Will there be things for my mom to do?

[newcruiser48]

Most people ask about kids, but I haven't found this topic on the boards. My widowed, 69 yr young mother is sharing a D1 on the Grandeur with myself & DH. She is so worried that she'll a.) be in the way, b.) have to follow us around, my brother & family are also going, but they have young kids. c.) get lost if she does do anything alone, d.) want to do something & nobody else will want to go. Can anyone please ease her mind? She's been on a few cruises while my stepdad was alive. We want her to come with us and relax and enjoy her trip, not spend it worrying. Thank you, Debbie (sorry it's long)

[RobNC2001]

Absolutely! The most wonderful thing about going on a cruise is that there is something for everyone! It makes for a great family vacation. I have cruised several times with my mom, who is 78 years young, and we've had an absolute blast together. Plenty of activities for her to do on ship as well as social opportunities. Most of the time, I have a hard time keeping up with her! The only rule that we have is that we will all be together for dinner. Other than that, everyone does what they want. Sometimes that means we do it together, and sometimes apart. We love her company, as do our friends. But we also understand that there may be times when she wants to be off on her own or with friends her own age. We always have a wonderful time together. Cruising is the best family vacation! Tell your mom to relax and stop worrying.

[sas80]

OMG there's TONS to do!

there are movies, bingo, the shopping talk for the port the next day, the art auction, ice carving exhibits, cooking deomonstrations, etc., etc., etc.

 

Just tell her to grab the cruise compass and circle what she wants to do the next day!

[dawcruiser]

My wife is only 53 but during the day her and I often do different things. She does the following.

 

Goes to craft classes

gets involved in triva games

reads

plays bingo

sunbaths

shops

get a massage

just relaxes.

 

I just relax!!

 

We do the evening shows together.

 

I have seen many young 69's on ships. There is often dance host who teach new dance steps or help you remember the old ones. Also there could possibly be a young 69 year old gentleman.

 

Tell her to enjoy.

 

Don

[new cruise r]

brihg mu mom with us too, she's 62 and widowed. sounds like there will be quite a few singles. should be fun for all.

[negc]

You say your mother has been on other cruises when her husband was alive, so she should already know that there are plenty of activities she can get involved in if she wishes. Sounds more like she is afraid to go off on her own or worried she might actually enjoy herself. I think that having you and other family members, especially grandchildren, onboard should give her plenty of opportunities for company without feeling like she is joined at the hip to you and your husband. You can also encourage her to join others her own age in some of the ship's activities, so you won't feel it necessary to be with her all the time. She might also like some time by herself.

Good luck and enjoy the cruise.

[suezyq50]

It might be an adjustment going on a vacation as a single. We took our 70 year old mother was us. Being single was a concern for her. She saw everyone as a pair I am sure she will have a good time once she gets on the ship.

[Weez]

We brought my 75 yo father-in-law (recently widowed) on a cruise with us last year. He was very reluctant to go and I don't think he would have come if we didn't already pay for it. Well he had so much fun, he not only asked us to go again this year, he paid for his son and their family to come on this one. All totaled there will be 10 of us on this one. Tell your mom she will have the time of her life and she will get to spend quality time with the whole family.

[caazcruzin]

Myself, DH and 2 kids are going with my sister, BIL and 2 kids and my 83 yo mom who is widowed. We really tried hard to figure out a vacation we could all do with something for all and not having to be thinking about where to go for dinner, etc. We think the cruise will be just the ticket...7/9/06 on Mariner...can't wait! I'm sure you'll mom will love it with all of you aboard with her.

[w&k]

Mom might be able to find a buddy or two to hang out with at the singles meet and greet. If she feels intimidated, go with her.

 

I would go to them with my Mom when we cruised together, and it was usually almost all ladies of a "certain age" and most of them were fun.

 

Even better, set up one or more special times for just the two of you - go for a morning stroll, have lunch, watch the sunset, do happy hour, afternoon tea, or just a cozy chat on a fluffy couch.

 

A really nice gift might be to book Mom a suprise spa treatment just to make her feel special.

 

Have a wonderful time!

 

Wendy

[Kristina2040]

My mom (65) is also a little nervous about not finding things we both want to do. This will be our first cruise on 8/27 Mariner and I definitely know she would like to meet some others that are young at heart like her. She helps with a senior lunch and said she feels like the young one even with some her age, lol. But I was wondering about the singles meet and greet, do they do it on every cruise? Also how about this for the oposite of those jean/ hoochie mama threads. Is anyone else having a problem with helping a parent gets clothes for the cruise? My mom doesn't like the clothes that are at stores for ppl her group and tries to dress like I do, I'm 20. Right now we are trying to find a happy middle, lol. Anyone else going through this, lol?

[beachchick]

We've been in this situation, and it can be tricky. Your mom sounds like she doesn't want to do things alone. That's perfectly okay, but how do you all feel about it? Will she expect one or more of you to do things with her all day and evening? Or will she be okay with doing things on her own?

 

Often, widows/widowers who have not been alone for so many years, just don't know how to be anymore. And we naturally want our parents to have a good time and feel included. My concern regarding all of you enjoying the cruise would be whether your mom has realistic expectations of how much time you will all spend together and whether she will be happy with it. What you don't want to do is have her board with one set of expectations, while you board with another.

 

Does she have a friend she likes to spend time or travel with? Is it feasible financially to get another cabin for her and a friend (kind of like we do it with the kids, I guess)? That might be something to consider. On the one hand, she doesn't want to be a bother or "tag along," but on the other she doesn't want to be alone and wants others to do the things she wants to do. This could be a good compromise.

 

(And I am certainly not saying you should just abandon, sp?, her. I am saying that it's always good to have "all together" time and separate or "on our own" time as well. Families needn't be joined at the hip 24/7 to be having a good family vacation.)

 

Because she has cruised before, she should have a pretty good idea of the onboard activities she prefers. You might want to kind of go over which types of things you'll all enjoy together, and which she might consider doing on her own.

 

Hope you all have a wonderful time.

 

beachchick

[newcruiser48]

Thank you all so much. I'm going to show her this thread tomorrow and I hope it eases her mind. She does do things on her own and we did bring up the idea of a friend going, but that didn't work out. She is a worrier at heart and I think once she gets there, it will be better.

 

Kristina, my mom went to Boscov's and bought a couple of really dressy pantsuits, she doesn't really like dresses, and they don't look "old lady-ish".