Taking a foster child

[stacyinpa]

I have a question I thought Id throw your way. I am sure someone will not like the fact that I am asking about a 9 month old, but here goes:

 

We were just given a almost 3 month old foster child. This baby boy will be 9 months when we sail in December. He means the world to our family and we would never consider leaving him home while we vacationed for Christmas. He IS part of our family.

 

I guess I am going to have to get a passport for him (we are just getting ours). Since his last name is different them ours, are we going to go thru alot trying to board? Of course we will have his birth certificate, the letter from Children/Youth....whatever they give us I will bring. Do any of you have experience with this? I am sure foster parents have cruised with their children.

 

I should also add I am not a new 'mommy', we have 2 dd 17 and 12. We know what to do if our foster baby crys while we are watching a show. We are not ignorant to other cruisers to let him cry and carry on. We are also 'smart' parents who make sure we take enough supplys and goodies for him. We will make sure he has what he needs.

 

I just can not imagine leaving him home in respite care while we vacation. That is NOT what we set out to do when we became foster parents. He is MY son and we love him to pieces. This also hinges on the fact that he isnt returned home or to another member of his family by December, so I still must plan accordingly. They tell us 'long term' - whatever that means to them?

 

It is such a sad case. Without going into details, we are spoiling him like crazy. He is a good baby despite what he has been thru. He is 'happy go lucky'.

 

So do any of you have experience with the name difference and/or taking a little guy like him onboard. My youngest dd is 12 and getting this little guy was like starting over but he surely didnt alter our life. We still do what we did...just a bit more planning and preparing.

 

I appreciate your kind replys.

Thank You,

Stacy

[morriscats]

What a lucky child - my DH and I raised my younger sisters 3 girls (she was drug and alcohol addicted) and when he was killed in an auto accident I decided to take all of us on a vacation. My own grown children, 2 grandchildren and my 3 special girls. The Social Worker went to Court and got the necessary paperwork and I had their birth certs. Since you are going in December the BC will be OK - I don't know what is involved in getting a passport for a foster child. I was advised by my girls therapist not to take 1 of the girls as she had many problems but I could not go and leave her. We all had a great time and we created memories to last a lifetime. Have fun.

[Bluenose Sandy]

I hate to tell you this, but you could be facing a real bureaucratic nightmare over this. You may need a notarized letter from the parents who are listed on the BC (obviously not likely to be forthcoming) giving permission for him to travel. Maybe you could substitute a similar letter signed by social services, giving you permission to take him out of the country for this specific trip. But that might mean they have to get a judge to sign it... don't know. What does your letter from social services say now... does it give you guardianship powers (like can you make medical decisions, move your family's residence taking him with you, and most usefully, travel with him without notifying the office)? The more specific the letter is about your authority to act for him, the better your situation.

 

I so agree that you can't leave him out of this vacation! But it might make things easier if you didn't leave the country.

[renata102]

I just resigned from Div Of youth and Family Services in NJ (DYFS)as a child abuse investigator.

I honestly think you won't be able to take the child out of country. Too many hurdles. Even taking him/her out of state is VERY difficult. You have to contact the case worker immediatly and tell them your plans. The district attorney general can than ASK the judge if he can grant the permission to take child out of country (which I doubt).

Methinks, this child will be placed in another home while you are on vacation OR if you have a close family friend or member that you TRUST and has no criminal background history AT ALL, you may be able to leave him/her with them.. BUT again I stress contact the case worker TODAY! tell me how it goes.

I had a similar experience. Had a foster family that tooka family vacation once a year to upstate New York ( and we were in Jersey). WOW, we went through so much to get permission. to go a hunderd miles.

Keep me updated

[kitty9]

I was a teacher in a large urban district and I had many foster kids in my classroom. Knowing what I do about the system, it will be very difficult, if not impossible, to take such a young foster child out of the country. DFS--department of family services-- is really, really picky about things like that. It's going to take a court order, and tons of paperwork just to get things rolling. Unless parental rights have been completely terminated by the courts, you will have to get notorized signed permission from both biological parents, and then you need the permission from DFS and the court system. My TA and his wife have had many foster babies, and he's never been allowed to take any of them out of the country for cruises.

 

I wish you good luck and be prepared for a lot of hassles.

[prairie_fox]

I was a teacher in a large urban district and I had many foster kids in my classroom. Knowing what I do about the system, it will be very difficult, if not impossible, to take such a young foster child out of the country. DFS--department of family services-- is really, really picky about things like that. It's going to take a court order, and tons of paperwork just to get things rolling. Unless parental rights have been completely terminated by the courts, you will have to get notorized signed permission from both biological parents, and then you need the permission from DFS and the court system. My TA and his wife have had many foster babies, and he's never been allowed to take any of them out of the country for cruises.

 

I wish you good luck and be prepared for a lot of hassles.

 

and also Bluenose Sandy have very good points here. You do need that letter to leave anyplace outside the country with a child who is not yours by birth and you are not the parents of via adoption. You will have a very hard time getting a parent to do that with a child who is taken from them. I do wish you best of luck in this. In the years I worked in an Agency we never had anyone get the letter from a parent. I wish you best of luck in this and hope for the child you can get the letter and take them.

[cherylandtk]

My now niece was 9 months and undergoing the adoption process while on her first cruise. It required the judge's approval and the Family Services/social worker approval for her to leave the state and country with her parents (legal guardians at the time); the birth parents had already voluntarily relinquished all rights, but the full adoption had not been completed.

[renata102]

My now niece was 9 months and undergoing the adoption process while on her first cruise. It required the judge's approval and the Family Services/social worker approval for her to leave the state and country with her parents (legal guardians at the time); the birth parents had already voluntarily relinquished all rights, but the full adoption had not been completed.

 

see that is a little different situation, becuase parental rights were being terminated, and probably the birth parent was signing off on those things and the judge saw that the final termination was near.

I doubt you are going to take this child with you.:(

[kimegge]

I hate to also tell you this, just like the others, but I am having problems trying to get my son on the cruise also. I haven't heard word from his father in over 6 years and the passport people say that I have to have his permission to take him out of the country. I don't know what I am going to do and I am his natural mother. So if anyone has ever gone through this please let me know also how to get around this since I don't know where his father is. He doesn't even pay me child support and they can not locate him either.

 

So advice to you trying to get a foster child on board.....GOOD LUCK! Not trying to be mean, just letting you know.

 

Hopefully child services will let you go.

 

Kim

[wrp96]

I hate to also tell you this, just like the others, but I am having problems trying to get my son on the cruise also. I haven't heard word from his father in over 6 years and the passport people say that I have to have his permission to take him out of the country. I don't know what I am going to do and I am his natural mother. So if anyone has ever gone through this please let me know also how to get around this since I don't know where his father is. He doesn't even pay me child support and they can not locate him either.

 

So advice to you trying to get a foster child on board.....GOOD LUCK! Not trying to be mean, just letting you know.

 

Hopefully child services will let you go.

 

Kim

 

Do you have papers granting you full custody? I'm guessing not but if you do that is what you can provide as proof. Try getting notarized statements from those around you, that the father has abandoned the child. You may even want to see a lawyer about what to do.

[kimegge]

I am going to have to send off for my divorce papers because I can't find them. I moved three years ago and have no clue where I put them. I have a filing cabinet finally....lol, but no divorce papers. I know they are here somewhere but it will take less time to order them....lol. I heard that if I am the conservator I can take him without the fathers signature, so hopefully that's what I am. I am pretty sure I am though because I found my rough draft a couple of hours ago and that's what it says. So hopefully it's true about what a friend of mine told me about the sole conservatorship.

 

Kim

 

Thanks for advice, I just might have to find a lawyer.