What Would Ms. Manners Say?

[AFuncruiser]

To watch my weight and not be tempted by desserts I excuse myself from the dinner table after the main course.

What would Ms Manners say?

Dennis

Jacksonville, Fl

387 days at sea

33 cruises

11 cruise lines

T/P, T/A, Hawaii, Central & South America, New Zealand & South Pacific

Booked

21 day TA HAL Prinsondam May 2010

12 day TA Norwegian Sun Oct 2010

[CtheW0rld]

i think this is ok. i've done it when i've travelled solo.

[Druke I]

Not at all uncommon.

[travelmatron]

I think it might help if you mentioned that you were going to 'need to excuse yourself early' very soon after being seated. If you just get up before everyone else it could give the impression you found them somehow unpleasant or boring. You don't need to go into the reason for leaving. IMHO diets are very poor dinner topics, and you certainly wouldn’t want to seem judgmental.

But of course, that’s just what I think. It will be interesting to see how others react.

[Sirdar]

I think it might help if you mentioned that you were going to 'need to excuse yourself early' very soon after being seated. If you just get up before everyone else it could give the impression you found them somehow unpleasant or boring. You don't need to go into the reason for leaving. IMHO diets are very poor dinner topics, and you certainly wouldn’t want to seem judgmental.

 

But of course, that’s just what I think. It will be interesting to see how others react.

 

I agree that this is the best solution. Politely explain to your dinner companions that you need to excuse yourself after the main course. You might thank them for their company and tell them you look forward to seeing them at the next dinner (providing that you actually do).

[Jemima]

Couldn't you sip on coffee while others are eating dessert? I understand not eating dessert, but think it is somewhat rude to leave early. It gives the message that you didn't want to be seated with the others.

[Krazy Kruizers]

If you have several table mates who do wish to have dessert and you don't -- just order coffee and tea while they have their dessert.

 

If you are at a table for 2 -- and you both don't want dessert -- just say good night to your wait staff.

 

Frankly -- we haven't found very many desserts on our recent HAL cruises that were really that good. JMO

 

[NMLady]

I've often left before dessert in order to get a good seat for the evening entertainment. I've never considered it rude when others did it so didn't think it rude when I did it.

 

I do understand about not wanting to stay and have coffee or tea since dessert is so tempting. I'd think that if after dinner you simply said something like, "It's been pleasant enjoying your company, but I need to leave now." would be fine. No explanation necessary. For all they know you might have promised to meet a friend for drinks.

[DavidPatrick]

I generally lose one pound on each cruise. I eat three meals a day where at home I don't eat any breakfast. Onboard I eat the correct portions that should be eaten, because that is what is served in the dining room. Like yourself I don't eat the deserts as I don't care for their taste. At home when we cook we believe in Julia Childs admonitions nothing but real butter and real cream to make deserts. As a diabetic I have learned that when I eat Carbos my blood sugar goes up 350 percent, where as with fat it doesn't go up at all and with protein it only goes up 50 percent. When your blood sugar goes up your body creates insulin to bring the blood sugar level down. Insulins SECOND job is to create cholesterol and cholesterols job is to be used by the body to rebuild tissue etc and what's left over to be stored as FAT. So fat doesn't make you fat, protein doesn't make you fat, it's Carbos that make you fat when you eat too many of them, so stay away from the deserts and bread.:)

[bulgargirl]

As long as you are nice about it, I don't think it's rude.

 

I agree with the poster that said sitting there drinking coffee is too tempting. Absolutely! If I was able to just sip coffee while everyone else ate dessert, I wouldn't have strategies for watching me weight - it wouldn't be an issue!

 

I have no self-control. Lol.

[Berk987]

I generally lose one pound on each cruise. I eat three meals a day where at home I don't eat any breakfast. Onboard I eat the correct portions that should be eaten, because that is what is served in the dining room. Like yourself I don't eat the deserts as I don't care for their taste. At home when we cook we believe in Julia Childs admonitions nothing but real butter and real cream to make deserts. As a diabetic I have learned that when I eat Carbos my blood sugar goes up 350 percent, where as with fat it doesn't go up at all and with protein it only goes up 50 percent. When your blood sugar goes up your body creates insulin to bring the blood sugar level down. Insulins SECOND job is to create cholesterol and cholesterols job is to be used by the body to rebuild tissue etc and what's left over to be stored as FAT. So fat doesn't make you fat, protein doesn't make you fat, it's Carbos that make you fat when you eat too many of them, so stay away from the deserts and bread.:)

 

Wow that is really interesting. On my dad's side 4 out of the 7 siblings + grandma are diabetics. So I think about it often. I'll have to really cut down on carbs and white rice (we're Asian so we're all about the rice).

Good thing I ate my bagel today and there's only one left at home. So that will be my last. Thanks for the info.

[jrzebird]

IMHO, if I'm enjoying the company and want to stay after dinner, I order a cup of coffee - and don't forget that espresso and capuchino are available, and continue the meal. However, I would also excuse myself by saying I want to get a good seat at the show, have plans to meet someone, or a similar reason. To just get up and say, 'gotta go', seems a bit rude. I have lost 2 pounds on every cruise I've been on, and I have not missed a meal, a dessert or a before bedtime cookie and ice cream. I just watch portions and walk EVERYWHERE. The stairs are particularly good.

[Sue from Canada]

To watch my weight and not be tempted by desserts I excuse myself from the dinner table after the main course.

What would Ms Manners say?

 

Dennis

Jacksonville, Fl

 

 

I'm not a lover of sweets so I always have the cheese plate. Althought it's not always listed on every dessert menu the waiters knows to bring me one anyway. It has a mini scoop of blue cheese, four small pieces of cheese, a few grapes and a strawberry or two.

[chrispb]

To watch my weight and not be tempted by desserts I excuse myself from the dinner table after the main course.

What would Ms Manners say?

 

Dennis

Jacksonville, Fl

 

387 days at sea

33 cruises

11 cruise lines

T/P, T/A, Hawaii, Central & South America, New Zealand & South Pacific

 

Booked

21 day TA HAL Prinsondam May 2010

12 day TA Norwegian Sun Oct 2010

Blow Ms Manners! :D Why not just ask for some fruit? Otherwise, I would rather tell people I'm unable to say "no" to desserts rather than "Sorry, I have to leave now". Honesty is always best and far less offensive.

[kyriecat]

I rarely eat dessert nor do I drink coffee at night, but I have never excused myself from the table. I guess the difference is I'm not excessively tempted by the desserts. I continue to sit and converse while my tablemates finish their desserts and coffee. Usually the conversation is very engaging and I would be reluctant to leave.

 

I've never been seated with anyone who was ready to leave as soon as their entree was eaten. I can understand if someone excused himself occasionally to catch a show or for an activity, but I would find it odd (and even somewhat rude) if someone excused himself every night. Even if given the excuse of not wanting dessert, I would wonder after a couple of nights if I had done something to cause offense.

[cruisin'girl]

It's rude. We've been at a table where one woman left every night after the entree. Obviously it was all about me, me, me and it did put the others at the table feeling like she was doing us a favor getting through appetizers and entrees. Finished eating what she wanted, so ready to go. In that case I think a table for just 1 or 2 if there is a spouse is more appropriate. Part of asking for a table with others is to enjoy the evening meal socializing, not just eat and run every night. If not being able to resist dessert is such a problem maybe some diet therapy beforehand is a possibility to teach control?

[CowPrincess]

I don't think it is rude, and would hope that if I were one of your tablemates, I'd understand. Personally, though, I think it would be better to wait till after the dessert orders are taken to make your departure. That way, it isn't all about "just eating" -- you have a bit of time for conversation/sociability. And it would be considerate of you to explain your reason, as suggested by another poster. "If I see the dessert, I'm doomed, so please excuse me" or similar.

[CtheW0rld]

...If not being able to resist dessert is such a problem maybe some diet therapy beforehand is a possibility to teach control?

 

wow. maybe it was you they were avoiding.

[GOLDENBONNY]

Couldn't you sip on coffee while others are eating dessert? I understand not eating dessert, but think it is somewhat rude to leave early. It gives the message that you didn't want to be seated with the others.

 

 

Why???Why its rude to leve early table??I could not care less if some one go before dessert or even before main course,its vacation ,not a dinner in Royal Palace

[GOLDENBONNY]

It's rude. We've been at a table where one woman left every night after the entree. Obviously it was all about me' date=' me, me and it did put the others at the table feeling like she was doing us a favor getting through appetizers and entrees. Finished eating what she wanted, so ready to go. In that case I think a table for just 1 or 2 if there is a spouse is more appropriate. Part of asking for a table with others is to enjoy the evening meal socializing, not just eat and run every night. If not being able to resist dessert is such a problem maybe some diet therapy beforehand is a possibility to teach control?[/quote']

 

Not always people ASK for table with others,some time they have no choice and they stuck with others:rolleyes:

[cruisin'girl]

wow. maybe it was you they were avoiding.

 

Believe me everyone at the table thought this woman rude and her DH was embarrassed. The 'diet therapy' is not meant to be mean. It's true. Food should not be able to control one's life and if it does there is something you can do about it. Plus there are choices on the dessert menu that are sugar-free, fruit, and cheese. Me thinks maybe there are other reasons that poster wants to leave when she is through.

[CtheW0rld]

Believe me everyone at the table thought this woman rude and her DH was embarrassed. The 'diet therapy' is not meant to be mean. It's true. Food should not be able to control one's life and if it does there is something you can do about it. Plus there are choices on the dessert menu that are sugar-free' date=' fruit, and cheese. Me thinks maybe there are other reasons that poster wants to leave when she is through.[/quote']

 

if you say so...:rolleyes:

 

everybody at the table discussed her after she left? talk about rude...

[Gunther1]

Heat up the popcorn machine :).

[GOLDENBONNY]

if you say so...:rolleyes:

 

everybody at the table discussed her after she left? talk about rude...

 

 

Reason # 1 why we never eat with others:D because they think they know better what sould I eat,and how long I must seat with them and answer for stupid questions:p

[Davidson Duo]

We always choose late fixed dining and enjoy the camaraderie of the same table mates each night. I would have absolutely no problem with one of them saying at the beginning of the trip that they want everyone to know that each night they will probably leave a bit early as they find the desserts very tempting and for their own preservation will leave before the temptation gets the best of them.

 

That way I would not question their leaving early as being an affront to our company, but a perfectly understandable way to avoid overeating on your cruise. In fact even if it weren't explained, I wouldn't be affronted by someone leaving early. I have done it on occasion - needing to use the washroom desperately, being in pain from a disability I struggle with, or even because I find the conversation at the table uncomfortable (one cruise we had a couple with very strong opinions).

 

You are on vacation and can do what you want when you want. As long as you are polite, I see no problem with it. I respect you for recognizing that if you stay the temptation can be overpowering and for choosing to be proactive. I wish I had your strength! I quite like many of the HAL desserts and don't always succeed in just saying no.

 

Enjoy the Prinsendam, and may you enjoy smooth seas - and great table mates. :)