too big.

 

Best wishes to you for success in losing weight. Do it for you and not because somebody else thinks you should.