Why we don't go on "all gay cruises" anymore

[keithm]

My friends and I live in a small midwestern city, and despite all the advances through the years, there's still the feeling in the back of my mind that any stranger on the street might be violent when encountering an openly gay person. I know it's unlikely, but it's always possible, and it colors every interaction to some extent. Sad, but true. I hate to think the worst about people, but we've all seen enough on the news and been the brunt of enough verbal or physical harassment to know that in many places it's still a fact of life.

 

I've been on several gay cruises, and one "straight" cruise, and for me, I have to say that I only felt truly relaxed on the gay cruises. That's the only time I really felt like I could let my guard down ... and that, to me, is what a vacation is all about. I didn't encounter anything bad on the straight cruise, but that's not the point for me ... the point was that you never were quite sure whether the next stranger you talked to would be pleasant and welcoming or hateful and abusive. Sure, I could brush it off if that happened, but when I'm on vacation I'd just prefer not to have to deal with the possibility.

 

Jim

You really need to get out of your shell! We've been on 6 Cunard cruises & never had any issues. We had a great gay magician(well, we all think he was)Everyone he chose out of the audience was gay. The only cruises I'd stay away from are the short "booze" cruises on Carnival/NCL/RCCL. these are generally 5 days or less. The crowd definately seems to be one of lower means..I/E lower educated etc. Those are the folks that might cause issues. Even then, the cruiselines will boot anyone off who causes problems such as you're concerned about.

[02143]

A poster on the Celebrity board describes an Atlantis charter as a "private gay sex cruise."

Edited August 2, 2011 by Host Tyler
Posting deleted thread

[Boytjie]

A poster on the Celebrity board describes an Atlantis charter as a "private gay sex cruise."

 

The poster has probably never been on a gay charter.

[02143]

The poster has probably never been on a gay charter.

 

He was almost certainly not gay and was trying to insult the group. The mods have edited his post, thanks mods.

Edited August 2, 2011 by 02143

[Boytjie]

He was almost certainly not gay and was trying to insult the group. The mods have edited his post, thanks mods.

 

That post is now gone.

 

Question for you : why did you post a link to it and repeat what it said? :confused:

[02143]

That post is now gone.

 

Question for you : why did you post a link to it and repeat what it said? :confused:

 

Because I was appalled when I came across it there and that it had drawn no response. And in the past, I've seen people link out to homophobic posts on other boards from this forum to draw attention to stuff that otherwise might fly under the radar. I am glad it was cleaned up and my original post may as well be deleted.

[ExplorerCA]

I'm with the OP. I've done 75 cruises and the worst - by far - was the RSVP one we did as a group of six. At nearly double the rate of a conventional cruise, it wasn't worth it. The 'staff' they had were just people they'd met and apparently invited along because they were cute. Some had no cruise experience. Most had no personality and talked only among themselves. They certainly were FAR below the professionalism you'd see from even the worst Cruise Staff onboard a regular cruise. Also, for a newbie to wear a 'crew' shirt - even an RSVP 'crew' shirt is an insult to the true crewmembers onboard.

 

We ranged in age from early 20s to 50s. At the sailaway party, the drag queen hostess took a liking to the youngest member of our group and invited him away (privately) to party with the RSVP folks. It was clear they were fostering a 'cool kids' versus 'outsider' dynamic that I hadn't seen since middle school.

 

On another RSVP cruise, a friend who's a little overweight was seated for dinner and when the head waiter brought over two other guys to be seated at the same table, one loudly said "I'm not sitting with that fat ass". As my friend said later, it's as though the cruise brought back every insecurity he'd had since childhood.

 

There's an impression that the gay cruises are for the circuit party boys, and I found that to be mostly true. I wouldn't go on another gay cruise if it were priced the same as a regular one - it's just not worth it.

[OK Rancher]

I have done three gay cruises (all RSVP) and many other mainstream cruises. I'm gay...but that's not all of what/who I am, so both types of cruises are fine. I did the gay cruises when I was in my thirties and single. I met some great guys/couples after the first cruise and then planned another cruise with them the following year. The next year, I wanted to go on a gay clipper ship cruise (a great experience), so I traveled solo and had a blast.

 

Now, I am taking my partner on a mainstream 7-night caribbean cruise. The price definitely works, and we grabbed a balcony stateroom and I'm treating him to all sorts of on-ship treats - a Chef's Table experince, specialty dining, spa services and of course, a bottle of champagne. I managed to do all of this on the mainstream line for what I cost me, solo on a gay cruise.

 

Also, as gays/lesbians become more accepted in mainstream culture, the need for gay cruises - for me - has dimished.

 

Enjoy your cruise - whatever line and with whatever types of folks you're with!

[RandB_Toronto]

I've just read through this thread and it is very interesting! We have been on only a few cruises -- two gay charters on smallish ships in Europe and a few regular cruises. Loved them all! One thing I notice in the posts here is the grouping of "gay cruises" as being all one sort of thing. I believe that there is a distinct difference between the small European cruises such as we've been on vs the large "party cruises" (my term) mostly in the Carribean. (Having never been on one of the latter types I probably should not be making assumptions, but from what I read here I don't think I am wrong about them!) The ones we were on were far from one big party. The demographics were definitely towards an older crowd and mainly couples. But at the same time, there was something that was totally different from a straight cruise (other than nearly all the passengers being guys!!) I think it had to do with feeling a bond with everyone else on board. At dinner the noise level in the dining room just felt as if we were one big group. I don't generally like noisy dining, but this was just so much fun!

 

We choose cruises based mainly on itinerary (but definitely leaning towards small ships and less formality. We love Oceania!) We would definitely consider another gay cruise in the future. On those two cruises we made some wonderful friends!

 

So choose the cruise that suits you, but just be aware that there are different types of gay cruise.

 

Rick

[Jaxxgent]

Hello, all! I have not had a chance to read all of this thread yet, but I will! We have done several "regular" cruises (see list in signature) and we have always been a couple on them. Not once have we had an issue. Okay, there was one couple that didn't come back to our dining room table the next night ... their loss! LOL Mind you, we do not go around "sucking face" (remember that from "On Golden Pond? LOL) in public, but we do not hide the fact that we are a couple. We have met some fantastic people and now have very dear friends from all over the world and we all try to cruise together each October. Oddly enough, they are all straight couples, and we are the only gay couple ... but that's never bothered us, or them.

 

We did book with a gay group on a regular cruise once ... that will never happen again. A few bad apples spoiled it for the lot - I won't even go into some of the behavior we witnessed in public areas, but I kept saying to myself "Okay, guys, a little decorum ... and GET A ROOM" (or at least go to your cabin for that!) LOL If it were an all gay cruise, that might be different ... but, I'm still thinking there's a time and place for everything, and a glass elevator in the middle of the day is not the time or place for sex acts, know what I mean?! LOL

 

Looking forward to our cruise next month on RCCL's Serenade of the Seas! Have a great day!

 

Terry

[keithm]

A poster on the Celebrity board describes an Atlantis charter as a "private gay sex cruise."

I've had friends on Atlantis..and it can be a "sex cruise". The parties are there, if you look for them. It's not our scene, but if someone wants that, no problem.

[BosKAB-57]

We've never done a gay cruise + only RCI

[Jaxxgent]

Proper behavior...

Now *there* is a dying art. ;)

 

Amen!

[Darrell6t]

I've had friends on Atlantis..and it can be a "sex cruise". The parties are there, if you look for them. It's not our scene, but if someone wants that, no problem.

 

And it can also be a ton of non-sexual fun. But with 2,000 to 5,000 people on a cruise, it doesn't seem all that "private". Atlantis runs full-ship charters, not "private sex cruises". They are what you make of them. There is plenty of sex, but the vast majority of it takes place in the cabins.

[mcd1411]

Myself and my partner have Never been on a gay cruise, I am in my mid 30s and have done over 25 cruises. We have meet some fantastic friends over the years.We cruise regularly with straight friends we meet on a RCI cruise 5 years ago now. The Cost has always put me off a all gay cruise and i enjoy the mixture of people on a normal cruise.

I think when it comes to being a couple no matter if straight or gay it doesnt really matter you wouldnt want to watch a straight couple all over each other and would be embarrassing for anyone to watch. I think yea you should be able to get pictures taken of you both together, which we have done so many times. either ourself or with the ships photographers. Most people dont really care any more as long as your not pushing it in thier face or down thier throat. i think it is all in your own behaviour in front of company or others.

I have heard that on gay cruises it is sex everywhere, well if you want that you can get it on a straight cruise also. it happens everywhere. Their is a large amount of gay staff on board the ships and trust me they have seen it all, if not tried it themselves. If your a a gay couple try a straight cruise you might be surprised how normal and enjoyable it is.

[bdjam]

My partner and I do mainstream cruises, for the cost. We live in Colorado Springs (Focus on the Family, New Life, 5 military installations, never elected a democrat to the US Senate or House) and to call the area very conservative is like saying the titanic never sank! So for us it has become our normal not to show any sort of PDA. Its not that we try and hide it, its more about self preservation in our area, and not wanting to deal with ignorant people making their comments, staring, pointing, pulling their kids closer, or any number of the things people will do when they are uncomfortable. Its sad and unfortunate that we, in this day and age, are still treated like a circus side show acts, but that is the world we live in, and it carries over to anything we do in the city or out.

Flip the coin - I live in the San Francisco Bay Area where even the conservative areas are relatively tolerant. It's sometimes a culture shock to get on a ship with people from middle America who claim never to have seen gay people before - and sometime react negatively to it. When I was with my ex and we sailed together there were a couple of times when we were 'called out' for being gay and so we found that we went into the closet when we got on ships.

So a gay cruise sounds like it would be perfect - but cost, convenience and the overwhelming gay environment I think makes it a bit unattractive. After all my cruises, I still haven't done a gay one...but I will never say never :)

[Boytjie]

Myself and my partner have Never been on a gay cruise, I am in my mid 30s and have done over 25 cruises. We have meet some fantastic friends over the years.We cruise regularly with straight friends we meet on a RCI cruise 5 years ago now. The Cost has always put me off a all gay cruise and i enjoy the mixture of people on a normal cruise.

I think when it comes to being a couple no matter if straight or gay it doesnt really matter you wouldnt want to watch a straight couple all over each other and would be embarrassing for anyone to watch. I think yea you should be able to get pictures taken of you both together, which we have done so many times. either ourself or with the ships photographers. Most people dont really care any more as long as your not pushing it in thier face or down thier throat. i think it is all in your own behaviour in front of company or others.

I have heard that on gay cruises it is sex everywhere, well if you want that you can get it on a straight cruise also. it happens everywhere. Their is a large amount of gay staff on board the ships and trust me they have seen it all, if not tried it themselves. If your a a gay couple try a straight cruise you might be surprised how normal and enjoyable it is.

 

I am normal, thank you. We go on gay charters and did a gay group on a regular cruise; I don't need to go on a regular cruise to feel normal. :rolleyes:

 

Edited to add: I am not saying we won't go on a regular cruise.

Edited September 20, 2011 by Boytjie

[mcd1411]

I am normal, thank you. We go on gay charters and did a gay group on a regular cruise; I don't need to go on a regular cruise to feel normal. :rolleyes:

 

Edited to add: I am not saying we won't go on a regular cruise.

 

 

I never said you werent normal. Or anyone else for that matter. everyone is different hence why there is a choice in the first place. There is pros and cons to both cruises. I prefer the mixture of different people on board and never had a issue on any of my cruises.

[Boytjie]

I never said you werent normal. Or anyone else for that matter. everyone is different hence why there is a choice in the first place. There is pros and cons to both cruises. I prefer the mixture of different people on board and never had a issue on any of my cruises.

 

But you make a difference between gay charters and normal cruises, and suggest gay couples try a straight to see "how normal and enjoyable it is".

 

"Normal" is often used to describe things that are straight whereas gay things that are "not normal". That word just rubs me the wrong way when used in a gay/straight context, maybe it was not your intention to suggest that less gay was more normal.

[mcd1411]

But you make a difference between gay charters and normal cruises, and suggest gay couples try a straight to see "how normal and enjoyable it is".

 

"Normal" is often used to describe things that are straight whereas gay things that are "not normal". That word just rubs me the wrong way when used in a gay/straight context, maybe it was not your intention to suggest that less gay was more normal.

 

It doesnt make any difference if your gay or straight we are all people at the end of the day. maybe a wrong choice of word. I was only meant that we have never been treated any different as a gay couple on a non all gay cruise.

[cruiseelady]

If you think about it, Gay/lesbian cruises are taking advantage of your sexuality preference (or what ever you call it, sorry english is not my first language). Just because the cruise is catered to gay/lebian is not right to make the prices so high. Unless the cruise offers much more amneties, quality of food, ship, entaitainment, etc.

Edited September 21, 2011 by cruiseelady

[Boytjie]

If you think about it, Gay/lesbian cruises are taking advantage of your sexuality preference (or what ever you call it, sorry english is not my first language). Just because the cruise is catered to gay/lebian is not right to make the prices so high. Unless the cruise offers much more amneties, quality of food, ship, entaitainment, etc.

 

But they do just that! They offer a very different experience than a regular cruise.

[Darrell6t]

If you think about it, Gay/lesbian cruises are taking advantage of your sexuality preference (or what ever you call it, sorry english is not my first language). Just because the cruise is catered to gay/lebian is not right to make the prices so high. Unless the cruise offers much more amneties, quality of food, ship, entaitainment, etc.

 

And I am more than willing to take advantage of their expertise at putting together a wonderful, fun-filled holiday. They have every right to charge what they can get, giver the risks they take chartering an entire ship. Not to mention the special entertainment they bring aboard.

[Boytjie]

And I am more than willing to take advantage of their expertise at putting together a wonderful, fun-filled holiday. They have every right to charge what they can get, giver the risks they take chartering an entire ship. Not to mention the special entertainment they bring aboard.

 

How often have we gotten comments in port from passengers on other ships saying "we wish you were on YOUR ship!". :D

Edited September 22, 2011 by Boytjie

[Darrell6t]

How often have we gotten comments in port from passengers on other ships saying "we wish you were on YOUR ship!". :D

 

That happens quite often. And they don't even know about the parties after the ship leaves the dock.