Acceptable Behavior

[HighSeas77]

Having just returned from a cruise onboard the Oosterdam, I thought the topic of acceptable behavior towards working personnel and fellow cruisers should be mentioned.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have seem many disgraceful displays by the cruising public over the years....directed in most cases towards the crew, and other cruisers. My last cruise on the Oosterdam proved no exception.

The following is directed at those long time cruisers and to those considering their first cruise:

We all work very hard for the money that is paying for our vacations...in this case, our cruising vacations. We all take a certain amount of grief in our respective work places and use our vacations to escape that grief, if only for a short period of time. Vacations will never be 100% perfect, there will always be something that is not to your liking. There may be other cruisers that get on your nerves....everybody is different. Cruise ships are machines...they can break down. The weather may not be what you were expecting.

What I'm trying to say is this: If you have a problem, bring it up to the appropriate personnel onboard. Be polite, calm and treat that person with the respect you would expect yourself. That respect will have your problem solved quicker than raising your voice or a sharp and disrespectful tongue. Say please and thank you....remember you manners. Respect your fellow cruisers. If someone sneaks in line, let it go. Do not take your life's frustrations out on the people around you...you are after all on vacation.

I thought it especially important to bring this topic up over the holidays...but it applies equally throughout the year.

Don't forget your manners.....thank those that make your vacation. You'll feel better for doing it, and make that persons day.

Tell your friends.

Happy cruising, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

[IKE]

I agree with you 100% "High Seas". Today "Manners" seem to be a way of the past. See it in all walks of life. Children especially today are lacking in manners as well. Its not their fault. The parents donot for whatever reason, instill manners in them. Not all children or all adults lack manners. I like you have seen many nasty displays on the Cruisehips to the personnel. It is totalling uncalled for. Some passengers look down on these people as if they were their servants. I feel it was a good point you made to make people aware of common courtesy to their fellowman. We are all busy, have problems, just tired or worn out, frustrated but should not forget to show respect to others. You also have a very "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year"!

[u4ea]

Testify brother Highseas!

We’re with you!

You can’t listen to all that doom and gloom, we’ve got to think positive and hang tough.

Mark….

[jeffs55]

These people that work on the ships work so hard, much harder than I'd be willing to. I so respect and appreciate them.

And it's certainly not just young people, when we were on the QM2 there was

this gaggle of older women who were constantly complaining and berating the staff, making everyone around them miserable.

One day there was some special sale at one of the shops, and we were trying to make our way around the 2nd flloor of the atrium where the shops are, which is kind of too narrow for the traffic.

Here come these four older women charging at us with their heads

down like linebackers. I got my Mom behind me and just stood still as far to my right as I could so they could pass but this on woman crashes in to me (I'm 6'1", 200 lbs), bounces off of me and looks up with this glare as if to say "What do you think you're doing, getting in my way like that?"

They just seemed to be determined to be unhappy the whole time, which just seems like a lot of work when one is getting such great service day after

day from these wonderful crews.

[kakalina]

Truer words were never spoken ( or written ). I have seen some terrible breaches of manners, common sense and plain old fashioned meanness. I have also seen some marvelous acts of kindness, helpfullness and good natured friendship.

[Krazy Kruizers]

Having grown up in a society where manners were very important, I do have a problem with some of the people on some of the ship.

 

Don't get me started.

[Amber14]

I totally agree with everyone - and it just doesn't happen on a ship, it's everywhere. People need to treat each other with kindness and respect. I have seen this kind of rude, "you owe me" behavior in stores, restaurants, hotels, etc. I have also seen it in the children of these adults also! Children learn what they see! It's sad. :(

[GmaPajama]

I've found a great way to throw the "miserable no matter what" people off balance is to respond with my biggest smile and a cheerful comment about something. It's even possible to get a smile back every now and then. Perhaps I'm a bit passive-aggressive in those situations, but I get a great deal of pleasure by surprising those people with kindness. Sometimes, they simply don't know what to do. I love it! :)

[NoNoNanette]

I've found a great way to throw the "miserable no matter what" people off balance is to respond with my biggest smile and a cheerful comment about something.

 

Your post gave me a huge smile! :D

 

Mom always taught me to "kill 'em with kindness!" It's SO EASY to SMILE! :)

[Navy_Chief]

I bet that those folks that complain about everythng never get their pictures from the photo gallery. I wonder if those pictures wind up on the crew's dart board :D

[u4ea]

More likely toilet paper :eek:

[constructiondude]

I was lucky in that my first cruise on the Westerdam was a fine group of people; I didn't witness any rude behavior.

 

I've actually done a lot of cringing in this forum though. Everytime I read "live ship reports" loaded with complaints directed at HAL, particularly the Oosterdam's recent azipod and ac troubles, I can only pray that the anger evident in their messages isn't being taken out on the ship's crew-like they purposely broke the air conditioning (causing just as much discomfort for themselves) just to ruin your cruise.

 

Like Highseas77 pointed out, these ships are operating for about 350 days out of the year or every day of the year if there is no drydock planned....with this much use, machines will break down, carpeting gets frayed, rips occur in chairs, scratches appear in elevator doors....and it will all get addressed in due time....its not a bus....they can't just pull over and immediately take that ripped chair off the ship and replace it as one poster seemed to expect.

 

I know the crew does what they can to repair the ship while its at sea but not all parts and materials will be readily available. But think of what does get done every day: all that laundry, all those dishes....and everywhere I looked something was always being cleaned, I even saw a maintenance man repairing a rip in the wallpaper off the shopping promenade.

 

I'm glad Highseas77 started this thread because my frustration has been building for a couple of weeks but I couldn't figure out a diplomatic way of expressing it.

[BumperII]

There will always be that ten percent that just doesn't get the message. Mistakes and problems occur in every walk of life; that is why we hire people to make corrections as necessary. It has been our experience so far that every request has been addressed promptly and cheerfully.

HAL hires very capable, high quality people. There is neither reason nor excuse for treating these folks with disrespect, it just puts them on the defensive, and instead of addressing the problem, they wind up scrambling for excuses. All one has to do on HAL is use a little courtesy and they will literally give you the whole dam ship.:D

[Chelsea_mom]

One of my personal rules when I start to get really upset with someone who is providing service is to take a mental step back, and ask myself if this person personally caused the problem. Almost everytime the answer is, "No, they didn't." At that point I take a deep breath, calm myself down as much as possible, and say, "I know that this isn't your fault, and I'm not really upset with you. However I am very frustrated with the situation, can you please help me solve it?" It's amazing how often that will change an unhelpful service person's attitude from, "There is nothing that can be done" to "Let me see if there is anything that can be done."

[willowoodf]

On a recent cruise I was in the Neptune lounge and a passenger called the concierge and started really yelling at her because the ship's television system didn't carry the channel his favorite football team was on. That poor concierge apologied profusely several times but couldn't seem to make him understand it wasn't HER fault, there was nothing SHE could do. He finally insisted on speaking with her supervisor, she put him through, but somehow I doubt he was going to get much satisfaction there, either. I really felt for that poor girl, I could tell she was very upset, but she was quite polite through the whole passenger tirade (which lasted several minutes).

 

Mary

[babyher]

Anyone who works with the public on a day to day basis ( I am going on 28 years in one capacity or another) knows they can be "challengeing" to say the least.

 

Most people are very polite and respectful. Some are a real delight. And some Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr *LOL*

 

I usually take the "stinkers" with a grain of salt, even try to "kill'em with kindness" as Nanette said.

 

Sorry but I will never tolerate anyone using foul or degradeing language to me , no matter what their beef is. Especially if it is something I was not responsible for, or have any control over.

 

I will never stoop to their level and use their language , but I will make my point clearly and as nicely as posible.

 

You really do catch more flies with honey , than vinegar

[vanrhyn]

As a working member of the hospitality industry (Night desk clerk in a medium-small hotel 17 years of service) I have seen this happen time and time again. I firmly believe that some people of general public, try thier darnest to find something wrong, no matter how little it is. They then complain at the time of day when it is impossible to have the problem recified immediately as they wanted it fixed yesterday. I think that these people feel if they make a big enough stink about it they will either get a sizeable reduction in thier room rate or even their stay for nothing as the hotel will try to please them.

 

Rod:eek:

[JDRMYS]

Some passengers look down on these people as if they were their servants.

 

People should never look down on their servants either. Servants do jobs that their employers don't want to do themselves. The service personel on a cruise ship actually are our servants while we are on vacation. They are doing things for us that we would rather not do while we enjoy our vacations. They should always be treated politely and with respect. Being rude to anyone is never acceptable.

[SoCal Cruiser78]

I was lucky in that my first cruise on the Westerdam was a fine group of people; I didn't witness any rude behavior.

 

I've actually done a lot of cringing in this forum though. Everytime I read "live ship reports" loaded with complaints directed at HAL, particularly the Oosterdam's recent azipod and ac troubles, I can only pray that the anger evident in their messages isn't being taken out on the ship's crew-like they purposely broke the air conditioning (causing just as much discomfort for themselves) just to ruin your cruise.

 

Like Highseas77 pointed out, these ships are operating for about 350 days out of the year or every day of the year if there is no drydock planned....with this much use, machines will break down, carpeting gets frayed, rips occur in chairs, scratches appear in elevator doors....and it will all get addressed in due time....its not a bus....they can't just pull over and immediately take that ripped chair off the ship and replace it as one poster seemed to expect.

 

I know the crew does what they can to repair the ship while its at sea but not all parts and materials will be readily available. But think of what does get done every day: all that laundry, all those dishes....and everywhere I looked something was always being cleaned, I even saw a maintenance man repairing a rip in the wallpaper off the shopping promenade.

 

I'm glad Highseas77 started this thread because my frustration has been building for a couple of weeks but I couldn't figure out a diplomatic way of expressing it.

 

Well said, constuctiondude! I think some of the bad behavior is from those who never learned good manners, but some may be from those of us who were taught good manners, and like Highseas77 mentioned, work hard for our money. And may expect too much.

 

We arrive onboard burned out from work and frazzled from the flights that got us to the port. We hope for the perfect vacation and when things go wrong some of us forget our manners and take it out on those who are doing their best to make things right.

 

But this works both ways. One reason I plan to continue sailing with HAL is how gracefully I've witnessed rank-and-file as well as officers handle difficult situations with passengers.

 

One reason I am in no hurry to sail on X again is that I've witnessed rude behavior by both rank-and-file as well as officers towards pax and other staff. Their ships are beautiful and their CDs are excellent, but I choose to spend my hard-earned dollars on a line that seems to appreciate my business. I've always been greeted by HAL officers when passing in a corridor, for example. I never once had a "good morning or good evening" replied to by an officer on X.

 

Just my opinion; your mileage may vary.

[Seago2]

Okay, this will probably jinx me, but... I have only witnessed one act of "frustration" by a passenger- and as you can see, I've been on everything from Cunard to Carnival. This guy wanted to get 13 people in his party on one tender, and the tendering process was completely haywire. People who got there first actually ended up being last because they were sitting down. This poor Romanian dancer was in charge. But he was still pretty calm and polite about it (the passenger, I mean. The dancer was turning pale and shaking.). Entire episode of confusion: twenty minutes, max. I have never seen- ever- a passenger be rude to a staff member, to me or my kids, or to another passenger. Run of luck, I guess!

 

When I cruised out of NYC this spring I thought "uh oh, here it comes, a ship full of New Yorkers..." Turned out to be a ship full of international pax and Atlantic Seabord residents. Totally well mannered and very nice. the New Yorkers on board (don't hit me- I'm from New York!) were all fantastic. Now I didn't bunk in the security command center so of course I couldn't see the entire ship... just my experience.

 

Treading lightly here... could it be that because HAL caters to an older demographic, the pax are a little more... crabby? But then, so does Cunard. But then again, the QE2 less so than the QM2, I would think.

 

U4EA, your eye freaks me out! I can't read your posts because I just scroll past that eye. It scares me! Sorry- don't mean to complain :).

[Sea King]

tactfully put HighSeas:)

 

totally agree with your comments

 

IMO however we should all try to remember that the person on land suddenly doesn't change just because he/she has crossed a gangway

 

a rude, obnoxious and quite frankly disgusting person ashore will still be the same rude, obnoxious and disgusting person on board

 

a Pax who snaps fingers at a waitstaff person and treats that individual like an indentured servant will do the same at home

 

someone who complains to the concierge about the selection of a football game (and don't leave out the golfers) is the same person who will cause a scene at a local bar if his game isn't the one being broadcast ..

 

don't agree with the Poster who mentioned smiling through it all .. sorry, just can't bring myself to smile and be nice to a total moron who's causing my blood pressure to rise

 

I just walk away .. that's one of the advantages of the Vista Class over the S class .. 30,000 more tons affords you many more places to try to escape to .. you just have to hope you're not followed:rolleyes:

[u4ea]

This is interesting because the discussion is now leaning toward how we (the good people) react to the bad people. Of course, it depends on the situation. The power of a situation cannot be understated. It seems some of the options are

Kill them with kindness

Turn the other cheek/love your enemy

Do nothing, say nothing/let them reap what they sow

Smile and be cordial (this may be required to keep one’s job)

Physically walk away or get away

Say something tactful about their behavior (may escalate)

Say something blunt about their behavior (usually escalates)

Report them

Teach them a lesson and beat the s**t out of them (usually a bad idea)

 

Feel free to add any more. Also mentioned were the children. Yes, it is very sad as they are the malleable victims of this. IMO this is a reflection of the critical problems in the world. But I digress, this is about cruising So lets go on a cruise and hope for no bad people! :cool:

Cheers, peace and love ya‘ll , help ever hurt never, don’t let the bastards get you down…..

Mark…

[constructiondude]

I've always been a fan of "saying nothing". Look them square in the eye but do not get caught up in their drama. There is a lot of truth to "silence is golden" and it will often drive them nuts! They have no idea what you will do or what you are thinking and they will end up dwelling on that so much that they will forget what their original problem was in the first place.

 

I will still look mad. I will still look like I'm about to erupt in a flurry of fists. Would I act on it....heck no. I'm old enough to know better. But let em think it anyway, they deserve it at that point.

[Copper10-8]

Let's face it, some folks are miserable when the sun goes up in the morning. I work in a service orientated job and I have seen my share of upset people whether they had a righteous beef or not . As one get's older and wiser;) over the years, one realizes that getting face-to-face on their level is only going to aggravate things and not necessarily solve the problem (doesn't mean you have to let them walk all over you, though;) ).

I have seen these individuals just totally rip the onboard staff "a new one". Couldn't help myself on one occassion (the Front Office girl was literally crying) and made some suggestions to the "guest". He left. I think most staff realizes that at times they will have to deal with upset pax and, for the most part, they are good at it, provide a listening ear, and attempting some sort of solution. It can be a very thankless job for those that are sought out to bring instant relief. Sometimes, the demands are so unrealistic, there's absolutely nothing they can do and everyone realizes that live goes on!:)

[Lachase]

But not always----which brings to mind our stay in FL a few years ago when we had several "disastrous" moments: first, the hotel only had 2 floors and they placed us on the ground floor when we wanted the upper level where we could see the ocean view. They said they didn't have another upper room available but several days later were to have one and we were to switch at an appointed time. We geared our day to returning at the designated time, in which we were told, no it was suppose to have been at an earlier time, and sorry, now the room is no longer available. We actually planned our morning to return to the hotel specifically for the switch so it blew our day a bit and then still no results. Worse, at one point I went to the small laundry room and the door shut behind me and locked from the outside with no way to open it up. It was small, hot, away from hotel foot traffic; I had to yell for help until I was finally heard. Then the maintenance supervisor proclaimed how it was "not his fault" as though that was the most important factor. When we checked out, I told the manager of all the problems. We were repeat customers at this hotel; frankly, her attitude was like I was lying, that they had no responsibility. You know, they did give us a bit of a discount on our bill, but truthfully, I really primarily just wanted them to seem like they actually cared to give good service, which they did not. We haven't been back and it spoiled our previous good feelings about the hotel. Maybe some customers feign problems, but sometimes there really are problems and establishments could care less.