Let FREEDOM ring! A picture review of our 2/25/17 cruise!

[bobandalice]

Our family is taking a sibling cruise on the Freedom in June and have been reading your review with great interest and chuckling where appropriate. Nothing worse than an inappropriate chuckle. Unless it's an unplanned lap dance to unexpecting, unappreciative oafs.

 

Waiting for the next installment. Get with it, sister!

[watermelonqueen99]

Still here and eagerly waiting for more :)

 

 

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Thanks for reading!

[watermelonqueen99]

And then??? What happened next? More please!

 

 

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Working on it! Thanks for reading! :D

[watermelonqueen99]

Have you reached your goal of 15 again??

 

 

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Stay tuned to find out! :D

[watermelonqueen99]

Our family is taking a sibling cruise on the Freedom in June and have been reading your review with great interest and chuckling where appropriate. Nothing worse than an inappropriate chuckle. Unless it's an unplanned lap dance to unexpecting, unappreciative oafs.

 

Waiting for the next installment. Get with it, sister!

 

Ha! Inappropriate chuckling is a hobby of mine! :'):'):') Been super busy, working on my next installment now! Glad you're enjoying my review, and I hope you have a great cruise!

[watermelonqueen99]

Photobucket is basically the equivalent to ISIS for me right now, so please be patient with me. Had a whole response typed up, but PB isn't here for that....😠😠😠

 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Forums mobile app

[MomofTheBoy]

I'm still here! I just figured that request for short term disability to finish your review was denied.

 

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[watermelonqueen99]

i'm still here! I just figured that request for short term disability to finish your review was denied.

 

Sent from my sm-t377p using tapatalk

 

Lol! Working on getting a lawyer to fight it!

[watermelonqueen99]

You guys. Photobucket is going to be the cause of my death. I'm not exactly sure how that b*tch is planning to take me out yet, but I know it's coming.. Let me try this AGAIN:

 

When I left off, we had arrived at Royal Palms, and had looked around a bit. I was super excited to see Seven Mile Beach. I had heard that it was one of the most beautiful beaches in the world. I was slightly skeptical of this opinion though, because I had heard the same thing about Magen's Bay in St. Thomas when we cruised on the Splendor in April 2016, and while it was pretty, it certainly wasn't the most beautiful beach we'd ever seen. Not only that, but on the way there, going up the mountain, amid all the honking and swerving our driver and all of the other local drivers were doing, C and I made the decision to scribble out our will on a Carnival napkin I found in my beach bag. We wanted to make sure our family knew who we wanted our p*rn collection and our best b*ng to go to, (My cousin who lives in Lot 5 at the Shady Acres mobile home park in Podunk Hills, Oklahoma, DUH! Who else could appreciate such high art?!) because we were sure we weren't gonna make it to our destination. When we did somehow get there without being ejected from the somewhat open-air vehicle, this is what we found: 4,789,568,990,843 tourists, no chairs, and just an okay beach. On the upside, we did run into the couple that we had been drinking to oblivion with for the past several nights in the piano bar, so it was nice to re-introduce ourselves to them again. But, I digress. Seven Mile Beach was everything I had hoped for. The water was absolutely gorgeous:

 

 

We decided we didn't want to spend money on renting chairs, because that money could go to tipping our bartender, resulting in stronger drinks, so we laid our towels down on the sand, then got in the water. It was colder than the looks I had gotten from the wife of the man I had given the free lapdances to on the way over, but once we recovered from moderate hypothermia and our lips were no longer blue, we splashed around and had a great time. The water was crystal clear, and there were schools of small fish swimming around our feet. Eventually, we were ready to go dry off, and made our way to shore, looking like newborn baby giraffes as we tried to adjust to no longer feeling weightless as we exited the water. We plopped down on our towels for a little while, then I got up to take a pic or two.

 

I love the ships in the background of this next pic. But let's all take a moment and acknowledge something else about this photo. There are some things in life that just scream "I made it, this is the life." Maybe for you it's a big, fancy house. A sports car. Diamonds and gold. Being on the Maury show, trying to find out who your baby daddy is. (Maybe that one is just me.) But none of that compares to floating in the stunning turquoise water of the Caribbean Sea on a giant piece of pizza. Nothing. Obama, your Nobel Peace Prize ain't s*it. This man and his girl were showing the world what true success looks like by floating on matching pizza floaties in freakin' Paradise. I told C that as soon as we got home, I was going to have us matching vodka bottle floaties made, because that right there screams not only discerning taste, but true, everlasting love. It was such a tender moment, we teared up about it and ordered a drink so we could have a toast. And floating pizza man, if you see this, you're the real MVP. (My fellow Okies, you should know who I just quoted. If not, go back to that rock you live under, but watch out for fiddlebacks, because them sonsa*itches are dangerous):

 

Here's another pic of SMB:

 

 

After I had snapped some pics, we decided to head back to the port. The cab ride back was equally as hot, awkward, and uncomfortable as the ride over, but we made it. I wanted to do some shopping, and I had one thing on my mind: some Big Black D*ck. I had heard that it was the greatest thing ever, and that once you tried it, you would never go back to anything else. I was ecstatic to find some, right there at the port shopping area:

 

 

I didn't get to try it until we got back home, but wow. This stuff was amazing. The best I've ever had. I still fantasize about it. If you're ever in GC, seek this out. It absolutely lives up to the hype. (By the way, that's C's arm, not mine. I make sure to get my arm bush waxed at least once a month.) We also snatched up our customary magnet and shot glass, then headed for the tender. Here's some pics of our ride back to the Freedom:

 

 

I decided to be nice and leave my yacht here so that the less fortunate could enjoy it while I'm back home:

 

 

To be continued...

[mccurdy2000]

Fabulous[emoji41] And then????

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[Medinkr]

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

[watermelonqueen99]

Fabulous[emoji41] And then????

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

Stay tuned to find out! 😁

 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Forums mobile app

[watermelonqueen99]

[emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23]

Thanks for reading! 😁

 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Forums mobile app

[bobandalice]

We are both quite enamored with Big Black Dick.

 

Which came as a surprise.

 

Not that there is anything wrong with that. :rolleyes:

 

Glad you're back! Look forward to reading the next exciting chapter!!!

[backnine05]

You guys. Photobucket is going to be the cause of my death. I'm not exactly sure how that b*tch is planning to take me out yet, but I know it's coming.. Let me try this AGAIN:

 

When I left off, we had arrived at Royal Palms, and had looked around a bit. I was super excited to see Seven Mile Beach. I had heard that it was one of the most beautiful beaches in the world. I was slightly skeptical of this opinion though, because I had heard the same thing about Magen's Bay in St. Thomas when we cruised on the Splendor in April 2016, and while it was pretty, it certainly wasn't the most beautiful beach we'd ever seen. Not only that, but on the way there, going up the mountain, amid all the honking and swerving our driver and all of the other local drivers were doing, C and I made the decision to scribble out our will on a Carnival napkin I found in my beach bag. We wanted to make sure our family knew who we wanted our p*rn collection and our best b*ng to go to, (My cousin who lives in Lot 5 at the Shady Acres mobile home park in Podunk Hills, Oklahoma, DUH! Who else could appreciate such high art?!) because we were sure we weren't gonna make it to our destination. When we did somehow get there without being ejected from the somewhat open-air vehicle, this is what we found: 4,789,568,990,843 tourists, no chairs, and just an okay beach. On the upside, we did run into the couple that we had been drinking to oblivion with for the past several nights in the piano bar, so it was nice to re-introduce ourselves to them again. But, I digress. Seven Mile Beach was everything I had hoped for. The water was absolutely gorgeous:

 

 

We decided we didn't want to spend money on renting chairs, because that money could go to tipping our bartender, resulting in stronger drinks, so we laid our towels down on the sand, then got in the water. It was colder than the looks I had gotten from the wife of the man I had given the free lapdances to on the way over, but once we recovered from moderate hypothermia and our lips were no longer blue, we splashed around and had a great time. The water was crystal clear, and there were schools of small fish swimming around our feet. Eventually, we were ready to go dry off, and made our way to shore, looking like newborn baby giraffes as we tried to adjust to no longer feeling weightless as we exited the water. We plopped down on our towels for a little while, then I got up to take a pic or two.

 

I love the ships in the background of this next pic. But let's all take a moment and acknowledge something else about this photo. There are some things in life that just scream "I made it, this is the life." Maybe for you it's a big, fancy house. A sports car. Diamonds and gold. Being on the Maury show, trying to find out who your baby daddy is. (Maybe that one is just me.) But none of that compares to floating in the stunning turquoise water of the Caribbean Sea on a giant piece of pizza. Nothing. Obama, your Nobel Peace Prize ain't s*it. This man and his girl were showing the world what true success looks like by floating on matching pizza floaties in freakin' Paradise. I told C that as soon as we got home, I was going to have us matching vodka bottle floaties made, because that right there screams not only discerning taste, but true, everlasting love. It was such a tender moment, we teared up about it and ordered a drink so we could have a toast. And floating pizza man, if you see this, you're the real MVP. (My fellow Okies, you should know who I just quoted. If not, go back to that rock you live under, but watch out for fiddlebacks, because them sonsa*itches are dangerous):

 

Here's another pic of SMB:

 

 

After I had snapped some pics, we decided to head back to the port. The cab ride back was equally as hot, awkward, and uncomfortable as the ride over, but we made it. I wanted to do some shopping, and I had one thing on my mind: some Big Black D*ck. I had heard that it was the greatest thing ever, and that once you tried it, you would never go back to anything else. I was ecstatic to find some, right there at the port shopping area:

 

 

I didn't get to try it until we got back home, but wow. This stuff was amazing. The best I've ever had. I still fantasize about it. If you're ever in GC, seek this out. It absolutely lives up to the hype. (By the way, that's C's arm, not mine. I make sure to get my arm bush waxed at least once a month.) We also snatched up our customary magnet and shot glass, then headed for the tender. Here's some pics of our ride back to the Freedom:

 

 

I decided to be nice and leave my yacht here so that the less fortunate could enjoy it while I'm back home:

 

 

To be continued...

 

Did it cost anything to use Royal Palms facilities? Or do they just ask you to support them by buying food?

 

P.S. Did you attempt to take beers off the ship to enjoy on the beach at any of your stays? If so, did it work?

[watermelonqueen99]

I have some free time today, so let's continue on with our day in Grand Cayman. When I left off, we were on the tender going back to the ship. When we got there, we headed to the room to clean up and drop off our stuff. Then we decided to go up and take some ship p*rn pics. (I'm embarrassed [not in the least] by how many times I've used the word p*rn in this review. It has to be a record. I'm gonna contact Guinness and see about getting recognized. I can just see the look on my mom's face when I tell her I won the "Most Uses of the Word P*rn" record. She's gonna be so proud.) Here are a couple of those pics:

 

 

This is the Thomson Dream. It sails from the UK:

 

 

I just like this pic:

 

 

We went down to the lobby and people watched a little bit, but unfortunately, I started feeling really bad. I tried to ignore it. I hooked up with Captain Morgan a couple times, thinking that might help, but no such luck. (By the way, I don't recommend that. He smells like rotten seaweed, fish, and something I can't put my finger on. Literally.) I was feeling so bad that I knew I had to do something or I would probably be down for the rest of the cruise. You guys. I've had to be involved in making some pretty painful decisions in my life. Like whether or not we should put Grandma in a nursing home, should we euthanize the cat, things like that. But none of those decisions were as devastating as this one: I was going to rest on this night instead of going to Alchemy. I'll give you a moment to gather yourselves, as I do the same.

 

Ok, now that we've had time to grieve a little, let's move on. We went back to the cabin, I put on my proper mourning attire (the same thing I would wear to the funeral of any relative or close friend: stained sweatpants and a holey t-shirt), and crawled into bed. C and I don't "go out" separately when we cruise or when we're at home. He doesn't even like leaving me at the bar alone to go to the bathroom, because inevitably, some drunk pervs (AKA my peers) will hit on me, thinking I'm alone. I have stories. It's amazing what some people will do when they're drunk and on a ship. And yes, I'm talking about me. But anyway, since we always stick together, C also put on his good funeral suit (gym shorts and a Bass Pro t-shirt), and crawled into bed with me. This next part plays out much like a fairy-tale. Cinderella? Sleeping Beauty? Beauty and the Beast? Please. THIS is the tale as old as time: C went back and forth from our room on deck 9, all the way forward, down to Alchemy all night to get me drinks, just so I would still be able to reach my goal of 15 and not feel like a failure in life. That's the definition of true love right there. That's being someone's ride or die. That's when you know you are with your soulmate. Someone needs to contact Lifetime stat, because this night needs to be made into a movie. "I Would Carry a Drink in Each Hand Up 4 Flights of Stairs or Wait in Line at the Elevator for 45 Minutes Even Though I've Been Drinking Myself For You: A Love Story." That's a beautiful title.

 

But anyway, we spent the evening in bed, me reading and C working on his writing. (I won't tell you what he writes. I don't want to tarnish the pure, pristine, and innocent image you have of us.) Eventually we got hungry (the drunchies kicked in) and C went and got us some pizza and we ordered some room service chocolate cake. And why in the eff is there something green on my plate of cake? If I wanted a salad, I would have ordered one:

 

 

 

Eventually, I reached my goal and drifted off into a peaceful sleep (I passed out), where I dreamt of puppies, kittens and rainbows.*

 

(*Translation: I dreamt that I was floating in the pool on Lido on a giant inflatable Guy's Burger while drinking straight from the bottle of Big Black D*ck rum while wearing nothing but a captain's hat and singing "Margaritaville".)

 

Stay tuned for our day in Cozumel!

[watermelonqueen99]

Did it cost anything to use Royal Palms facilities? Or do they just ask you to support them by buying food?

 

P.S. Did you attempt to take beers off the ship to enjoy on the beach at any of your stays? If so, did it work?

 

It's a $2 entry fee. It's extra to rent chairs. And we don't drink beer, so I'm no help there, sorry. :)

[watermelonqueen99]

We are both quite enamored with Big Black Dick.

 

Which came as a surprise.

 

Not that there is anything wrong with that. :rolleyes:

 

Glad you're back! Look forward to reading the next exciting chapter!!!

 

Same with us, we were fighting over it. ;p And I didn't know you could type Dick without CC editing it. That's good to know! :'):'):')

 

And thanks for reading!

[dmet0225]

How in the he** does someone even FIND a pizza raft???? Better yet, I can see me telling my wife, "I'm going shopping to see if I can find a pizza raft."

 

I would be even more drunk if I were to go back and forth from the room to the bar to get my wife a drink, because I'd finish my drink before I even made it back from the bar!

 

Great stuff.

[watermelonqueen99]

How in the he** does someone even FIND a pizza raft???? Better yet, I can see me telling my wife, "I'm going shopping to see if I can find a pizza raft."

 

I would be even more drunk if I were to go back and forth from the room to the bar to get my wife a drink, because I'd finish my drink before I even made it back from the bar!

 

Great stuff.

 

Ha! Just buy them first, then come home and say "honey, I bought us matching pizza rafts!" I'm sure she'll be over the moon. :')

 

And yeah, I can't guarantee that if the tables were turned and I had to do the drink fetching, that either drink would be left by the time I got back to the room! :')

 

Thanks for reading!

[spleenstomper]

I think I finally figured it out!! Thank you all for bearing with me! Photobucket is like the public bathroom of the photo hosting world. You don’t wanna use it, but you have to, so you just hold your nose and flush with your foot. I have no idea what that analogy even means, so let’s just move on and get this party started. I do want to preface this review by saying that my humor may not be for everybody. If you are prude, easily offended, or the kind of person who writes to John Heald complaining that your napkins weren't properly folded in the MDR, this review probably isn't for you. With that being said, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my review of the Carnival Freedom:

 

Friday, February 24th, 2017

Finally, the day had arrived that we were heading to Houston! It had been 6 LONG months since we’d cruised (insert dramatic fainting here), and we were more than ready! We woke up, got our kids off to school (but not before gloating a little bit about how we'd be lying on a beach while they were sitting in class, and yes, we have an account set up for their future therapy sessions) and did some last minute packing. Luckily, I’m a light packer*, as evidenced by this pic of the shoes I brought along:

 

 

*Disclaimer: That's a complete and total lie.

 

We had some lunch, did a quick Walmart run, and then, since my eyebrows were starting to give Bert from Sesame Street a run for his money, I popped into my salon for a quick wax. I knew I made the right decision when the sweet girl working looked at them and said, and I quote, “oh, honey, they so long!” I mumbled something along the lines of "that's what's she said" and made a mental note to never go 3 weeks (inner self: b***h, it's been more like 3 months) between waxes again. We met up with my mom to go over some last minute stuff, and then finally, around 12:30, we were headed to the airport.

 

Let me sidetrack here for a moment if I may. We live in a Tulsa suburb. When we cruise out of Galveston, and it comes up that we're from Oklahoma, staff and other passengers on the ship almost always automatically assume that we drove to the port. Inevitably, someone will ask how our drive was. I then proceed to give them the same face that Steve Harvey gives contestants on Family Feud when they give him a dumb answer.*

 

 

 

 

To be continued.....

 

 

I had to delete one of my reviews because of a stalker too!!!

 

I am working on my dream review and also feel the same about photobucket.

 

My hair looks like that too. :)

[watermelonqueen99]

Let me preface this next installment by saying that we have been to Cozumel many times, and these days, my only real mission there is to pick up my Retin-A, because I have been obsessed with anti-aging and preventing wrinkles since I was basically a fetus. Seriously, I would tug on my umbilical cord, and my mom would send down some Oil of Olay. So that's literally all we did this time. We got off the ship, got some Retin-A, and got back on. Not even one picture was taken. So, just to be able to have something to post for this day, I'm going to share some pics from some of our previous visits. So, please join me for an "alternative day" in Cozumel. (I knew Kellyanne would make another appearance in this review, that sneaky trick.):

 

Thursday, March 3rd, 2017

Thankfully, I woke up feeling better than I had the night before, so I decided to have a healthy breakfast. (Only 2 FunShips instead of 3.) We headed off the ship, and made the 7.5 mile trek down the pier into the port area. The water in Cozumel is just beautiful:

 

 

On this alternative day, we had lots of things planned. First, we were going to Nachi Cocom, so we made our way to the taxi area. Here's a pic of the shopping area we passed through on the way:

 

 

I think you've learned by now that the only time C and I are religious is when we are in a taxi in a foreign country. We will pray to anything. Zeus. Buddha. The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Fabio. Anybody, just let us get to our destination in one piece. When we arrived at Nachi on this alternative day, we kissed the ground, thankful that we didn't end up actually inside of the ambulance that we had tail-gated the entire way. (Yes, that really did happen on a previous trip.) We paid our balance, and were led to our palapa:

 

 

We decided to look around a little bit. This is looking down the beach toward Mr. Sancho's:

 

 

Here's the hammock area, where you can lose all of your dignity as you try to get in or out of one of these things after you've taken advantage of the open bar:

 

 

Here's the pool, which although you can't see in this pic, also has a swim-up bar. So basically, this is where you have a chance to earn a prestigious Darwin Award after you drown by trying to drunkenly swim up to get your 13th Miami Vice:

 

 

To be continued.......

[watermelonqueen99]

I had to delete one of my reviews because of a stalker too!!!

 

I am working on my dream review and also feel the same about photobucket.

 

My hair looks like that too. :)

 

There are some crazy people out there! :rolleyes: I'll keep my eye out for your review, we were on the Dream last August and and had a great time. We should start a club just for us crazy haired girls! Lol

 

Thanks for reading!

[bobandalice]

How in the he** does someone even FIND a pizza raft???? Better yet, I can see me telling my wife, "I'm going shopping to see if I can find a pizza raft."

 

I would be even more drunk if I were to go back and forth from the room to the bar to get my wife a drink, because I'd finish my drink before I even made it back from the bar!

 

Great stuff.

 

How? Amazon. Can't help ya with the explaining.

 

 

https://www.amazon.com/Greenco-Giant-Inflatable-Lounger-Connectors/dp/B01DAHAIUQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1493235625&sr=8-1&keywords=pizza+floatie

[Jenny in TX]

I just found your review today, and I wasn't even finished reading page 1 and I was cracking up!

 

Loved the picture of all the shoes you packed.....makes me not feel so bad about the suitcase I bring on every cruise that only has my shoes in it!

 

We live about 30 minutes from Galveston, so we cruise out of there often but have yet to cruise on the Freedom.

 

You sound like you would be a blast to cruise with.....looking forward to the rest of the review!!