Yaliina Posted March 16, 2008 #1 Share Posted March 16, 2008 I'm looking for some advice about whether or not to take our toddler with us on our 7-night Royal Caribbean Cruise this September. And I apologize in advance for the length of this post. We planned a "friends & family" cruise this September- but the "family" portion (ie- all 4 grandparents) backed out!! We've already booked the cruise, as have several of our friends. We had planned to take our 2 y-o (who will be 3 months shy of 3 years-old then) with us- got a balcony & everything. But now we're considering leaving him w/ the g'rents. I'm really torn- we went on an adults-only wedding cruise last year (RCCL) & had a blast- but I was really looking forward to sharing this experience with my son. He's a very well-behaved (for his age) child, and extremely smart/outgoing, easy-to-travel with kid. He isn't picky, is happy most of the time, and gets along great with others & w/out us. Mainly, we want to go snorkeling with our friends & have a good time with them for at least some of the trip, and we're worried that taking our kid along will hinder our good time. I feel guilty, though. I think he'd have a great time on the trip, but he won't remember it later, and he'd have a good time with the grandparents too- they spoil him, of course. Then there's the fact that we already booked a balcony cabin for three.... I'm just so torn. It wouldn't hurt our marriage to go without the baby for a week. I'm not worried about how he'll do w/out us- we left him when he was 18 months with the g'rents & he did GREAT! He's a very securely attached child & well-adjusted. I'd really like some honest, rational, reasonable guidance/advice from other parents who've cruised with (or without) toddlers. TIA!! And thanks for getting through my long-winded post! ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandstan Posted March 16, 2008 #2 Share Posted March 16, 2008 Our son who just turned two in February will be going on his 3rd cruise this June. We do not have family that we can leave our son with for a week, so he just goes with us everywhere. RCI has a in room sitting service that we will try this June. On our last Princess cruise we brought a single lady along with us to help watch him and we went on Carnival last summer and he use the group sitting..so it can be done...and we love to take him...but we also do not have another choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baxter Posted March 17, 2008 #3 Share Posted March 17, 2008 We do have family we could leave our 18-month old with, but would never think of it. She's also outgoing, securely attached, and the belle of the ball. Admittedly, we won't be going off on snorkeling excursions together for some time, but for us travelling with our family means redefining what a holiday is. The "s/he won't remember it" argument drives me nuts...my latest retort for that (when typically said by seniors) has been "well, once the Alzheimers kicks in, you won't remember this cruise either, but that doesn't mean you should stay home!" On our last cruise (our daughter has been on 3 to date), we travelled with the grandparents, an aunt and cousins. And we still didn't change the way we did things. But my husband and I do trade off...if he wanted to go snorkeling with the group, I would take our daughter to the beach, or if I wanted to do something, he'd take her to the beach. It works well for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattyW Posted March 17, 2008 #4 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I think I would leave him with his grandparents (and this is coming from someone who cruises with little kids as young as 11 months and continues to cruise with them, most recently in January with a 2 and 5 year old) The biggest "problem" or "difference" in cruising with kids, esp. on RCCL is the port activities. On RCCL you can get a babysitter a couple of evenings during the week for some child-free time, but there are no sitters for the ports for the under 3 set. I haven't been snorkling since before my oldest was born in 2002 and that's one real sacrifice on cruising with young kids. We won't book an excursion over 2.5 hours and we won't book one where we have no "out", like a beach/boat excursion where you HAVE to rely on the cruise ship transport. Who knows when child A or child B with have just had it for the day and need to get back to the ship - an hour and a half before the excursion's over. I don't like to be locked in to things like that. So, since the port excursions were the one thing you mentioned that you really wanted to do (instead of say - go to the casino or to the late night shows), I just don't think it's really possible for the two of you to do those things together with a 2 year old. Since he would have a good time with his grandparents, I would let him take his vacation with them. Just my thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaliina Posted March 17, 2008 Author #5 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Thank you ALL for your thoughts- I will continue to consider this decision. I appreciate Baxter's point of view- I agree that the "he won't remember it" is not a REASON not to take a child anywhere- experiences shape who we are, whether or not we actually recall the details. But a week with pampering grandparents who love you more than life is an experience, too. I didn't think we'd have thought to leave my son at 18 months either, & I was ready to back out of my friend's wedding cruise, but the grandparents were all SOOO excited to have him (all 4 of them stayed at our house with him & the dogs), and it really was amazing the amount of sleep I was able to catch up on! I think I'm kind of leaning towards leaving him, though. Mostly because as much as I love him & enjoy him every day, it is a lot of work being 100% responsible for an entire human being, and darn it, I do a GREAT job of it 51 weeks out of the year & it's probably good for everybody if we take one week off to just relax & recoup. Well, thanks for letting me talk this out some- I'm an extravert & I need to bounce things off others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sailinglisa Posted March 17, 2008 #6 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Yaliina - after reading your post and understanding why you booked this cruise in the first place, I would agree with you leaving your little one at home this time. You booked the cruise thinking the grandparents were going to be there so you could spend time with your friends doing grown up things, while they watched their beloved grandson. Now that the grandparents aren't going, I would leave my child behind to be spoiled and doted on. Having a healthy and loving with your grandparents is one of the many blessings you can give a child. And spending time alone with your spouse and your friends can give you the respite you need and the energized renewal to be a great mom to your son when you get back home. Go and enjoy the cruise and know your son is in great hands having a great time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boulders Posted March 17, 2008 #7 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I'm taking my 2 year 8 month old son on his first cruise this coming weekend. I don't have grandparents to watch him, nor a husband or nanny to help out. I do have two older children who can babysit for short periods. I have taken a nanny on other trips, but didn't consider it for this trip. We're going on RCCL. I will be using the babysitting services a few times. My ds is also an easy-going, happy child. I do think that he would be happier at home than on the cruise though. He goes to a preschool program here and loves to play with his friends there. He hates weekends. LOL So, if I had your choice, I'd probably choose to leave him with the grandparents. Remember, that to be a good mom, you need to have time for yourself, to recharge yourself and to recharge your relationship with your husband. My husband died two years ago. Young women are widowed more often than you would imagine. Spend time with your husband. My regret is that my dh and I didn't spend more alone time together. Don't make the same mistake we did. Don't feel guilty about going without your son. Sounds like he'll have a wonderful time with the grandparents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crusinmama06 Posted March 17, 2008 #8 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I am torn with this one because I know what a great time you can have onboard with a toddler. My 3 year old has been on 4 cruises. We have never had family on her cruises. When she was too young for the kids club, I took 100% responsibility for her care. And I have taken the girls alone with no hubby on a cruise and we all had a blast. RCCL does have in cabin sitting if you want to go out with your friends. But just 2 weeks ago we went to Tampa without the girls for a business trip. I missed them terribly. BUT we got to do things as a couple (like hang out with other adults) that we never get to do as a family. The kids were fine (were spoiled by the gparents). And yes my kids were bitter they weren't in Florida...lol...but they got over it. So it's a tough choice to make. Good luck with whatever you choose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khm1 Posted March 17, 2008 #9 Share Posted March 17, 2008 ..my latest retort for that (when typically said by seniors) has been "well, once the Alzheimers kicks in, you won't remember this cruise either, but that doesn't mean you should stay home.This is great! I'll have to remember this one! I guess the question is: are your friends bringing their kids too? If not, I'd be inclined to leave ds at home. PP are right, it is good to recharge your relationship w/dh. I would take the oppertunity to have an adult week. If you have more kids, the grands may not be able to help as much. It sounds like ds is in great hands!:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CruiseDad-NYC Posted March 17, 2008 #10 Share Posted March 17, 2008 It wouldn't hurt our marriage to go without the baby for a week. ;) Yaliina - that line jumped out at me as I read your post. I just returned from a cruise with a 5yr/2mo old and 3yr/2mo old. My wife and I don't have the option of leaving the children with grandparents. While we had a great time with the kids, I think parents put so much energy into parenting that they don't put as much as they should into their marriage. If you have the option of comfortably leaving your child with loving grandparents, I would absolutely encourage you to do so. If your child were just a little bit older (i.e., over 3), I might temper my advice a bit, because my 3 year old had a great time. But, he had his older brother a long as a playmate, he was able to go to Celebrity's Fun Factory, and swim in the ship's pool. We also had the kids in adjoining cabins. I'm pretty sure your child will be too young for the ship's children's program and won't be allowed in the pool. You have a whole life time of family vacations ahead of you. If you are able to have a couples-only vacation, I would encourage you to jump on the opportunity and not feel guilty about it - your marriage is important, too. Whatever your choice, have a terrific time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mousecrazy Posted March 17, 2008 #11 Share Posted March 17, 2008 Originally Posted by Baxter ..my latest retort for that (when typically said by seniors) has been "well, once the Alzheimers kicks in, you won't remember this cruise either, but that doesn't mean you should stay home This is great! I'll have to remember this one! I guess the question is: are your friends bringing their kids too? If not, I'd be inclined to leave ds at home. PP are right, it is good to recharge your relationship w/dh. I would take the oppertunity to have an adult week. If you have more kids, the grands may not be able to help as much. It sounds like ds is in great hands!:) It's not so funny to those of us who have a mom, dad or other loved one endure life with Alzheimers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djp0630 Posted March 17, 2008 #12 Share Posted March 17, 2008 We're thinking of taking our 2 year old on a cruise. Just wanted to say, that my Brother & SIL went on a cruise last year and left their 2 kids at home with my parents. My SIL really missed the kids, and she said she wished she took them, since there were tons of kids. I'm not sure how long you have left your son previously during the last cruise, but if you have left him a week before, then you know how you would feel. It'll definitely be more relaxing without your son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crusinmama06 Posted March 17, 2008 #13 Share Posted March 17, 2008 We're thinking of taking our 2 year old on a cruise. Just wanted to say, that my Brother & SIL went on a cruise last year and left their 2 kids at home with my parents. My SIL really missed the kids, and she said she wished she took them, since there were tons of kids. I'm not sure how long you have left your son previously during the last cruise, but if you have left him a week before, then you know how you would feel. It'll definitely be more relaxing without your son. I was going to say that too. When we went to Tampa, since it was for business, there were only about 7 kids in the entire resort. But everytime I saw those kids, I felt horrible. :( I don't know how I would do it on a cruiseship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShelbysMom Posted March 17, 2008 #14 Share Posted March 17, 2008 I think it's fine to leave kids at home with grandparents. You should do what you are most comfortable with and what will be the best for you and your kids. We don't have anyone we can leave him with so we took our 2 year old on a 10 day cruise in Tahiti. We were still both able to get in the water because we split up doing excursions. I stayed with DS while DH took a snorkel tour and then he stayed with DS while I did a helmet dive. So taking a small child without outside help doesn't necessarily mean that you have to miss out on adventures, if you are willing to take turns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khm1 Posted March 18, 2008 #15 Share Posted March 18, 2008 It's not so funny to those of us who have a mom, dad or other loved one endure life with Alzheimers. I'm very sorry, I meant no disrespect. I did not mean to seem insensitive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaliina Posted March 18, 2008 Author #16 Share Posted March 18, 2008 . This is great! I'll have to remember this one! I guess the question is: are your friends bringing their kids too? If not, I'd be inclined to leave ds at home. PP are right, it is good to recharge your relationship w/dh. I would take the oppertunity to have an adult week. If you have more kids, the grands may not be able to help as much. It sounds like ds is in great hands!:) The answer to this question is that our friends have no children (on purpose). They're terrific friends to travel with bec. they are totally happy to hang out whenever it suits us all, and then to split & do our own things whenever the mood hits. I'm sure they'd love our DS (everyone does), but we'd be the only ones w/ kids in our group. We have talked to our parents (& each other), & have decided to leave DS @ home (at my parents' house with my in-laws visiting for the week) so he'll have all his g'rents around him, not to mention his (childless) aunt & uncles, & will get spoiled rotten. DH & I will be having our 10 year anniversary just before the cruise & we never really had a proper honeymoon, so we decided that we'll just call this our Anniversary/2nd Honeymoon & make it a marriage-enriching week. I'm feeling pretty good about this decision. I think it is the right one. By the way, DS is the ONLY grandchild on either side so far, and his g'rents are all best friends! THANKS A MILLION TO ALL WHO OFFERED WORDS OF WISDOM!! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tikcho Posted March 20, 2008 #17 Share Posted March 20, 2008 We just returned from a Princess cruise with our 1 year old and while we debated whether to take him or leave with grandparents, I'm glad we decided to take him. We had a blast and he had a blast and I woldn't have done it differently. Yes, it will not be a relaxing, lounging on a chair vacation and yes, it may be tiring at times. But we did so many great things together and he had so much fun interacting with the other passengers that we're definitely planning to go again. RCI does have the in-cabin babysitting so if he goes to bed fairly early you can get a babysitter after he falls asleep and still do the evening shows/dancing/etc. The only big limitation will be the shore excursions since you can't really do any zip lining/snorkelling/etc so if that's a big reason why you're going on a cruise then you may consider leaving him. For us - we just wanted beach time and some island tours, so he was fine on all of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onessa Posted March 20, 2008 #18 Share Posted March 20, 2008 The question in this situation really is not "should you take him or not", but instead "should you go on this trip?" Since the group with whom you are traveling are not parents, if you do take your son, you will be disappointed. It appears that you want to be off doing stuff with your friends and instead you'll be stuck with your child. Many of us love to travel with our kids, but we all admit that the experience travelling with your kids is different than travelling without. You have to come into the trip with different expectations and it does not sound like your expectations are those of someone wanting an awesome family vacation, but instead you are wanting a traditional couples' vaction. (neither is necessarily "good" or "bad" it's just that a family vacation and a couples' vacation are different things) If you really feel you need to take this trip and are comfortable leaving your child, traveling without him does sound to be your only option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jnncooke Posted March 20, 2008 #19 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Quick question to those of you who mention taking your infants on tours at the ports...I am going on a Carnival Cruise next month with my then 10 month old son....what do you do about car seats?? I just can't stand the thought of having him in a vehicle with nothing but my arms protecting him if the unthinkable happened. Can you buckle in a car seat on the buses or taxis?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crusinmama06 Posted March 20, 2008 #20 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Quick question to those of you who mention taking your infants on tours at the ports...I am going on a Carnival Cruise next month with my then 10 month old son....what do you do about car seats??I just can't stand the thought of having him in a vehicle with nothing but my arms protecting him if the unthinkable happened. Can you buckle in a car seat on the buses or taxis?? Yes I do. The info about car seats on excursions is here... http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=515214 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busdriver4u Posted March 22, 2008 #21 Share Posted March 22, 2008 i have children and i would leave them with their grandparents to spoil him and you will have a great time ,, my children enjoyed the cruises more when they were over the age of 8 more independent and they could enjoy the camp on board and left us the time to enjoy adult time go and enjoy he will be fine , dosn;t make you a bad parent , and im sure your parents will enjoy having him with a one on one time which is nice too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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