Advice needed about bringing along a 15 year old niece.

[globalwife]

I want some thoughts about pros and cons about bringing along our niece on a cruise.

 

To give you some details, we are going on a 7 night cruise departing Colombia with 5 ports and one sea day. None of us have ever cruised before but thanks to this forum and another one in Spanish, I feel very educated about what to expect and so forth. It is an all inclusive (including drinks) cruise with Pullmantur. DH is 38 years old and I am 30. We don´t have any kids of our own.

 

Our niece is 15, mature, top of her class, never had a boyfriend nor have any guy friends (goes to an all girls school). She is Colombian (so is my husband). She is the older sister to a 12 year old boy that is very handicapped so she rarely gets the attention that I feel she deserves. Taking him is not an option even though we would love to.

 

We have had our room booked for a few months now and are very excited but we just found out that kids up to 16 years old can go free with us (only pay port fees so it would cost $210 for her). We don´t expect to incure any expenses while on the cruise since it is all included and there arn´t any speciality restaurants. We are doing our own thing at the ports like taking the bus in Aruba to get to Palm beach. If we decide to do this, we would pay the port fee (she graduates HS this year so it would be an early graduation present) and ask her to use the money she got as her 15th Bday for spending money on the cruise and at ports. She still has about $600 left. She knows all about our cruise and she thinks it is so exciting (she has no idea we are thinking about inviting her). She has never been out of Colombia. She has two Colombian aunts and Uncles that live in the US and 5 cousins there so she has always wanted to travel. We know space will be more cramped (we have a superior interior cabin booked) but the thought of how much joy it could bring her really excites me. DH and I are a tad bit worried about the responsibility involved. Obviously we still have to talk to her parents to see if it is even an option but we really want to think it out before mentioning anything.

 

PLEASE HELP with advice from your own experiences. Is having a 15 year old tag along hard work or is it worth it in the end? what would you do if you knew you could bring along a 15 year old on an all-inclusive 7 night trip for only $210?

[cb at sea]

If she's as mature as you say, I don't think she'd bit a bit of a problem! Of course, you'll lay some "ground rules" for her on the ship--like not going to anyone else's cabin, you have to know where she is at all times,...things like that!

You certainly won't let her off the ship without you for any reason....sounds like you would ALL have a great time!

[notentirelynormal]

I think what you've got planned seems perfect. It sounds like she's due for something special just for her and that you are the ones to give it to her. I did something similar for my 18 YO niece. I knew her parents couldn't afford to do anything so we took her on our Panama cruise with our family. She had a great time, paid her purchase expenses and basically I paid everything else. That was about 10 years ago and she still is grateful for the opportunity that we gave her.

[jhdoublin]

1. I think this is very generous of you.

 

2. Don't assume because she is a good kid at home- she wouldn't try something or be talked into it. You said you don't have kids?

 

3. Set the rules upfront- check on her often to see she is abiding by them and then cut her slack. And then go back and check on her again!

 

I took my 15 year old nephew because his parents are too into their "own" time vacations- he had a wonderful time, he is a good kid, I checked on him often. We all made it back and it's a great memory for all of us.

[globalwife]

Thanks all! I am pretty sure we can make it work but DH still worries about her throwing off our schedule by taking so long to get ready or her throwing a big fit.

 

Exactly, we are not parents so that is exactly why I am posting here for opinions. I have 10 years experience volunteering and working with teens and for teh past two years I have been a teacher but I know that can be very different than being the one in charge.

 

Question- Do the Teen clubs allow the kids to self check in and out how ever they want or does an adult have to come for them?

[topspot]

My experience has been teen clubs allow the teens to sign themseves in and out. Just set your rules. We took DD and friend last year. They were permitted to go to the club or the lido for ice cream. If they wanted to do anything else, they had to check in first. Whenever we checked on them, they were always where they said they would be. With only one sea day, it doesn't seem like you will have to worry about too much free time on the ship. Just the evenings after dinner:rolleyes:

[globalwife]

Well, we decided it would be a good idea to invite her so ran it by her parents (SIL and BIL) and at first they said thank you so much and needed to talk it over. Now today they told us "NO"! Hubby asked them to reconcider and let us know on Monday. I am shocked! Hubby said they didn't give a reason but I still can't believe it. Good thing my niece never knew or I bet she would be furious with her parents. And like I told DH, thank God they arn't my parents!

[karenem]

Oh, no! How sad and frustrating. I hope they reconsider--a trip like this would be such a huge deal for a teen who hasn't traveled much and is likely cast in the shadows by the needs of her younger brother.

[pg.]

How small minded of her parents.. very wrong of them to deny her an opportunity,, and I find it hard to imagine a good reason for saying no.. but I can imagine a few stupid ones.

 

How nice of you to offer.. I am sure it would have been wonderful for her,, and I doubt very much if it would have been any extra work for you.. we have taken our three kids cruising ( 11, 15, 17) and it was pretty stress free. She is not a 5 yr old,, so I have no idea why anyone would think she would "have fits".