Man, my life is sure in a turmoil. I think I was not meant to travel

[clerky96]

We were going on a cruise fall of '08 & hubby ended up having a heart attack and cardiac bypass surgery. As if that wasn't enough, 1 month later he developed a platelet disorder. 1 month later his heart went into afib and they found out 4 of 6 bypasses failed. Had to have 3 stents. Has been doing pretty good since. That cruise cancelled.

Forward to Feb '10; DH & I had planned a trip to Florida when 91 yo mother started having problems with her aortic aneurysm. Thought they might have to do surgery. Trip postponed. Ended up it is inoperable and we ended up going later than planned.

Forward to June '10; Had a bus tour scheduled and mother had heart attack & cardiac arrest while she was visiting in Arkansas. Went there and stayed 10 days. She was able to come home and has been doing pretty well; all things considered. Bus trip cancelled.

Last week I booked a cruise for hubby & I for the first of Oct. This morning I found out my mom is having breathing difficulties. I took her to the Dr. They think she could be having an allergy attack (never had allergies in 91 years) and they have her doing breathing treatments at home. Since I am the only one who lives in the same town as mom, the responsibility pretty much falls to me. I am not complaining, just stating a fact. So, right now our cruise is "up in the air". And although that is the least of my worries, it does seem as if we are meant to stay home.:(

BTW, I do have insurance but not sure about how bad her condition must be before insurance would pay.

[ChefSusan]

Check with the policyholder regarding whether or not you are covered, seeing that you are cruising in a couple of weeks.

 

You may have to eat the cost unfortunately :(

 

Hope your mother gets better soon! Mine just had her aortic valve replaced earlier this week, and we sail on Freedom the end of October. I am hoping that she will be okay enough for us to go on the trip (yes we have insurance!).

[FloridaLaura]

Hope everything works out for you and your mom! Good luck

[gogetter]

Hello,

 

So sorry for your travel changes. It stinks when you look forward to something and this type of things happen.

 

Is there anyone else that could look in on your mom? Family or friends, church friends? Hospice has some type of plan that comes to help in noncritical times. My mother has it for her mother who is 103.

[Marie51]

Sorry for all that has happened. Here is my experience with travel insurance. My sister and I were 2 weeks away from our cruise when her 14 year old daughter(my niece) had a siezure and after a bunch of tests was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She was scheduled for surgery immediately so we could not do the cruise. We had insurance through Access America and they asked for a statement from her doctor saying what her diagnoses & treatment were. Anyway we got a full refund for the cruise & airfare. So as long as the doctor fills out the form stating that you need to care for her you should be able to get your money back. Good luck.

[clerky96]

Is there anyone else that could look in on your mom? 

I have a sister who lives about 20 mi away. I told her that she is going to have to come stay with mom while we are gone and she said she would try to make arrangements to do that if need be. So, I may have that part covered. The problem will come into play if she doesn't get better. :(

Thanks everyone. I apologize for this post. I must truly be in "meltdown mode" to come on here and whine to complete strangers. :o

[jetskier]

Is there anyone else that could look in on your mom? 

I have a sister who lives about 20 mi away. I told her that she is going to have to come stay with mom while we are gone and she said she would try to make arrangements to do that if need be. So, I may have that part covered. The problem will come into play if she doesn't get better. :(

Thanks everyone. I apologize for this post. I must truly be in "meltdown mode" to come on here and whine to complete strangers. :o

 

Sometimes you just need to vent. Nothing wrong in that. Hope things gets better for mom. Enjoy your cruise and come back refreshed to take care of your mom.

 

Dave

[nothomeonacruise]

Can she get some sort of transportation or nurse help? You might check HER insurance. There might be some temporary help while you are gone. Where I live they have medical transportation that picks up patients. They also have people who do checks at houses. They may do minor housework ..etc.. They aren't really nurses, but they are certified.

[MSRussell]

Believe me, you are NOT whining!! As I know from experience, it was difficult to be a caregiver once, let alone all you times you were.

I hope it works out for you.

Melanie

[GlendaleCruiser]

Some Medicare plans provide Home Health Care and treatments. My dad got a visit for treatment every day by a professional even though we were there. Something to look into. I know that you want to have peace of mind so you can go and enjoy yourself for a few days.

[hill6]

Do you have visiting nurse service in your area that could give the treatments to her while you are gone?

[clerky96]

Thanks again. Yes, they do have home health care nurses here. I don't know who has to order them, but I am definately going to look into it. And I admit, my stress level is pretty high. Things just seem to keep going wrong. I know that mom is at an age where major things are going to start going wrong but I hate seeing it happen. Thankfully she still has all her faculties and is still "smart as a whip". Sadly she didn't tell me how bad she was feeling because she was trying to "tough it out" so that she wouldn't ruin our trip. Said she had already done that once this summer and didn't want to do it again. Anyway, thanks for the suggestions.

[littlesnit]

Hi,

I was going to suggest a visiting nurse type program that her insurance might pay for, but I see it was already suggested. Now aren't you glad you felt a need to vent to strangers? ;) Lots of good people with good suggestions when a problem arises.

 

Hope everything works out for you. If it does, have a safe and happy cruise!

[DocF]

I understand your frustration. I also have a 91 year old mother, but she lives near my sister. Problem is, while Mom is in good health for her age, DS has thought for the last 20 years that she had one foot in the grave. It falls to me to referee.

 

We will be visiting my mother before our cruise. Yes, we expect she will have slipped since last year. No she is not going to leave us anytime soon.

 

Anyway, good luck with your mother and your cruise. If you possibly can go, you need to do so as you need a break.

 

Doc :D

[Epaul3]

I do understand where you are coming from! Three years ago, my very healthy father-in-law was my mother-in law's caregiver. We helped out when we could. He had to make a trip to the emergency room for chest pains...long story short.. he became very disabled and came home 8 months later. While he was in the hospital, his wife died. My husband and I had to give up our house and move in with him. We try not to totally give up out vacations. We have found several assisted living facilities that do respite care. They take care of your loved ones while you are on vacation or a business trip. Not cheap.. but well worth the money to get away occasionally. You might do a search in your area and see if this is available.

[peanutJMV]

We were going on a cruise fall of '08 & hubby ended up having a heart attack and cardiac bypass surgery. As if that wasn't enough, 1 month later he developed a platelet disorder. 1 month later his heart went into afib and they found out 4 of 6 bypasses failed. Had to have 3 stents. Has been doing pretty good since. That cruise cancelled.

Forward to Feb '10; DH & I had planned a trip to Florida when 91 yo mother started having problems with her aortic aneurysm. Thought they might have to do surgery. Trip postponed. Ended up it is inoperable and we ended up going later than planned.

Forward to June '10; Had a bus tour scheduled and mother had heart attack & cardiac arrest while she was visiting in Arkansas. Went there and stayed 10 days. She was able to come home and has been doing pretty well; all things considered. Bus trip cancelled.

Last week I booked a cruise for hubby & I for the first of Oct. This morning I found out my mom is having breathing difficulties. I took her to the Dr. They think she could be having an allergy attack (never had allergies in 91 years) and they have her doing breathing treatments at home. Since I am the only one who lives in the same town as mom, the responsibility pretty much falls to me. I am not complaining, just stating a fact. So, right now our cruise is "up in the air". And although that is the least of my worries, it does seem as if we are meant to stay home.:(

BTW, I do have insurance but not sure about how bad her condition must be before insurance would pay.

 

---Hope you Mom feels better quickly, you need to break this streak of bad luck, if Mom is ok, have someone (Family member) stay with your MOm and go on your trip.....

[chasinraynbowz]

Is there anyone else that could look in on your mom? 

I have a sister who lives about 20 mi away. I told her that she is going to have to come stay with mom while we are gone and she said she would try to make arrangements to do that if need be. So, I may have that part covered. The problem will come into play if she doesn't get better. :(

Thanks everyone. I apologize for this post. I must truly be in "meltdown mode" to come on here and whine to complete strangers. :o

 

 

Who better to have a meltdown with than your friends on CC!

[BARBARA J.W.]

Thanks again. Yes, they do have home health care nurses here. I don't know who has to order them,

 

Your Mother's Doctor can order

Home Health........

[lillian marie]

Many nursing homes and assisted living centers offer respite care. She could be in skilled care while you take a respite for yourself, the cruise. Speak to her MD.

[Ren1216]

I'm really sorry for all the disruptions to your vacations! I hope your mom will bounce back quickly and be ok enough for you to go ahead with your cruise.

 

Next time though.... shhhh... don't tell anyone you have travel plans and then MAYBE you can sneak away and secretly have a good time. :)

[Tao Diva]

Oh Clerky, I know your pain. :(

 

I have a mentally ill adult daughter and have pushed my travel insurance to the limit multiple times. She is highly functioning between decompensations but when she crashes it's bad.

 

I have planned MANY more vacations than I have taken. But sometimes the vacation god smiles and you get that much needed break.

 

So here we are, I am 6 weeks away from my own cruise and here's hoping :o

 

I hope you are able to make all the arrangements necessary so you can be confident in your mom's care, bless her, and can go and fully enjoy your cruise.

[MileHiCrzr]

I canceled a cruise once because my 92 year old mom lives with us. As long as the doc fills out the form correctly you should have no problem with the insurance. My money was refunded within 10 days. Personally I would recommend respite care as opposed to home health. At least they are there 24/7 - granted it does cost more. Good luck - I hope things work out okay for you - I certainly understand your situation.

[salty dingo]

I hope things get better for you and your loved ones, and that you are able to do your cruise soon!