Things I've Learned Reading Cruise Critic

[MrSnarkyPants]

I'm still on the fence between RCCL and CCL for next year's honeymoon, so I keep reading reviews of both ships as I try to decide what's the best deal.

 

However, I'm learning less about the ships as I am about the people who post here. To wit:

 

1. People love to talk about their status.

If there's anything you can count on at Cruise Critic, it's that people love to talk about just how many cruises they've taken and look down upon the unwashed masses that haven't hit an elite level in the cruise line's loyalty program. This manifests itself in one of two ways:

 

a) The namedropper. This is the guy who loves to flash his platinum membership card on ship because he thinks the world worships him. Only because of this affirmation can he enjoy his trip.

 

b) The "don't you know who I am" guy. Actual quotes from CC reviews: "For Platinum, Diamond and Diamond Plus member, no special lunch. Instead there is a 2ND welcome back greet without gold members where they server snacks (lame)." " In the theater, the first three balcony rows are blocked off to anyone below Diamond-Plus. We finally make Diamond, and we get squat! You would think that after 10 cruises (8/10 in balcony rooms) we could sit anywhere. Nope. People on their FIRST RCI cruise, who were in anykind of suite, got all the perks that should go to frequent cruisers. The fact is, that my husband and I have spent more on our 10 RCI cruises than first time cruisers in suites. Some loyalty program."

 

Guess what? If you're going to take the same vacation ten (or 28) times, you probably should be used to the drill of getting to the theatre early for prime seating. Why is the fact that you had to eat the same food as everyone else a big deal? After all, you've been on the ship so many times, you presumably like the food, right?

 

And for us, the gentle readers who are looking to see if we might enjoy spending a week on board the ship for the first time, trust me, we don't care a single bit whether the cabin stewards got down on their knees and kissed your ring or not. You paid for the same cruise as the other 1500 people on the boat. If you've been loyal to the line, you should know what to expect. Enjoy your vacation.

 

I've had elite status with airline and hotel loyalty clubs. It's nice to get a free bottle of water when you check in, but whether you stand in the long line that snakes around or you stand in the short one, it's not going to leave until you're on board.

 

2. The rules are for other people.

More actual quotes: "even though I bought a soda card, they still confiscated my Sprite that I ALWAYS take. They took them from checked in luggage, not carry-on. I like to have my Sprite to take my morning medicines. I don't like the faucet water...it smells. They would not budge on this issue."

 

I like reading that passage in a really whiny voice, because that's got to be how this person sounds 24/7 and I hope to never be on the same ship. Now that is coming from a RCCL review where they can't take on a 12 pack of soda in a carry-on, but please, it's not like anyone who posts here doesn't know that you can't check soda and beer on either line, but if you really have a thing about not taking your medicine to the buffet, maybe you could order room service?

 

"Our kids were constantly asked to show their IDs even though they weren't doing anything but sitting at a table with a drink in their hands, sometimes they were just walking in the hallways without a drink but were stopped anyway. RC strictly follows US laws regarding underage drinking. The guys were not allowed to even have a drink in the presence of their parents! The guys were not belligerent, loud, or bothering other travelers. They were just having a beer. My nephew, who will be 18 in March, was hounded for walking in the hallway after the 1:00 curfew for those under 18. IT WAS 1:05 A.M.!"

 

I wonder if the person who posted that knows this woman?

 

 

3. Carnival sucks because they don't have Honey Stung Chicken.

Really? You're going to base your entire opinion of a cruise line on a frozen chicken breast that I can buy at Costco?

 

Listen, I'm not going to judge the culinary skills of either line based on their buffet. But if you have an amazing experience in the steakhouse or dining room, tell us about it. How was the wine?

 

Did you have lunch or breakfast in the dining room? (I didn't notice that it was offered on my last cruise, but after reading about it here I'll try it on my next one.)

 

4. Royal Caribbean sucks because they don't have Chocolate Melting Cake

Not sure I understand the worship on these boards of the lava cake. You do realize that you can find that at restaurants on land as well as make it in your own kitchen, right? It's a safe bet that if a review opens with "CHOCOLATE MELTING CAKE!!! EVERY NIGHT!!!" a foodie isn't writing the review. Then again, I'm the type of person who goes out of his way on vacation to eat food I can't get at home. If I'm in Montego Bay, I'll walk over to the Pork Pit for some tasty jerk pork or chicken and pass everyone else eating overpriced cheeseburgers at Margaritaville. It's not that I'm better than you, I just enjoy eating like a local whether I'm in Des Moines or Singapore, and the locals places are usually cheaper (unless it's the Caymans). Mention a dessert in your review that I can't readily find and you'll grab my interest.

 

5. If you're a shareholder, you deserve perks.

If you have $40 in your pocket, yes, you too can be a shareholder. And as a shareholder, you should be concerned about the profit per passenger that the line makes. Know what a Southwest Airlines shareholder gets on board a flight? Peanuts and a soda. So does everyone else.

[Bo Didly]

I'm still on the fence between RCCL and CCL for next year's honeymoon, so I keep reading reviews of both ships as I try to decide what's the best deal.

 

However, I'm learning less about the ships as I am about the people who post here. To wit:

 

1. People love to talk about their status.

If there's anything you can count on at Cruise Critic, it's that people love to talk about just how many cruises they've taken and look down upon the unwashed masses that haven't hit an elite level in the cruise line's loyalty program. This manifests itself in one of two ways:

 

a) The namedropper. This is the guy who loves to flash his platinum membership card on ship because he thinks the world worships him. Only because of this affirmation can he enjoy his trip.

 

b) The "don't you know who I am" guy. Actual quotes from CC reviews: "For Platinum, Diamond and Diamond Plus member, no special lunch. Instead there is a 2ND welcome back greet without gold members where they server snacks (lame)." " In the theater, the first three balcony rows are blocked off to anyone below Diamond-Plus. We finally make Diamond, and we get squat! You would think that after 10 cruises (8/10 in balcony rooms) we could sit anywhere. Nope. People on their FIRST RCI cruise, who were in anykind of suite, got all the perks that should go to frequent cruisers. The fact is, that my husband and I have spent more on our 10 RCI cruises than first time cruisers in suites. Some loyalty program."

 

Guess what? If you're going to take the same vacation ten (or 28) times, you probably should be used to the drill of getting to the theatre early for prime seating. Why is the fact that you had to eat the same food as everyone else a big deal? After all, you've been on the ship so many times, you presumably like the food, right?

 

And for us, the gentle readers who are looking to see if we might enjoy spending a week on board the ship for the first time, trust me, we don't care a single bit whether the cabin stewards got down on their knees and kissed your ring or not. You paid for the same cruise as the other 1500 people on the boat. If you've been loyal to the line, you should know what to expect. Enjoy your vacation.

 

I've had elite status with airline and hotel loyalty clubs. It's nice to get a free bottle of water when you check in, but whether you stand in the long line that snakes around or you stand in the short one, it's not going to leave until you're on board.

 

2. The rules are for other people.

More actual quotes: "even though I bought a soda card, they still confiscated my Sprite that I ALWAYS take. They took them from checked in luggage, not carry-on. I like to have my Sprite to take my morning medicines. I don't like the faucet water...it smells. They would not budge on this issue."

 

I like reading that passage in a really whiny voice, because that's got to be how this person sounds 24/7 and I hope to never be on the same ship. Now that is coming from a RCCL review where they can't take on a 12 pack of soda in a carry-on, but please, it's not like anyone who posts here doesn't know that you can't check soda and beer on either line, but if you really have a thing about not taking your medicine to the buffet, maybe you could order room service?

 

"Our kids were constantly asked to show their IDs even though they weren't doing anything but sitting at a table with a drink in their hands, sometimes they were just walking in the hallways without a drink but were stopped anyway. RC strictly follows US laws regarding underage drinking. The guys were not allowed to even have a drink in the presence of their parents! The guys were not belligerent, loud, or bothering other travelers. They were just having a beer. My nephew, who will be 18 in March, was hounded for walking in the hallway after the 1:00 curfew for those under 18. IT WAS 1:05 A.M.!"

 

I wonder if the person who posted that knows this woman?

 

 

3. Carnival sucks because they don't have Honey Stung Chicken.

Really? You're going to base your entire opinion of a cruise line on a frozen chicken breast that I can buy at Costco?

 

Listen, I'm not going to judge the culinary skills of either line based on their buffet. But if you have an amazing experience in the steakhouse or dining room, tell us about it. How was the wine?

 

Did you have lunch or breakfast in the dining room? (I didn't notice that it was offered on my last cruise, but after reading about it here I'll try it on my next one.)

 

4. Royal Caribbean sucks because they don't have Chocolate Melting Cake

Not sure I understand the worship on these boards of the lava cake. You do realize that you can find that at restaurants on land as well as make it in your own kitchen, right? It's a safe bet that if a review opens with "CHOCOLATE MELTING CAKE!!! EVERY NIGHT!!!" a foodie isn't writing the review. Then again, I'm the type of person who goes out of his way on vacation to eat food I can't get at home. If I'm in Montego Bay, I'll walk over to the Pork Pit for some tasty jerk pork or chicken and pass everyone else eating overpriced cheeseburgers at Margaritaville. It's not that I'm better than you, I just enjoy eating like a local whether I'm in Des Moines or Singapore, and the locals places are usually cheaper (unless it's the Caymans). Mention a dessert in your review that I can't readily find and you'll grab my interest.

 

5. If you're a shareholder, you deserve perks.

If you have $40 in your pocket, yes, you too can be a shareholder. And as a shareholder, you should be concerned about the profit per passenger that the line makes. Know what a Southwest Airlines shareholder gets on board a flight? Peanuts and a soda. So does everyone else.

 

 

Mr SnarkyPants , you have set some brain cells in motion here.

I Think your post is gonna set you a bit above the gentle reader :D

[psbaldi]

Popping the popcorn to get a good seat to watch the show :p

[MzChris87]

Nicely put! Kudos :)

[helicopter]

Pretty close to correct about some of the post:eek:

[lillian marie]

We're platinum and love CCL. It's the best bang for your cruising buck. The food is better than any cruise line we're travelled, and we've done all the U.S. Port cruise lines. You can't beat CCL in my opinion.

[PimpTastic1]

I am one of the unwashed masses and I approve this thread. I myself was in a platinum/non-platinum scuffle last week.

 

Summary

 

Carnival: Here is a new policy or procedure.

 

Non-Platinum cruiser: OK.

Platinum cruiser: This should/does not apply to us.

[Roe95695]

Very well put..

 

I just want to be on the ship with a DOD in my hand and I don't care whether or not I have only been able to afford 1 cruise so far.

 

Thanks

[Scrapenthusiast]

LOL~ OP you are spot on! As someone else mentioned I'll be watching "the show" too. ;)

[KCCruisin']

The OP's post is a breath of fresh air!:)

[williamson_ja]

This was a totally funny post. You have to be able to poke fun at yourself. Awesome. :)

[anna32182]

*applause*

 

Just off the Destiny, where someone actually had the gall to flash me their platinum card and ask me to move loungers.

 

Uh, no?

 

Thanks for the post, OP.

[V8cruiser]

I've noticed this thread is missing a few key posters...I wont name names, but I think they are still over on the other post calling that poster a liar....they should have returned to Mom's basement by now to finish the nerds and dragons game and hide behind the screen name and tell us what idiots and unworthy cretins we all are.... thanks...really! some of the newbies dont want to ask or post anything because they know they will have to deal with these....people.....maybe the uppers can help us block the rude, insulting ones so we can get answers and sometimes opinions to things we feel are important enough to ask about. its like raising your hand to ask the teacher that hates kids a question in 3rd grade.......:rolleyes:

[Catrin]

As a Platinum Cruiser... I deserve to enjoy this post more than anyone else. :)

 

Totally hysterical... and SPOT ON!

 

PS. Hope you DO chose Carnival, a really great cruiseline and you will love it.

 

Catrin

[Irishlinny]

I've noticed this thread is missing a few key posters...I wont name names, but I think they are still over on the other post calling that poster a liar....they should have returned to Mom's basement by now to finish the nerds and dragons game and hide behind the screen name and tell us what idiots and unworthy cretins we all are.... thanks...really! some of the newbies dont want to ask or post anything because they know they will have to deal with these....people.....maybe the uppers can help us block the rude, insulting ones so we can get answers and sometimes opinions to things we feel are important enough to ask about. its like raising your hand to ask the teacher that hates kids a question in 3rd grade.......:rolleyes:

Everyone should post whatever question they have. Ignore any snide remarks and pull out the real answers. There are many of us who are here to help, not belittle:) Unfortunately it's the old hide-behind-the-screen thing with many.:rolleyes:

 

To the OP, well done! We are almost Platinum, and I can assure you, you won't see any comments like that from us when we achieve it!;)

[TOPNET]

One of the best post on this board in a long time! Spot on!

[golfb4cruzing]

The usuals won't touch this one. They only argue the nonsensical. It will die quickly and they will wait for the next dress code question. Silly wabbits.:p

[McBlessings]

Good laughs all around!!

[ilovetexas]

The usuals won't touch this one. They only argue the nonsensical. It will die quickly and they will wait for the next dress code question. Silly wabbits.:p

 

Maybe we could have a completely separate board for "the usuals". That way they can all fight with and be nasty to each other and leave the rest of us alone! :D

[kazbar]

I love it! :D

 

 

 

I would love to see just one thread here where people don't feel the need to mention the word "platinum". Seriously people, no one cares except you.

[re-re]

Two thumbs up,love it!!!:D

[Stongette]

I've noticed this thread is missing a few key posters...I wont name names, but I think they are still over on the other post calling that poster a liar....they should have returned to Mom's basement by now to finish the nerds and dragons game and hide behind the screen name and tell us what idiots and unworthy cretins we all are.... thanks...really! some of the newbies dont want to ask or post anything because they know they will have to deal with these....people.....maybe the uppers can help us block the rude, insulting ones so we can get answers and sometimes opinions to things we feel are important enough to ask about. its like raising your hand to ask the teacher that hates kids a question in 3rd grade.......:rolleyes:

 

I'm sorry I don't believe you....show me a picture of these posters and maybe I'll believe you. ;)

 

Oh and Catrin...we are also sailing on the Carnival Dream in Aug (same itinerary). Which week are you going? We are doing the 8/20 cruise. Can't wait

[Scrapenthusiast]

I've noticed this thread is missing a few key posters...I wont name names, but I think they are still over on the other post calling that poster a liar....they should have returned to Mom's basement by now to finish the nerds and dragons game and hide behind the screen name and tell us what idiots and unworthy cretins we all are.... thanks...really! some of the newbies dont want to ask or post anything because they know they will have to deal with these....people.....maybe the uppers can help us block the rude, insulting ones so we can get answers and sometimes opinions to things we feel are important enough to ask about. its like raising your hand to ask the teacher that hates kids a question in 3rd grade.......:rolleyes:

 

Well said! I have been taken back by some of the outright rudeness of some of the more experienced cruisers.....and in fact this had made me think twice before posting a question.

[PROCRUISE]

Thanks for the best laughs I've had from any post in a long time.

[English Tim]

One of the things I've learnt about internet forums is that usually if a post is very long, unless it's a review, I stop reading it after a couple of paragraphs and this one was no exception, so I'm afraid I can't comment much!;)