Need advise on treating adult children to a cruise.

[BabsterA]

My mom and I had a cruise scheduled last year, but she unexpectedly passed away a couple of months before the scheduled trip. I cancelled that booking because I couldn't face that voyage without her. On the spur of the moment, I called my son and his GF to see if they'd like to take a cruise with me the week after my originally planned trip. Oh my gosh, it was the best vacation we've ever had.

 

The girlfriend had never been on a 'family vacation' and we did it up right. Met at the airport by a limo service (a first for her), a balcony suite for them (after being told they would have an inside), an aft suite for me. We snorkeled, we went to a wildlife park with lots of monkeys, we ate, we drank, we laughed...we had a ball!

 

I'm grateful I was in the position to do this for them. It was a celebration of my mom's life and an opportunity to create memories for all of us. They are cruising with me again next year and - now that they've been on their first cruise - they know what they are looking forward to! Since they'd never cruised before and didn't hang out on the cruise boards, they had NO idea what a treat they were going to have.

 

The OP best knows what the grown kids can and can't afford in the way of plane tickets and onboard expenses and will make the right decision. Whether they spring the surprise now or at Christmas, they will have a wonderful experience with plenty of the fun 'anticipation' time!

 

I will always be grateful that my last conversation with my mom was two hours on the phone while we explored our ship 'virtually', planned our excursions, discussed what to wear (and NOT to wear), etc. I'm a firm believer in grabbing every opportunity to enjoy life with those I love!

[COMBOY]

I think you should tell them upfront that you booked a family vacation and dates you plan to go so there is no conflicting events (wedding, birthdays, etc.) that happen during the same time with "specific details" to follow at Xmas. That's give a certain level of excitement and surprise during the holidays. Also for some there are certain times of the year or month that it's difficult to take time of from work so it best to know upfront so you can adjust your departure date if needed. At Christmas you can surprise them with a brochure of the Oasis wrapped in a Christmas gift box. You can also put in their stocking a RCCL OBC which they can use for drinks and miscellaneous during the cruise. You can determine the amount that best fits your budget. If they want to spend more than the OBC then "they" should pay for it themselves. They're adults now and have jobs and I think that more than reasonable. You should just go ahead prepay everyones gratuities upfront with your cruise fare.

[Bigtex1622]

I agree with the above poster, tell them dates now and the details later. Also do not worry about buying them anymore. If you bought them a car, you would not be expected to buy the insurance and gas. The cruise is a wonderful gift. You are great parents.

[Boo's Mom]

Just to let everyone know that neither of them have a significant other. Sharing a room would not be a problem. Our daughter has a full time job and our son is graduating from college this coming December and will be taking a couple of courses to fulfill requirements that he will need to continue on to grad school over the next year. They both have birthdays in January also. Any other ideas. Keep them coming, I am really getting a lot of ideas and appreciate your help.

 

I would wait until Christmas, and surprise them ! :D

 

Not knowing the family dynamics involved,

.... will your adult children want to do all of the port days with you?

 

With January birthdays...

you could give them one excursion each, as a birthday gift?

Of course, this could depend on the dollar amount of the excursions.

Make yourself nice gift certificates.

 

If you do any other holiday gifts throughout the year,

other than birthday...

you could also fund excursions this way.

 

For example, you could purchase them each a gift certificate for their birthdays. At some point after their birthday, you could have a family gathering...and talk about excursions.

ie: we want to do this in Cozumel. What do ya'll want to do?

Perhaps brother & sister want to go off on their own one day and do something a little adventurous than mom and dad might like?

 

I think that gifting the cruise is great.

But, allow them some choices....

because of their ages.

 

I also think that requiring them to pay for some portion (however small) is a good thing. Especially with your daughter working full time.

Your son, I'm sure... is resourceful. As smart as he is, I am sure that he can

find ways to fund a small portion on his own.

 

How exciting !

Have fun!!

[Boo's Mom]

PS. If you have relatives that purchase christmas and birthday gifts for your children, ... and you want to share the cruise information with them,...a gift certificate would be very easy for them to do !

And...would certainly be welcomed and used !

 

The perfect gift!

[Johnny Yen]

I am in need of expert advise on treating our two adult children to a cruise so I have come to the experts.

 

MY DH and I are currently booked on the Oasis for this coming June. We decided last week to book a room for our two children daughter (26) and son (23). We have booked them an inside cabin. We have not told them that we have done this. Here is what I need help with. We were going to wait until Christmas and tell them that we did this. Now we are wondering if we should tell them now so it will give them more time to save up money for spending. Do we have them pay for excursions or do we treat? How much money do you think they might need on their account while on the ship? Can they each have their own account attached to their sea pass even though they are in the same room?

 

 

I wish my in-laws were as generous as you are! Your kids are very lucky. Ps pay for their excursions.

[mechcc]

DH and I have done this a few times with variations. Kids/spouses & grandkids, kids/spouses & no grandkids. I always felt that if I were giving this gift to them, I needed to make it a complete gift. We paid air, cruise and tips. At that point, everything is paid for that NEEDS to be paid for. If they want excursions, booze, souveniers, etc. they pay for those. The only requirement for us paying this much is that we ate together as a family every night for dinner. During the day, they could do whatever they wanted. Hang with us or do their own thing. All the kids/spouses & grandkids were very appreicative of the gift they received.

I so agree with you as everything that you have given them a full vacation at no cost to them. If they want more than they pay.

Saying that they pay for extra's means they have to budget. Oh Darn!

[PrincesScuba]

Hello!

 

We took our kids on a cruise last January, They are a bit younger, 22 & 23, and both still students, they also each bought a traveling companion. We paid all travel expenses and excursions for all four & covered the cost of food and travel in the ports, they were responsible for bar tabs, casino and purchases like coach bags, smokes, booze.

 

We had a fantastic time and i'm sure you will too. I recommend you talk things out in advance, it would be wonderful to surprise them but as others have mentioned there are many things they may need to plan too. Cruising is affordable but the extras add up quickly as i'm sure you know. I personally feel you should cover the costs of excursions or what ever you do on land, it's part of the trip.

 

Hope that was helpful, and have a blast!

 

Diana

 

Is that legal in the States now? ;) :eek: :) :D

[mmacdcc]

We treated our 3 adult children & daughter in law to the Eastern Caribbean on the IOS in Jan 2009. We opted for the RFS. We told them right away but they all knew this was their Xmas present.

 

We're taking our son, DIL and her son this winter on the Navigator. We told them ahead of time, because I wanted to make sure my son could get vacation time, and we booked the RFS as well. I didn't cover the entire cost - they booked their own airfare and hotel in Miami (they're going a few days earlier than we are), and I didn't cover the entire cost of the cruise, but they only paid me a minimal amount.

 

I'll cover their shipboard charges for alcohol and specialty restaurants, and I'll put everybody on my credit card, and they can pay me back for any other charges.

 

I'm also planning on buying at least one nice formal portrait for them.

 

My son was in the Navy for 9 yrs, this will be the first time he's been on a ship and not been working.

[kuddles14]

Thank you everyone for your help. We have talked in terms of hypotheticals to our kids since the entire family is planning a big family trip in 2011 so we were able to fish around about this coming June. Our daughter informed us that she doesn't have to schedule vacation time way in advance. Apparently only needs a few weeks notice if that. (She works for Bank of American in collecions!!!!) Our son will be graduating in December from College but will not walk until May so we will have a graduation party for him then. I would think he will put some money away from that. He is hoping his internship will turn into a full time job for him this December and would be able to get vacation time with pay. If not he will be taking it without pay and I'm sure Mom and Dad will help out if that's the case. If not he will be working as a server down at the Jersey shore so he can attend grad school. With all of that said. My husband and I will be waiting to give them the cruise at Christmas. I liked the idea of getting gift certificates from Royal for OBC for them. I am sure we will do that for them for Christmas and their Birthdays. I also liked the person that surprised her children at the end of cruise with a zero balance. We will take that under consideration. The only thing that we will ask of our kids is that we all meet up for dinner and maybe do one excursion together as a family.

 

Thank you so very much for sharing your experiences and suggestions with me. I knew I came to the right place for advice. Happy cruising to everyone!!!!!!:D

 

Kathy

[chaswelf]

My wife and I took all our kids (27,25,23,18) and our 27 and 23 year old significant others.

 

We didn't do this as a gift like for xmas. We offered and if they wanted to come it was their choice, of course they all said yes.

 

We paid for the cruise fare and airfare for all. They were all responsible for everything else.

 

For xmas before the cruise we gave them all $100 OBC as a gift.

 

This division of costs worked great for us, plus gave us the latitude to pick up other costs for the group along the way on a case by case basis if we wanted to, which we did a couple of times. The one major one was the flowrider. Since we had 8 in the group I rented it for an hour for just our family, best money I ever spent.

 

I think the key is your know your family. Just set the cost expectations with them that fit your situation and then have a great time.

[misty57]

We took our two sons in their 20's on a cruise this past January as an early college graduation gift for both of them. We had enough air miles to cover airfare and enough OBC from booking on board and from our VISA card to pay for everything else. Gratuities were prepaid also, and we bought them each a soda package. They had a great time, but I guess I expected more gratitude :rolleyes:. Our oldest was more interested in talking to his girlfriend and being on the internet ( when he wasn't in the bars :()

He also nibbled away more than his fair share of the OBC!!!

I wouldn't do it again, but every family is different, so if you can afford it then cover all of the expenses so that you can all have a good time together. As far as the vacation time at work is concerned, every employer is different, it depends on the rules. I know that if I want a particular week off, I had better request it as soon as I know.. even a year away because only a certain number of people can be off at a time. It would be bad to have a cruise reserved and then find out they couldn't have the time off... or have already used all of their vacation time. I would find out before I decided when to let them know about the trip.

[MszKitty]

It would be bad to have a cruise reserved and then find out they couldn't have the time off... or have already used all of their vacation time.

 

We would take our two adult daughters (29 & 24) on more cruises with us, but they use up their vacation time in little 1/2/3 day segments. For our last "family" cruise, our only option was 4 days over Labor Day weekend because our oldest only had 2 vacation days she could use. I told them both to save their vacation days so we could do a Med cruise next year, but they said there's no way they could go a whole year without some time off to go somewhere. (especially my oldest...she's always flying here and there, a day here a day there, visiting friends all across the country)

[fendbass]

My mom did something very similiar for my brothers and I, our wives, and their kids (a total of 14), plus my neice's boyfriend, who is almost a family member anyway. MY folks are in their 80's, and wanted to have one more family gathering

 

My mom told us of the February cruise in October. She got the adults Oceanview cabins, and the younger ones interiors. Of course, the first thing my youngest brother an I did was to upgrade to balconies, and talked Mom into doing the same. She also paid for the plane fare down from New England for the other family members.

 

We just couldn't have had a better time, we took the Granduer out of Tampa to Key West and Cozumel. It was good to see my brothers and their famlies, and they just had a blast.

 

I couldn't disagree more with the posters who said mom should pay the entire freight, again, without knowing the family dynamiics. If their guests can't make it for some reason or another, then respectfully decline, but, the offer was certainly very generous, and in our case, more than we ever expected.

[chaswelf]

This is quite an interesting thread and it really shows how each of our families are different.

[djhuff]

The last cruise I went on was with my mother. She shared a cabin with my sister, and bought the wife and I our own (both balconies, right next door to each other).

 

All she paid for was our cruise fare, we took care of everything else. the wife and I bought excursions for everyone at one stop for Christmas. I also tried pretty hard to purchase as many drinks and specialty restaurants as possible, but mom was pretty quick on the trigger to have her card out (actually kind of turned into a game).

[SingingPixie]

I'm one of the lucky adult "kids" who's going on a family cruise paid for by her parents. My mom and dad are paying for cruise fare, airfare, and the pre-cruise hotel night in Fort Lauderdale for myself (25) my brother (23) and our significant others. We're all in interior cabins on Independence. We're responsible for incidentals, excursions, and tips.

 

The only kink is that my brother hasn't yet been able to find a job since finishing his Bachelors this summer. Hopefully he'll have a job by then, but if not, I could see my mom helping with his excursion costs, at least on a loan basis- I can't see her letting him stay on the ship while we all go off and take an excursion without him, just because it's really tough to find a job fresh out of school in this economy.

[spammie]

We just got back from our first "family cruise". I had originally booked 2 balcony cabins next to each other on Liberty of The Seas for May 2009. This was my 23 year old daughter's college graduation gift and my 21 year old son's birthday present. (Any excuse for a cruise :) ) Unfortunately we found out in January that my husband had Stage IV base of tongue cancer and would have to endure 7 weeks of daily radiation, 7 weeks of chemo and would not be able to swallow or eat for a while and would need a feeding tube. I cancelled the cruise and re-booked for August figuring he would be done treatments and we would have an even better reason for celebration. So I booked the Liberty of The Seas for August 22nd. With price drops and residency discounts I was able to get 2 connecting Junior Suites right on the "hump". We covered every expense including a stretch Cadillac Escalade to get us from the Miami Port to the Ft. Lauderdale airport. It was the best time ever! We all enjoyed ourselves so much and I truly feel blessed for the time we had together. So far hubby's scans have been clean and the feeding tube was removed July 6th. You never know what tomorrow has in store for you! Enjoy your cruise! Wanda

 

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it"s about learning how to dance in the rain." anonymous

[stipmom]

I am taking my adult children and their spouses in January.The cruise is there holiday present( Although they know I will still buy them something anyway) I originally booked inside cabins for them but my son's wife wanted a balcony so they were going to pay the difference. When the balcony cabins came down significantly in price I told them we will give it to them as an anniversary present.My daughter and her husband will be in a balcony for the first time.

 

I told them they would pay their airfare because some of them had miles but the air to San Juan was less than anticipated so we picked that up as well.

 

My son and his wife are flying down a day early, my daughter is not. We will be paying for his hotel room.

 

We have OBC which will cover tips. I told them they should each choose an excursion to do with their father and make that his holiday gift. If we are taking cabs in port I am sure we will pick up the tab and will also buy a few of the dinner drinks but their onboard expenses are theirs. If they want an alternative restaurant or a spa experience I don't see why I would have to include that. They are very happy with those arrangements.

[MAHA]

We have taken our adult sons on family cruises since our first in 2003. Our oldest was 22 and almost finished college with a degree in Chemical Enginnering. The other 2 were 18 and 12. We went again in 2004 with the boys being 23, 19 and 13. Again in 2007, they were 26, 22 and 16. This summer we went on FOS and they were 28, 24 and 18. The oldest now has a Master's in Chemical Engineering, but was in school part time until December 2008. He also just bought a house. The middle son is just finishing up school. The yougest just started college. They do not have the means to be able to go on a cruise yet. Also we know that eventually, they will have their own spouses and families, so we treasure the family time spent on a cruise. So far, we have always paid for their cabin (they share one), shore excursions and drinks before dinner (soda card for the youngest). This summer we also paid for the night before hotel and the airfare and rental car. It was the first time we had flown to a cruise port. The older ones have always been responsible for souvenirs, drinks during the day and night, any other onboard charges, such as the casino. The youngest was repsonsible for his arcade chargesand souvenirs. This year, he also was responsible for any casino charges. For Christmas last year, our oldest gave us gift certificates to be used for onboard credit towards our seapass account, with the promise not to use it towards their drinks before dinner, etc. This summer was the first one where we actually did different shore excursions and met up before dinner for drinks and many times trivia in the Schooner Bar. We had dinner together and then went our own ways. We did treat them to Portofino's as we had enjoyed it so much in 2007. In 2007, they had sent us a nice bottle of champagne for dinner at Portofino's as they had planned to send us to dinner, but I won dinner for 2 during a Meet and Mingle. You have to see what you are willing to pay for above the cruise fare as to me a cruise itself is a huge gift.

[solay]

My parents pay for both my brother and myself. They pay for an inside cabin, which is a WONDERFUL present! We treasure the time we spend together. This year, my brother and I decided to upgrade to a balcony...but we paid the price difference. We are on our own as far as everything else. I can't imagine a gift of more than the cost of a cruise! This year, I'm paying for the shore excursions for my folks as a surprise present...we already talked about what we are going to do, but they usually wait until on board to purchase the excursions. Can't wait to let them know onboard that everyting is taken care of!

[Colorado Kat]

Boy, there are some wonderful people on this list! A family vacation together sounds perfect. Time spent together is way better than physical presents. I hope everyone has a tremendous vacation.

[pharaoh]

I'm doing the opposite for my mom. We're heading out this summer for our first cruise in a LOOONG time. We're each paying our own fare. She doesn't know it yet, but I'm planning to cover excursions and drinks and incidentals, etc. I want her to have a fun time without having to worry about the money! Plus, she doesn't drink much so her tab shouldn't be too high :)

 

But if she goes diamond shopping, she's on her own.

[brigycruisin]

The first cruise I went on was a gift from my parents -- My BF (now DH) was temporarily unemployed and I was working as an actress, so while adults we were definitley on a budget. They paid for airfare and the cruise and told us we'd be on our own for everything else, which was fine by us. However, they kept buying us drinks, so we didn't end up having to pay for any alcohol, and the only other purchase we made was a soda package (rookie mistake) and a travel sewing kit. It was very generous and we certainly would not have been able to go otherwise.

 

Now that it's turned a yearly thing and we are much better employed, we make an effort to buy more rounds of drinks and pay for the occasional meal. Iagree with other posters that you should cover all travel and gratuities, but make incidentals up to them.

[pboedeker]

My husband and I have done this several times. We've taken the extended family and enjoyed 7 day Family Reunions! We always pay for the cruise and airfare. Sometimes we pay for pre-cruise hotel if needed. Sometimes we pay for hotel to port transportations. Excursion and onboard purchases are always the responsibility of the passenger.

 

We usually give this gift as a Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary/Easter/Mother's Day/Father's Day, etc. gift. We try and plan it over Spring Break to accomodate as many schedules as possible. We "give" the gift in August though, so that all of the family members have a chance to work their schedules around it!

 

Pretty much have 95% acceptance rates on the gift!