I'm a paranoid parent.....

[Nowisthetime1]

Yes, you stay concerned no matter what their age. But, if you did your job well and thought your children responsibility and self confidence they will do well. If you have not done your job by the time the graduate from HS it is to late to start. I suspect your 17 yr old will also what to visit her cousins and do things around ship. Not sit in her room alone. Hopefully the sisters are close and can do things as a pair. Two is always safer than one. But, our children go off to college on their own after HS and we are not across the hall for a knock on the door. I am sure you have told your daughters of all the things that can happen to them from others. If the cousins are not responsible they could be as bad as a stranger. You know your daughter(s) and if they can be trusted to be responsible. It is not easy but you have to treat the 21 yr old as an adult and let her do what she feels comfortable with. The 17 yr old still needs to do what you tell her, but give her some room to grow also. My daughter went on a cruise with 2 girlfriends at 22. I did not worry anymore than if they were at home going out to clubs. We do the best we can and have to have trust in our children and The Lord. Have fun, take a breath, and enjoy your cruise.

[hunniebee724]

I know I would feel better if her cousin was staying with her I don't know why just the idea she has to walk back to her room alone - Maybe I could ask them since her cousin's boyfriend is along if they would walk her to her room when they are done for the night??

 

I will lighten up - She is a very tough girl and like her dad says if anyone took her once she opens her mouth they certainly would return her!! HA HA

 

I think that's a great idea. Your daughter will probably feel better about going back to the room late if they're with her as well. I'm 28 and don't like walking alone late at night at home, and I've lived here my entire life....so I know I'd feel safer being walked back to my room.

[DaDivaMom]

you really need to relax....

[Talli]

I find it funny that everyone tells you NOT to worry. As a parent you always worry about your kids safety no matter their age.... I am 31 married for 13 years and have to DD's and DH and I are taking our first cruise in November. My mom has been giving me advice on how to stay safe on the ship and worrying that I am going to fall overboard. Lol! I don't know why she thinks it would happen but I would have the same fear if my girls were cruising with us, which their not, as well.

 

With that being said, yes, you do need to lighten up and trust your adult daughter. But, set some rules since she will be sharing a room with her minor brother and for respect for the rest of the family. BUT do not pass that worry onto her, it is her vacation too. Just try to relax have a few DOD's and enjoy your vacation :D.

 

Talli

[chickie_mite]

A different opinion here (no flames, please). I don't think you're paranoid at all.

 

My life's work is educating young adults. As a mother of 4 sons (all in their 20s), and as a professional who works with literally thousands of college students each year, I wouldn't hesitate to talk to her again about being safe (alcohol consumption, hooking up, protecting her drink at all times, never walking alone, having a way to contact you in case something happens, etc).

 

The ship is a small town. In small towns all over this country, young women are assaulted every day. It's not the "weirdos" who assault young women--it's the ones who appear to be perfectly normal, most often someone with whom they are acquainted. Where there's alcohol, there has to be the assumption that bad decision-making goes along with it.

 

There's no such thing as "too many times" when it comes to reminding our young adults how to have a great time in responsible ways. Our young adults today know how the evening will begin, almost always know what they plan to do during the evening, but rarely do they plan how their evening is going to end.

[taylor6400]

I went to college at 18 and never lived with my parents again...now 28 (male). They were great parents...did everything right. Did i stray from their teachings...um yea...did i get into some trouble...um yeah...did i do anything WAY stupid...no! Because even though i tested my life with no boundries to a pretty far extent i still knew there were repercussions to everything and was prepared for them. If you have done a good job parenting and you have good kids, let her go have fun and dont worry too much. She will do the right things, she wont want to dissapoint you while you are on vacation. They are already both (17 and 21) aware of the dangers all around them. I do think that having cousin with bf walk her back to the room is a VERY GOOD idea. I used to walk girls back to their dorms in college all the time...they dont like walking by themselves and thats a GOOD THING!

 

Now, onto alcohol...if she has never drank at all then i would let her drink a little even before shes 21. I was in a frat and the freshman girls that come to college having never drank and being forbidden to drink to that point simply unleashed the furry. This is when it gets dangerous. She is an adult at 18, and i think should be legal to have some drinks at that point, but for sure by now she should know what the effects of alcohol are in a safe environment! And if she overimbibes at some point during the cruise she will pay the price on her own. So dont get upset, but be supportive! Most of us have been there! Sorry...long post...didnt mean to.

[lampshadehead]

A different opinion here (no flames, please). I don't think you're paranoid at all.

 

My life's work is educating young adults. As a mother of 4 sons (all in their 20s), and as a professional who works with literally thousands of college students each year, I wouldn't hesitate to talk to her again about being safe (alcohol consumption, hooking up, protecting her drink at all times, never walking alone, having a way to contact you in case something happens, etc).

 

The ship is a small town. In small towns all over this country, young women are assaulted every day. It's not the "weirdos" who assault young women--it's the ones who appear to be perfectly normal, most often someone with whom they are acquainted. Where there's alcohol, there has to be the assumption that bad decision-making goes along with it.

 

There's no such thing as "too many times" when it comes to reminding our young adults how to have a great time in responsible ways. Our young adults today know how the evening will begin, almost always know what they plan to do during the evening, but rarely do they plan how their evening is going to end.

 

I agree

[kiraryker]

Thanks everyone!!! I will of course give my paranoid mom lecture to everyone and remind them not to ruin our vacation by doing something stupid - (that's a good one!)

 

I do know she has drank before and always assures me that she does not drink and drive -we have always said to stay put if you've had too much or call us and we will pick you up no questions asked but being on the boat she better assure me not to drink and fall over board! HA HA

 

 

I will try to lighten up more - I always worry about the worst possible things that can happen even when they don't!!

[spleenstomper]

I would tell her to keep her drink protected at ALL TIMES and then let your little birdie fly with her wings. ;)

 

Like others have said, cruise ships are NOT immune from crime-- from both the passengers AND the employees. She'll be as safe as anywhere else she would be with 6,000 other strangers. (passengers and crew)

[snydermann]

Yes she did go away for college . . .

 

If you managed through that then the cruise should be no problem? :)

 

You're only 21 once, let her rock!

[glrounds]

While I'm not going to disagree with always being vigilent and always be aware of your surroundings, trying to spout stats is not condusive. We all know that stats are cherry picked to prove the authors point in most cases.

 

Who was it that said there are 2 kinds of statistics. Lies and damn lies.

 

98.27% of statistics are MADE UP right on the spot. :D

[IslandDreaming]

I'll chime in with those who do NOT think you are being paranoid. I think you are just being a mom. Two years ago, we cruised with our then 18 yo dd and 16 yo ds. I worried a little bit, but I still had a wonderful time. We are going again this summer.

 

I could tell that my daughter was curious about alcohol, and I knew it was legal for her to drink on the islands that we were going to visit. So I told her that I was fine with her having a drink, as long as she was with us. (I didn't want her to get tipsy and be taken advantage of by anyone.) I'm going to tell my son the same thing.

 

My daughter has been off to college for two years, and I feel the same as you. It's easier not to worry about them when they aren't under your roof. When she comes home for holidays, I usually can't sleep very well until I know she's in the house. But I restrain myself from calling or texting to check up on her. And if I overstep my boundaries in ANY way, she quickly reminds me that she is an adult and is responsible for her own decisions.

 

I would be a little concerned about her walking alone at night too. It's good she has cousins along on the trip with her, just as I worry if she tells me while she is at school that she was out late and walked back across campus after dark. It's a good idea to have one of them walk her back.

 

My daughter and her cousin wanted to do a horseback riding excursion, and we let them, but only because they were together. And I gave her a long safety talk. She was pretty naive at that point. Everything was fine, but I worried about her.

 

If you've already dealt with her being away at college, I think once you get settled on the ship, you'll relax and have fun. Enjoy your trip!

[Cristallo]

At 21 I had graduated college and living in Europe on my own. :)

[halos]

As a parent I understand that you worry .

 

As the parent of a 21 year old son (OK I know different than a girl) You just have to let go and pray that all the things you have taught them through the years actually sinks in.

 

Last year my son moved out to his own place. So far so good he is doing great. This year my 18 yr old daughter moves out of state for school.

 

You just have to hope for the best.

Great response (as usual) Baby :)

I have 2 adult daughters and agree with you 100%....I feel no differently than if they were boys. Actually, no...I probably trust them more than I would a young man of 21. ;)

 

 

 

do not let them sleep in. once their clocks are off where they are coming in at all hours, and getting up at lunchtime, does no one any good.

 

'Let' a 21 year old???????

 

 

 

 

 

I actually slept better at night when she moved out!!

.

LMAO!! How very, very true!!!!

[babyher]

Great response (as usual) Baby :)

I have 2 adult daughters and agree with you 100%....I feel no differently than if they were boys.

 

Well thank you :)

 

You worry whether you have boys or girls.

 

But at 47 I am an OLD Italian father :) and still think the worst stuff can happen to the girls :(

[halos]

 

But at 47 I am an OLD Italian father :) and still think the worst stuff can happen to the girls :(

 

 

LOL...all fatherrs worry like crazy about their little girls :) BUT being Italian does kick it up a notch now doesn't it??? :p

 

OH and btw...you are NOT old...you're younger than me so you can't be old dangit! :D

[babyher]

LOL...all fatherrs worry like crazy about their little girls :) BUT being Italian does kick it up a notch now doesn't it??? :p

 

OH and btw...you are NOT old...you're younger than me so you can't be old dangit! :D

 

 

*LOL* Well thank you :)

 

I needed that today. I am a 9-1-1 dispatcher and we have anew class of trainees coming through. This morning one of them asked me a question because they were getting conflicting answers and the wanted to come to the "grand old man of fire himself " :) With 26 yrs I am highest seniority.

 

 

 

I thought "Hmmmmmm Old Man of Fire???? Yes one day Throg and I were sitting outside the cave rubbing sticks together and hot orange stuff appeared . So I grunted to Throg ya know we can make a good buck off putting this stuff out when it gets out of hand "

 

Well I guess if it is any consolation she did use the word "Grand" *LOL*

[halos]

*LOL* Well thank you :)

 

I needed that today. I am a 9-1-1 dispatcher and we have anew class of trainees coming through. This morning one of them asked me a question because they were getting conflicting answers and the wanted to come to the "grand old man of fire himself " :) With 26 yrs I am highest seniority.

 

 

 

I thought "Hmmmmmm Old Man of Fire???? Yes one day Throg and I were sitting outside the cave rubbing sticks together and hot orange stuff appeared . So I grunted to Throg ya know we can make a good buck off putting this stuff out when it gets out of hand "

 

Well I guess if it is any consolation she did use the word "Grand" *LOL*

 

LMAO!!!!

Yeah. Young people suck. :p

[stargate fan]

Yes she did go away for college but it's just different when she is around my protection instinct kicks in. I actually slept better at night when she moved out!!

 

She is a very smart girl but I know what can happen and I know they all have had my lectures on all the weirdos and it just worries me more being on a ship and really anyone can throw you over and you wouldn't be found - paranoid I know!!!

 

My 10yo is staying with us - mostly because my other 2 don't want to be babysitting all the time.

 

I know I need to lighten up - I like the idea of getting the knock on the door when she returns at night -

 

She will just be turning 21 2 months before our trip - and yes I've given her all the warnings about alcohol - just the idea of being on the ship I think makes me worried.

 

I will try to lighten up - I know I need to so I enjoy this trip also.

 

Other cruisers nearby might not like hearing the knock on the door when she returns at night.

[bplazo]

My daughter is 21 now and I still worry and am paranoid and I probably always will. She has done a couple dangerous stunts last year when she went to Europe for school which I am still lecturing her about. I always tell her to guard her drink when I know she is going out. I am hoping that it will sink in.

[Karysa]

I am not sure if these suggestions have been made before but you could check in with your roll call and see if there are others their age that they could meet at a meet and greet perhaps and I would also have the two siblings make sure that they do not go to sleep until they are both in the room. They are old enough for some privacy and some responsibility and this will let you relax and sleep knowing that they are watching out for each other in the night.

[janetz]

While I'm not going to disagree with always being vigilent and always be aware of your surroundings, trying to spout stats is not condusive. We all know that stats are cherry picked to prove the authors point in most cases.

 

Who was it that said there are 2 kinds of statistics. Lies and damn lies.

 

 

 

http://www.internationalcruisevictims.org/

[Crusin6]

no, you are not being paranoid...but I do hope your 21yo has enough common sense and discipline to avoid bad situations and to trust her gut and to realize that there are over 3000 strangers (pax and crew) on the ship........and yes, some may have bad ideas....and some may not.....and most importantly of all.........while some may want to become her best friend in a matter of hours.......that simply is not in her best interest......neither is getting drunk and losing control.

 

Hear about it all the time...and not just to 21yo's...to older adults...married couples...singles..everyone........problems do sometimes occur and trouble finds some pax........and knowing that fact and being prepared to handle it is not being paranoid!!!!

[Crusin6]

Other cruisers nearby might not like hearing the knock on the door when she returns at night.

that's too bad for them

[BeeBeeCee]

I have two daughters, one 26 and one will be 21 in September

 

Both girls went away to college and both are very independent, but still when we took a family cruise in 2007 and they were in a room by themselves, I did worry, and ...when we take our family cruise next year, i will worry again :p

 

it is like the other poster said..it is like a small city..... the ship may be safe...but that may not hold true for every person on the ship ;)

 

I will always worry about them....I am a mom and it is my job :D