Fika, Hygge and Other Baltic Delights - A Queen Anne Diary

[JakTar]

This is the (rather long) diary of a 14-night Baltic cruise aboard Cunard’s newest addition to the fleet with ports of call in Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Estonia and Finland. It may be of interest to those contemplating a similar cruise.

 

 

Tuesday 04 June 2024

 

 

Cunard’s 249th vessel and her first since 2010, Queen Anne, is to be named in Liverpool, its spiritual home, although the company no longer even has a presence in the Cunard Building, one of the Three Graces on the Liverpool waterfront where thousands wait for the official start of proceedings. First impressions of the Venice-built ship are underwhelming - she appears to resemble the traditional image of her 17th century eponym being rather large and top heavy.

The highlight, after the ship is named by the assembled masses as a tribute to the city, is supposed to be a performance by tenor Andrea Bocelli, but after his second song, Time To Say Goodbye (underwhelming as a solo performance rather than a duet), it was.

 

 

 

 

Sunday 30 June 2024 - Day 1 - Southampton

 

 

Thanks to YMG mixing up clean clothes with those that need washing, I find myself this morning having to wear Schrodinger's underpants.

I show YMG my passport photo. "Do I look much older now than two years ago?"

"Yes, but you're like an old wine..."

"Gone off and sour?"

After a couple of hours on the Manchester to Southampton train, I set off for the tea trolley four carriages away, swaying and staggering through packed, standing-room-only carriages (oops, sorry, apologies, sorry, oops...). At one point I lurch and reach out to steady myself by grabbing hold of a metal bar…which turns out to be the leg of an ironing board! More oops, sorry, apologies ensue until I eventually reach my destination.

"Tea please, but don't serve me until we reach Oxford. It'll be safer if I get off the train and walk back to my carriage along the platform…" which is what I do a few minutes later.

At the Mayflower Cruise Terminal there is a huge, snaking queue - due to an air bridge failure. After the check-in queue, there’s the security queue (elderly, middle class, mobility-challenged cruise passengers have a long and ignoble history of terrorist outrages) and, after boarding, there are queues for the lifts, half of which are reserved for crew lugging luggage.

We head for our inside cabin, 9038. Wardrobe space is fine for two people who haven’t brought different outfits for four gala nights (one too many, I think, for a 14-night cruise) although it’s a challenge to hang anything up until I take down most of the 97 hangers! The cabin also has a fridge, two complimentary bottles of champagne, a hairdryer, complimentary slippers, tea and coffee making facilities… The shower is unexpectedly large and there are dispensers of Penhaligon of London toiletries - all actually “Made in the Czech Republic”. There’s a TV which can’t be used until the safety video has been watched (I rub my hands with hand sanitizer which I then rub all over the remote) and, on the dressing table, there’s passenger information, writing materials, and a copy of the Daily Programme which declares that Captain David Hudson, his officers and crew are thrilled to welcome us on board. I don’t think there’s ever been a time when someone has actually declared themselves “thrilled” to see me.

The chevron corridor carpet (blue - forwards, gold - midships, red - aft) points to the lifts where, conveniently, there’s a large central bench. We’re on the same deck as The Pavilion and the buffet-style Artisans’ Food Hall. The Pavilion has a bar, a small pool, a large TV screen where some are watching football (England vs. Slovakia in the Euros), and a huge, retractable, glass dome roof. The food hall looks inviting although passing places by the forward entrance are too narrow for two-way traffic. Excellent - there’s hot drinks and fruit juice on tap 24/7.

The Brevis String Trio are playing in the heart of the ship - the Grand Lobby with its impressive, three-deck-high, transitioning mural (the scenes change as you move around it) - as we head to the Britannia Restaurant for an early dinner. We’re shown to a table for two but we’ll ask for a sharing table in future.

After dinner we have a decision to make - which is the ladies’ and which is the gents’? The icons look the same. Ah. The difference is in the waist, not the legs.

Tonight’s headline act is comedian and musical performer Jon Courtenay, winner of Britain’s Got Talent in 2020. He finishes his well-received show by telling us that he’s selling CDs in the shop - profits go to sick animals, although he didn't know they were sick when he bet on them.

Afterwards, we listen to Sounds of the 80s with the Queens Room Musicians and pianist Brian Pamphilon playing up in the Commodore Club (the library is next door, and is smaller than on other Cunard ships).

Where’s the navigation chart? It isn’t in in the library nor in the Chart Room. What? There’s isn’t one?? Very poor. Hopefully this grievous omission will be rectified.

 

 

 

 

Monday 01 July 2024 - Day 2 - At sea

 

 

After watching the chair aerobics (I’m too lazy to join in), I go for a power walk around the promenade deck watching marine traffic ply the calm North Sea under bright blue skies and wisps of cloud. By the time I’ve finished I’ve worked up a good sweat. 2.5 Laps = 1 Mile? So I’ve done… Oh, at least… Well, whatever half a lap is…

In the Queens Room at 11.15 there’s a Ballroom Dance Class: Beginners Cha Cha where the shortage of apostrophes is contagious. There are no dance hosts, the dance teacher’s under-familiarity with English makes him a little difficult to understand (although there are TV screens either side of the stage so his footwork can be seen), and there’s time to practise at the end of the lesson to an excellent track - Last Night by Chris Anderson.

Following on is an equally popular line dance lesson although I wonder if there was a subtle message in the choice of track (appropriately enough, by Queen) between the lessons - Fat Bottomed Girls!

The line dance teacher makes one silly mistake - asking, “Was it something I said?” when a couple leaves the class in the middle. They looked very put out. It should be drilled into all the staff that you don’t embarrass guests publicly.

Have I missed something? I check the Daily Programme. No, I haven’t. Not only is there no navigation chart, there’s no noonday bell ringing either. Of course, these traditions will mean nothing to new Cunard passengers.

It’s still calm but cloudier as we explore more of the outside spaces, up to deck 12 forward where there are activities including paddle tennis, putting and shuffleboard either side of a fine, large viewing and relaxation area.

At 1.15pm there is a port presentation on Hamburg given to a packed audience in the Royal Court Theatre. Surprisingly, there isn’t a hard sell for the ship’s shore excursions (perhaps they’ve already sold well anyway) and there’s plenty of information for the independent explorer. We’ll dock at Steinwerder, far from the centre, but there will be a complimentary shuttle service into town.

Afterwards we play a game of shuffleboard where I lose 25-0! 25-0? How did that happen? Back at the back of the ship with its pool and (very frothy) jacuzzis, we catch the tail end of the music trivia quiz before joining the queue for the afternoon tea dance. Similar teas are also served in the buffet and the Britannia Restaurant, but the Queens Room is where the dancing and live music is. Tables start to become free after about 20 minutes so perhaps the trick is to arrive either 20 minutes early or 20 minutes late.

The tasty finger sandwiches get the thumbs-up, particularly the carrot and chutney, and, of course, (lashings of) tea, scones with clotted cream (jam first? Of course not. You don’t put jam on your bread before butter) and an almost irresistible array of other sweet treats.

YMG goes off to Aqua Zumba whilst I stay for the talk on Famous Art Heists starting with Hans Memling’s The Last Judgement, stolen in 1473 by Polish pirates, through to the late 20th century and Stephane Breitwieser and Anne Kleinklaus, the world's most prolific art thieves - 239 artworks stolen from 172 museums across Europe over 6 years.

Tonight’s a gala night but there’s no captain's pre-dinner, welcome-aboard party, or perhaps there is, for frequent flyers, by invitation only. There are two lines outside the Britannia Restaurant. Made a booking? Queue on the left. Not made a booking? Queue on the right. There are dozens in the left and nobody on the right. We don’t have a reservation so walk straight in. A sharing table please.

Our fellow diners are a retired couple from Southampton, and a librarian mother and her wannabe diplomat daughter from the Midlands who’s hoping for a posting to Beirut or Cairo. The food and company are very enjoyable.

Our gala evening is divided between dancing to the Queens Room Musicians (the two vocalists, Rebecca and Steven were excellent) and the karaoke in the modern-pub-style Golden Lion (the twenty-two vocalists were diabolical).

 

 

 

 

Tuesday 02 July 2024 - Day 3 - Hamburg

 

 

De Jungs Vun De Logehus HHLA Shanty Chor greet us with sea shanties in the cruise terminal from where it’s a half-hour ride to the drop-off point by the Rathausmarkt square and the neo-renaissance city hall. It’s cool and grey with light rain as we decide to head for the main train station, a 10-minute walk down Monckerbergstrasse, to see if a day-trip to Lubeck is feasible with the last shuttle heading back to the ship at 6pm. A girl with a Cunard board is at the station, directing passengers joining the ship today to their coaches. With the weather as it is, she recommends leaving Lubeck for another day, perhaps when we reach Kiel.

Halfway along Monckerbergstrasse is the elegant Roncalli Grand Café where amongst its array of temptations is a genuine baked cheesecake - perfect for mid-morning coffee. The café is owned by the owner of the Roncalli Circus, hence the Viennese-style café’s theme.

There’s still light drizzle as we leave and head to the Binnenalster lake, passing the spiral, arts and crafts Hulbehaus next to the Gothic-style St. Peter’s Church; the city hall; and shops and cafes of the Alster Arcade where birds nest in the eaves.

If we’re not going to Lubeck we should see more of Hamburg with a Hop On Hop Off bus. The nearest stop is by the city hall just beyond our shuttle stop, but a shortcut back across a bridge over the water is denied to us by a police roadblock. Ah! A black Mercedes has crashed into a branch of the Haspa savings bank across the road.

We board a Yellow Line 5 bus and sites we pass include the Stock Exchange, the concert hall, St. Michael’s Church and the World War II-bombed tower ruins of the St. Nicholas Church, the red-light St. Pauli district, and the Reeperbahn where the Beatles’ career began. We get off the bus at Brucke 4 because it’s by the entrance to the Elbtunnel. We take the lift down to the tunnel and walk through to the other side, eventually emerging on the opposite bank which has fine views back to the city. By the viewpoint is a memorial to the shipyard victims of the satellite concentration camp of Neuengamme.

We hurry back through the tunnel and are just in time to catch the last yellow bus of the day to continue our tour of the city, passing the warehouse district; Hafen City; the railway station; the outer Alster lake bordered by consulates, historic houses and fine, expensive villas; and Sierichstrasse: a one-way street that changes direction depending on the time of day!

Back on board, the weather is fine as we drift down the Elbe, sailing past the Schulauer Fahrhaus where, as tradition dictates, diners on the jetty of the waterfront beer garden and eatery wave as the ship sounds its horn in greeting.

John Courtenay is performing a second show this evening - this time in the Queens Room. We stay on to listen to the rock sounds of the Amethyst Duo and end the night in the adjacent Bright Lights Society which becomes the late night disco. I’m starting to feel that we’re now actually on a cruise because there's a slight wobble to the ship.

 

 

 

 

Wednesday 03 July 2024 - Day 4 - At sea

 

 

This morning’s dance class is Beginners Salsa where teacher doesn’t check that his feet are visible to the camera and therefore the passengers, hence their difficulty in following him. This is followed by a Zumba session which YMG joins, but I find it exhausting just watching the warmup. 50 women and 1 bloke doing squats... I had to leave and look out to the horizon for a few minutes to recover.

I pick up a couple of the daily news digests, Britain Today and USA Times, and settle down to read them in the in the plush surrounds of the chartless Chart Room.

There’s a standing-room-only Port Presentation at 2.15 on Copenhagen, Visby & Tallinn where, again, there’s much useful information for those going ashore independently, and complimentary shuttles will be available at all the ports. Many leave a few minutes before the end of the presentation to secure a spot for the white-gloved afternoon tea service in the Queens Room, but we wait till it finishes then queue for 20 minutes until a couple of places become available.

After afternoon tea there’s a well-presented Art Talk on Salvador Dali, preceded by a showing of Destino - a collaboration between Dali and Disney. The great man had his first public exhibition at age 14, and every one of his pieces sold!

In the afternoon trivia quiz in the Golden Lion, our 2-man team scores 15 out of 20, losing out to a 6-man team scoring 19 out of 20. I think there should be a handicapping system based on team sizes. A team of 2? Starting score - +2 points. A team of 3? +1 point. 4? 0 points. 5? -1. 6? -2 etc. In case of a tie, the smaller team wins.

We haven’t tried the Jacuzzis yet so, despite the cold, we put on our white dressing gowns and waddle out to the back of deck 9 for a warm soak in the excessively foamy water before dinner where there’s an empty walk-in queue for the Britannia restaurant. Our sharing table includes a voluble, cockney Covid denier and his compliant wife who remind me that the world is composed of four elements: protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons. Better company is provided by a couple from St. Johns, Newfoundland whose journey comprised flights to Halifax, Frankfurt and London and then a coach to Southampton.

 

 

 

 

Thursday 04 July 2024 - Day 5 - Copenhagen

 

 

Our shuttle stop is by King’s Square (Kongens Nytorv), a short walk from Nyhaven, the colourful waterfront area full of townhouses, bars, cafes, restaurants and tourists. It’s raining heavily, but the forecast is for the weather to improve so we pick up combined HoHo tickets for both bus and boat from a tourist information office on Holbergsgade.

Our bus ride takes us past the Amalienborg Palace which we can’t make out in the rain; the Gefion Fountain depicting the mythical story of the founding of Zealand (the eponymous goddess turns her sons into oxen… don’t ask); the orange-hued Nyboder, blocks of houses that used to be naval barracks; and half an hour later we arrive at the iconic Little Mermaid where our bus stops for five minutes - just enough time for me to splash and dash through the rain to take a photo of her.

We continue on to Rosenborg Castle which we can actually see because the rain has lessened, past the busy Norreport train station and the adjacent Latin Quarter, before arriving at the Tivoli Gardens amusement park which is where we get off, now that the rain has almost stopped.

At the main tourist information office nearby, if we’re looking for a famous old café, Conditori La Glace is suggested. It’s a 15-minute walk across to the town hall plaza and along the pedestrianised Freriksberggade to Denmark’s oldest patisserie, founded in 1870. Despite the queue, we’re soon seated and enjoying coffees and Sensommer tarte - “apple compote, vanilla custard, marzipan and shortcrust pastry, decorated with apples and almonds” served with cream.

We emerge into warm sunshine an hour later, retracing our steps to the HoHo stop and continuing our journey past waterside hotels, crossing over to Christianshavn and the Church of Our Saviour with its spiral spire, and returning to our starting point in Nyhavn.

Our boarding point for our 1-hour boat trip is opposite the Hans Christian Andersen house and our trip in the sunshine along canals, past houseboats and dining boats, takes us to the Black Diamond (part of the Royal Library), the Opera House, the Holmen naval base and museum, the Little Mermaid and the royal jetty.

All this touring is hungry work so we sit outside Nyhavn’s Orseund restaurant and order creamy mushroom vol-au-vents washed down with beer until it’s time to head back as the last shuttle is at 19.45.

Our sailaway has views of the Oresund Bridge in the distance but, sadly (and confusingly - Visby is our next stop) we’re sailing away from it, not towards it.

YMG goes back to the cabin to tend her cold whilst I wait, and wait…and wait in the queue at the Purser's Office just to pick up a news digest. Why aren’t they put on the counter so anyone can just pick up a copy?

Neither Lorraine Brown singing in the Queens Room nor the comedy juggling of John Nations in the theatre interest me so I settle down in the Golden Lion, listening to the agreeable folk music of Aileen and Sticks playing classics (probably for the umpteenth time) such as The Ferryman and Dirty Old Town.

 

 

 

 

Friday 05 July 2024 - Day 6 - At sea

 

 

At the morning Port Presentation: Helsinki & Stockholm in the theatre, there’s much useful information, again, for the independent traveller. Later, there’s a talk by 400m runner Roger Black, a 1990’s Olympic silver medallist and World championship gold medallist, who only turned to athletics because his aspirations to be a doctor were stymied by A-level results that weren't good enough for university. His talk includes a captivating account of beating the Americans and winning gold in the 4x400m World Championship relay final in Tokyo in 1991.

There's a little maritime traffic as we sail on calm, shimmering seas, and land visible to port and starboard, but the absence of a navigation chart means I'm clueless about what's around. We go for a stroll around the occasionally-too-narrow wraparound promenade deck where black glass and strong sunshine provides a perfect opportunity for YMG to have some Harry Worth photos taken, before a lunch on deck 9 aft listening to the Irish folk duo. I’m looking out for marine life but there’s none to be seen, apart from a couple of whales in the jacuzzis.

At 3pm there’s an afternoon tea dance in the Queens Room with the Queens Orchestra. We dance a waltz then tuck into finger sandwiches and scones with jam and proper cream, as a very sweaty dancer and his partner dance an extended jive to much applause.

In the theatre an hour later, there’s an enjoyable performance of Emma Rice’s stage and screen musical adaptation of Brief Encounter, which has been a worldwide success. In real life the famous station clock has sadly disappeared, with no indication of when it might ever return to Carnforth.

Tonight is a gala night and our fellow diners are an engaging, and engaged, German and Indonesian couple who boarded in Hamburg. Telling them of our search for historic cafes and traditional patisserie, they recommend we try franzbrötchen (cinnamon rolls) when we get to Kiel. They do something similar - researching seafood restaurants to visit at each port of call.

Our enjoyable evening is spent at the Masquerade Ball where we have an occasional dance. It’s a shame that the Queens Room is a dance space rather than a ballroom.

 

 

 

 

Saturday 06 July 2024 - Day 7 - Visby

 

 

It’s a warm, sunny day as we step on to the quay, pass the blue shipping container that serves as the Port Of Visby Security, and board the shuttle for the short ride to Almedalen Park, named for its profusion of elm trees. The Daily Programme describes Visby as, “…arguably the best preserved medieval city in Scandinavia”. The UNESCO website goes further, stating that the world heritage site, “…was the main centre of the Hanseatic League in the Baltic from the 12th to the 14th century. Its 13th-century ramparts and more than 200 warehouses and wealthy merchants' dwellings from the same period make it the best-preserved fortified commercial city in northern Europe.”

We go for a short stroll along the seafront where hardy swimmers are taking a dip in the sea before heading into town, through the park, skirting the lake to the red-roofed Kruttornet, the oldest tower in the city walls, by the fishing port. Continuing along cobblestone lanes and colourful cottages, we arrive at the small square of Donners plats and the tourist information centre where sites of interest are marked for us on a town map.

The main square of Stora torget is busy with market stalls in the shadow of the ruins of the medieval St Catherine’s Church. From the square there are 74 steps up to the hilltop Kyrkberget by St. Mary’s Cathedral giving fine views over the town and to the sea beyond. Keeping the city walls in view, we continue along more pretty streets to Osterport, one of three entrances to the town from the Visby hinterland.

The tourist office suggested the nearby S:t Hans Café on Hansgatan as somewhere to enjoy that most civilised of Swedish rituals - fika. The café has a fine spacious garden out back and we sit in the sun enjoying coffees with jordgubb-rabarberpaj - strawberry rhubarb pie.

We have an hour left before the last shuttle so explore two more of the tourist office’s recommendations: the flower-festooned, cobblestone street of Fiskargrand, and the botanical gardens surrounding the ruins of St. Olaf’s Church.

The Amethyst Duo provide the sailaway music out on deck 9 aft where I notice the following, “As a courtesy to your fellow guests, please refrain from reserving sun loungers” - aber warum nicht auf deutsch?

The Pavilion is packed (and stifling - does the roof only have two settings: fully open and fully closed?) for the bore-fest that is the Euro 2024 quarter final between England and Switzerland. I go to the adjacent buffet for something to eat where the motion-sensitive taps and soap dispensers sort of work, dispensing water from one basin and soap from the other. I chat with John Nations, the juggler. He's unsure about the new theatre layout with the audience being so far away but I tell him that I prefer the watching experience because, unlike the theatres on the other queens, there's no perspex in front of me to distort my view from the upper tier.

 

 

 

 

Sunday 07 July 2024 - Day 8 - Tallinn

 

 

Oh, dear. It’s an even wetter start to the day than it was in Copenhagen. However, it’s expected to improve later and we’re in port till 8.30 this evening. Our first views, from our breakfast window seats, are of church spires, with the tall, thin spire of the medieval St. Olaf’s church (used as a radio tower and surveillance point by the KGB) predominant in the foreground.

Before boarding our shuttle bus, we look round the stalls in the terminal building where, just like on the ship, it’s a challenge to discern from the icons (a tenpin and a plumb bob), which is the gents and which is the ladies.

From our drop-off point at the Canute Garden on Mere Boulevard, it’s a 5-minute walk to the twin stone circular towers of the Viru Gate. Another short walk, up the cobblestone Viru Street flanked by pastel-coloured buildings housing shops and cafes, brings us to the fairy-tale surrounds of the Town Hall Square which is today hosting one of its medieval days as well as a market. From the Gothic town hall with is stone arches and 16th century weather vane, we walk along Kullaseppa to the Tourist Information Office round the corner, outside which is a statue to local writer Jaan Kross, so new that it doesn’t (currently) appear on Google maps.

We continue to Toompea, the upper old town, passing the Niguliste Church and Museum and through the 15th century Short Leg Gate to the beautiful, Eastern Orthodox, Alexander Nevski Cathedral with its great onion domes, mosaics and iconography. The rain stops as we look in on the Dome Church (St. Mary’s Cathedral), out across the town from Bishop’s Garden viewpoint, and pass the mustard-coloured Stenbock House where the Prime Minister’s office and the Chancellery are located.

We descend to the lower town via the Long Leg Gate and eventually find the tourist-office-recommended Café Maiasmokk on Pikk, dating from 1864, which provides a welcome respite from the heat and the sun. At a table by an open window upstairs, we spend enjoy potato salad (leaves, pickled cucumber and radish, and warm roast potatoes drizzled with arugula, says the menu), and tea with berries curd sponge roll.

Back by the Viru gates there’s the Tschu-Tschu road train. Shall we? Well, why not? I’ll tell you why not - because it’s a 30-minute, bouncing, rattling, bone-shaking ride along cobbled streets, admittedly through lots of areas we haven’t yet managed to see.

YMG has had enough - she wants to head back to the ship and tend her cold. I walk her back to the shuttle stop then head back into town and the little green space by the Viru Gate where there’s a statue of two lovers which I think deserves to be more centrally located.

The stall of the medieval days in the Town Hall Square are closing up as I head to Kiek in die Kok on the other side of the old town where, appropriately, the artillery tower has 500-year-old balls embedded in its walls - cannonballs, that is!

A relaxing evening is spent listening to the Amethyst Duo playing the music of Queen in The Bright Lights Society then Aileen and Sticks in The Golden Lion.

 

 

 

 

Monday 08 July 2024 - Day 9 - Helsinki

 

 

Today it’s warm and sunny and we have a guide to show us round town who we’re meeting by the waterside Market Hall, next to our shuttle stop. This is the first time that YMG has seen Tapio, her former lodger, since he got married. Across the harbour, busy with sightseeing boats, is the ferris wheel, and across the road is the Palace Hotel, apparently a Finnish masterpiece of modernism.

We go for a walk around the waterfront, where stone turtles act as playful traffic obstacles, past waterside stalls along the esplanade and over a pedestrian bridge covered in love locks, and across to Kanavapuisto Park and the steps leading up to the red-brick, Greek Orthodox Uspenski Cathedral with its green roofs and gold onion domes shimmering in the sun. The church overlooks the Main Guard garrison and the Presidential Palace beyond.

We return to the esplanade via Torikorttelit, the very small historic centre, and past the Keisarinnankivi obelisk, unveiled in 1835 and commemorating the first visit to Helsinki, two years earlier, by Empress Alexandra, the wife of Tsar Nicholas I.

The glass pavilion of Kapelli, a beautiful café / bar / restaurant, is at the entrance to Esplanadi Park. It opened in 1867 and remains a favourite haunt of artists and writers, and day visitors. Everything on display looks irresistible and we plump for tea and strawberry rhubarb pie. I never knew that rhubarb was so popular in Baltic countries.

From the neo-classical Lutheran Helsinki Cathedral with its green domes, columns and pediments on all four sides, we walk to the Central Station - a very grand, art-nouveau building next to the Finnish National Theatre - dominated by a clock tower and fronted by the Lyhdynkantajat - giant sculptures of four lantern bearers.

Nearby, at Lasipalatasi, the plaza of the Amos Rex contemporary art museum, Tapio and I go off in search of somewhere to eat whilst YMG immerses herself in the silent experience of the spruce-clad Kamppi Chapel in a corner of the plaza. The buffet lunch offered at the Plaza restaurant in the square fits the bill perfectly - the food is plentiful and we enjoy a tasty lunch of bread, fish and salads.

We’re keen to see the church where he got married, so Tapio takes us past the Hotel Torni, until 1976 the tallest building in Finland, on through Vanha kirkkopuisto, now a church park and formerly a cemetery for victims of the 1710 plague, to the hilltop, neo-Gothic, Lutheran, St. John’s Church with its twin towers, and where he proudly poses for photos.

Why are street names in two languages? If an area is predominantly Swedish then the Swedish street name is above the Finnish name, and if an area is predominantly Finnish, the reverse applies.

Sadly, it’s time to head back after a fine day and I take some photos of Tapio and YMG before hugged goodbyes. Oh, dear. Too late do I notice that I’ve ruined the photos by having my thumb partially obscuring the lens!

We finish a tasty, buffet dinner in time for Pictures at the Pavilion where The Last Rifleman is being screened. I fail to realise it’s Pierce Brosnan starring as the care home escapee making his way to France to attend D-Day commemorations.

YMG is wearing one of her psychedelic joggers and is worried she isn't dressed properly for 70s night in the Queens Room.

"Nothing symbolised terrible, garish fashion more than the 70s, so you're dressed perfectly," I tell her.

Strangely, she doesn't take it as a compliment.

Afterwards, we do the Wipeout Trivia quiz in The Golden Lion. Pigs are protected in Florida? Who knew? The winner of each stage of the TdF wears the yellow jersey? Actually, no - not the way the question is phrased, anyway.

My late night snack is particularly tasty -artichoke and potato tagine with basmati rice. It’s midnight and still light, so we go aft to take some photos.

 

 

 

 

Tuesday 09 July 2024 - Day 10 - Stockholm

 

 

Sailing through the Stockholm Archipelago is one of the great cruise experiences, even on a cloudy morning. Sunshine is expected later so the sail out should be even more photogenic. As we pass the Rainbow fountain archway and the Moai sculptures at Nacka Strand, I put my danish pastry on a stack of deck chairs to get better shots. In an instant, a seagull swoops and relieves me of my breakfast.

Turn right for the HoHo buses or left for the HoHo boats? We turn left, buy combined bus and boat tickets by the dock and wait in strong sunshine for our Red Sightseeing boat to arrive (other companies are available). We stay onboard for an hour as it makes several stops, learning (once I find something sharp to manipulate the audio control) that there are 30,000 islands in the archipelago (although many of them are actually skerries) and 1 in 6 swedes owns a boat. As we approach the old town I remember I’ve forgotten to set the camera time back an hour, easily done with so many time changes.

We get off at Djurgarden, by the Grona Lund amusement park, as it seems to be a good place to transfer to the HoHo bus. Maps can be deceptive; however, but eventually we find the stop (turn right after the amusement park, not left), although it’s half an hour before a Red Sightseeing bus arrives.

We stay on the bus for an hour, passing the Vasa Museum (also one of the boat stops) as we head out to another cruise terminal before coming back, to the “embassy town” with its arboretum, the Karlaplan plaza, outlying parks and gardens, Olof Palmes Gata where the Prime Minister was murdered, the city hall, and the Royal Opera House which is where we get off because it’s where we will pick up the shuttle back to the ship and we want to familiarise ourselves with the area.

We cross over to the old town, go through the courtyard of the Royal Palace and on to the heart of Gamla Stan along cobblestone streets to Stortorget with a well at its centre and surrounded by tall, pastel-coloured buildings. The square is an ideal place for fika and Sten Sture with its historic cellar vaults dating from the 14th century, and tea and a slice of blueberry pie dating from rather later (hopefully) recharges us for the rest of the day’s sightseeing.

We cross over bridges to get to the little island of Skeppsholmen, so close to the busy city and yet a quiet green oasis, hoping to find the HoHo boat stop on the opposite side of the island from where we can ride across the water to return to the ship, but we fail to do so. On we walk around the island, with its museums, green spaces and boatyards, before returning to the Opera House for the last shuttle back.

The sail out through the archipelago in glorious sunshine is fabulous, and it seems half the ship is up on deck 12 forward trying to get the best shots.

It’s yet another gala night, and tonight’s theme is Red & Gold. I’m tired of wearing my evening suit and bow tie so wear a sober suit with a red tie. Our fellow diners tonight include two sisters from Kansas City, one a former nurse and the other a former farmer; and a couple from Colston Bassett where the best Stilton is made, apparently. Baked Alaska? Cheesecake? Sticky Toffee Pudding? Oh, it’s so tempting, but we can’t otherwise we’ll miss tonight’s show in the Royal Court Theatre. Let’s Dance is described in the Daily Programme as “a high tempo show that that will have you up on your feet” but it didn’t didn’t. The tap routine; however, was rather brilliant brilliant.

Well, we may have skipped dessert at dinner, but there’s a very tasty summer berries pudding at the late night buffet. Afterwards, we go out to look at the red skies on the horizon to end a particularly excellent day.

 

 

 

 

Wednesday 10 July 2024 - Day 11 - At sea

 

 

I think I’ll have pancakes for breakfast, but just with lemon juice rather than any of the artery-clogging accompaniments. I eventually locate slices of lemon by the smoked salmon platter.

At 11am in the Royal Court Theatre there’s a talk by Robert Lapraik entitled, “My experiences as an RAF fast jet Pilot” including tales intercepting Russian aircraft heading towards UK airspace. The entertaining talk is heavily punctuated with coughs from all quarters.

There's just enough time after the jive class and before the 2.15pm Port Presentation: Kiel & Skagen to grab a sandwich and a plate of crisps, and smash a glass that slips through my fingers. Fortunately, few people are around and the maître’d is quickly on the scene to arrange a clear up.

At the Afternoon Tea Dance (after our usual 20-minute wait), we succumb to one of the little patisserie items, sharing a caramel choux. It’s delicious and decadent, but perhaps better appreciated with a small break after a cucumber sandwich.

Later, when it’s time to get ready for dinner, we can’t - access through the Pavilion is blocked.

Dear Captain,

Can you please hold your private shindigs at a time and place less  inconvenient? Restricting through-access from one end of a deck to another is thoughtless and discourteous, particularly for less able passengers who are then forced to go up and down decks to get from one end of the ship to the other!

Yours irritably…

Our fellow diners are the Canadian couple from a week ago (they foster greyhounds!) plus a German / Persian couple (a lecturer and his much younger refugee companion/ward), and they’re excellent company.

Tonight’s showtime features The Bluejays and their rock n roll show in the theatre where the music is fine but, frustratingly, there’s no space to get up and dance.

 

 

 

 

Thursday 11 July 2024 - Day 12 - Kiel

 

 

Today’s plan is to visit Lubeck despite the early all-aboard time of 4.30pm. The train station is just a couple of stops on the bus, but we’re dismayed to discover that Lubeck is an hour and a half by train. We thought it was much closer. Well, there’s a train in fifteen minutes which gets in at 11.32 so we could have three hours in Lubeck. Let’s do it. Ah, we can’t. There’s no staff around to show us how to buy tickets from the machine and, just like at Hamburg, the Deutsche Bahn office works through customer queries very, very slowly. We give up - let’s see what Kiel in the sunshine has to offer.

Outside the station is a red, open-top, HoHo bus so we hop aboard and soon we’re off to our first stop - the cruise terminal where there’s a large queue of people waiting at the stop by the lighthouse.

As we drive along the waterfront, packed with vessels of all kinds, military and civilian, the audio commentary tells us that Germany’s only deep water port in the Baltic considers itself the world sailing capital, hosting Kiele Woche - the world's largest sailing event. What the commentary doesn’t say, is that it would be better to sit on the right of the City Sightseeing bus for the best views.

We pass the castle, the botanical gardens, and Flandernbunker (a museum and memorial site) on the way to Kiel Canal (the busiest artificial waterway in the world, according to the Daily Programme) before crossing over the Olympia Bridge and driving along Kanalstrasse where the houses and gardens have the look and feel of a quiet county village.

Driving back, towards the historic centre, there’s ironic laughter when, having been knocked out of the Euros a few days ago, the audio commentary tells us we’re approaching an intersection known as Jurgen-Klinsmann-Platz where German victories are celebrated. We continue on, around the lakes of Kleiner Kiel to the town hall plaza, before returning to the cruise terminal to end our 90-minute tour.

Ah, if only we were here tomorrow - there’s a poster outside the St. Nikolai church (once the oldest building of the Alter Markt, but destroyed in World War II and rebuilt) advertising a concert tomorrow of Shanties & Seasongs. Never mind; during the summer I can listen to them at the open rehearsals by the lifeboat stations at Lytham and St. Anne’s.

After coffee and cake at the Campus Suite café, we go for a walk in the Hiroshimapark, around the lake and past sculptures of the great and the good with Kiel connections, before strolling along the promenade on the other side of the cruise terminal where we have ice creams whilst people-watching in the sunshine. Across the road is the shade and lush greenery of the old botanical gardens, and the castle garden next to it.

One day we’ll get to Lubeck, but a restful day in this Hanseatic port (although it was expelled from the Hanseatic League in 1518 for harbouring pirates) has been just fine, capped by a spectacular fireboat salute creating rainbows in the spray.

We sail past the entry to the canal and on to the entrance of the fjord past the distinctive green and white Friedrichsort lighthouse, and the Laboe Naval Memorial tower and U-boat on the opposite shore, sounding the ship’s horn as a salute and a get-out-of-the-way signal to the dozens of sailboats all around.

The scenic sail out aft is to the accompaniment of excellent rock and pop music by the Amethyst Duo and some of the orchestra musicians.

It’s time for dinner and YMG leads the way, eager to show she’s got the layout of the ship well and truly sorted.

“So, I'm at 9 back and going to 3 front?”

“No, we're at 9 front and the restaurant is at 3 back.”

One of our fellow diners is a freelance cruise photographer who explains the nods to Cunard's history in the ship’s design, such as the Bright Lights Society showbar which is a throwback to when electric lighting was first introduced to the fleet.

[Post-cruise, I learn much about the references to Cunard’s history in the ship’s design from videos by maritime author Chris Frame:

https://www.chriscunard.com/queen-anne/queen-anne-facts

and

https://www.chriscunard.com/queen-anne]

A post-prandial, pre-show walk along the promenade deck is well-timed as we sail under the Great Belt suspension bridge. In the theatre, tonight’s featured entertainer is Liverpool comedian John Evans. I might have heard it all before oh, so many times (“I’ve just come off a Saga ship - the portholes are bifocal”), but it seemed to go down well with all except the inscrutable Asian couple next to me.

 

 

 

 

Friday 12 July 2024 - Day 13 - Skagen

 

 

We’ve arrived at the northernmost town in Denmark at the tip of Jutland, and our shuttle drops us off by the marina facing a picture-perfect view of a seaside town bathed in sunshine with buildings the colour of French mustard topped with rooves the colour of terracotta, and picket fences the colour of…. white. Our plan is to first visit Grenen at the tip of the tip of Denmark, then spend the rest of the day in town.

Buses run every 40 minutes and a return trip is $7 or €7. At Grenen, we board the Sandormen (Sandworm) trailer for the ride along the beach to the spit of land where we can work our way through the crowds and take the classic photo of having one foot in the North Sea and the other in the Baltic. There are nature trails through the reserve and there’s time to do a little wandering before the bus back to Skagen, taking in views of the radar bunker, the Bascule Light and the grey lighthouse.

There’s hygge to be had sitting outside at the Krages Bageri as we enjoy tea; a weirdly wonderful sandwich of smoked salmon, cabbage, pineapple, carrot and almond; and yet more rhubarb, this time in a turnover.

Whilst YMG looks for souvenirs, I go for a short photographic walk, taking in the museum which houses many works by the 19th century Skagen Painters (statues of Michael Ancher and PS Krøyer, two members of the group, stand in the museum garden); the water tower; and a memorial to eight fishermen lost in 1862 during a rescue mission.

Our walk back to the shuttle stop takes us past the old railway station (now an interiors store), the Plesner Hotel / Restaurant with its menu posted in the rear windscreen of a three-wheeler (Messerschmitt?) parked by the entrance, and quayside storehouses emitting a fragrance reminding us that this is Denmark’s main fishing port.

Whilst YMG buys souvenir shopping bags at the terminal, I overhear two Americans capturing the mood perfectly.

“Had a good day?”

“Fabulous.”

At five o’clock, we slip our moorings and wave goodbye to the beautiful town, and the quayside brass band that has been serenading us, and edge reluctantly away from our last port of call.

Tonight’s after-dinner theatre show is Pride and Prejudice* (*sort of) - an irreverent, 90-minute retelling of an age-old classic. Afterwards, we look in on the Roaring Twenties Gala Night in the Queens Room where the highlight, apart from some of the outfits, is an unrelated (curiously, also unadvertised), display of acrobatics by the Queen Anne aerialists during the intermission.

For reasons best known to her masochistic self, YMG is keen to go to another karaoke night in The Golden Lion. Apart from an agreeable performance of (Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay, it’s an atonal evening that I suffer through and she enjoys immensely, only agreeing to leave when I’m close to tears.

 

 

 

 

Saturday 13 July 2024 - Day 14 - At sea

 

 

Cold, grey, misty and wet - it seems a British summer awaits to welcome us back. The Daily Programme advertises a silent auction for the official ship’s chart, with proceeds going to The Prince’s Trust. Well, at least that Cunard tradition has been maintained.

After breakfast, there’s a Q&A session with Roger Black in the packed theatre. His greatest sporting moment? Bobby Stokes’ 82nd minute winner in the 1976 FA Cup Final for Southampton against Manchester United. And what's he going to sing at the last night karaoke? Disgracefully, he declines to commit.

Surprisingly, there’s a machine available in the laundry so I put on a wash before returning to the theatre for another talk given by Robert Lapraik, this time on the subject of spaceflight.

The navigation chart is on display in the Grand Lobby so I take a couple of photos before going to the Queens Room to video the samba recap at the end of the dance lesson, put the clothes in the dryer, then take in the promenade views of a calm sea, a cloud-covered sky, oil rigs and light marine traffic.

At the Afternoon Trivia quiz in The Golden Lion, we score a respectable 13 out of 20. The winners, with five in their team, scored 15, but if my scoring scheme had been adopted… The proper name for dragon fruit is pitaya? Who knew? Someone did know that the Albanian flag has a two-headed eagle, which probably indicates that they need to get out more.

The Brevis String Trio are playing in the Grand Lobby whilst outside, a grey day has morphed into a lovely sunny evening. Our packing continues apace and then it’s time for dinner where our table of six includes a lady from Hong Kong who’s about to start space research at Durham University, and a retired couple from Worcester who live with two Maine Coon cats.

Tonight is party night and The Bluejays are playing in the Queens Room. After their first set it’s off to the theatre for more from John Evans (boring for me but it went down well with the audience including my chortling companion) then it’s back to more dancing with The Bluejays on a packed dance floor - a rocking way to finish the cruise.

[Pear Carr]

Can I ask what YMG stands for, if you have cruised Cunard before and what did you think of Queen Anne?

[JakTar]

My travelling companion's initials.

Several times.

The lady is still finding her feet.

2 hours ago, Pear Carr said:

 

 

[rrobbins]

Thank you for your diary. We are booked on the 2025 World Cruise. We are from the USA and I found your descriptive terms very interesting. 

[Pear Carr]

Thank you! 

[Millieloulou]

So enjoyed reading your review.So much detail.Will read and enjoy yet again, and will make a note of where to find it when we do the same voyage.I have to ask if you know if The Bluejays are the same group from the late 70’s early 80’s.Headed by Justin Hayward and John Lodge.Thankyou 

[Victoria2]

7 minutes ago, Millieloulou said:

So enjoyed reading your review.So much detail.Will read and enjoy yet again, and will make a note of where to find it when we do the same voyage.I have to ask if you know if The Bluejays are the same group from the late 70’s early 80’s.Headed by Justin Hayward and John Lodge.Thankyou 

Justin Hayward's Blue Jays was an album, not a group [I have it along with all the Moody Blues albums].