amyemilia

My first solo cruise (after my husband passed away in 2020) was in 2021 with Royal Caribbean, to Alaska. I had a great time, although I did feel just a bit lost and teary at the first dinner in the MDR. That empty plate across from me was a heartbreaker. So I cried a little, and then the server brought my Prosecco, and I toasted my dear departed. This is life and I'm lucky to be here to enjoy it. I found it was a good idea to bring a book, even if you don't end up reading it. That will serve as a placeholder when you need to step away from your chair/table for some reason. I signed up for a photo package since I had no one that I could reliably give my camera to. Ship photographers were everywhere on the Alaska cruise and I'm glad I spent that money. I did not feel bored, but then I almost never do anyway. Good luck and enjoy! Alaska is so much more beautiful than I expected - definitely worth a second trip!

You can do it!

You are right, planning solo cruising is a poignant experience. I found myself putting off the decisions that needed to be made. My husband and I were usually very sedate travelers due to his infirmities. We usually found a garden to walk through, and then did a wander around the port area. Now that I can do more physically demanding things, I still find myself leaning towards the simple way we traveled before. Dining was especially difficult on the first night in the MDR, with the empty seat across from me. But the neighboring tables were kind, and the next night was easier. I confided to my server that this was my first solo cruise after my husband’s passing, and she was so solicitous. Do what is right for you in your stage of grieving. It’s been two years for me, and it is still sometimes hard. My personal motto “memento audare sempre” (remember always to dare) applies here, reminding me to push my personal comfort boundaries.

I too am a recent widow (my husband died in 2020). My first cruise after he died was somewhat difficult, particularly the first few days. That first night at dinner, sitting across from an empty plate was a heartbreaker. I wondered how I was going to get through the whole cruise without crying at dinner every night. But then the server came by and I ordered my normal glass of Prosecco, and I raised my glass to the life that we had together, and the memories. You will get through this too. Here are the things that worked for me: I signed up for a ship excursion at every port. I knew I would be safe, that I would be with a group, and that something interesting would happen that day. Mostly I kept to myself, but if couples looked like they needed a photo together, I offered to help. I complimented hats, asked where they got their backpacks and how they liked them. As another commenter suggested, talk to crew members. I often start with learning where they are from. On a recent cruise, I discovered my server was from Montenegro. This is a country that I knew nothing about, so we chatted about it and I read up on it in Wikipedia. I was able to ask intelligent questions, which delighted him. I like to practice my Italian with anyone who will tolerate it. 🙂 Standing at the rail at anytime, but particularly when there is something interesting going on, is excellent for starting initial conversations. My goal is not to create friendships, but simple human interaction. A smile, a friendly wave if I recognize someone from an excursion - that’s enough for me. Being a creature of habit helps. Sit at the same table, go to the same bar. Drink the same drink. Be recognizable, so that others will be able to wave at you, too! Be sure to have a notebook and writing instrument with you, to save a table or when you go get refills at the buffet. I’ve also had success with asking if I sit at a large table with others, although during this covid-recovery process that hasn’t been as easy. Since that first cruise as a widow in 2021, I’ve been on 4 other cruises. Each has been wonderful and soothing to my hurting heart. I remember how we watched the flying fish, and I visit the places that my husband loved to visit. It is hard but it is also healing. Like you, I have signed up for a world cruise in 2023 (well, one leg of a world cruise!). I am looking forward to new ports, new memories. Be kind to yourself! Amy

I'm a independent cruiser (love that!) and really enjoy my alone time. Agree with sitting at the bar, but I also found that going to the MDR every evening was beneficial. I got to meet the folks around me and the staff was generally very friendly and helpful. On one of my Alaska cruises, I chatted so much with the folks at the next table that we declared ourselves a family group and ate together after that. Staff wasn't crazy about it but they adapted. I also found that people are more willing to chat when we are watching something on deck - a whale, or an approaching island, or the sunset. I'm mostly on RCL and Celebrity.