Moving from having a "kid" to a "teen" - our experience!

[CanadianTwosome]

Ha ha ha ha ha That's so funny!!! What I wonder is when does Mommy go from being the perfect dance partner (spinning around the floor at a cousin's wedding with a giggling girl in a party dress) to a mortal embarrassment? :p

[themishmans]

Ha ha ha ha ha That's so funny!!! What I wonder is when does Mommy go from being the perfect dance partner (spinning around the floor at a cousin's wedding with a giggling girl in a party dress) to a mortal embarrassment? :p

 

Hasn't happened here yet. My 15 yo and I were just packing for our cruise NEXT WEEK (YEAH!!!) and she said "Mommy, are there going to be places where I can dance with you?" She usually squeezes out Hubby to dance with Mommy. :D

[VikkiGarcia]

These set of rules are great and very similar to the ones my teens must follow. I love to wander around the ship and run into my kids all the time when they are "hanging out". I told them as long as they are not doing anything inappropriate I will just walk on by acting as if I do not know them. This has helped me keep a much closer eye on where my kids are without embarrassing them in front of new friends.

[KC_fn]

Oooh, that is an excellent consequence for a cruise - and it might be even worse for my child... I sing karaoke!!! :eek: (which might not sound so bad, but apparently I don't sing 'good' songs...)

 

Of course you don't! You're a parent, which makes you AUTOMATICALLY uncool! :D

[CanadianTwosome]

Ha ha ha ha ha Ah yes, the automatic uncool. I guess I can live with that. I just keep telling her, though... the more she tells me I embarrass her, the harder I'm going to try! Just tonight I was singing along with some toy she was showing me at Toys R Us... she said, 'Mommy, you're embarrassing yourself...' and I just laughed and said, 'No, Honey, I'm embarrassing YOU.' hee hee :p

[KC_fn]

she said, 'Mommy, you're embarrassing yourself...' and I just laughed and said, 'No, Honey, I'm embarrassing YOU.' hee hee :p

 

I'm stealing that, if you don't mind. Thank you very much! :D

[CanadianTwosome]

I'm stealing that, if you don't mind. Thank you very much! :D

 

By all means! It's the least I can do since I've copied all your rules for future reference!! :)

[SweetAngel]

I copied the list too ... thanks!

 

I am still stunned that it happened to my daughter this year -- at age 11!!! She acts like a total teenage rebel straight from the movies. I never went through that stage so it's hard for me to relate (I still want my Mommy around ;) ).

 

My daughter just thinks everything I say or do is uncool!

 

I am guessing that it is not an age thing so much as the kind of friends she hangs around with.

 

I really thought I had a few good years left of sweet innocence. Oh well ... It will be interesting to see how this upcoming cruise goes.

[CanadianTwosome]

I copied the list too ... thanks!

 

I am still stunned that it happened to my daughter this year -- at age 11!!! She acts like a total teenage rebel straight from the movies. I never went through that stage so it's hard for me to relate (I still want my Mommy around ;) ).

 

My daughter just thinks everything I say or do is uncool!

 

I am guessing that it is not an age thing so much as the kind of friends she hangs around with.

 

I really thought I had a few good years left of sweet innocence. Oh well ... It will be interesting to see how this upcoming cruise goes.

 

I'm like you. I still want my Mommy around as well. I asked her to come on this next cruise (she came on the last one) but she'd done the same cruise a couple of years ago with her husband, who has now passed away, so she just thought it would be too difficult for her. I think my sister was embarrassed enough of all of us that I just didn't have to be. My mom taught home ec to grade 8 students, so she had a different class every morning and afternoon, and about 80%+ of the students at my high school in all the grades behind me had been in her class. They all thought she was wonderful - because she is, of course - but I think if I had ever complained about her, they would have all thought I was nuts!! :)

 

Hopefully on your cruise, when the friends (witnesses) are all left at home, your little girl will take the opportunity to just be your baby for a week!! :)

[Icyhill]

Here are some that I had for DD almost-16.

 

1. When not in our cabin, you must be with someone from our party at all times. (We were travelling with a group of teen girls, so she had lots of safe options here.) No wandering the ship with new friends you just met, unless someone from our party is also with you. No wandering around by yourself.

 

2. You may not enter the cabin of any "new friend". You may not accompany them to their cabin and wait in the hallway outside.

 

4. You must stay in well-populated public areas. (On the first day, we scouted the ship for the areas that were OK and not-OK.)

 

.

 

This will be our first cruise. Our oldest is 14. He's a pretty responsible, good kid that is used to a fair amount of freedom at home. (Can take off on bike to visit friends, will drop off at high school games on own, etc). He is, as I said, 14 and so we often note that his brain isn't fully ripe yet! How careful do we need to be on a ship (we're sailing on the Adventure of the Seas)??

 

Are there areas that we'll need to tell him to avoid? What are they?

 

His brother & sister are 6 & 8 so they will be in Ocean Adventure often. How safe is it for him to walk around the ship on his own? We're thinking about doing the walkie-talkie thing to help keep in contact. We are so used to him having a cell phone with him that it would be strange to not have a way to contact him.

 

Thanks for sharing your experiences! I really like the idea of the consequence for a poor decision to be hanging out with mom & dad. That'll keep him in line for sure! :D

 

icyhill

[Onessa]

Welcome to the discussion Minnesota (I'm from Wisconsin)!

 

While others will have lots of good ideas there are a few basics that have been mentioned:

1) Stay in public places that are open to your age group. Walk around the ship with him -- point out the bars, the gym, the solarium areas that have age limits that he does not meet. Point out places that are 'ok' -- game room, sports areas, library, teen club.

2) Do not go into any other person's cabin. We allowed our DD to go to her friend's cabins only when she specifically asked permission to go, they had a specific thing they planned to do while there, and we cleared it with at least one of the friend's parents. Fortunately we felt comfortable with these girls and their families -- she knows that while we were ok with it on this cruise, we might not be with other kids on other cruises.

3) Set specific check in times and places.

4) Set up a system of notes (even if you use the two-way radios) that can be used to communicate where everyone is, when and where everyone is to meet, and insist all plans and changes of plans are documented (for everyone)

5) Set and enforce a curfew -- have extra check-in times during the evening or if you are in-port but on-board (underaged kids aren't supposed to be able to leave the ship without a parent, but . . . .)

6) Set daily and cruise-long limits to $$ on set sail pass and monitor all of your accounts daily.

7) Rule (for life in general) -- do not drink anything that you did not see poured / eat anything that you did not get yourself. Do not drink or eat anything that was out of your control or sight for any period of time. There are bad people out there and there are people out there with really strange (and dangerous) ideas of what might be funny.

8) Rule (for life in general) -- floors are for walking upon/standing upon. Chairs, tables, railings, etc are not. Do not climb onto / stand upon anything that is not designed to be stood upon. Do not climb onto / stand upon anything that is a restricted area.

 

You know your son and how likely he is to sucumb to peer pressure. Pay close attention to the friends your son makes particularly the first few days and fine tune the rules to match the savory factor of his friends. We were OK with the four girls DD hung out with, but there were a few other tween girls on board who honestly would have scarred me had she "made friends with" any of them!:eek:

[CanadianTwosome]

Welcome to the discussion Minnesota (I'm from Wisconsin)!

 

While others will have lots of good ideas there are a few basics that have been mentioned:

1) Stay in public places that are open to your age group. Walk around the ship with him -- point out the bars, the gym, the solarium areas that have age limits that he does not meet. Point out places that are 'ok' -- game room, sports areas, library, teen club.

2) Do not go into any other person's cabin. We allowed our DD to go to her friend's cabins only when she specifically asked permission to go, they had a specific thing they planned to do while there, and we cleared it with at least one of the friend's parents. Fortunately we felt comfortable with these girls and their families -- she knows that while we were ok with it on this cruise, we might not be with other kids on other cruises.

3) Set specific check in times and places.

4) Set up a system of notes (even if you use the two-way radios) that can be used to communicate where everyone is, when and where everyone is to meet, and insist all plans and changes of plans are documented (for everyone)

5) Set and enforce a curfew -- have extra check-in times during the evening or if you are in-port but on-board (underaged kids aren't supposed to be able to leave the ship without a parent, but . . . .)

6) Set daily and cruise-long limits to $$ on set sail pass and monitor all of your accounts daily.

7) Rule (for life in general) -- do not drink anything that you did not see poured / eat anything that you did not get yourself. Do not drink or eat anything that was out of your control or sight for any period of time. There are bad people out there and there are people out there with really strange (and dangerous) ideas of what might be funny.

8) Rule (for life in general) -- floors are for walking upon/standing upon. Chairs, tables, railings, etc are not. Do not climb onto / stand upon anything that is not designed to be stood upon. Do not climb onto / stand upon anything that is a restricted area.

 

You know your son and how likely he is to sucumb to peer pressure. Pay close attention to the friends your son makes particularly the first few days and fine tune the rules to match the savory factor of his friends. We were OK with the four girls DD hung out with, but there were a few other tween girls on board who honestly would have scarred me had she "made friends with" any of them!:eek:

 

Another EXCELLENT set of rules. That food/drink one is so scary, isn't it? Even in our little small city here, I know someone personally whose friend collapsed in the bathroom of a club after accepting a beer from a man (they took her to the hospital and confirmed that she had been drugged). Thankfully her friends had pulled her away with them instead of letting her stay with the man! Even when it's not malicious, as you noted, there are some people who think some very strange things are funny. :mad:

 

I agree completely that every parent must make their own choices based on the child that they know. Having an otherwise well behaved, well mannered and responsible child doesn't preclude taking precautions, though. A responsible child will always be happy to discuss rules and contingencies, also. If you have trouble convincing your child to take a bit of time to set the rules and freedoms, it may be a sign that you might want to supervise a little more closely...

[Disneygirl4ever]

This is a really informative thread. We are sailing NCL Spirit in June 08, and my oldest son will have just turned 13. I think the age span on the Spirit is 13-17, which frightened me a bit. My son is a good kid, and makes friends pretty easily, but he's also not very "street smart" and has been sheltered quite a bit :o. I really hope he meets some other boys his age so that he doesn't feel like he has to hang out with Mom and Dad for the entire cruise....:eek:

 

We are traveling with friends of ours and their 8 year old daughter. My youngest son will just have turned 9, so he'll be able to hang out with his buddy (our friends daughter) in the kids club. I'm happy they'll be together, but I do feel bad for my oldest.

 

Thanks for the great information!!

[CanadianTwosome]

This is pretty scary... but I thought I'd share just to really reinforce how important it is to STRESS to your children to NEVER accept a drink from someone. At Christmas dinner at my mom's, we were catching up with our niece and she told us about a recent incident where she took a drink from someone and then became ill. (It was her first drink of the night, so it was clear that it was the cause) My husband, who is an ex-cop, determined that the symptoms she was describing were likely the result of someone slipping her Ketamine, also known as 'Special K', also known as horse tranquilizer. :eek: We read her the riot act, of course, and I HOPE she learned from the experience. I wish it weren't so, but you simply cannot be too careful.

[KC_fn]

 

I agree completely that every parent must make their own choices based on the child that they know. Having an otherwise well behaved, well mannered and responsible child doesn't preclude taking precautions, though. A responsible child will always be happy to discuss rules and contingencies, also. If you have trouble convincing your child to take a bit of time to set the rules and freedoms, it may be a sign that you might want to supervise a little more closely...

 

Great point! I was "Dragon Mom" at the beginning of our cruises, much to my DD's chagrin. I was super-strict about deadlines, and interrogated her about her activities and plans at every opportunity. She wasn't happy about it but she went along, knowing it was the price of her newfound semi-freedom. As the cruise progressed, and she demonstrated trustworthy behavior, I loosened the reins just a bit, while still letting her know that she was accountable for following all the original rules. It's always easier to start strict and lighten up, than vice versa.

[pla]

Hi,
We have been cruising since my dd were 2, 5, and 7. So far we have only been on Carnival and the kids have had a blast. My two oldest last time were 10 and 11, and were in the same program, could check out together and it was a blessing. However, on Carnival, the 12s are in the 12-14. My daughter is turning 12 in January, and a week later we take our cruise. Watching the 12-14 program on Carnival really scared me as the kids were running around causing trouble A LOT. Even though my daughters are very well behaved, I just didn't want to subject them to that. We are cruising on NCL, and their program is for 10-12, and they have to have a parent check in and out. This is different than CCL as my daughter actually did check in and out themselves, so they are a little upset, but I think it is for the best this time. So if your child is in that age group, check the different lines to see what the groups are and what supervision they have. Starting from when we first started cruising, we have had RULES, RULES, RULES, and my kids have stuck to them very well, which is why we keep cruising. I always said that if they are alone (this goes for teenagers as well) and there is a man in the hallway with them, do NOT open their door, just keep walking by. NEVER go in the elevator alone. Doubtful anything would happen, but you never know.

We have also done the walkie talkie thing, and as long as you remember them, it is helpful. We would usually leave the room without them. On the other hand, I always knew where my kids were, as they always had to tell me what time they would check out of camp carnival, and where they were going. Usually they had to come to where we were and check in. A twosome is great, had it just been one, it would have been a problem!