Unpleasant stuff on the Miracle :(

[deborahjo]

IMHO smacking a kid does not teach a child respect. It teaches them fear. Fear does not equal respect. I do not smack my kids, but I do have their respect. And they obey me out of that respect. They don't like to disappoint me and it shows in their behavior. That was not brought on by fear.

 

Smacking happened less the time outs in my house. Time outs were used because the kids had that time taken away from what they were doing. But I see nothing wrong with a smack. Not repeatedly. To me that is uncalled for.

[hunneebee]

This is exactly why I never cruise during the summer or holidays. I did my time - my kids are 25 through 30. I will add that they were very well behaved in public (not so much at home). And I have to say they've never (or rarely?) been spanked. I cruise to relax, so I choose non-family vacation time. Every one I've been on, the kids are so busy at Camp Carnival, you rarely hear a peep from them. I'm sure it's very different in the summer. I do have a grandchild now, so perhaps I'll become more tolerant again.

 

Now I did have a bad time a couple of years ago with the grown couple in the cabin next to me. They were celebrating their anniversary and spent the entire week fighting, and kept pushing their cigarette butts onto our balcony. I thought one was going to go overboard!

[beetle9]

IMHO smacking a kid does not teach a child respect. It teaches them fear. Fear does not equal respect. I do not smack my kids, but I do have their respect. And they obey me out of that respect. They don't like to disappoint me and it shows in their behavior. That was not brought on by fear.

i have helped raise 90 plus foster kids in the last 23 yrs but when it comes to my kids they would get a swift swat on the but if the offense was enough to deserve it and no thanks to doc spock we are not allowed to spank foster kids but i have done this and then call agency to report my self the girl that this happened to has came back and told us she did appreciated our yough rules some kids could us a little parenting.

[Warm Breezes]

i have helped raise 90 plus foster kids in the last 23 yrs but when it comes to my kids they would get a swift swat on the but if the offense was enough to deserve it and no thanks to doc spock we are not allowed to spank foster kids but i have done this and then call agency to report my self the girl that this happened to has came back and told us she did appreciated our yough rules some kids could us a little parenting.

 

Believe me...I have tough rules, I just don't need to hit anyone to enforce them. If I say no or stop I mean it and my kids know that. I don't even need to raise my voice, a look goes a long way in my house. My 2 year old nephew who throws tantrums at my brother and our friends kids who always fight with their parents and each other, behave when they are under my watch because they respect my authority (unfortunately they don't respect their parent's authority). You can enforce rules without hitting and yelling and your kids will respect you for it.

[Cruisin 4 Ever]

Believe me...I have tough rules, I just don't need to hit anyone to enforce them. If I say no or stop I mean it and my kids know that. I don't even need to raise my voice, a look goes a long way in my house. My 2 year old nephew who throws tantrums at my brother and our friends kids who always fight with their parents and each other, behave when they are under my watch because they respect my authority (unfortunately they don't respect their parent's authority). You can enforce rules without hitting and yelling and your kids will respect you for it.

Absolutely.

My daughter is 16, I've never spanked her, she's never threatened to run away, she's never gotten in trouble at school, no porblems at all. We made sure she was very clear on the rules from the time she was a toddler. A combination of love and discipline is what parents need to do.

I love my daughter enough to not want people to look at her when she's in public and think she's a rotten child.

She is very respectful to all the staff on the ship, and appreciates how hard they work to give her a nice vacation.

Someone said on here that people forget what little kids are like thinking they should behave better. I disagree. I don't think anyone here is saying kids on these ships should sit like quiet little mice, only that they need to respect the other people around them, including the ship itself, and if they are running wild, screaming, etc their parents should stop it.

[Cristallo]

You can enforce rules without hitting and yelling and your kids will respect you for it.

 

I'm sorry but had my parents done this I would have laughed in their face.

 

I thank God everyday for my amazing parents who spanked me. I fully plan on keeping the tradition alive.

[Rob&Bonnie]

Remember to pack your ratty bathrobe, facial mudpack and pink curlers for your hair. I've always told my son that if he embarasses me I won't get mad, I won't get even, I WILL GET AHEAD. Imagine having your mother all done up in the robe and mudpack hunting you down while you're with your newfound friends. Don't forget the bunny slippers, they really complete any outfit.

 

Being serious now, it's great there are parents that are willing to set the rules and then enforce them. We've been blessed on each of our cruises, with the kids on board being great!

 

My DS is 29 and a parent now, so I'm beyond the teenage years, but not so far beyond that I've forgotten. And yes, my 29 year old now police officer son STILL believes I'd show up in 'the outfit' if he got out of line.

[Warm Breezes]

I'm sorry but had my parents done this I would have laughed in their face.

 

I thank God everyday for my amazing parents who spanked me. I fully plan on keeping the tradition alive.

 

Passing on the family tradition...lovely.

 

Even if I had a child laugh in my face, I wouldn't respond with yelling and hitting. I did have some more difficult children in my 10 years of teaching Sunday School (first - third grade) as well as dealing with my 2 year old nephew and my friends kids. There is always a child that is more difficult to handle than others. If you get to know the child and find out what makes him tick, give the child your attention, handle the child with firmness, consistancy, follow-through, love, and patience (this is what many parents lack) they do eventually respect you and they will listen and obey what you say without having to yell at them or hit them. I had many parents/teachers amazed at how well behaved the kids in my class were whenever we did a group activity. It never took me long to earn the respect of the kids in my classes. I laid out the rules. I was firm and consistant in enforcing the rules. I got down to their level and talked directly to them not at them. IMHO gaining a childs respect goes a lot farther and is a lot more rewarding than gaining their fear.

 

If you start enforcing rules and setting boundries as a toddler it is easier to instill that respect but I have seen it happen in older kids who mis-behave too...it may take a little longer but that is where the patience, consistancy and follow-through come in.

[Cristallo]

Passing on the family tradition...lovely.

 

Even if I had a child laugh in my face, I wouldn't respond with yelling and hitting. I did have some more difficult children in my 10 years of teaching Sunday School (first - third grade) as well as dealing with my 2 year old nephew and my friends kids. There is always a child that is more difficult to handle than others. If you get to know the child and find out what makes him tick, give the child your attention, handle the child with firmness, consistency, follow-through, love, and patience (this is what many parents lack) they do eventually respect you and they will listen and obey what you say without having to yell at them or hit them. I had many parents/teachers amazed at how well behaved the kids in my class were whenever we did a group activity. It never took me long to earn the respect of the kids in my classes. I laid out the rules. I was firm and consistent in enforcing the rules. I got down to their level and talked directly to them not at them. IMHO gaining a child's respect goes a lot farther and is a lot more rewarding than gaining their fear.

 

If you start enforcing rules and setting boundaries as a toddler it is easier to instill that respect but I have seen it happen in older kids who mis-behave too...it may take a little longer but that is where the patience, consistency and follow-through come in.

 

While that may work for you and your Sunday school classes..I can always tell the kids who's parents are the type to sit little Johnny down and have an adult heart to heart with how he is disappointing them.

 

But to each their own....

[Warm Breezes]

While that may work for you and your Sunday school classes..I can always tell the kids who's parents are the type to sit little Johnny down and have an adult heart to heart with how he is disappointing them.

 

But to each their own....

 

I didn't say that is how I discipline. Quite honestly this is how my friends discipline. They don't hit their kids either. One of them does the yelling while the other one pulls the kid aside to have the heart to heart as he's throwing his fit. Neither backs each other up and one of them always backs down to the kid and the kids wins. They never enforced the boundries they tried to set. Neither of them have their kids respect.

 

There are ways to discipline without hitting. Most of the disciplining to my kids was done when they were younger, so they learned that what I said I meant. It was by being consistant and patient when I said no and taking things away from them or removing them from the situation and not backing down. It was done by not allowing them to do something or get something they wanted or by taking away something they valued for a specific period of time if they didn't do what I said. There was no giving in and backing down to tears. It didn't take them long to realize I meant what I said and they respected me for that. I used other kids who mis-behaved as examples to them of behavior that was not acceptable. They became embarrassed when our friends kids acted up around them because they knew it wasn't proper behavior. The last thing they want to do is embarrass themselves.

 

My kids are now 13 and 16. It is a rare thing to have to discipline them now because they do what I ask them to, they don't mouth back at me, they rarely fight with each other (and when they do they get over it quickly or face Mom's resolutions), they ask before they buy things or before they go out with friends, they do not swear (at least not in front of me and their father) and they are well-behaved in public and at home. Every once in awhile that teenage attitude starts to appear...I stop it quickly with three words (Watch the Attitude) and a look. All that with never having to hit them.

 

But to each his own...

[nrdsb4]

My kids were brought up to know that there are limits and boundries to their behavior that are acceptable. I did not have to spank them. I just had to be firm and let them know that no was no. From an early age, a look was all it took to get them to know I was serious. They are now teens and that look still works for me.

 

 

It all comes down to setting those boundries and limitations when they are young and following through. They need to know you are serious when you say something and they will respect you for it. Too many parents are like my friends who are all too willing to excuse the behavior rather than deal with the behavior...I am so afraid that it will only get worse for them as they get older. Their older one currently has no respect for his mother and is often mouthing off to her. My children have never spoken to me in that manner. They have a respect for me that has been instilled in them from a young age and I repeat...it was not beaten into them.

 

 

I could have written this post. Children misbehaving has NOTHING to do with the fact that they are not spanked or yelled at. It has everything to do with the fact that they have not been given clear boundaries and firm, consistent, immediate consequences to misbehavior.

 

If you do the hard work when they are very young, it's really not a big issue later. I was never spanked, but one look from my Dad or a firm "HEY..." and I straightened up PDQ.

 

It's not that people aren't spanking their kids...all too often they just aren't doing anything at all, or they are completely inconsistent with how they dole out the discipline. Therein lies the problem.

[nrdsb4]

there are ways to discipline without hitting. Most of the disciplining to my kids was done when they were younger, so they learned that what i said i meant. it was by being consistant and patient when i said no and taking things away from them or removing them from the situation and not backing down. it was done by not allowing them to do something or get something they wanted or by taking away something they valued for a specific period of time if they didn't do what i said. there was no giving in and backing down to tears. it didn't take them long to realize i meant what i said and they respected me for that.

 

 

 

My kids are now 13 and 16. It is a rare thing to have to discipline them now because they do what i ask them to, they don't mouth back at me, they rarely fight with each other (and when they do they get over it quickly or face mom's resolutions), they ask before they buy things or before they go out with friends, they do not swear (at least not in front of me and their father) and they are well-behaved in public and at home. Every once in awhile that teenage attitude starts to appear...i stop it quickly with three words (watch the attitude) and a look. All that with never having to hit them.

 

But to each his own...

 

 

ditto.:)

[Warm Breezes]

I could have written this post. Children misbehaving has NOTHING to do with the fact that they are not spanked or yelled at. It has everything to do with the fact that they have not been given clear boundaries and firm, consistent, immediate consequences to misbehavior.

 

If you do the hard work when they are very young, it's really not a big issue later. I was never spanked, but one look from my Dad or a firm "HEY..." and I straightened up PDQ.

 

It's not that people aren't spanking their kids...all too often they just aren't doing anything at all, or they are completely inconsistent with how they dole out the discipline. Therein lies the problem.

 

Agreed. Ignoring and excusing kid's poor behavior because a parent doesn't have the patience to discipline in a firm and consistant manner causes a child to mis-behave all the more. A child will keep pushing their limits until they hit the boundries set and enforced by their parents. It's up to the parents to set and enforce those boundries to stop the bad behavior. Enforcement does not have to mean hitting. But it does mean not giving in to bad behavior. There is no excuse for bad behavior...IMHO.