Teenager/Formal Night

[FrReindeer]

New to cruising, would like to thank everyone for the great tips and information, I've been reading these boards for several weeks now. We leave on our first cruise 04/02/05 on the Glory, my DD and I. My DD will be 17 when we leave.

 

Formal night has created disruption in my family, to the point where she no longer wants to talk about it. My DD is a jeans and T-shirt kind of girl. Not grundge, since her clothing is without holes and tears. She simply is more comfortable not being dressed up. She does of course own dresses, though, she clearly is not comfortable wearing them. We have two formal nights on our cruise and I have convinced DD to attend one with me.

 

The problem lies with the extent of dressing up, she refuses to even talk about it now. She has an attractive black dress, that may be suitable and she is adament that that is the dress she is going to wear. Though, I'm not so sure that it is formal enough. I have plenty of time to work on her though, any tips anyone out there has would be wonderful.

 

I have a seamstress in the family (sister), quite talented. She's offered to sew a dress for DD. So far she's frown at every pattern we've looked at. Also, after New Years, I thought I'd take her shopping and have her look around see if anything catchers her eye. I can't see spending allot on this dress, since it will more than likely be worn once.

 

Any one have thoughts?

[Happy ks]

Relax, you have plenty of time for this to resolve itself. Your daughter knows how you feel, let her come around on her own. The more you push, the more she will resist, so pick your battles carefully and be happy this is your major problem with your teen. I do think kids need to know sometimes they need to be dressed appropriately, let her know she can dress casually during the day.

 

There is no teenage cruise board on this site, but there is another board, cruisemates, that have a specific teen area. Maybe have her post a question there to be answered by her peers. Sorry for the plug for another site, I hope this doesn't get pulled. CC is my favorite!

 

Have you gotten your clothing for formal nights yet? Perhaps if she sees your choices, she will see how uncomfortable she may be by not being dressed up. My final thoughts are that I have seen everything from office attire, Sunday best to ballgowns on formal nights, her black dress may be just fine.

[ladydawn]

To get my tomboy into a formal dress, I sent her shopping with her older sister and I stayed home. When I'm there I know she feels shes being ganged up on and forced to do something she doesn't like. They came home with stunning age appropiate outfits.

Is there a cousin or other young womn (20s) that she looks up to who could take her shopping for dresses or patterns and material?

[FrReindeer]

Ahhh, great idea. I do have another sister (29) that DD does quite a bit with. I'll wait a while, then ask her to take DD shopping. And see what happens.

[cruisead]

Tell your sister to talk to your daughter about how much all the teen girls go all out with their formalwear on cruises. The one thing teens don't like is to be different from one another when it comes to clothes. If your daughter sees that all the other teens on the ship are decked out on formal night, she might feel a little left out. In a little while, tell her about the teen cruise site on cruisemates.com. She'll be able to post questions about cruising to other teens from all over the country and she'll find out how much all the teen girls love dressing up for cruises.

[romy]

Personally, I think you should be lucky she doesn't want to dress like a slut like most teenage girls do. Can you say Brittney? Yuck!

 

I'm sure she will look very lovely and you will all have a great time!

Please consider yourself very fortunate!!!

Happy Sailing!!!!!!!!!

Romy

[FrReindeer]

Thanks Romy, I do feel lucky. I have a good kid, I suppose most parents will say that, though, I really do. Since it has been just my DD and I for so long, she's turning out to be quite a responsible person. I have no fear that she will imitate Brittany, since she wrinkles her nose at that one. Her favorite happens to be Avril Lavigne . . . not sure if that's a consolation, since that child is a tad dark and sloppy, though, I'm quite use to hearing her music played around the house.

 

I was however concerned that DD would feel uncomfortable on this trip, specifically the dining room. We are both looking forward to this cruise in our own different ways.

 

Thanks for the advice ladies.

[romy]

Hi again, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised, she will probably have the time of her life. She sounds like an intelligent, deep-thinking young woman. Who knows, maybe she'll get over the grunge or goth look once she experiences her first cruise?

 

It's all about new experiences for a young person and I can't think of a better new experience for her.

Happy Sailing!!!!!!

Romy

[TRich]

The whole "having someone she looks up to" thing really helps. Im 18 and my younger sister, 14, couldnt find a formal dress she liked or was comfortable in. Then a couple weeks before the cruise her and I went shopping together for one. When she saw the ones i liked and wanted to bye, she slowly began picking out things in her own style. Oh yeah, Tell her how cute all the boys are going to be dressed up in their tuxs'. That really encouraged my sister.lol.

Hope this helps.

[bunnkins]

Hi,

My husband and I are finnaly taking our kids on thier first cruise. I have 17,13 and 11 year old daughters as well as a 7 year old son. I was at first very concerned about formal wear for all of them but found they were quite okay with wearing alittle dresserier outfit. We went with more causual dresses for one of the nights for the girls and then more formal for the other. My oldest had 2 formals from dances that fit them. my concern is really causual nights. Do you think they can wear nice jeans in the dinning room? My girls love thier jeans and they have a couple of jean skirts I'm sure the jean issue will come up. Any suggestions would help! We leave August 22 on RC Legend of the Seas.

Thanks, Marion:)

[zurmoly]

No big deal. Let her wear the black. Take her out and shop to dress it up. Most teens slip right back into their casual clothes after dinner anyways.

[romy]

Jeans in the dining room? One word. No.

Sorry, but jeans are the ONE thing they really frown on, it's certainly up to you, but I wouldn't.

Happy Sailing!!!

Romy

[LARGIN]

Romy is correct.. Jeans are a big NO NO !!!!

[bunnkins]

Thanks. I felt the same way and have talked to them about it. The first casual night they are wearing skirts and seeing what everyone else has on. Then they can decide if they wnat to dine with us or go somewhere like Windjammer where jeans are okay. We had this disscussion a while ago I just wanted to get a feel for what everyone else thought. Thanks agian for you feedback.

Marion:)

[clemsoncruiser]

I just got off of a cruise in June. It was a five night so it only had one formal night. My entire family (mom's side) went, which totals up to about 40 people. There are about 10 granddaughters that range from 21-32 in age. We all came out wearing black strapless dresses that hit right below our knees and then we dressed them up with jewelry. All of our husbands were in suites. We all felt very comfortably dressed. However, there were a some teenagers in full sequins - looked as if they could have been their prom dresses.

[gerif]

How would your daughter feel about a pair of black pants in a dressy fabric with a glittery top (like a beaded or sequined T-shirt style)? Not too formal, but something she would be comfortable in and look festive at the same time.

[4 cruisers]

How about some dressy jewelry and a little beaded purse? I only have boys, but if I had a daughter, I'd be pushing for a "dressier" dress perhaps at Ross or Marshals!:rolleyes:

[FrReindeer]

Thank you all for the suggestions, I do have plenty of time to work on this, over seven months so, I'll be taking sister aside to have a talk with her about taking dd shopping. Pant suits may be an option, though, sequins?? I'm not too sure she'd go for that. Though, what is everyone's thoughts on a tuxedo style female outfit? Not full tuxedo obviously. Something very feminine.

 

DD thinks I'm obsessed, I really haven't been pushing this topic with her, though, I do plan plan and plan some more. This has been our first big vacation in many years, being a single parent bills and mortgage pymts come first. And college . . . so I may be experiencing 'empty nest' syndrome all ready and I'm actually several years from that. Weird hey?

 

I guess I'm explaining myself because she believes I'm being silly. I'm looking forward to formal night and hope she does to eventually.

 

Thanks again for the suggestions, they are appreciated.