Was Felling Gulit Over Taking Cruise

[PattyMichael]

Hi all, My DH are both in our 50's we have taken many short, 7 day and 10 day cruises. This year we booked a 2 week Best of Western Europe on the Ceuntry in Sept. We are not rich people, but we saved for this trip. This will be the most we have spent on a vacation. I was having guilt fellings over spending the money on a cruise until my brother called last week and told me my sister inlaw has breast cancer. When my dh and I were planning this cruise I told him we can want until 2007. He said no we can't, because we don't know if we will be here next year. Boy was he right. I pray that my sister inlaw will be ok. This was a wake up call for me. Live life now don't put it off. We never know what the future holds. God Bless Patty

[Tricia724]

Patty....you are so right! Over the years I have seen many people plan to travel after they retired and never made it. Opportunity isn't like a merry-go-round that keeps coming by....sometimes it merely winks at you and moves on. I have seen enough health problems in my own family to be aware that anything can happen at any time, so....like you....I'm trying to make the most of today. I've quit accumulating "stuff" and have concentrated on accumulating memories. I figure some day I may be a little old lady in a nursing home, and I think I'd rather remember some beautiful days at sea than have a warehouse full of belongings that are no longer any use to me. I hope you and your husband have the most wonderful cruise ever.

[Bethwte]

I'm sending prayers for your sister and law. I know how hard cancer can be :( I think even before you heard that though, you had no need to feel guilty. Live life to the fullest while you can, you'll always regret not doing so later :)

[bandit0000]

Please send my sincere best wishes to your sister in law. This must be such a frightening time for her.

I sometimes feel guilty when I have booked a cruise, thinking that maybe we really cannot afford it, or we should be spending the money on something more "sensible", but after reading this I am really glad we are travelling now and not waiting to do it in the future.

Regards,

Lisa

[jwick]

Patty,

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister-in-law's health. I think that putting things off until later or until a more convenient time presents itself often results in a person missing out on many great things (I do this way too often myself!). My dad has often told me to live for today, because you never know what tomorrow will bring. I'm slowly learning to apply this lesson to my own life. :)

 

I hope you enjoy a wonderful cruise! Have fun & warmest wishes to your family!

[PattyMichael]

Thanks for your support. Patty

[tangerinebunny]

My 85 year-old in-laws lost their home in New Orleans to Katrina. My

m-i-l's comment? Enjoy life while you can and don't count on tomorrow.

Things don't count for much; good memories do.

[mmp13]

I'm of the same thinking. I work in assisted living and all my residents seem to keep to the same theme...they are so glad they did what they did when they could. My mom died young but without regret as she had a full life. My in-laws are now in their 80's and my mother-in-law tells us to do whatever we can to enjoy life while we can. she and my father in law waited and now he has alsheimers and they can barely leave the house. She has many regrets! Life does not come with a gaurantee!:)

 

Patti, Will pray for your sister in law

[Cam6959]

My thoughts and prayers are for your family Patti. As everyone says do what you can when you can. You don't know what will come. Another way to look at it is when someone has departed this world what will they leave behind? The memories of what they did. Memories are the most important and best legacy anyone can leave behind. It is how you will be remembered. So be remembered for enjoying life!

[SANDY BEACH]

We have had this discussion at our home quite often. We both love to cruise and we are going to do it while we can. Years do slip by very quickly. As of today, our health and mobility is good so we choose to cruise as often as our budget allows. I had a scare right before my Fall cruise regarding medical info. All turned out great; however, it reinforced our thoughts even more. Enjoy each day and each trip. We all need to take time out in this hectic world and appreciate what God has made. Such beauty out there. My favorite creation is, ofcourse, the ocean and palm trees on the beach.

[D&L]

When we took our 2005 cruise we new DH was going to have his cancer-ridden prostate removed about 14 days after getting home. The surgeon urged us to go and not cancel. Glad we did. The CA still hung over us but it was better than sitting at home thinking about it. Now we live from PSA test to PSA test every 6 months (both tests have come back "less than detectable") but continue to cruise and take other vacations. Needless to say, this year's cruise was the best ever!!! Life is too short and everyday from now on will be much more enjoyed in each others company. God willing, DH will live a full life.

[adegner]

Oh I do so understand. My father retired at age 60 and my mother died of cancer 1 month before he retired. They were waiting so much for retirement and then she was gone. My father is now 86 and luckily found a new wife to travel with. Needless to say, they do not hold back. If they want to go somewhere - they just get up and go. I'm still trying to convince them to cruise though.

[emilygrace]

This really hit home for me. A few years ago, right after we had gotten hooked on cruising, we were planning to cruise with my brother at some point. One day the police showed up at my house to tell me that my brother had died in his sleep at the age of 58 (he lived in another town and their police didn't want to tell me by phone). That really woke me up to the fact that life is short, and when they offered an early out where I worked I grabbed it and ran! I, too, am trying to narrow down material possessions and just concentrate on life. And for me, that includes traveling. One thing about cruising, if you establish a cruise wardrobe you can use it over and over because you are with different people each time. So you don't need new clothes all the time and that money can be put toward more traveling.

 

Even after 3 years I think of my brother a lot and he is with me on every cruise, in my heart.

[luckylady1]

My DH had a heart attack on Sept 14, 2004 and triple bypass the next day. They did not expect him to live. Many prayers went up for him and he did live. He was off work for 6 months. We had always wanted to go on a cruise to Alaska and we kept saying "some day". Well we decided that some day was here and we took our first cruist to Alaska a year later. We will be leaving again for Alaska with several family members in June. My Mom is 71 and she is going with us. She has had a lot of health problems and according to doctors she shouldn't be here. My MIL worries about her going on the trip but my Mom says that she would rather die having fun than sitting in a chair at home wishing she had gone.:) I admire my Mother very much.

[peanutter]

Patty, my thoughts are with you and your family and send many well wishes to your SIL.

 

But, here's my delimma, if I can call it that. I understand that life is short - I lost my mom when I was 11 and my dad when I was 25. I'm now 42 and my DH is 51 - no kids. I know life is very precious, but I also know that I have to work to get ready for retirement and not be a bag lady. So we can't really spend everything we want - must stash away in the 401-k, IRA, etc. - and can't take all the vacation I would like. I know moderation is key, but without that crystal ball, it's just hard to guess what will be enough - i.e., how long will I have after retirement and how much money will I need. I guess the trick is to just enjoy each day whether its spent taking a trip to Bermuda or a trip to the grocery store!:)

[BeardedGuy]

When I was a kid, I remembere my Dad telling my Mom "When the kids are out of school..." and "when we retire...", and "when we get the house paid off..." - "we'll travel." He died at 61 from a brain tumor and stroke. My Mom did get to travel to Europe and the other places she wanted to go, but it was without him.

 

I remembered that lesson and when our kids got old enough to stay with Grandparents and/or friends, my wife and I began our travels. We may not have a fancy house or cars, but we pay our bills on a regular basis, save some for retirement, and we have been on many wonderful trips together. We don't regret it a bit!

 

My best to you, and my prayers for your Sister-In-Law.

[mcnyc]

My prayers are with you Patty. I echo the sentiments of the previous posters to live for the day, and live without regrets. I take my parents and uncle on annual trips because I feel they should travel while they're able. Lately, we've been fortunate to go on a cruise each year, where previously my mom only dreamed of cruising but never had enough funds to do so. We'll be cruising for as long as funds hold out, which means we may be cruising every other year in the next few years until my income increases. And I'm 30 and I think like this now!

 

Everyone always talks about waiting until a certain milestone, but then that certain milestone gets thrown away with each person's failing health. I remember sitting in the ICU, many years ago at this point, comforting myself with the fact that at least I had taken my dad to London the year before so that at least he had gone to Europe at least once in his life if anything worse happened as things were so touch and go at that point. I would hate for anyone to go through that ever. Thinking of it still puts a lump in my throat, as I think of all the places my grandmother thought of going, but never did because she always thought she was too sick to travel so far.

 

So, enjoy your life. Cruise happily. Bring back a great souvenir for your SIL. And say a prayer for her well being in each beautiful church at each of your destinations.

[mmp13]

Peanutter,

 

It is not so much about the cruise as it is about enjoying life. Of course you need to plan for retirement so maybe you would rather look at a get away weekend or something. It's about doing something for the 2 of you and enjoying it to the fullest. a day trip or a trip around the world...Make it the best trip ever. Your retirement is not gauranteed. Be responsible but don't live for tommorow. find the balance. and enjoy!!!!!

[SANDY BEACH]

Peanutter,

 

It is not so much about the cruise as it is about enjoying life. Of course you need to plan for retirement so maybe you would rather look at a get away weekend or something. It's about doing something for the 2 of you and enjoying it to the fullest. a day trip or a trip around the world...Make it the best trip ever. Your retirement is not gauranteed. Be responsible but don't live for tommorow. find the balance. and enjoy!!!!!

 

Yes, I think that is the secret to find the balance no matter what our financial situation.

[luv2craft]

My thoughts are with your SIL and your family.

I do, agree, wholeheartedly witht the idea of enjoying today because tomorrow may never come.

 

When I was 16, (now 31), My aunt wanted my family to go to Disney World with her and her family. My father said we didn't have the money...etc...My mother convinced him that we should do what we had to go. We went and had the best vacation we can all recall to date! My dad died 5 months later, unexpectantly, at the age of 48. What if we had waited untill "next year"? We would never have one of the best family memories with my dad.

 

 

Anyhow, don't ever feel guilty about enjoying life! We do only get one chance at it.

 

Enjoy your trip, you deserve to!

 

Kerry

[julieanne]

Sensible, shmensible! If you saved for it, do it! We never know what may be around that corner......My sister had breast cancer 5 years ago, my father, prostate.....They both made it. My sister takes every cruise she can and we do the same! Never, ever feel guilty! Think about all those people mentioned above who never got the chance, it was always "tomorrow".......My heart goes out to you and my prayers are with you and your family.

[PattyMichael]

My sister-inlaw surgery went great. She will have 6 to 7 months kemo and hopefully she will be in the clear. We are making plans for our 9/2 13 days on the Century. Getting to know our fellow roll call CC. Setting up tours and meeting places. What fun. Life is wonderful. Thank You all for you support. God Bless Patty

[mcnyc]

So happy to hear things went great and will be well for the future. :)

 

You deserve your break. Again, definitely hit the churches to say a prayer for your SIL. It'll double as a great way to see some of the best artwork in Europe.

 

Life is wonderful, which is why you have to enjoy it when you can. Just make sure there's always enough for the tomorrows in life.

[GramaFran]

Patty:

We will talk on the cruise as my sister in law beat breast cancer 2 times and is 5 years clean now - let me tell you she enjoys life to the fullest now.

She retired and watches her granddaught 4 days a week and grandson 2days.

If there are trips she wants to take with girlfriends or husband off they go.

Best of luck to your SIL and I hope everything turns out ok.

We cruise and travel when we can and save all year for the priviledge.

Francine

[PattyMichael]

Hi Fran, Thanks, I am really looking forward to meeting you in Amsterdam and on board. What a wounderful message board for people who love to cruise and meet. See you in 4 months on the Century, I hear the ship is going to look great. Patty