Misbehaving Children

[sapper1]

I disagree. My husband and I are taking our 16 month old on HAL for the first time. We vacation as a family. When we decided to have children, we made a committment to take care of our children. In my opinion, this includes teaching them manners. We are prepared for keeping her occupied, we plan on never letting her out of our sight, we have a schedule ready to incorporate a late naptime in order to make our 8pm dining time, and she's potty trained in her bathing suit (almost completely at home). We love HAL and aren't ready to look at booking with another line. Unfortunately, we know Disney is in our future once or twice.

 

Its actually comments like yours that make me nervous to book with HAL at all. I didn't take it as an offense. Its just that some people DO look at children like they are carriers of the plague. When someone is studying to be a doctor, they work through real life situations before they are ready to go out on their own. When someone is learning to skydive, they must take 3 tandem jumps before going out on their own. When a child learns manners at home, its real life situations that test what has been taught. Our daughter is young, but we don't believe any age is too young to grow accustomed to different situations.

 

 

 

I believe that threads like this, when pointing out the child's ill behavior should focus ALL blame on the parents. I only hope that my parenting can live up to the CC expectations. :o

 

 

 

This is EXACTLY how I feel. We've taken our daughter, from the age of 3 months, to very exclusive high-end dining establishments. We've never had a problem with her.

 

It is sad that I feel that I have to defend my choice to take my daughter on a cruise because of the bad behavior of other parents and their children. :(

I think the poster who referred to bored children on HAL was talking about older children, who need a wide range of activities and can run wild if bored. A 16 month old child can be entertained anywhere with a few toys and the fact that the ship doesn't have rock walls, skating rinks, bowling alleys etc would have no impact on her experience.

As an aside, your daughter looks like a dear little thing and I commend you on the responsible approach you are taking with regard to raising her. I am sure she will turn out to be one of those children who gets noticed in restaurants because she is so well behaved. They do stand out, you know because it happens so rarely these days.

[westboroatty]

Happy New Year everyone,

 

P & O in the UK have an adults only ship as part of their fleet. HAL could do the same - not as big a ship as Eurodam of course.

 

 

I think if HAL were to do that, they'd get slapped with an age discrimination suit.

 

I also think it runs counter productive to HAL's marketing goals of trying to be something other than the "old people" line.

 

Other posters have stated that its is not the crew's job to discipline the children on the ship but it is the parents job. While I do not disagree, It should be stated that the parents can't be everywhere at all times. I took my 5 year old daughter on HAL's Rotterdam last summer. About 10 days in, she decided that she would "dissappear" by quickly hiding somewhere like under a table cloth or around the corner. She only did it twice, because even though I got a moment of missing child panic, a friendly member of the crew ratted her hiding place out to me.

 

Rick

[dvdfreakmc]

I have worked with children and parents for many years. I think that as more parents are in the work force and they employ nannies and au pairs, they really don't know how to take care of their children. The day to day tasks fall to their nannies . I've seen these parents out in restaurants in vacation spots and truly, they don't even know how to relate to the kids. Children need boundaries to make them feel loved and safe, and they're not getting them from parents who don't know how and when to set them. It's very sad.

 

 

Thanks for your comment Carol. It is something that I hadn't considered, but so true. Many of my friends at work have nannies, but due to my son's disability, one of us was at home with him. I have often wondered how some parent's don't seem to sense that it is time to "move on" from an activity or give rest to their child. We have generally looked to Cameron to give us really clear signs that he was tired, hungry, or there was some other problem, and once addressed he is a great kid. But you are likely right. Without constant interaction with your children, you likely wouldn't pick up on these signs or know where to set boundaries on a vacation. The other main time we see this issue is at Disney, where people seem bound and determined to get everything out of a day and plow forward, even when their child is obviously "done for the day". We used to bring the stroller or rent one, so that we could get him to sleep in the middle of the day and we would enjoy walking the park or taking him back to the hotel for a nap, then coming back at night. Children are great communicators of what their needs are and by looking for their signals, you can not only have a better time at what you plan to do, but also really improve the experience for those around you.

 

Another gave a comment about practicing before you go and we have always done that. How is a child supposed to know how to act unless you practice and home first, then in restaurants, then in getting dressed up for a more formal dinner. When you completely change the situation on them, it is natural that they don't "follow" along as well, without being exposed previously.

[Zambini]

We only cruise Spring and Fall so we don't have to put up with it.

 

I've found other peoples kids are like pets, what they feel is good behavior may not be what I consider good behavior.:cool:

[yarlenna]

The passengers and crew should make note of which children (and/or their parents) have been misbehaving during the cruise and the cruise line should give each of the little darlings an espresso and a free puppy when they disembark.;)

 

Bravo! This post is the best in a long time.

[jhannah]

Right on, Duck Duck Cruise! As long as they make it a double shot! ;)

[WeRockChalkKU]

I've read/heard about the Holiday cruises and out of control children in the past and wonder if it's mainly the Christmas/New Year ones that have been the most problematic? Also, is it mainly on Mexican Riviera cruises? Has anyone had this type of thing happen on Thanksgiving Carribean cruises?

 

Thanks for any input

[babyher]

Thanks for your comment Carol. It is something that I hadn't considered, but so true. Many of my friends at work have nannies, but due to my son's disability, one of us was at home with him. I have often wondered how some parent's don't seem to sense that it is time to "move on" from an activity or give rest to their child. We have generally looked to Cameron to give us really clear signs that he was tired, hungry, or there was some other problem, and once addressed he is a great kid. But you are likely right. Without constant interaction with your children, you likely wouldn't pick up on these signs or know where to set boundaries on a vacation. The other main time we see this issue is at Disney, where people seem bound and determined to get everything out of a day and plow forward, even when their child is obviously "done for the day". We used to bring the stroller or rent one, so that we could get him to sleep in the middle of the day and we would enjoy walking the park or taking him back to the hotel for a nap, then coming back at night. Children are great communicators of what their needs are and by looking for their signals, you can not only have a better time at what you plan to do, but also really improve the experience for those around you.

 

Another gave a comment about practicing before you go and we have always done that. How is a child supposed to know how to act unless you practice and home first, then in restaurants, then in getting dressed up for a more formal dinner. When you completely change the situation on them, it is natural that they don't "follow" along as well, without being exposed previously.

 

 

 

I could not agree more.

 

We also know a few couples that have nannies and au pairs , and It seems like they know more about the kids and have more control over them than the parents.

 

Another thing I have noticed also.

 

Before I start please do not flame me, this is something I have noticed in a few cases , I am sure others have too, and its just my 2 cents.

 

A lot of couples today start their families later than they used to.

 

They wait til they get the career up and running and the dream house and all that and then its time to have the baby. Of course they love their child , but having the child is one more thing to do on the list. It's so you have the whole package , its so everyone stops asking "When are you going to have a baby?" "When am I going to be a grandmother?"

 

They have the baby , they have the career , and many time the child either gets handed to the nanny or shuffled of to day care , an dthe full extent of teh parents interaction is fun times on the wekend . Seeing that is the only time some parents do the one on one thing with the kids (weekends or vacations ) they don't want to spoil it with a bunch of rules. they want to make it fun time.

 

Also, again just my opinion , having a baby and raiseing little ones gets tougher and tougher the older you get.

 

DW and I were in our mid and early 20s when we had ours. We had all the energy and patience to chase after them and deal with them. And even then there were days *LOL*

 

We are 46 and 39 now and I couldn't even imagine having a baby now. up all night , diapers, chasing after them, running here and there with them. Putting up with teh temper tantrums, dragging 5 bags of stuff with you just to go to the store, or visit a relative . Its making me tired just typing this *LOL*

 

We know one couple that had their first (and it seems only) child when he was 43 and she was 40. Every set of parents of a new born have that sleep deprived look about them *LOL* But these two look like the walking dead :(

 

AND WAIT....You want to be carpooling a 10 year old in your 50s? You want to deal with teens in your 60s ?????? Good God

[sp2]

If you have a problem with how a child is acting you should talk to the adult not the child. I get furious when people try to correct my children's behavior, people have different opinions of how a child should be acting, and even if i agree with someone that my child isn't doing the right thing, that still isn't their place to talk to the child. It would be better to pretend you think the parent doesn't notice, and point it out to them, so they can say something to the child. Children aren't supposed to talk to strangers. Anytime someone has corrected my children's actions I always tell them to ignore the person loud enough for that person to hear.

But what if the parent ignores you? What if the parent is nowhere to be seen? I've seen numerous unsupervised kids around/in pools and hottubs, acting up, splashing older folks in the face with water, etc. Its unsafe for the kids to be in there unsupervised and its rude to the older folks who just want to enjoy a bit of time in the pool as well. There are some parents out there who just let their kids go for the week or 10 days and figure the crew or other adults will see they come to no harm. Not all parents act responsibly on a cruise. Children aren't supposed to talk to strangers; but likewise they are not supposed to splash grown-ups purposely in the face, but it happens. Whats the grown-up to do, just smile and ignore the misbehavior? If there is no parent obviously around you have to speak directly to the child.

[TammiJay]

We only cruise Spring and Fall so we don't have to put up with it.

 

I've found other peoples kids are like pets, what they feel is good behavior may not be what I consider good behavior.:cool:

Which is smart of you.

 

I couldn't believe the of people I heard complaining about the amount of kids on our cruise. Well, for goodness sakes. It was Christmas vacation...what did they expect? People were of course going to bring their whole family. And it was a Carnival cruise, known for families and children.

[DebbieS732]

I'll have to respectfully disagree that it's HAL's fault the kids are misbehaving. I would not cruise when my son was very young, because I believe cruising should be a primarily adult vacation.

 

I have to agree with this. When my son (now 17) was small, we did kid-appropriate vacations (the beach, Disney, skiing where he spend the entire time in kid's ski school, etc). We purposely avoided traveling to other less-kid friendly places.

 

We started taking him on more 'grown-up' vacations when he was around 10. Since then, we have taken him all over the world. I'm appalled at how many people drag their 3 year old through places that hold no interest for a small child. I mean, seriously, places like Buckingham palace, the Vatican or Stonehenge. If the kids aren't in a stroller, they run around and the parents often end up spending most of their time running after them. Small kids have no interest in these things and will never remember them. My philosophy was why waste the money and why not wait until the kids are able remember these places?

 

I think the appeal of cruises to a lot of people with children is that they have a built-in babysitter. And that's fine as long as when the kids are in public places, the adults make sure that the kids are not infringing on other people and are safe. A lot of adults do that, sadly, some don't. When our son was young, my husband and I frequently took turns walking him outside the restaurant rather than risk spoiling someone else's meal. That is the reality of choosing to take a young child to a restaurant. They get bored easily and don't view eating out the same as adults. There are plenty of kid-oriented restaurants out there - we spent many a Friday night at Chuck E Cheese. :) Maybe the cruise lines need to have more kid-friendly dining and recreation options if they're going after the family 'market'. I know that some resorts have adult only pools. How about adult only restaurants, shows, cabin decks and other activities? Then everyone is happy.

[Duck Duck Cruise]

I have really enjoyed reading these posts even more than the Dreaded Dress Code Posts on the Celebrity Forum. Our son was taught (through experience) right from wrong. Don’t touch things that don’t belong to you. Use your inside voice and many other polite behaviors.

 

I see in our society these days that there are many more rude humans that were not taught by their elders to behave properly. My husband and I work for a University and as is custom, hire student workers. It amazes us that there are very few that have good work ethics and are polite. I find myself shocked when I run across one of these rare creatures and tell everyone I can, “Did you speak to that young man?” “Wow, he was so polite!” It is a very sad commentary on our society.

 

A few years ago I met a co-worker’s grand children which were twin boys age 2! I asked, “What are their names?” He replied, “Well, they ARE in the terrible 2’s so we call them “Seek and Destroy” I laughed at the time, but wonder if they are still behaving as if the name fits!

 

Our Daughter-in-Law is a high school science teacher and often uses her “Teacher Voice” when out in public and finds a child or adult being rude or misbehaving. It is amazing that the quiet, firm “Voice” even works on adults.

 

She also taught English to High School students in Poland when she was in the Peace Corps. There she learned what works in that society which is to point out loudly where all can hear what the person has done. For instance….someone cuts in front of you in line. She would say, “Excuse me, that was very rude of you to cut in front of me like that, didn’t your mother teach you any manners? Please step to the back of the line!”

 

The older I get the less likely I am to just let rude behavior slip by.

 

I might try this if the occasion should arise. :D

 

I would walk up to the parents and very discreetly say, “Excuse me, I am the Captain’s sister and may I suggest you control your children”.. Of course it is with a smile, and then I walk away.

 

And then the Captain’s brother-in-law would give them an espresso and a free puppy at the end of the cruise!

 

Happy Sailing!

Lin

[the4ofusandallourfriends]

'Cruising is a primarily an adult vacation'.

 

I have to disagree. That is what our north american culture has become....separation of family. Not only are parents not parenting anymore....getting babysitters and nannies...but now they need to be kept separate? Adults need pampering type vacations without their annoying kids and kids need hyper stimulating vacations. Then people wonder why families are so disconnected and kids don't listen to their parents?

 

What I consider an adult vacation is an adults only resort...or a hotel room booked for the night.

 

Disney to me is like fluffy white bread. Okay and fun, once in a while, but I personally can't handle the whole Disney machine shoved down my children's throat, so we do it, one day, every couple years. Our family vacation is for my husband and myself to relax and for our kids to have fun while we relax. They don't have a choice. They follow. I don't care if they don't remember, because my husband and I wanted to go and enjoy these places of beauty and culture and we enjoyed all the challenges of bringing them with us. Over the years it's helped them become well rounded kids that know how to behave in public and not just Disney spawn.

 

The kids never attend the kids clubs. I feel lucky about this now. My now teen daughter hangs around with me at the pool and my son stays with us or goes off with my husband. Now that they are a bit older, we try to invite other friends with kids a similar age and we always invite the grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles and single friends...we don't pawn off our kids on them. Our kids are not allowed to roam around the ship without us, even if the other parents allow it. There is no reason for it and I don't think it's safe anyway. We don't go drinking and we don't go to the casino. If the comedian gets too risque one or all of us leaves. When we are bored, we go to bed.

 

Over the past 10 years, our children have been on every type of vacation. We are not rich, or snobby or high class. I just think travel is important and family bonding. They've learned to linger over a two hour meal, try new foods, love being able to order whatever they want. My son is used to wearing a suit and tie for other events. They enjoy production shows and sometimes have fallen asleep on our lap if things get boring in a lounge. They've learned to talk to elderly people. Except for our first cruise when my son was 12 months old and fussy, we have never had to have our meals separately. They have learned to sit quietly over the years at our place of worship and that has probably helped. Now, we've started allowing the kids to sit at the next table to us and usually they need a few reminders or they lose the privilege and have to sit with the adults. I don't understand how parents have lost so much control...I think the person who mentioned about the nannies and aupairs raising the kids is right.

 

They are not perfect children. My son who is now 10 has a tendency to get silly, play with the bread and make pyramids out of cutlery. Usually this happens when I'm deeply engrossed in a conversation with someone. They might get a little loud laughing at times. He might have even splashed a couple people sitting right by the pool. But then we remind them of the rules. Elevator buttons are irresistible and so we always remind him right off the bat, that this would bother other people. The same with splashing and jumping in the pool. It is irressistible to a child, so we have to remind him of the rules about that too, usually a few times. It's called training. It doesn't happen overnight. So be patient with us.

 

Last year we spent a month in Greece and I noticed that children in europe are much more welcomed and integrated. Families travel together. Children eat out in restaurants and are brought to coffee houses and nice clubs at night, even in their strollers. This is a cultural thing. Alot of the grandmas and grandpas were there too...WITH their kids and grandkids. We also saw kids running around outside, while the parents ate and listened to music. The people in general seemed relaxed about it. While rules are needed for safety, our culture is certainly not better off shielding kids from other adults and vice versa. Anyone who suggests it, is only contributing to the problem and the problem will get worse.

 

Going back to the original point of cruising being an "adult type vacation". I disagree. Someone might think that cruising is not for people with walkers, oxygen tanks, wheelchairs, slow people, single people, people who don't like lots of food, and sea sick type people, oh and people like my mom who have a hard time with steps or cobblestone roads in ports...but we still include her because she has fun and we love her.

 

Fellow cruisers, please do not generalise. Otherwise you are acting just as entitled as the bratty kids....On the 9 cruises we have been on I've never witnessed badly behaved children...and I am very strict. I barely notice them until they do their parade, and then it's like...wow, I had no idea all those kids were onboard. There are ways to considerably lessens your exposure, like, don't cruise when school is out. Don't go on certain ships. And if you do have an unfortunate experience, I feel badly for you, but sometimes stuff happens on a vacation that lessens the experience. Try to do what you can and move on.....just don't blame all parents that have ever cruised. That's not fair. It is an isolated incident.

 

Instead people should be happy to see families travelling together and encourage it. Commend those families and kids that are trying their best and being well behaved. Encourage your kids to take your grandkids from a young age on real vacations. Help your kids to raise your grandkids with manners.

 

Also, Talk to my child...ask them questions about school and stuff. Interact with them. They won't bite.

 

Encourage instead of discourage.

[kryos]

When someone is learning to skydive, they must take 3 tandem jumps before going out on their own.(

Actually, that's not true. :) In Hawaii it is probably the case because of all the water hazards surrounding the drop zone on the North Shore. But on the mainland, it really depends on the individual drop zone and what their policies are. Many will let someone take a first jump class (about 8 hours long) and jump with instructors, though not attached as in tandem, on their very first jump. :)

 

I agree with you about raising your children to be mannerly. True, if they are taught how to behave, they should do well on any cruise line, including HAL. My only contention regarding children on HAL is that there are so many other lines better suited to children, why take them on HAL at all? If you want your kids to have a vacation, why not take them somewhere that will truly cater to their needs? If you want an "adult" vacation, and HAL is your line of choice, then why not leave the kids home if you know they won't enjoy the HAL style of cruise?

 

Just my opinion.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[kryos]

But what if the parent ignores you? What if the parent is nowhere to be seen?

Then you get the staff involved if you think the kids are doing something they shouldn't be doing. Or, you ask the kid to take you to his mommy or daddy. Nothing wrong with that.

 

Of course, there are going to be occasions that you may have to correct the child, merely because the parent is nowhere to be found ... but given a choice, I always feel it is best to speak with the parent if there is a problem with the child's behavior. Then let the parent handle it.

 

There are always going to be cases where there is simply nothing you're going to be able to do if a child is annoying you. If the child is not technically breaking any rules, nor doing anything unsafe, but just being annoying ... well, maybe the parent won't see it that way and will choose not to correct the child. In that case, you're just SOL. You and the parent have a difference of opinion as to the appropriateness of the child's behavior, and of course ... in this case, the parent wins. The child will keep on "keeping on" and there's nothing you can do about it.

 

But I still think you have a far greater chance of success in altering a child's behavior if you defer to the parent and let them handle it. Otherwise, p*ss the parent off by correcting his children and, if anything, you might very well find those annoying behaviors getting much worse.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[brazilgirl]

Bravo the4ofus.....

 

I think your post was one of the best I have ever read on CC.

 

Encourage instead of discourage..listen , interact , don´t generalize , be kind.

 

Bravo. These guidelines are sorely needed in today´s society.

 

These "little darling" threads are certainly not encouraging family togetherness-instead they are creating a "us against them" (those with kids vs. those without) which reminds of the so-called "mommy wars".

 

Really sad for both sides. Nobody comes out the winner.

 

Once again, thank you for your intelligent and thoughtful comments.

 

Kim

[kryos]

Fellow cruisers, please do not generalise. Otherwise you are acting just as entitled as the bratty kids....On the 9 cruises we have been on I've never witnessed badly behaved children...and I am very strict. I barely notice them until they do their parade, and then it's like...wow, I had no idea all those kids were onboard. There are ways to considerably lessens your exposure, like, don't cruise when school is out. Don't go on certain ships. And if you do have an unfortunate experience, I feel badly for you, but sometimes stuff happens on a vacation that lessens the experience. Try to do what you can and move on.....just don't blame all parents that have ever cruised. That's not fair. It is an isolated incident.

I agree with you ... no one should say that cruising is not a child-friendly sort of vacation ... because it can be.

 

But, I think in some cases, cruising with the kids on HAL very well may not be a child friendly vacation.

 

In your family's case, I am sure a HAL cruise can be a wonderful vacation, but then that's specifically because you interact with them and do "family things" with them. Not all parents are so inclined. And that's where the problem results.

 

I think kids can do well with any sort of vacation, if the parents "make it so." Include the kids in the planning process, let the kids have some input as to what the family will do in various ports, include them in your day-to-day life onboard the ship, and the kids should be fine. But many, many parents bring their kids on a HAL cruise, figuring that they will dump them into the kids program and then go and have a lovely sailing holiday. Then they can't understand why their kids are bored, and getting into trouble around the ship. They can't understand why they are having such a difficult time keeping the kids in line. Duh! HAL is not the cruise line where you can get away with that sort of thing and have a stress-free vacation. Children's programs can only do so much ... especially ones that take place on a ship where there really honestly is not that much to keep children occupied. So if a parent really wants to sail HAL with their children, they have to make up their mind that they will need to be much more involved with their kids on a daily basis. If they sailed a line like Disney or RCL, they could probably lean a bit more on the children's program while they went off and did "adult things." Not so on HAL. Not so on a trip to Rome or Venice or Greece. Those places don't really have much that specifically appeals to kids, so if the parents want their kids to truly appreciate those destinations, then they have to take a proactive role in ensuring the kids are kept engaged and interested.

 

From what you write, it appears that you do these things, and for that reason, you've had very successful vacations with your kids. But for a lot of parents, their feeling is that "I need a vacation too, and I want to have an enjoyable adult time," so they take the kids on a vacation and then depend on the kids to find their own entertainment ... they depend on the children's programs to help keep them entertained. That's just not gonna work and what you end up with is a bunch of bored kids roaming the ship looking for something to occupy their time. Parents are nowhere to be found because they are up at the spa, or in the casino, or sitting in a bar. The kids have free rein and will make life miserable for the other passengers because they will often engage in "harmless" kids games ... tossing food over the rail, pushing all the buttons in the elevator, running up and down the halls tearing the breakfast orders off people's doors ... those sort of basically "harmless" games that can be very, very annoying to others, and in some cases against cruise line rules.

 

So, while I agree 100% with your contention that children can do very well on HAL, I have to say that you have had great success because it is clear you have good parenting skills and know that you're not about to pass your kids off on a children's program, but rather will keep them engaged and occupied on your own. But, sadly, not all parents have the same outlook. Many parents are looking for a vacation experience that caters primarily to their own needs, and they take a HAL cruise expecting the kids to keep themselves entertained. All I am saying is that for those types of parents, they should really very seriously consider a Carnival, RCI or Disney cruise since that will allow them more "me time," while keeping their kids happy at the same time. If they really are bound and determined to make it a HAL cruise, then they should very seriously consider leaving the kids at home. They'll probably be much happier there.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[cruisinjudy]

I agree with the4ofus,

I am a grandmother with three grandchildren. They and their parents will be traveling to Alaska with us in May on Westerdam. We will probably have to take turns with the one year olds at dinner time. They are pretty good and we have been to long dinners with them at family restaurants, but we do take them to walk around towards the end of the meal while waiting for coffee or desserts. Families do need to spend time together and cruising is a wondeful way to do it.

[supercutie]

But what if the parent ignores you? What if the parent is nowhere to be seen? I've seen numerous unsupervised kids around/in pools and hottubs, acting up, splashing older folks in the face with water, etc. Its unsafe for the kids to be in there unsupervised and its rude to the older folks who just want to enjoy a bit of time in the pool as well. There are some parents out there who just let their kids go for the week or 10 days and figure the crew or other adults will see they come to no harm. Not all parents act responsibly on a cruise. Children aren't supposed to talk to strangers; but likewise they are not supposed to splash grown-ups purposely in the face, but it happens. Whats the grown-up to do, just smile and ignore the misbehavior? If there is no parent obviously around you have to speak directly to the child.

 

I was talking about the situation where the parent was there, i'm assuming the parent was there, if they were able to say something about talking to their child.

If the parent ignores you, oh well, its their child, and not your place to be correcting their behavior. If the parent isn't there, obviously you should be trying to locate them if you are so concerned about the child's behavior. A child splashing someone in the face isn't something I consider unsafe, but a child shouldn't be in the pool with out an adult, so you should alert staff so they can help the "lost" child.

I will tell someone off if they decide it is their place to parent my children, and i won't be nice about it, so if you decide to talk to a child then you are taking the risk they have parents like me, that think it is extremely rude for you to be talking to them. Your an adult, you don't have an excuse for your behavior, being stranger talking to a child. Children don't know they are being rude, they just think they are having fun, you don't need to ruin that time for them, let the parent deal with it.

[supercutie]

Also, lighten up. Realize that children will be children and something the child is doing may annoy you, but it may not in actuality be wrong. It's just annoying you. Don't expect a parent to force their child to just sit quietly because you happen to be annoyed that the child is making noise. The child is just being a child and what she is actually doing may just be something that children normally do ... such as squeal and yell while playing at the pool. If it bothers you so much, well ... it may just be that you have to either leave or deal with it.

 

I have to agree about the annoying comment. Children do things that annoy me all the time. I just deal with it. Adults do a lot of annoying things too, I just deal with that too.

[Mary Ellen]

I will tell someone off if they decide it is their place to parent my children, and i won't be nice about it, so if you decide to talk to a child then you are taking the risk they have parents like me, that think it is extremely rude for you to be talking to them.

Gottcha - next time I see a child running barefoot through the dining room, by our table where a glass was just shattered, I won't say a thing to the child, on the off chance he/she is one of yours. :eek:

[kryos]

Gottcha - next time I see a child running barefoot through the dining room, by our table where a glass was just shattered, I won't say a thing to the child, on the off chance he/she is one of yours. :eek:

That's a different issue entirely. If the child's safety is at risk, of course you should say something ... you almost have to say something, and surely only the most stupid of parents would have any problem with it.

 

But in "normal" situations where the child is just doing something that is annoying, you are really better off taking the matter up with the parent and letting the parent handle it as they see fit. Frankly, the parent may not feel the child's behavior is out of order ... it may just be the child is doing something that is annoying you ... and only you ...

 

Sadly when we take vacations we have to expect that we share the vacation venue with other people ... and sometimes those other people are going to annoy us. In many cases their behavior is really not wrong ... just annoying to US. In some cases, we just have to deal with it and not let it wreck our good time.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[cruz chic]

. Children don't know they are being rude, they just think they are having fun, you don't need to ruin that time for them, let the parent deal with it.

Oh come on. You can't be serious! They don't know they are being rude. I don't think you are giving your child much credit then.

[Mary Ellen]

Rita - It didn't make a bit of difference to the parents on that cruise (yes, this was a real situation). I just can't help wondering if "supercutie" was on the E'dam in the Baltic this summer.

[Duck Duck Cruise]

supercutie says:

 

so if you decide to talk to a child then you are taking the risk they have parents like me, that think it is extremely rude for you to be talking to them. Your an adult, you don't have an excuse for your behavior, being stranger talking to a child.

 

the4ofusandallourfriends says:

 

Also, Talk to my child...ask them questions about school and stuff. Interact with them. They won't bite.

 

 

How in the world would we know which parent we are dealing with if we see an absolutely out of control child? Here are two diametrically opposed views on dealing with children who are strangers.

 

I have no problem with children who are being children and are being annoying, but I do have a problem with parents who don't control their children who are out of control and don't attempt to correct the out of control behavior.

 

Now both of the posters above are obviously not the kind of parents that let their child create havoc in social situations, but unfortunately there are those the OP talked about who don't have a clue and could care less about others and therefore allow their child to create a less than enjoyable atmosphere. The problem and the solution is: Children learn by example, most often the example taught by their parents.

 

Believe me, if no parent is around (or seems not to be around), I will say something to the child to try and stop the behavior. If the parent then comes to me and tells me I am being rude to talk to their child then they will get an earful about their parenting skills loud enough for everyone to hear. They have NO EXCUSE either.

 

Vince