Kinda Feeling Bad About Leaving Kid's Behind

[hpyoho]

Me and DH are going on a cruise in June on the Ecstasy to celebrate our 10th anniversary. We dated 6 six years before that. Well, we decided to do something on our own this year. My kids are 6 and 3 and we love them dearly, we just wanted to do something together, so we are leaving them at home.

 

I have a great set of in laws who have agreed to keep the kids and grandma already babysits for me during the day. So I know they will be in good hands. I already talked to my babies and they informed me we could stay gone longer if we wanted to!

This is my first cruise and I am super excited! The problem is I was just talking to one of my friends and she was saying, "OMG, we would never take a vacation without our kids". I know she was just joking with me, but now it kinda has me feeling bad about doing something for ourselves. It's not like we don't do things with our kids. Heck last year we went to Disney World for 8 dang days.

 

I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but that damn mother guilt is creeping in! I'm sure I'm not the only one facing this issue. How do you guys deal with it?

[Traveler353]

Don't let it bother you. You have earned the time alone with each other. Go, enjoy and have a great cruise.

[Warm Breezes]

We take our kids on the cruises because that is their favorite form of vacation and we take mini-trips (4-5 days) every couple of years for just the 2 of us - usually out west. We try to take at least one 7 day + vacation a year with kids. We make it a family decision where we go. On years that don't take a mini-vacation for the 2 of us we at least try to get away for a weekend. I think having those small vacations for just the 2 of us are just as important as having family vacations. You need that balance of alone and family time for a healthy marriage. Don't feel guilty. Just make sure you have something planned for your family that they can look forward to too.

[DocJohnB]

DO NOT! I repeat, DO NOT let the "mother guilt" that your friend "inadvertently" thrust upon you ruin yours and your hubbies time together.

 

I am sure some mothers out there will disagree with me, or even "blast" me, but so be it. I speak as a former kid, a father and a grandfather. There are times when you need to enjoy yourself "sans" kiddies. It doesn't mean you love them any less (nor any more for that fact). It is about you.

 

Now you have already stated that the kiddies are good with it (their approval). Your in-laws are good with it (their approval), and you are more than comfortable leaving the kiddies with the in-laws (your approval). You don't need the approval or disapproval of any friends, nor for that matter any of us here (:p).

 

Go on the cruise and enjoy yourself. Your kiddies are in good hands. If you feel it is necessary, ring them up from in-port and say hi and "luv you" and if you can drop an email. They will love it. Make a map and let them keep track of where you are.

 

Just do it!!!!!!

[maureencruiser]

Hi, Don't feel guilty, you deserve a vacation-you can take the kids next time. Just be aware, a Carnival ship in June is going to be crawling with kids, I bet. Will that make it worse for you, seeing other people's kids. If so, bring the kids and have your "alone time" when school is in session and there won't be so many other kids around making you feel guilty...Maureen

[MrsZee]

We spent our first cruise without our son, who was one at the time. I missed him and called too much, but I enjoyed it. Don't feel guilty, your kids won't know what they are missing. You can feel a little sad to be away from them, but I can tell you from first had experience that you will survive. :)

[mom2isabella05cole08]

First off, don't feel guilty! You and DH deserve time alone and it will help your family stay strong and healthy.

 

Now, of course, I say that as someone who lets that mommy guilt get to me way too often. DS just turned 1 in Dec and DD will be 5 in July, and DH and I have YET to take a vacation without them. Of course, most of our vacations to date have been visiting family. Shoot, the first time we spent a NIGHT away from DD she was almost two, DH and I both had a hard time that first night. And because I nursed both kids for a year, we haven't had a chance to get away since DS was born.

 

Of course, DH has a banquet at the Portofino in Orlando in March and the company has paid for the hotel room. We contemplated bringing the kids with us and hitting Disney the next day, but honestly, we are leaning more towards enjoying that nice over-priced room without the kids. Ultimately, it will depend on whether or not my FIL is in town because I can't justify leaving the kids overnight with a sitter.

 

Oh, and I tried DESPERATELY to get my mom to fly out so DH and I could take a cruise without the kids. She wasn't happy about being left in FL with two kids while we had fun, yet she refuses to go on a cruise with us. And as much as we trust FIL and his girlfriend with DD, they are not comfortable watching both kids for an extended time frame because they both only had one child themselves.

 

So, I say if you have family that the kids are used to and who are willing to watch your kids while you cruise, go and ENJOY it.

[Seafor2]

The best thing I ever did for my kids was leave them at home (or with relatives) while I spent some time alone with my husband. It's good for a marriage. Some day your children will be grown and if your entire marriage has revolved around them then what will your marriage be once you have an empty nest. Instead of "learning" your husband again when your children leave home, keep up with him as your children grow. It is one of the best things you can do for your kids.

 

I have been on 3 cruises without my youngest daughter (my girls are 25 and 7 and I have a 19 year old step-daughter). The first cruise she was just shy of her 3rd birthday. We made a big deal about her having an "Adventure" at her aunt's house. She still talks about that visit (the scrapbook my sister made for her helped. Before I left I put together a book for her and showed her pictures of things she might be doing with her aunt, a picture of the cruise ship we were going on and how long we would be gone. We made it all about a special time she was going to have, not the "we're leaving the kids at home and going off for fun."

 

We had a great time and so did she. Do NOT allow the "Mommy Guilt" to get to you. This is a time you deserve. You are leaving your children in good hands. You'll have a blast. Then sometime later when they are older, you might decided to take them on a cruise....or this might end up being "Mommy and Daddy's special vacation."

 

Have fun and go guilt-free!!!

 

We'll be taking our youngest on her second cruise in July. She loves cruising. We took her in Dec 2008, then we went in Sept 2009 without her and now we're taking her again. She can't wait!

[LizardBeth]

OMG! Don't feel guilty. As they get older (teenagers) they will heap plenty of guilt on you for many other things, including very minor stuff. So, if they are telling you to go and stay longer, DO IT! Have fun and don't lose touch with your husband, eventually those kids will be moving out, sooner than you expect. Besides, everyone is happy with the arrangements, you couldn't ask for a better solution! Go and enjoy!

[CalgonCruiser]

Every couple needs time alone. Trust me, the children are looking forward to staying at Grandma's house, it IS a vacation being there. Enjoy your "we" time.

[wagboss]

Me and DH are going on a cruise in June on the Ecstasy to celebrate our 10th anniversary. We dated 6 six years before that. Well, we decided to do something on our own this year. My kids are 6 and 3 and we love them dearly, we just wanted to do something together, so we are leaving them at home.

 

I have a great set of in laws who have agreed to keep the kids and grandma already babysits for me during the day. So I know they will be in good hands. I already talked to my babies and they informed me we could stay gone longer if we wanted to!

 

This is my first cruise and I am super excited! The problem is I was just talking to one of my friends and she was saying, "OMG, we would never take a vacation without our kids". I know she was just joking with me, but now it kinda has me feeling bad about doing something for ourselves. It's not like we don't do things with our kids. Heck last year we went to Disney World for 8 dang days.

 

I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but that damn mother guilt is creeping in! I'm sure I'm not the only one facing this issue. How do you guys deal with it?

Are you kidding??? They are going on vacation. They are at Gramma's:D

 

Go! Enjoy yourself!

[MyMoses]

We just got back from a cruise with our 2 year old dd and let me tell you, it was not very relaxing. I would have loved to leave her with a grandparent, but we don't have that option. All grandparents still work full-time and live 2,000 miles away from us. It was either take her or have no vacation at all. Don't get me wrong, we still had a great time, but it would have been much easier without her. Don't feel guilty. It's important for you and your hubby to have time to yourselves. As long as they are somewhere safe and comfortable for them, they are going to be just fine. Relax and enjoy having some time to yourself.

[autumnlovers]

Don't feel guilty, you're strengthening your bond as a couple will only benefit your home life upon your return. Loving couples make loving parents. Enjoy the cruise and celebrate your time together, it is something parents rarely get a chance to do:)

[*Luv2Cruz*]

My son (15 years later) is still mad at us for going to Hawaii without him!:eek::p:p

[osiebosie]

Speaking as the BABYSITTING GRAMMY, go away and leave your kids. They'll be in the best hands, they'll have awesome bonding time with their grandparents, and you two will miss them horribly, but will have a fabulous time.

 

The first time is the hardest. We left our two for some alone time, and now my DD leaves my grandson with us. Not a bad lesson to be taught!

 

Shay

[gtalum]

Don't feel bad about it, just make the decision that's best for you. We take our 3 year old everywhere and enjoy it, but that's not for everybody.

[gecko2gecko]

Here's my perspective on it:

 

Being a good mom is one of the most exhausting tasks a person can pursue. It involves far more work than many people will ever imagine. I do the best I possibly can around the clock for 99% of the year...sometimes even multiple years without a break. Occasionally, I need time for me. Taking that time for me (and my husband) not only makes me a happier person, but a happier mom. When I can come back from a break feeling refreshed and recharged, my kids reap the benefits of that as well.

 

Now, I don't like to vacation without my kids all the time because I want them to see the world too. That isn't stopping me from leaving them this Sunday for a week. ;)

[floridacruzin]

Do not feel bad! We have taken vacation without our son. Dont get me wrong, I did have mommy guilt, but in order to keep a strong relationship with your husband and a healthy familly..you need this time, we all do.

 

I hope you have a wonderful time without too much mommy guilt

[Tbay-eh]

I ditto all the posts - it is not like you are leaving them in a back alley to go through garbage pails for food. You are leaving them with some one who loves them and they love and they even say to go. Guilt seems to last a life time - get use to it and enjoy yourself because you will be feeling guilty to some extend - we all do but some of us get over it faster than others. Me for example.

[grneyedgirl]

Every couple needs time alone. Trust me, the children are looking forward to staying at Grandma's house, it IS a vacation being there. Enjoy your "we" time.

 

:D I don't have children, but my nephews and niece have had several experiences at "Camp Aunt Lisa" when their parents are away. We always have a BLAST! I actually look forward to spending that time with them.

 

To the OP--go and have fun!! Your kids will be in good hands. :)

[going2cruz]

I'm sure your kids would want to see their parents stayed married so consider it marriage maintenance and forget about it.

All successful relationships need maintenance and you picked the best therapy!!!

[cuted126]

Here's my perspective on it:

 

Being a good mom is one of the most exhausting tasks a person can pursue. It involves far more work than many people will ever imagine. I do the best I possibly can around the clock for 99% of the year...sometimes even multiple years without a break. Occasionally, I need time for me. Taking that time for me (and my husband) not only makes me a happier person, but a happier mom. When I can come back from a break feeling refreshed and recharged, my kids reap the benefits of that as well.

 

I 100% agree with this!! We are taking our second cruise ALONE this year and I feel 0 guilt about it.

[Seafor2]

Just remember to write a release for them to obtain medical care if necessary for your children in your absence. Be sure both you and your husband sign it and

 

HAVE A GREAT TIME!!!!

Oh...and to your friend who *didn't mean* to make you feel guilty tell her she needs a vacation without her kids, they are getting to her. lol

[diathoney]

Let the kids have fun with their grandparents!

If you take the kids with you, chances are they won't remember it in years. My kids (teens) don't remember half the trips we went on when they were young!

[hpyoho]

Thanks everyone! It just kinda struck me wrong today when she said it. I know she was just teasing me. We do a lot with our kids and I loved being able to see their joy last year at Disney. But man that was the most exhausting vacation EVER and I want this one to be focused on the two of us.

 

I am really looking forward to spending time alone with my best friend/hubby! Thanks for the words of encouragement. It's one of those things that you know your doing ok, but I was just second guessing myself for a moment! Thanks again guys.