Need Guidance - How Do I Get Our Hormonal (young) Teen to Get Excited About A Cruise

[MississippiMom]

You know that RCCL commercial where the teenager gets caught on tape smiling on the family vacation, but most of the time she looks grumpy? Well, every single time that I see it, it makes me think of our thirteen-year-old.

 

Today, we sat down and watched the Disney Cruise Line DVD. We are (fingers crossed) planning on a 2008 vacation with them, either at Spring Break time or in the Summer (provided they are in the Caribbean and not in Europe). That not only gives us time to save up the big dollars for the trip, but it will allow the oldest child to be able to fully participate in the "teen" activities and allow for the two younger children to both still be in the 5 to 7 age group, together. The oldest didn't crack a smile the entire time she watched the DVD. I wasn't even sure if she was interested in it as a vacation destination, until the very end when she made the comment that she wouldn't have to spend ALL of her time with her two little sisters, because she could do "teen only" things.

 

I am not expecting excitement 24/7, but I don't want to waste our money either, if the vacation is going to be more of a headache than a joy. I know it is "Disney," but she wasn't complaining about that aspect, at all. She is just so moody, and started whining about the DVD being "boring" (her favorite word), that I wanted to tell her that she can stay here and we'll just take her little sisters, without her. (Of course, we aren't planning on that, but I'd like to threaten it!)

[jamandamn14]

Im not sure if I can plug it but what the hey, http://www.cruisemates.com has a teen only message board as cruise critic should but it doesnt. If they go on this board there are great storys and chats about cruising. Also tell them about all the wicked stuff your ship will have on it, and make them go on the first night and force them to make friends:p

[MississippiMom]

Im not sure if I can plug it but what the hey, . . .

 

I don't know if you can "plug it" either, but I've bookmarked the link you passed on. Thanks!! I think that is a perfect solution for us.

[MississippiMom]

Im not sure if I can plug it but what the hey, . . .

 

I don't know if you can "plug it" either, but I've bookmarked the link you passed on. Thanks!! I think that is a perfect solution for us.

[Quilting_Cruiser]

I can relate! Our older DD was 16 when she went on her first cruise. She showed only mild interest in going and acted bored the entire cruise. As we started planning this cruise (she's 20 now and this will be her second) she said the last Caribbean cruise was her best vacation ever! I told her I was surprised because she seemed so bored on the cruise, and she said, "Well, I was a teenager--I didn't want you and Dad to think you'd done anything cool for me!"

 

Good grief! :rolleyes: At least I know now that she actually did enjoy it! She's very enthusiastic about this one. :D

 

So, I don't have any advice for you other than to roll with it, but wanted you to know you're not alone! I'll bet if you did threaten to leave her home she'd show you a couple of seconds of "enthusiasm" for the cruise! LOL

 

Cheers!

Jayne

[jamandamn14]

That is often a problem, this is mentioned on the fore mentioned website that many kids dont tell there parents how much fun they are having on the cruise, and I bet even saying it is a cool holiday would please the parents

[Darcy03231]

Don't worry - we travel with teens all the time and I can really relate to that ad too! I've discovered its really uncool for them to let their parents know they're having a good time. I only know that they've had fun because when I hear them talk to their friends they are really excited about it. She'll have a blast. Make sure she goes to the meet and greet on the first night.

[KAWS]

And remember, she'll be older by then so perhaps the moody 13 yr. old will turn into a happier 15 yr. old.

 

We're taking our (will be) 17 yr. old next March. Just had to tell him that there would be tons of 16 yr. old girls on the ship and he was in! LOL Actually all he wanted to be reassured of was there would be lots of activities for teens to do and that he wouldn't get stuck with all the younger 12 and 13 year olds. Carnival breaks their teens into two groups so he'll be with the 15-17 yr. olds and that was just fine with him. He's pumped.

 

Kim

[KAWS]

And remember, she'll be older by then so perhaps the moody 13 yr. old will turn into a happier 15 yr. old.

 

We're taking our (will be) 17 yr. old next March. Just had to tell him that there would be tons of 16 yr. old girls on the ship and he was in! LOL Actually all he wanted to be reassured of was there would be lots of activities for teens to do and that he wouldn't get stuck with all the younger 12 and 13 year olds. Carnival breaks their teens into two groups so he'll be with the 15-17 yr. olds and that was just fine with him. He's pumped.

 

Kim

[Dawniepoo]

I am NOT looking forward to those teenage years with my boys, yet I know there is nothing I can do about it. All teens go through that stage. I remember my teenage years and thinking my mom didn't know anything!:o

[Luvsdaislands]

Find out what ports the ship will be visiting and get as much information as possible and include ALL your children in the process. Find out things that might be appealing to the teen, maybe let her choose an excursion.

Both of my sons are excited, even the soon to be 16 that never shows emotion. They are excited because this will be their first time on a plane, first time to Florida and the biggie....... first time OUT OF THE COUNTRY!!!! I was trying to include a visit to Orlando to Universal (they both said they were too old for Disney)...if I could just hit the Powerball!!!

[Luvsdaislands]

Oh one more piece of advice....go to webshots.com and do a search for Disney Cruise, share those photos with your teen. I don't know what their daily newsletter is called...I know Carnival is Capers...but find out what their newsletter is called and search that also on webshots. I found over 4,000 photos of the Carnival Liberty and also found the Camp Carnival and O2 newsletters.

OR you could just try a shorter cruise on a cheaper cruise company just to test the waters and get her feet wet.

Luvsdaislands

[RHefley228]

And remember, she'll be older by then so perhaps the moody 13 yr. old will turn into a happier 15 yr. old.

 

Good point. You may discover that she's developed an entirely new personality by then. My children did, and in their mid-thirties they now find my frustration at the time a source of gentle humor. (My late mother told me I was worse at the same age, and I can't wait for their children to become teens.) Ideally, she'll meet other teens on board that she wants to hang with (though that may present other problems for you). If she doesn't, you could be in for a very, very long week...

[fnelson99]

I teach high school English, and believe me I get lots of boring stares and am all too familiar with teens claiming boredom. HOWEVER, much of it is for show and somehow things being fun when they are adult planned is just not cool even when it is fun. Based on my experiences here are my suggestions:

 

1. Remember, to her 2008 is forever away and not a tangible thing right now

 

2. Don't take it personal; it is very common and probably MANY other parents will share in your pain

 

3. I wouldn't push the matter, even when it gets close. The teen brain is waivering in between independence and dependence and the teen programs on a cruise ship provide a nice safe place to be "independent."

 

4. Plan the cruise and remember how much she will mature and grow over the next two years. You may be surprised about the nice change.

 

5. Have the time of your life and no matter what DO NOT let her attitude affect the rest of the family!!!! If she really wants to have a poopy time she will and not even you can stop her.

[hollywood34711]

I totally understand! We are contemplating another Disney Cruise with my 13 and 16 year olds. Last time, they were 9 and 12. This time we are trying to get another couple of their friend's families to go along too to make it more fun for them. It seems their friends are very important to them at this age, and they seem to tolerate anything if their buds are around, so we figure if they are enjoying themselves, we will too!

 

Not to say they had a bad time last time, in fact as we have started to talk about another Disney cruise, they have started to recall things about our first experience on the Wonder that I had totally forgotten. My son thought going to the theater at midnight the night Haunted Mansion premiered, was pretty memoroble. He is the one that finds everything,except skateboarding, "Boring". We did Carnival two years ago, enjoyed the ports, but are probably going back to Disney.

 

Disney Wonder....November 03

Carnival Fascination....January 05

 

Holly

[MississippiMom]

If it's not one thing, it is another!! Last night, my DH picked up the DCL brochure and started reading it out loud to our oldest. It immediately peaked her interest, which really surprised me. Her excitement was quickly clouded by her new issue. She is scared of being on a ship. We tried to releive her fears, but, of course, we don't know anything. :rolleyes:

 

First, she was worried that the ship would sink. In all fairness, she might have seen the recent Princess incident and been a bit concerned, so we talked about the safety features on the ship. Then, she was worried that pirates would attack the ship. (Maybe we shouldn't have let her see the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie at a recent slumber party.) My DH talked to her about how close the Bahamas and the Caribbean are to the U.S. and about the Coast Guard. So, of course, she had to try again, and she was worried that we would hit an iceberg, like the Titanic. Of course, our first thought is what an injustice her mother (this child is from my husband's first marriage) did by pulling her out of a good private school to a questionable public school. We then had to explain that icebergs aren't in the Caribbean, or anywhere off of Florida. She then told us that the ship would crash into a coral reef.

 

At this point, I was laughing inside, and tempted to tell her that she flies on airplanes all of the time and doesn't seem to have a problem with that concept, and they crash more often than cruise ships. (But, hey, she has to get on a plane in a couple of weeks and I didn't want to jinx that.) My DH was very patient with her and explained to her what our experiences had been on cruise ships, but she still isn't sold on the idea.

 

All I can say is that as soon as 2008 bookings are released by DCL, I'm reserving two connecting cabins, and if I have to drug the kid to get her on the ship, I will. (Certainly I can get some sort of calming medication from the pediatrician.)

[SLH]

You know that RCCL commercial where the teenager gets caught on tape smiling on the family vacation, but most of the time she looks grumpy? Well, every single time that I see it, it makes me think of our thirteen-year-old.

 

Today, we sat down and watched the Disney Cruise Line DVD. We are (fingers crossed) planning on a 2008 vacation with them, either at Spring Break time or in the Summer (provided they are in the Caribbean and not in Europe). That not only gives us time to save up the big dollars for the trip, but it will allow the oldest child to be able to fully participate in the "teen" activities and allow for the two younger children to both still be in the 5 to 7 age group, together. The oldest didn't crack a smile the entire time she watched the DVD. I wasn't even sure if she was interested in it as a vacation destination, until the very end when she made the comment that she wouldn't have to spend ALL of her time with her two little sisters, because she could do "teen only" things.

 

I am not expecting excitement 24/7, but I don't want to waste our money either, if the vacation is going to be more of a headache than a joy. I know it is "Disney," but she wasn't complaining about that aspect, at all. She is just so moody, and started whining about the DVD being "boring" (her favorite word), that I wanted to tell her that she can stay here and we'll just take her little sisters, without her. (Of course, we aren't planning on that, but I'd like to threaten it!)

I have the opposite with my 12yr.old.I took her last year for a 4 night (her first cruise) and she was counting the days until the next one (Feb. '06). We do RCCI so she got very excited about all of the activities especially the climbing wall. Tell her how she will be treated like a princess when she is in the dining room. Also, if you are not going until 2008 she might not be able to get excited about something so far away.

[tsj]

Our daughters (12&14) love to cruise, love the kids programs and meeting other kids on board! That said I did have to nudge them to get involved in the kids programs on our first cruise, now I have to set limits on the time they spend in the teen club! Make sure she visits the teen center early on the staff in the center are good at helping the kids get involved! On our last 2 cruises I have joined the rollcall for our sailing here on CC and as a result have chatted with famlies sailing with us, it has helped my girls to get to know some of the other kids a bit better. Prior to our last cruise I was chatting with a couple with a daughter the same age as ours, the girls emailed a bit before we cruised and truly hit it off! They became such good friends we all met up

at a resort for the 4th of July holiday and are looking to plan a December trip for the girls. Sorry to be so lengthy, I'm sure that you and your family will find that cruising is an incredible way to vacation together, enjoy.

[sviramo]

We have cruised Disney several times and the teens there seem to be having an incredible time. We ended up at a table with a family with two teens and a 12 yo. Those three kids were having the times of these lives and were exhausted at each dinner they made it to. There is another board dedicated directly to Disney stuff called Disboards that I found extremely helpful in getting the information suggested above.

[ahl]

Hi,

We'll be going on Carnival Miracle soon with our dd (15). I've read many posts from adults and teens alike about how teens her age should go to the 15-17 y.o. welcome aboard get-together the first night out, no matter how "lame" they think it will be. Our dd is, like many, skeptical of the first night party and thinks she will not get to know anyone on the cruise. Actually, I think she is more afraid that if she does go to the "meet and greet" she will be rejected by the teens there, in the same way groups at school reject people. (She's a very regular girl and gets along with almost everyone once she gets to know them. She's not a "princess" or "girly-girl" type.) Any advice?

 

Also, as a rule, do parents also go or not go to the 15-17 y.o. welcomes? (To meet the teen cruise director, etc.) I realize that teens would be embarassed for their parents to appear, but I wondered if they actually do.

[carol31j]

My husband and I had gone on a Disney Cruise with our children and grandkids. The 15-year-old was sulky the first night, until he realized there were other kids his age on board! There were so many organized teen activities that we barely saw him at all. There was even a "bar" for the teens with non-alcoholic drinks. The teens had a blast "hanging out" for the whole cruise. And, once our grandson saw there were computers in the The Stack, he was sold.

 

It just takes some time for teens to realize that there’s something for them as well in it.

 

Read about our experiences at http://www.on-a-cruise.com

[Onessa]

Also, as a rule, do parents also go or not go to the 15-17 y.o. welcomes? (To meet the teen cruise director, etc.) I realize that teens would be embarassed for their parents to appear, but I wondered if they actually do.

 

At that age generally no - one of you can walk with her and maybe stick your head inside to "make sure it is the right time and place", but beyond that you are treading on thin ice! :D

 

You should talk to the teen counselors (preferably hook up with them before the welcome session). Share her concerns with them (of course don't let her know that you are doing this!).

 

Most of the lines have some really great counselors - who will work hard to bring some kids together.

 

Assure your daughter that many of the other kids will have come alone and will not know anyone else either. By the end of the cruise she'll know way more people than you do!

[Onessa]

". . . She is just so moody, and started whining about the DVD being "boring" (her favorite word), that I wanted to tell her that she can stay here and we'll just take her little sisters, without her. (Of course, we aren't planning on that, but I'd like to threaten it!)"

 

Probably threatening to leave her home WITH her two little sisters would be a more intimidating threat:D

 

Or threaten to do all of her packing for her if she doesn't shape up :D

 

Actually the best thing to do is to go and have a great time - you and the rest of your family plan and do what you want to do. Don't make her join you and she might just surprise you. When she sees everyone else can have a good time with out her (or despite her), she may just get the message that life is what she chooses to make of it.

 

Good luck - have fun!

[raina*faith]

I've peeped at this thread once or twice and never really read the responses.....I am cruising with 2 teen aged girls too. Our cruise is in October and we planned it in July of 2005. So, when I first told them about it they were like yeah-ok. Then in February we had another family meeting about the cruise and that our family was all going, and still they were like WHATEVER!

Then came August - we now have 2 months to go. They are so excited! We had another family meeting and I said the exact same thing, but we need to pick out excursions now, and they were like "wow" we're going to do all that? They even accused me of not telling them that they were going to have room service and a teen club. I also showed them pictures of the ship and where their room will be. (all In February -now that it's almost cruise time, they are excited)

So, go figure!! Teens............