Dissapointed and saddened by celebrity summit experience

[schnoobie]

This is probably going to be long but I have to get this off my chest.

I just returned from The Summit. Traveled from NY to San Juan with my mother, myself, My 22 year old (med student) son and his 24 yr old partner. Both well mannered, polite, charming and handsome (ok, so I'm biased, but there is a point...) we had planned a family vacation and a romantic time for them all in one...I shared suite with my mother so not so much romance for me but thats another story.... Anyway...........

All seemed fine until our 1st dinner, table for 8 seating the 4 of us and 2 straight couples late 40s & early 50s traveling together. Friendly chit chat etc although I noticed a few sideways glances at the boys (who I thought were oblivious, since they were eating like they were starving!)

The area was very loud so halfway throuhg dinner I spoke to the maitre d' about getting a different table. Unfortunatly, I was told that there wasn't anywhere else for a group of 4 to be seated. I returned to the table and continued the chatter with our table mates but my mother told be she overheard some disgustingly derogatory comments about the boys. I then noticed that they had changed their seating so that the 2 women were sitting near the boys now....Mind you, we were all sitting politely eating and talking; not drunk or rude in any way...I felt my head getting ready to spin and I so wanted to throw my water in their face....but, I didn't wan't to make a scene, so we excused ourselves politely.

Next night before dinner I spoke to maitre d' again to see if they had found us a new table but was told the same thing, no space. then I explained the prior night's experience, the maitre d' went away for a moment and when he returned he told me that our tablemates had requested a change after dinner the previous night so a table for 4 was created for THEM elsewhere. We now sat at a huge table by ourselves like we had plague but the homophobes were gone so whatever.....

next night at the blackjack table one of the men sat next to me without noticing...I rather loudly said (to no one in particular) that it seemed that there were many ignorant closed minded individuals on board and the jerk got up and literally ran away saying "I don't want to play at this table anyway". We had had a few drinks so we practically pee'd ourselves over that one.

Still later in the week I was in the ladies room while my son waited for me outside. Several women came in, talking about my son while they waited on line. One said "we were seated with them the 1st night, they were all over each other" (lying cow!) another answered that "that was disgusting and that homosexuals should not be allowed onboard, public pools!" The 1st one said, "the matre d' understood and he moved us right away".

At that point I came out to wash my hands - if looks could kill I'd be in jail right now ... all 3 dropped their eyes and ran out of the bathroom.

I was furious and I know the boys were upset by this whole thing ...their so young, not as thick skinned as some....Gay or straight we do understand that certain behaviors are innappropriate in public, it's not like they were having sex on the table for god's sake! They were just sitting there attempting polite (yet boring) dinner conversation.

...I know bigotry exists but it was just awful, I've never experienced it firsthand.......sorta turned me off cruising, but it wasn't the cruiseline but the clientele. I know there are specific "gay cruises" but Why should they not enjoy whatever trip they choose just because some middle american ***** can't cope?

Any comments? I'm afraid I sound like a fool myself but I just had to rant...

[PRgymnast]

Wow, that's seriously f*cked up! There's no other way to put it; I'm sorry. My partner and I are going on our first non-chartered cruise on Thursday and I am NOT going to be put off by bigots and ignorant people. If anything, I'm going to make them as uncomfortable as possible. My partner and I do not walk around hand in hand and are not easily recognized as gay but I will not hold back for the sake of ignorant people. I wasn't going to bring my speedos or square cut bathing suits but I think I will now.

 

On another note, I've been reading all about this cruise in the main Celebrity board and there appears to be a ton of oddities that went on during this cruise. How I wish that you and your family were going to on our cruise this week. Do not be turned off to cruising in general! And I'm glad you ranted bc it made me aware that this could happen to me and for that alone, I'm thankful you posted.

 

Tell your boys that I know of several gays who have taken non-gay cruises and have had a wonderful time. I hope I am able to report the same when I return. And if not, then it was an experiment and I'll go right back to fully chartered cruises, which are just INCREDIBLE! And if they'd like, they will always be more than welcome on any Atlantis (or RSVP) chartered cruise.

[quincytoo]

This is probably going to be long but I have to get this off my chest.

I just returned from The Summit. Traveled from NY to San Juan with my mother, myself, My 22 year old (med student) son and his 24 yr old partner. Both well mannered, polite, charming and handsome (ok, so I'm biased, but there is a point...) we had planned a family vacation and a romantic time for them all in one...I shared suite with my mother so not so much romance for me but thats another story.... Anyway...........

All seemed fine until our 1st dinner, table for 8 seating the 4 of us and 2 straight couples late 40s & early 50s traveling together. Friendly chit chat etc although I noticed a few sideways glances at the boys (who I thought were oblivious, since they were eating like they were starving!)

The area was very loud so halfway throuhg dinner I spoke to the maitre d' about getting a different table. Unfortunatly, I was told that there wasn't anywhere else for a group of 4 to be seated. I returned to the table and continued the chatter with our table mates but my mother told be she overheard some disgustingly derogatory comments about the boys. I then noticed that they had changed their seating so that the 2 women were sitting near the boys now....Mind you, we were all sitting politely eating and talking; not drunk or rude in any way...I felt my head getting ready to spin and I so wanted to throw my water in their face....but, I didn't wan't to make a scene, so we excused ourselves politely.

Next night before dinner I spoke to maitre d' again to see if they had found us a new table but was told the same thing, no space. then I explained the prior night's experience, the maitre d' went away for a moment and when he returned he told me that our tablemates had requested a change after dinner the previous night so a table for 4 was created for THEM elsewhere. We now sat at a huge table by ourselves like we had plague but the homophobes were gone so whatever.....

next night at the blackjack table one of the men sat next to me without noticing...I rather loudly said (to no one in particular) that it seemed that there were many ignorant closed minded individuals on board and the jerk got up and literally ran away saying "I don't want to play at this table anyway". We had had a few drinks so we practically pee'd ourselves over that one.

Still later in the week I was in the ladies room while my son waited for me outside. Several women came in, talking about my son while they waited on line. One said "we were seated with them the 1st night, they were all over each other" (lying cow!) another answered that "that was disgusting and that homosexuals should not be allowed onboard, public pools!" The 1st one said, "the matre d' understood and he moved us right away".

At that point I came out to wash my hands - if looks could kill I'd be in jail right now ... all 3 dropped their eyes and ran out of the bathroom.

I was furious and I know the boys were upset by this whole thing ...their so young, not as thick skinned as some....Gay or straight we do understand that certain behaviors are innappropriate in public, it's not like they were having sex on the table for god's sake! They were just sitting there attempting polite (yet boring) dinner conversation.

...I know bigotry exists but it was just awful, I've never experienced it firsthand.......sorta turned me off cruising, but it wasn't the cruiseline but the clientele. I know there are specific "gay cruises" but Why should they not enjoy whatever trip they choose just because some middle american ***** can't cope?

Any comments? I'm afraid I sound like a fool myself but I just had to rant...

 

I am married with three grown children and work for a huge Fashion house, I don't like any overly displays of affection from any couples (straight, gay, space aliens or nearly dead) beyond a polite kiss, arm around your loved one or hand holding.

You handled this far better then I would have as I would have been ripping them a new one......I hate BIGOTRY and that is what you experienced from the jackasses, narrowminded idiots to the matre d'.

 

 

I would have been sooo mad :(

[02143]

You sound like a great Mom to travel like that as a family! Your son is very fortunate.

 

This particular comment resonated:

 

One said "we were seated with them the 1st night, they were all over each other"

 

This is a very common response. I've done gay group cruises on mainstream ships, and people who are unused to seeing same-sex couples interact at all exaggerate the hell out of what they've seen. Since for them, any sign of affection or coupling is inappropriate, they have to rationalize their response by claiming that people were violating normal standards of behavior, "were all over each other," and so on. I remember when we had pool Olympics in the Solarium on a sister ship to Summit, where there were day camp games like passing the orange from neck to neck and such, and people were down at guest services complaining that it was a scene "from a Roman orgy," according to the guy who had to field the complaints (and who later joined our group for drinks upstairs.) Their next comment was, naturally, what was Celebrity going to give them to make them feel better for having been exposed to this on their vacation? (The Solarium was closed off at the time.)

 

I hope your son and his partner were able to take some pleasure in the knowledge that those people ruined their own vacations with their closed-minded bigotry and sense of entitlement far more than they could have ruined someone else's. I can only speak for myself, but I can say that everything I heard in junior high or high school inured me to whatever "an adult" can say, so many years later. It's just laughable, some of the men who think that we just can't wait to get our hands on them. I don't know when your son came out to you, but in my experience, we've had many years to thicken our skins and our parents have to catch up because you have to start later.

[schnoobie]

Wow, that's seriously f*cked up! There's no other way to put it; I'm sorry. My partner and I are going on our first non-chartered cruise on Thursday and I am NOT going to be put off by bigots and ignorant people. If anything, I'm going to make them as uncomfortable as possible. My partner and I do not walk around hand in hand and are not easily recognized as gay but I will not hold back for the sake of ignorant people. I wasn't going to bring my speedos or square cut bathing suits but I think I will now.

 

On another note, I've been reading all about this cruise in the main Celebrity board and there appears to be a ton of oddities that went on during this cruise. How I wish that you and your family were going to on our cruise this week. Do not be turned off to cruising in general! And I'm glad you ranted bc it made me aware that this could happen to me and for that alone, I'm thankful you posted.

 

Tell your boys that I know of several gays who have taken non-gay cruises and have had a wonderful time. I hope I am able to report the same when I return. And if not, then it was an experiment and I'll go right back to fully chartered cruises, which are just INCREDIBLE! And if they'd like, they will always be more than welcome on any Atlantis (or RSVP) chartered cruise.

Thanks. I think I was (and am) more pissed off about it that they were... they are in love and had a great ime just being together....:D

[wxjcupo]

Thanks. I think I was (and am) more pissed off about it that they were... they are in love and had a great ime just being together....:D

 

It really is a shame that you and your family had to experience narrow-minded people, but they are everywhere. I hope that it didn't affect your vacation too negatively. My partner and I have sailed the Celebrity Summit two times and will be on it again this Saturday for the transatlantic. We have always been surrounded with gracious, wonderful, open, people. We even go to open-seating breakfast and sit with old couples, young couples, it doesn't matter. Each and every time we have been lucky to have met such wonderful people who were not judgmental in any way. But, we both know that, eventually, we will run into these same people that you had the displeasure of meeting. All you can do is enjoy your vacation and surround yourself with people who are warm and kind, while distancing yourself from those that are not. I think you did a good thing by venting here, while treating the matter with grace and class while onboard. It's like aggressive driving. Sure, you feel slighted by someone who cuts you off, but why let them run your blood pressure through the roof? Don't give them the satisfaction. Just let them skip along their merry way and karma always has a way of getting it even in the end. Relish the fact that you are better than they are and enjoy yourself. If they have a problem with it, they can jump overboard.

 

I would be happy to sit with you and your family any day of the week for dinner!

[pidaho1971]

So right off- kudos to you!

 

Such a sad thing to have your vacation brought down by little minds ("shouldn't be allowed in a public pool..." Ignorance abounds!)... I hope that you've posted this in the Celebrity forum, and more importantly- penned a version to Celebrity to let them know how you were treated. True, most of the problems were with other passengers (which they can't do much about), but for them to cater to THEIR homophobia in lieu of your desire to be away from jerks is inexcusable.

 

I hope y'all had a good time regardless!

[rnmikey]

You sure do sound like a great mom! Unfortunately this is the type of incident that causes us hesitation to book a mainstream cruise (although we are considering a TA on HAL). I do realize it really is "their" problem but like you it would put a damper on our overall enjoyment of the cruise. My concern with celebrity is that the maitre d' couldn' find you another table for your group but 30 minutes later was able to locate another table for the other couples? This makes me think that celebrity condones this type of behavior. Hopefully this was just an isolated incident.

[schnoobie]

You sure do sound like a great mom! Unfortunately this is the type of incident that causes us hesitation to book a mainstream cruise (although we are considering a TA on HAL). I do realize it really is "their" problem but like you it would put a damper on our overall enjoyment of the cruise. My concern with celebrity is that the maitre d' couldn' find you another table for your group but 30 minutes later was able to locate another table for the other couples? This makes me think that celebrity condones this type of behavior. Hopefully this was just an isolated incident.

i would like to think so but it makes you wonder....

[quincytoo]

i would like to think so but it makes you wonder....

 

I wonder if you could let Celebrity know of the incident and see what their response is???

[bplazo]

What a shame that happened. You sound like a wonderfull mother and I know who I would prefer to share a dinner table with. I am glad you vented and hope you feel better.

[eroller]

This type of behavior makes me sick. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. No one has the right to behave in such a way. Pure trash!

 

I think you handled yourself admirably. I'm not so sure I could have been as composed. The logical side of me would say brush it off and move on. The vengeful side of me would want to do everything in my power to make their cruise a living hell. Chances are my actions would be somewhere in between.

 

It seems the older I get the less tolerant I become of bad behavior. Thankfully in over 70 cruises (only one a gay charter), I have never had such an experience. I hope I never do.

 

Ernie

[cassieroll]

Some people are closed-minded a-holes. I'm so sorry your experience was so horrible. Had we been on board, we would have loved to share a table with you!

[ikelmay]

I am surprised and disappointed at your story, not least because of the maitre d's reaction in reseating the other couples. I would have been very interested to hear his logic and argument for his actions after not being able to assist you.

 

If it's any consolation, this kind of incident on cruise ships is very rare and as you can see, can occur on any line. Please don't let this put you off cruising as usually most fellow cruisers are very easy going and welcoming.

[robtx100]

I agree with the responses regarding the maitre d's actions were prejudicial. You requested a different table first without success, but he "understood" why the other couples wanted to move and gave them a different table. ?? He should be fired. As for the restroom incident, I'm not sure I would have held my tongue with her spreading false rumors like that.

[Snorkel Dawg]

My first cruise was on Celeb Century. My wife & I were seated at a large table with 2 other straight couples & a young gay male couple. I'm being totally honest here...at first I felt a little wierd, or awkward. I don't have much contact or any experience with any gay men. But after a couple nights of interesting conversation and funny stories we had all become friends and our entire dinner table ended up hanging out together on the last couple of islands. And We had a great time together!

 

To me a big part of cruising or traveling in general is just meeting new people from different walks of life, learning how life is different yet we all want the same thing..to laugh, to live & to love.

 

 

Do not let this one bad experience sour you on cruising, I can truly say we have met some of the most wonderful people cruising.

[SNAGuy]

I wonder if you could let Celebrity know of the incident and see what their response is???

 

Please do let Celebrity know what happened. Celebrity ships and their parent company RCCL ships and Azamara Quest are most of the ones used for the largest gay charter company. This year alone there were at least 6 cruises on their ships that are fully chartered.

 

The crew for these charters FIGHT to be ON these ships during the charters because they know that the average spend per passenger is far greater than on a regular cruise. This Maitre D' needs to be reported.

 

Please keep us informed on what response you get if you decide to send Celebrity a letter or email about this unfortunate incident.

[etoile]

My partner and I sailed on Summit with a Pied Piper group and had absolutely no problems; we have been on other celebrity ships as well and enjoyed ourselves immensely. I would say this was an anomaly but definitely something that should be addressed with Celebrity.

[spav01]

Mom, you are terrific. And I am sorry that you had to hear such nonsense. I too am on the Summit this Saturday for the Transatlantic. God help the person who gives me grief for being me. I simply don't and won't tolerate that nonsense. I suspect it will be a perfectly delightful cruise, but forewarned is forearmed.

[NorCalCruiseGuy]

Please do let Celebrity know what happened. Celebrity ships and their parent company RCCL ships and Azamara Quest are most of the ones used for the largest gay charter company. This year alone there were at least 6 cruises on their ships that are fully chartered.

 

The crew for these charters FIGHT to be ON these ships during the charters because they know that the average spend per passenger is far greater than on a regular cruise. This Maitre D' needs to be reported.

 

Please keep us informed on what response you get if you decide to send Celebrity a letter or email about this unfortunate incident.

 

You can pretty much be sure Celebrity will do nothing about this incident. They don't want to "rock the boat", so to speak.

[NorCalCruiseGuy]

You are a wonderful, loving mother. We are all proud of you!

 

Sad to say, that behavior is not so uncommon on land, so we can't assume it won't happen on a ship. Living in the San Francisco Bay Area we sometimes think we live in a bubble, imune to the bigoted, hurtful words and actions of people like the ones you described. But sadly, that is not always the case. These people are everywhere. All we can do is act with dignity and be who we are, and not make any excuses or apologies for it.

 

I am looking forward to our sailing on the Solstice this week. I will proudly introduce my husband (were were married in San Francisco City Hall on September 5, 2008) and make no apologies.

 

Paul

[wripro]

I too am sorry for the experience you had on the Summit. Personally, I would have gone over to the maitre d' with a $100 bill in my hand and waved it in his face saying, "This is what I would have given you if you had moved us instead of those four bigots."

[quepaquete]

by a gay couple!!

Partner and I were on a HAL cruise, with partner's father and step-mother. Yes, we travel together!! On the first evening, all four of us, were sitting at a large diner table when this young guys came, and just looked at us, we said hello, they did not respond, then looked at each other and left. Well, their loss. We still had a wonderful time.

 

My point is that we all can be treated rudely by either gays or str8s.

 

To the OP, you sound like a wonderful MOM. Sorry, you had to deal with such sour experience.

[voyagerx]

We have been on 10 cruises on Celebrity: 7 by ourselves and 3 with a gay group and experienced only one negative incident. I have told this story here before. On a Xatlantic crossing we had trouble with the CD, who tried to ignore our request for a FOD meeting. Finally, after a week, he scheduled one in a hard to find bar with a violently homophobic bartender. Several people showed up but we all left because of the "attitude." The bartender threw an empty beer bottle at a me. I reported it to the VIP hostess who took us out for drinks, apologized, and, the next day we received an invitation to dine with the captain.

 

Don't fume. Complain and keep on complaining till you get satisfaction.

[themnms]

This is probably going to be long but I have to get this off my chest.

I just returned from The Summit. Traveled from NY to San Juan with my mother, myself, My 22 year old (med student) son and his 24 yr old partner. Both well mannered, polite, charming and handsome (ok, so I'm biased, but there is a point...) we had planned a family vacation and a romantic time for them all in one...I shared suite with my mother so not so much romance for me but thats another story.... Anyway...........

All seemed fine until our 1st dinner, table for 8 seating the 4 of us and 2 straight couples late 40s & early 50s traveling together. Friendly chit chat etc although I noticed a few sideways glances at the boys (who I thought were oblivious, since they were eating like they were starving!)

The area was very loud so halfway throuhg dinner I spoke to the maitre d' about getting a different table. Unfortunatly, I was told that there wasn't anywhere else for a group of 4 to be seated. I returned to the table and continued the chatter with our table mates but my mother told be she overheard some disgustingly derogatory comments about the boys. I then noticed that they had changed their seating so that the 2 women were sitting near the boys now....Mind you, we were all sitting politely eating and talking; not drunk or rude in any way...I felt my head getting ready to spin and I so wanted to throw my water in their face....but, I didn't wan't to make a scene, so we excused ourselves politely.

Next night before dinner I spoke to maitre d' again to see if they had found us a new table but was told the same thing, no space. then I explained the prior night's experience, the maitre d' went away for a moment and when he returned he told me that our tablemates had requested a change after dinner the previous night so a table for 4 was created for THEM elsewhere. We now sat at a huge table by ourselves like we had plague but the homophobes were gone so whatever.....

next night at the blackjack table one of the men sat next to me without noticing...I rather loudly said (to no one in particular) that it seemed that there were many ignorant closed minded individuals on board and the jerk got up and literally ran away saying "I don't want to play at this table anyway". We had had a few drinks so we practically pee'd ourselves over that one.

Still later in the week I was in the ladies room while my son waited for me outside. Several women came in, talking about my son while they waited on line. One said "we were seated with them the 1st night, they were all over each other" (lying cow!) another answered that "that was disgusting and that homosexuals should not be allowed onboard, public pools!" The 1st one said, "the matre d' understood and he moved us right away".

At that point I came out to wash my hands - if looks could kill I'd be in jail right now ... all 3 dropped their eyes and ran out of the bathroom.

I was furious and I know the boys were upset by this whole thing ...their so young, not as thick skinned as some....Gay or straight we do understand that certain behaviors are innappropriate in public, it's not like they were having sex on the table for god's sake! They were just sitting there attempting polite (yet boring) dinner conversation.

...I know bigotry exists but it was just awful, I've never experienced it firsthand.......sorta turned me off cruising, but it wasn't the cruiseline but the clientele. I know there are specific "gay cruises" but Why should they not enjoy whatever trip they choose just because some middle american ***** can't cope?

Any comments? I'm afraid I sound like a fool myself but I just had to rant...

I would be upset also, but this could also happen anywhere..I am so sorry you went though this but please dont let it put you off cruising!!!