Obnoxious Table Mates???

[WeBeCruisin']

Is this the sort of enlightened discussion on religion you were referring to earlier?

 

Schplinky, it was a joke. :) :D :rolleyes: However, my wife and I lived on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, for a few years, and the most obnoxious people there were almost always from Ohio or New York. If the halo fits........

 

Allen

[WeBeCruisin']

I have not seen these topics in the spirit you mention ever. Most often, they are discussed to find out if you are "one of us" or "one of them."

 

When religion is discussed with that itinerary in mind, then you can rest assured that the prosleyzers and evangelists will all roast in one of the warmer climes of Hades. :cool:

 

Allen

[CLapple]

clapple - as a native Texan it would have made me laugh. We do have a sense of humor down here!! That's bipartisan!

 

I thought it was totally nonpartisan. :-)

[davidaperryman]

Posted by dc-snoopy

"I'm not so sure...as someone of the minority political view and party as the majority of my state, I'm not positive that those of the "majority political party" have a sense of humor."

 

You just need to grow up and get on with your life.

 

We won, you lost.

 

Get over it.

[nauticaz24]

Schplinky' date=' it was a joke. :) :D :rolleyes: However, my wife and I lived on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, for a few years, and the most obnoxious people there were almost always from Ohio or New York. If the halo fits........

 

Allen[/quote']

 

 

AND I TOTALLY AGREE!!!!!!!!

[dc-snoopy]

Posted by dc-snoopy

"I'm not so sure...as someone of the minority political view and party as the majority of my state, I'm not positive that those of the "majority political party" have a sense of humor."

 

You just need to grow up and get on with your life.

 

We won, you lost.

 

Get over it.

 

Ummm...now who has no sense of humor? For what it's worth, you might want to pay a little closer attention to the political map. MD happens to be a very liberal state and I happen to be in the Republican minority. That aside, note the use of the smiley...it was a joke. If you can't take a joke, you need to grow up and get on with your life.

[Schplinky]

I'd like to thank everyone for illustrating why religion and politics can be awkward dinner subjects.

[terri23]

Posted by dc-snoopy

"I'm not so sure...as someone of the minority political view and party as the majority of my state, I'm not positive that those of the "majority political party" have a sense of humor."

 

You just need to grow up and get on with your life.

 

We won, you lost.

 

Get over it.

 

Lovely. Hopefully we'll get lots of table mates with your abilities as a conversationalist.

 

We once sat with a couple at breakfast that were very pleasant to us and the other table mates. However, they were rude, bodering on abusive, to the waitress. Issues with the fruit, sugar free vs. regular syrup, how much the eggs benedict were cooked (and this ham is too salty!) were tough to watch. I actually think they thought they were impressing us by "exercising" the staff so much. The rest of us were just hungry and wishing we could be served.

 

Otherwise, we have been very lucky so far!

[EscapeFromConnecticut]

So I only pray that the people next to US in the dining room in this upcoming week will NOT bring up a negative perspective on the subject. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but they should keep them to themselves in this dinning room setting.

 

Indeed, all sides are invited to check their opinions at the door.

During my VACATION, I've simply got no interest in hearing strangers preach to me about religion, Iraq or politics. Zero. And that's especially true at the ship's dining table.

On our last trip, a guy in a hot tub was talking about scuba, Jamaica, his life back in Tennessee ... all fine. Out of nowhere, he bought in the war: "I know some people don't agree with me, but I think we had to go into Iraq. After all, they bombed our buildings. Why, it was just like the Chinese at Pearl Harbor."

And the guy was both sober and serious.:rolleyes:

[tdms1324]

On my last cruise, my mother and I were seated at a table for ten. One of the couples was a fairly old man with one arm and his long time girlfriend. On the first night, I ended up sitting next to the man. I figured he was a sweet old man and the others at the table seemed very nice. Imagine my discomfort when the old man started whispering comments about his thoughts on what sized bras both my mother and I wore. I was very happy that I was sitting on his armless side!!! He leered at all of the women at the table all the while making suggestive comments.

 

Every night after that it was a race, with the other diners, to get to the table first so that we could situate ourselves so as not be the one sitting next to the old guy.

 

We saw this guy all around the ship acting inappropriately. Security hauled him out of the disco one night after he wouldn't stop harrassing this poor girl.

[biff_and_amers]

I know exactly what you mean! I was on a cruise once and the people were so rude! They talked about politics' date=' religion, human behavior, psychology, art, literature, current events, travel, and lots of other stupid stuff like that. I showed them, though. I just yawned in their faces, put my head down on the table and told them to wake me up when they were through talking about stupid stuff.

 

Allen[/quote']

 

Was that sarcastic? (I HOPE!)

[hstrybuf]

Oh yes! That was Allen with tongue firmly in cheek. :D I personally prefer not to talk about several subject with strangers at dinner: Sex, politics, religion, money and Iraq.

[first timer with teens]

And DON'T ask Allen WHICH cheek! ;)

[dc-snoopy]

And DON'T ask Allen WHICH cheek! ;)

 

With Allen, is there a difference? D'oh! :D

 

This is much more fun that politics and religion!

[dc-snoopy]

On our last trip, a guy in a hot tub was talking about scuba, Jamaica, his life back in Tennessee ... all fine. Out of nowhere, he bought in the war: "I know some people don't agree with me, but I think we had to go into Iraq. After all, they bombed our buildings. Why, it was just like the Chinese at Pearl Harbor."

And the guy was both sober and serious.:rolleyes:

 

Unfortunately, frequently the people with the loudest opinions are the ones with the most ignorance (least knowledge?)

 

You really don't want to know how many aspersions have been cast my way throughout my life as a Chinese American about what "my people" did at Pearl Harbor.

[island-hoppers]

My DH and I were seated with 'one of those' snooty, we're soooo high and mighty type couples for breakfast one morning, so I decided to have a little fun with it. It was on the Grand Princess, they were an older well-to-do couple that began bragging about how many cruises they'd done with Princess, how they got upgraded to a balcony for x$, how they paid large $ to a girl who kept there dog while they travelled, etc, etc, etc. I very calmly and cooly snided back with how those 'normal rooms' were just too cramped for us, we insisted on suites. That we normally cruised with Radisson or Cunard and were only on the Princess because we were traveling with another couple who just couldn't afford anything better and how I was displeased with it's lower level of quality and that I knew EXACTLY what she meant about pets being our babies, as we paid big $$$$$ to have a dog-sitter come stay at OUR house. (Only the last part being true) .. ROFLMAO .. my DH and I still laugh about that morning. As soon as we realized how 'snooty' they were, I just very nonchalantly and quite snooty myself started topping her every brag with one of my own. It didn't take my DH long to start playing along also .. it was a hoot !!

[beachchick]

I agree that those are all "safe" topics and unlikely to offend anyone (or' date=' possibly interest them :D ) although, literature can be a topic which can very quickly alienate people, too. Especially since over 50 per cent of Americans have never read a book once they got out of school. Try discussing Shakespeare or James Joyce with a Danielle Steel or Stephen King fan and watch the sparks fly.:) Most people are uncomfortable discussing anything outside their somewhat narrow spheres of interest, so most conversations sink to the lowest common denominator. Everyone, however, considers themselves to be an expert on politics and religion.:rolleyes:

 

Allen[/quote']

 

I must respectfully disagree that Stephen King fans, for example, are de facto uncomfortable or incapable of discussing Shakespeare.

 

First, my father (2 master's degrees; high school teacher in multiple subjects; extremely well versed in both the arts and sciences) could (and would) discuss just about anything with anybody. He never acted like he was "better" than someone who was not well informed on any particular subject. He was also willing to admit when he didn't know something.

 

Second, just because I have an MA in English (writing/college teaching/technical communication as my concentrations) doesn't mean I don't love to read modern fiction (yes, the stuff I guess you assume is "below" you--mystery, light fiction, etc.). It also doesn't mean that I think I know everything there is to know about classic literature and the other human arts. For example, I loathe most Victorian literature and can discuss it only to the extent that I was forced to study it in high school and college. OTOH, I am extremely well versed in theater, musical theater, and light opera because those are avocations of both me and my DH. I can also tell you the plot of the most current John Grisham and Mary Daheim novels. Or if you prefer, I enjoy discussing Hawking's A Brief History of Time, as well as Briggs's Turbulent Mirror (chaos theory and the nature of science, in case you didn't know).

 

So before you get so darned high and mighty about your ability to discuss literary masters versus those who enjoy "low brow" fiction, I suggest you rethink your assumptions. I'd also like to know just where you get your facts regarding the percentage of people who "never read a book" once they finish school. If that's the case, I can't help but wonder just how it is that bookstores are thriving and proliferating throughout the country.

 

Frankly, I'm sure I wouldn't enjoy having you as a table mate because my father taught me that while most people have something interesting to contribute, not all of them have something worth listening to for more than a minute. I'm fairly certain that I would have no interest in what you consider "important."

 

beachchick

[Magicat]

"It is better to be thought the fool by remaining silent then to speak up and remove all doubt"

[WeBeCruisin']

On my last cruise, my mother and I were seated at a table for ten. One of the couples was a fairly old man with one arm and his long time girlfriend. On the first night, I ended up sitting next to the man. I figured he was a sweet old man and the others at the table seemed very nice. Imagine my discomfort when the old man started whispering comments about his thoughts on what sized bras both my mother and I wore. I was very happy that I was sitting on his armless side!!!.

 

I think you had a sense of false security by sitting on his armless side. He could very easily have "nubbed" you. :eek:

 

Allen

[Onessa]

. . .if you are in a relationship that is "not the norm", do you try and tell people discretly in conversation to save yourself the questions?

 

Yes, if you want to be able to carry on some interesting, civilized conversation with your tablemates, it is important that you are willing to make some gestures that help make the others comfortable. I appreciate knowing up front a few things about the people with whom I am dining. If you are travelling with your spouse (no matter what the age differences), it is appropriate to introduce him or her as such. If you are travelling with friends and have left your spouses at home, letting everyone know may be a great icebreaker. And it will avoid awkward misunderstandings.

 

If you do not want to converse with your tablemates, or if you want to portray a "sense of mystery" - go ahead and keep them guessing! Just don't be offended if they guess wrong! :D

[WeBeCruisin']

I must respectfully disagree that Stephen King fans, for example, are de facto uncomfortable or incapable of discussing Shakespeare.

First, my father (2 master's degrees; high school teacher in multiple subjects; extremely well versed in both the arts and sciences) could (and would) discuss just about anything with anybody. He never acted like he was "better" than someone who was not well informed on any particular subject. Second, just because I have an MA in English (writing/college teaching/technical communication as my concentrations) doesn't mean I don't love to read modern fiction (yes, the stuff I guess you assume is "below" you--mystery, light fiction, etc.).

So before you get so darned high and mighty about your ability to discuss literary masters versus those who enjoy "low brow" fiction, I suggest you rethink your assumptions. I'd also like to know just where you get your facts regarding the percentage of people who "never read a book" once they finish school. If that's the case, I can't help but wonder just how it is that bookstores are thriving and proliferating throughout the country.

Frankly, I'm sure I wouldn't enjoy having you as a table mate because my father taught me that while most people have something interesting to contribute, not all of them have something worth listening to for more than a minute. I'm fairly certain that I would have no interest in what you consider "important."

beachchick

 

Chill, Beachchick, chill. Down, Beachchick, down. Take a deep breath and listen carefully. The :) emoticon implied that I was intending to be good-naturedly humorous in my generalization about a discussion between a Shakespearean scholar and a Stephen King devotee. Also, a generalization suggests situations which might occur, and is not a blanket statement that all people in such a situation will act in a prescribed way. I was not implying, nor should you have inferred that I thought that you and your Dad with your exalted degrees were not capable of appreciating popular literature.

 

You seem a little hypocritical, though, in that you made a lot of assumptions about me, my personality, and my preferences. First of all, I didn't say whether I was of the Shakespeare/Joyce ilk or of the King/Steel persuasion, did I? You assumed. Also I did not give you MY educational background, nor did I give you MY literary proclivities, did I? You assumed. You call me "so darned high and mighty about (my) ability to discuss literary masters" without even knowing squat about me. You accuse me of thinking that popular literature is below me, without knowing diddley squat about me. And then you top it off by telling me you would hate having me as a table mate and that anything I might have to say would be of no interest to you.... without, I might add, knowing squat diddley squat about me.

 

For your edification, I have a masters in literature, and taught high school English for 16 years. After leaving teaching, due to the dearth of jobs available to former English teachers, I spent another 12 years as a general manager with Waldenbooks, Media Play, and Borders, which qualifies me to know more than just a little bit about books and bookstores.

 

My statistics about American reading habits, of which you questioned the validity, were in an article I read a few months ago in Publishers Weekly, I think. It was based upon all of the people in our country, not just the magnificently privileged and educated people, such as you and your father. It gave numbers which said that half of Americans never read a complete book other than that which is needed in their schooling or subsequent educational ventures.

 

In answer to your implication that oodles of people must be reading books, since bookstores are still in operation, I know for a fact, having 12 years of experience in bookstores, that most of the books are bought by the same people, and a much larger percentage than you would think are books which are non-fiction or instructional in nature (and that would include cookbooks, diet books, self-help books, business books, test guides, travel books, children's books, etc.). At a manager's conference a few years back, we were told that something like 20 per cent of the population buys 95 per cent of the books sold in this country.

 

I personally read about a book a week. Since my wife works and i don't, I have the time to do so, along with researching vacations and playing tennis every day. It's a rough life. And I don't look down on people who don't read a lot. When I was teaching and my three sons were young, I realized that I was only reading a book or two a year, and those were educational books. I then began budgeting a certain amount of time each day to reading, and re-discovered reading for pleasure. My reading habits are diverse. I have read all six volumes of Proust's "Remembrance of Things Past", all of James Joyce, every word of both the Old and New Testaments, most of Shakespeare, yet I also tremendously enjoy popular "light" literature and, in addition to having read quite a few Stephen King books (and enjoyed them), I've read every book by Carl Hiaasen, Michael Connelly, James Lee Burke, Robert Ferrigno, T. Jefferson Parker, Dennis Lehane, Robert Crais, Tim Dorsey, Lawrence Block, Laurence Shames, about 15 of Jonathan Kellerman's, all of the Lawrence Sanders "McNally" books, James W. Hall, Harlan Coben, etc. etc. etc.

 

So, Ms. Beachchick, I think you should rethink your assumptions. I think you should wait for actual knowledge of a situation and of a person before you attack them. I think you would actually love to sit at a table with me, but your actions and attacks have certainly convinced me that I would NOT enjoy sitting with someone as judgmental and prone to unfairly attack someone else as you appear to be.

 

XXX OOO

Allen

[hstrybuf]

Allen, I think we could get into some interesting conversations. While I don't read some of the authors you mention, I'm an avid reader myself. Currently I'm reading two books. The biography of Benjamin Franklin is interesting if not the easiest of reads. The other is akin to The Da Vinci Code. I'm thinking I might have to visit Borders again soon for some lighter reading. Maybe some Clive Cussler, Dean Kootz or a trashy romance novel. :D

[Happy ks]

We have been fortunate to never have obnoxious table mates. Some have been a bit boring, but tolerable.

 

The most obnoxious person for us was a guy at the next table, complaining about the children in the dining room. He was louder than any of the kids and we kept wishing his wife would take him out of the dining room for a little walk until he calmed down.

[WeBeCruisin']

I'm thinking I might have to visit Borders again soon for some lighter reading. Maybe some Clive Cussler, Dean Kootz or a trashy romance novel. :D

 

Deb, I'm also a sucker for "chick" flicks (I cry almost every time) and reality shows..... the ultimate "guilty pleasure". How tawdry is that??:eek:

 

Allen

[Jane110]

Yes, if you want to be able to carry on some interesting, civilized conversation with your tablemates, it is important that you are willing to make some gestures that help make the others comfortable. I appreciate knowing up front a few things about the people with whom I am dining. If you are travelling with your spouse (no matter what the age differences), it is appropriate to introduce him or her as such. If you are travelling with friends and have left your spouses at home, letting everyone know may be a great icebreaker. And it will avoid awkward misunderstandings.

 

If you do not want to converse with your tablemates, or if you want to portray a "sense of mystery" - go ahead and keep them guessing! Just don't be offended if they guess wrong! :D

 

 

I totally agree! And may I add that the use of the word "partner" can be confusing? I don't know whether it's 2 business partners (who are also friends) traveling together or a gay couple. I still prefer the term "significant other". It's not the most sophisticated expression, but at least it defines the relationship without confusion.

 

Jane