Single parents traveling with kids...

[OklaCruiserMom]

Hello all. I have been planning and looking forward to our family cruise in May for almost a year now. See, in theory this cruise is for the kids- their graduation from high school and all. Don't believe it for a minute. This is something ** I ** wanted to do, and the idea came along at just the right moment. Graduation was the perfect occasion and we were able to plan it.

 

I am an obsessive planner and I was able to get my hands on some Cruise Compasses from the same ship and itinerary that we're sailing, and start looking at some of the things I want to do. I chose the ship mainly for Chicago, I would love to dine at the Samba Grill, I'd love to go to Rita's Fiesta, I'd like to go to one or two of the singles events, and there are even a few excursions I might have done (Downhill Trek in St. Martin) IF I weren't traveling with a crew of children who don't need to see/hear certain things on a stage, don't like a lot of meat or Mexican Food, can't drink, and wouldn't know what do do with a Downhill Trek if it bit them.

 

So whaddaya do? I'd like to hear from other single parents who have cruised with their kids, who have had to decide if their offspring would feel all abandoned if you left them in the cabin for an evening and did your own thing.

 

Note: Yes, two of the kids in question are 18, but one of them is developmentally delayed and acts more like 14 much of the time. Their younger brother is adventurous and might like to try some of these things with me, but due to his age, certain scheduling constraints would be put on specialty dining venues like Samba Grill, etc.

 

Also, the delayed one and the younger bro tend to fight a lot when left alone and I would hate to be called to my cabin from the Traffic Light singles party to explain to security why there are Volume issues and Death Threats seeping out from under my cabin door.

 

But hey. Maybe I'm fretting over nothing- maybe the excitement and novelty of being on a cruise would delay any fighting that they might otherwise do, but I can't be sure.

 

????

 

ETA: I definitely wouldn't let them run amok all over the ship; they would be confined to watching tv in the cabin if I chose to do something by myself.

[boulders]

If we are talking about the evenings, I would have the 11 year old in Adventure Ocean and keep the 18 year olds with you OR keep everyone with you. That is assuming that they don't want to chill in the stateroom. Two out of three of my kids love AO and never want to leave. The other would rather chill in the stateroom.

 

During the daytime, the average 18 year old female would be fine to be on her own, as would the average 11 year old boy. I have a teenage son and a teenage daughter. Although my ds is fine to be out and about in the evenings, it would be a looong time, like maybe when she's 25, that I let my dd be out and about by herself in the evening on a cruise ship.

[OklaCruiserMom]

Thanks for the response! I'm thinking maybe I'm underestimating the girls. So far they've been pretty non-independent, fairly clingy, you know? We're a pretty close family and we enjoy doing things together, and we have fun together in situations like this a lot of times, but maybe if I encouraged them, they would strike out on their own and explore the ship and meet people instead of it being all about just the 4 of us for the whole trip. I am trying to envision whether they will want to stick together with me and the little bro the whole time or take off and mingle like normal teenagers. I kind of expect the former.

 

Or... maybe I'm being a little selfish (a lot?) thinking about what I can do without them. It IS supposed to be about them, after all. Maybe I should just look at it like, I do whatever they want to do this trip, and hopefully someday in the future I'll get to take another cruise, just me and some other adult person and I can do all the things I want to do then.

 

 

I always forget about AO, but one thing I forgot to mention about The Boy is that he has social issues, mood instability issues, and I'm not sure how he would do in there. He can be very moody at times, and also does not pick up on social cues very well. I guess we'll have to just give AO a try and if he gets mad and they call me to come get him, then he won't go there anymore.

[boulders]

Especially on the Allure of the Seas, there will be a ton of things to do as a family or as individuals. We usually just go with the flow. There will be a cruise Compass every day detailing what activities are going on that day. For us, it's just usually a "What do you want to do today" type of scenario.

 

There may be a get together for 18-20 year olds on the first day or so. Keep an eye out for that as it would be nice for your 18 year olds to find others their age to hang out with. On our last cruise, my dd told me "Mom, the nicest girls are on cruises" :)

[OklaCruiserMom]

Especially on the Allure of the Seas, there will be a ton of things to do as a family or as individuals. We usually just go with the flow. There will be a cruise Compass every day detailing what activities are going on that day. For us, it's just usually a "What do you want to do today" type of scenario.

 

There may be a get together for 18-20 year olds on the first day or so. Keep an eye out for that as it would be nice for your 18 year olds to find others their age to hang out with. On our last cruise, my dd told me "Mom, the nicest girls are on cruises" :)

 

 

That would be awesome. They are kind of "mean-girl shy" having gone through a lot with such people while they've been in school. And like I said, not big minglers.

[kassimer1]

did you contact the special needs program on the boat. They may be able to arrange a sitter for you for child. You can also go on your roll call and see if there are other children thier age and have them meet up on the first day or email before the trip so they have someone to hang with .

[mjkacmom]

If we are talking about the evenings, I would have the 11 year old in Adventure Ocean and keep the 18 year olds with you OR keep everyone with you. That is assuming that they don't want to chill in the stateroom. Two out of three of my kids love AO and never want to leave. The other would rather chill in the stateroom.

 

During the daytime, the average 18 year old female would be fine to be on her own, as would the average 11 year old boy. I have a teenage son and a teenage daughter. Although my ds is fine to be out and about in the evenings, it would be a looong time, like maybe when she's 25, that I let my dd be out and about by herself in the evening on a cruise ship.

 

Am I missing something? I allowed my then 14 year old dd to meet up with friends every night on our cruise. I also gave my ds12 a lot of freedom as well (being alone in the cabin, hanging out with a friend - he'd check in every couple of hours). They also attended the shows.

[inluv4life]

Sorry, but I just wanted to give my convictions on this as past teenage cruiser who has grown up to be a mother of 3.

My parents took my youngrr brothrr snd i on cruises often while i was 18, 19, aland 20 years old. From a sheltered teens perspective, there was a lot of trouble to be had on the ship after dark! Without parental supervision and with lots of peer pressure, I found most of my first bad experiences on cruises. Just a few examples for you would be older boys with there own cabins who sponsored parties(think liquor and college boys looking to score), fellow cruisers who scored marijuana in Jamaica and smuggled it onto the ship, older guys at the clubs to buy you beers(the bartender's never cared) even some instance of early teens getting drunk, and even ship employees trying to hook up with guests. Even though many places at night were crowded, there was always somewhere on the ship that had no one at all at night. My parents never had a clue what was out there. We had adjoining cabins since they always gave them deals on our bookings. So I easily snuck in at night after they had gone to sleep.

 

I don't want to scare or upset you. I just thought you'd want to know in order to help you better dicern. Personally, being a mom now after all the mistakes of my youth, I want to be as informed as possible so that I can guide and protect my kids. I'm sure you all will have a wonderful vacation filled with laughter and a lifetime of memories.

[OklaCruiserMom]

Sorry, but I just wanted to give my convictions on this as past teenage cruiser who has grown up to be a mother of 3.

My parents took my youngrr brothrr snd i on cruises often while i was 18, 19, aland 20 years old. From a sheltered teens perspective, there was a lot of trouble to be had on the ship after dark! Without parental supervision and with lots of peer pressure, I found most of my first bad experiences on cruises. Just a few examples for you would be older boys with there own cabins who sponsored parties(think liquor and college boys looking to score), fellow cruisers who scored marijuana in Jamaica and smuggled it onto the ship, older guys at the clubs to buy you beers(the bartender's never cared) even some instance of early teens getting drunk, and even ship employees trying to hook up with guests. Even though many places at night were crowded, there was always somewhere on the ship that had no one at all at night. My parents never had a clue what was out there. We had adjoining cabins since they always gave them deals on our bookings. So I easily snuck in at night after they had gone to sleep.

 

I don't want to scare or upset you. I just thought you'd want to know in order to help you better dicern. Personally, being a mom now after all the mistakes of my youth, I want to be as informed as possible so that I can guide and protect my kids. I'm sure you all will have a wonderful vacation filled with laughter and a lifetime of memories.

 

Wow, thank you! What an honest post and excellent eye-opener for current parents taking their teens on cruises when they might not have had the first clue what kind of atmosphere it is. I appreciate the information.

 

I can't really imagine my girls going out there and meeting friends and hanging out with them apart from me- not on a cruise ship full of thousands of strangers. They might, but we'll see. They are just sooo shy and haven't even had a lot of friends here at home. I hope they have fun and meet a few people to talk to on this trip, but this I know... whether they end up taking advantage of a bit of freedom I might give them or whether we spend the entire week as a family pack, I am going to be giving them all this information and setting down ironclad rules for where they are supposed to be and when, and if they break those, they will be tethered to my side for the rest of the trip, whether it cramps my plans or not.

 

Thanks again for the information!

 

PS- one advantage we will have is that we'll all be in the same cabin! Lol.