Tuxedo etiquette

[Blazerboy]

Pleats go up (some say to catch crumbs...) Sure go ahead and wear them down, if you like, but those other 50% of the people will smile indulgently at you, thinking you don't know any better.;) (I know, who really cares, do what floats your boat, etc...:) I'm just teasing you- I wouldn't even notice-bad eyes...) But for those who do care...up!:D

 

Unless your tuxedo is "unique," it SHOULD (by default...) basically match your partner's! There are a few basic varieties- single or double breasted; peaked, notched, or shawl collar; and certainly the white dinner jacket for the tropics/summer months. If you're going for tradition, and wearing a standard black tux with white pleated shirt and black tie, the fact that your partner's tux is identical won't be noticed at all. I've been on a cruise with 11 other gay men, all in black tie together, some couples with matching colored ties and vests, and when we gathered before dinner, people still made comments like "ah, all waiting on your wives, are you?" :rolleyes: Basic rule of human nature: lots of oblivious people out there.

 

The ties and cummerbunds or vests are where it might look like "twinsies" but, again, some folks like that- we've all seen straight couples do it, so why not. O.k, so I haven't done anything like that ever, but I've become less rigid about these things. My feeling about the tie thing is that I'd never wear the same regular tie with a regular suit as my partner, so why would I do it with formal wear.

 

And, yes, I own two, and my partner three, and a variety of ties- but as we wear them often, and haven't changed size too much over the many years, still a better bargain then renting each time...but, and I'm no tailor, friends have rented and I couldn't tell the rentals from some of the non-rentals...if you're worried about packing weight, or headed on a hike after your cruise, it's an option...just know the potential pitfalls.

 

Andrew

[Schplinky]

Andrew,

 

You give the best advice. I'm "the partner" here and I hoped you'd chime in. Thanks also to the others who've helped. It look like we're going to buy and Mike is practically giddy about it. We were in Boston on the weekend and stopped at a mall in Woburn, Mass, on the way home. I was surprised to see Ralph Lauren tuxes on sale for $300 and other labels on sale for $200. I guess it's prom/wedding season.

 

Lee

[Blazerboy]

Lee, if you're going back to Boston soon, you might wait and go to Cambridge, to a store called Keezer's. It's where many a Harvard undergrad on a budget purchased a "lovingly pre-worn" tuxedo. They also carry new ones. Check out the website:

 

http://keezers.com/html/formal_wear.html

 

:D Dan from Nashville, I've had the patent leather shoes for as long as I've owned tuxedos...since I was 17...just a few years ago, I assure you! I even had the kind with the gros grain bow on the front..now if those don't look like girl's flats, I don't know what does!:eek:

 

Hope all's well.

 

Andrew

[Blazerboy]

O.k., kids. Here should have been mom's first clue about me, but I think she even bought them for me: Still available at Brooks Brothers, and YES, those are men's shoes...

 

Andrew

[Blazerboy]

And, while there are MUCH better looking patent leather shoes now available, even at Filene's Basement, Nordstrom Rack, Payless, DSW Wherehouse, etc., if you REFUSE to wear patent leather shoes, please, please put a high shine on your black dress shoes- normal "street" black shoes that aren't hightly polished tend to make you look like a awkward kid at the prom...:rolleyes:

 

Enough fashion policing for now.:D

 

Andrew

[ZellBrad]

We bought our Tuxedos on Ebay and saved a ton! Mine is a Brooks Brothers (new) Super 100s. I only paid @150. Give them a try but buy new.

 

Brad and Zell

[nashkan]

Andrew.... those are SOME shoes!!! We do wear black dress shoes, highly polished.... I owned a pair of patent leather shoes years ago and wore them once, I just thought they looked horrible and could not wear them again.... they were an expensive pair of shoes but they reminded me too much of "high-gloss" plastic... but I do think that those would be better then cowboy boots unless wearing the "Texas-Style" tuxes that are popular here in the Mid-West.... :D Dan...

[aaerobear]

Nashkan,

 

Don't be givin Andrew a heart attack now.

 

Ed

[Blazerboy]

Ed, thanks! Don't know if you all saw the thread a while ago about "formal" cowboy hats, and when it was appropriate to wear them in the dining room or on the ship at all!:eek:

 

Nearly DID give blazerboy here a heart attack!:D

 

Andrew

[Bramcruiser]

Good thread. I myself am debating the tuxedo debacle. My partner and I are going on the Queen Mary 2 later this year and now it seems that we should gussy up more than we usually do. Therefore, not since my brother's wedding 15 or so years ago, have I given a thought to wearing a tux. Oh I have worn many a dark suit since I work in the business field but we're thinking we should go the tux route.

 

I see nothing wrong with two guys wearing the same type of tux so whatever you choose is really up to you. I have no idea how we'll end up.As long as its not red or outlandish I'll be happy.

 

Good luck with your tux and enjoy your cruise.

[Blazerboy]

Bramcruiser, if the QM2 is as formal as the QE2, I'd say a tux is a safe bet- we found that about 75% of the men on our last crossing- '03 - wore "black tie"

 

I too am sailing on the QM2 at the end of October-first time on that ship- should be fun! When aree you on?

 

Andrew

[darrencantwait]

Andrew, I agree with you on the shoes. Though I do think they look just silly when you look at the shoes on their own, when paired with the tux, they just look right. And, the pumps with the grosgrain ribbon are probably the nicest of all. :cool:

[thulewx]

It's easy - to avoid the possible "tackiness" (I don't think they are, though :) ) of patent leather, just go with full formal scottish and wear Ghille Brogues!!! You'd be amazed at how many men are just dying to check if you've gone "commando" or not!!:D :eek:

[Bramcruiser]

Bramcruiser, if the QM2 is as formal as the QE2, I'd say a tux is a safe bet- we found that about 75% of the men on our last crossing- '03 - wore "black tie"

 

I too am sailing on the QM2 at the end of October-first time on that ship- should be fun! When aree you on?

 

Andrew

 

Blazerboy:

 

I saw the most wonderful looking tux in a store window yesterday and mentioned to my partner that I think I see the tux that would look good on the QM2. Since I've been known not to have good tastes, according to him, I was surprised he actually agreed. His comment being is that you don't want to look like you borrowed it from someone's wedding or pom graduation. All I can say is that tux better still be there!

 

We're doing the Dec 2/06 7-day Caribbean cruise and not the true transatlantic. Still its a chance to try out the ship and we get three "at sea" days which I enjoy tremendously when I cruise.

[Blazerboy]

Bramcruiser-

 

Good luck with the tux, and have fun on QM2! We're still trying to figure out if we should just go r/t out of NYC (Red Hook) for twelve days- (back to back crossings) or spend a week in England- cost would end up about the same, and, me, I'm all about the sea days....

 

Andrew

[SilentTraveller]

I have been a very, very good boy this time and have yet to buy anything new for my next cruise. Now all I can think about are those beautiful shoes with the ribbon.

Andrew – why oh why did you have to post the image of those shoes? You know us boys are excited by visuals. (I have even saved the image on my computer as the background – try it in tile format, so mesmerizing).

Now when I put on my own shoes they just seem so plain, so ordinary. How can I ever feel beautiful in them again? How can I ever slip them on and not feel emptiness inside?

[nashkan]

Andrew.... WWW.Sheplers.com has the lastest in "Western Formal" wear ....Tuxes worn with big cowboy belts, even formal cowboy hats! In the Mid-West many men DO NOT remove their hats (except in church), many of the pews have "hat racks" built-in underneath the pew..... just a way of life and of viewing things.... Also a lot of the cruise ships that leave from Texas allow jeans in the dining room at night because of the "culture". I am not saying that I agree with this, (actually I do not), but just the way it is.... I actually kind of like seeing different types of formal wear, but jeans in the dining room at night, I do not agree with.... PS ... I DO NOT have a Western-Style tux! :) my partner & I both have Oscar de la Renta tails that we got in Wichita, a couple years ago..... before the last cruise we bought our Grandson tails as well ... as much as he has grown this year we are going to have to buy him another this year or he will be in "formal shorts!" :eek: Dan

[Blazerboy]

Ah, Dan, it's all good. I hate the culture folks who say things are absolute as much as I hate the folks that say "because we all now do it, it's proper..." :rolleyes:

 

Life's too short...so, Silent Traveler, with that in mind, order a pair on line, NOW!:D

 

Andrew

[bepsf]

As much as I ADORE formal wear...

 

...i just can't abide by those patent leather shoes for myself - reminds me too much of those AWFUL Corfams we had to wear in the USAF.

 

I have a simple pair of black Ken Cole venetian loafers that I purchased and reserve specifically for my formalwear and keep a glass polish on - only costs $10 to have it done at my local shoeshine shop.

 

As far as bargains, I've bought most of my formalwear online or on sale. The tux came from Smartbargains.com, various bowties, shirts, vests and silk stockings from Lands' End, eBay and Jos Banks. I also purchased my latest addition, the white dinner jacket - from http://www.buy4lesstuxedo.com/ - along w/ the most amazing set of links and studs from them:

 

I have a couple cummerbunds (pleats up, please - and don't wear it so tight or high that we can see the waistband of your pants beneath) but generally prefer to wear vests so that I feel more comfy when seated at dinner (leave the bottom button unfastened, please)

 

Someone else posted that they nearly sent their tux back before they had it tailored - same here. I've had pants re-engineered, vents closed (I loathe center-vents) cuffs shortened (one arm is always shorter than the other) and vests taken in. Spending a little time and money at the tailor shop really makes the suit belong to you. (I also do this with vintage blazers that I find in used clothing stores - I really enjoy making something new and unique out of something old)

 

One last thing:

Although I'd never wear one, I love Cowboy Tux's - I think they're kinda HOT!

(Hell, I just love Cowboys!)

;)

[Buddy604]

I also purchased my latest addition, the white dinner jacket - from http://www.buy4lesstuxedo.com/ - along w/ the most amazing set of links and studs from them:

Nice studs!

 

Now, I hate to be controversial on only my second post, but does anyone else cringe at the sight of a wing collar with a black tie? Wing collar are traditionally supposed to be for white tie only and I find the stand-out black band mesmerizingly horrible, like a rabbit regarding a snake.

 

I like the white pique shirt with a hidden-button-down collar for my back tie. I had a local tailor do up a couple custom and he also created some button strips on small lengths of fabric so I convert the shirts from studs to button and use them as standard business wear. Really helps keep the packing down.

 

And while I'm stirring things up, what everyone's thoughts on white dinner jacket vs. tuxedo? My parents were always a bit snobbish and considered the white dinner jacket "too Kennedy" (I kid you not, their exact words), but I prefer it myself on a cruise. Is it best to consider those more of a casual-formal, i.e. good for resort and warm climates, but not the sort of attire for the QM2? Just curious.

 

Mike

 

PS. Pleats are always up - so that you may place your opera ticket stubs in a handy spot, apparently. :)

[thulewx]

I have 3, standard black, black with tails (and top hat and white tie), and white dinner jacket. I don't buy the whole "no white after labor day" thing when in the Caribbean, and enjoy wearing it as it's the most comfortable of the 3. But just to add some fun to it, I wear it with bright blue tie & cumberbund set and matching bright blue suede shoes with blue/gold MontBlanc studs/links, all to match my stunning babyblue eyes :rolleyes: although those nasty red streaks in the eyes often throw the whole ambience off-kilter :eek: , so I always keep some tasteful dark raybans handy to complete the entire "Cause Celébre" effect :cool: .

;)

[Buddy604]

I have 3, standard black, black with tails (and top hat and white tie), and white dinner jacket.

About 10 years ago my now ex-hubby gave me an opera hat for my birthday - you know, those nice silk top hats that fold up and you can pop open with a dramatic shake?

 

Do you often encouter opportunites for your top hat and tails? I think mine has been out of the box twice in 10 years.

[thulewx]

Mine is also one of those pop-up hats - handy for the reduced size in packing. I've worn it a few times on formal nights (twice on the QM2 maiden voyage), but it's best on Halloween as an adjunct to my Monopoly® Uncle Moneybags costume. It was hard to find a good monocle ;) and a nice collapsible walking stick! And for some reason, whenever I'm wearing it, I feel like I'm channeling Tommy Tune and start tap dancing uncontrollably :D . But with my looks, I'm more like the monster in Young Frankenstein "Puttin' On the Ritz!"

[Buddy604]

And for some reason, whenever I'm wearing it, I feel like I'm channeling Tommy Tune and start tap dancing uncontrollably :D . But with my looks, I'm more like the monster in Young Frankenstein "Puttin' On the Ritz!"

"Thuupah Duuupah!"

[thulewx]

"Ahhh, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee...":D