keeping kids safe on the ship..

[praline3001]

I was reading about crime on the ships... both theft and assaults.

This thread is not about what the cruise line should do for security or shame on the cruise lines or never take your kids on a cruise lol

 

What this thread is about are ways we can teach our kids ..or give them a refresher course.. on staying safe while on board. This is a "keep it positive" thread of empowering parents and kids and not a tattle tail thread or complaints thread :D It is also not a "My brother's wife's uncle's cousin had this happen to her..." thread lol

 

There is a lot of drinking on a ship. When there are drunks around, morals and sense can go out the window. How does this effect your well developed 14 year old daughter?

 

What can we do as parents to make sure the kids are safe but have a terrific time the week? Lectures ..talk to your kids.. lectures... we all know those do not work HA HA Most teens have an off switch when mom and dad have a serious conversation with them :rolleyes:

[luvcruisetime]

Tell them to not set their drink down and leave it. If they do, don't go back to it, get another drink. Don't want an unexpected substance to make it's way in there. :eek:

[praline3001]

Tell them to not set their drink down and leave it. If they do, don't go back to it, get another drink. Don't want an unexpected substance to make it's way in there. :eek:

 

I am all about showing rather then telling ...like I said, teens do not listen to lectures.

 

I had a friend with a 16 year old daughter who showed her how fast this could happen. She slipped a half a bottle of Tabasco sauce in her can of coke she left on the counter in their house :p

The lesson sunk in pretty quickly ;)

[Chrisconn]

Supervision. 14 is still very young!

[praline3001]

Supervision. 14 is still very young!

 

I agree. However they have the teen areas and clubs on the ship. These are supervised but stuff happens. Creeps can be anywhere. The teen areas are not babysitting services so much as a place for them to hang out.

[praline3001]

I know I said no tattle tales but here is a real life event that did happen on a ship not too long ago and was all over the news. I am sure anyone who follows cruise stuff has heard about it. I am using it as an example of how we need to find ways to teach our kids to use their brains ... even if they are on vacation and not a paranoid rumor mill.

 

Your teen girl is in the Teen dance club and during the week has become friends with a young man her age. He asks her to come back to his stateroom with him so he can grab something and he doesn't want to go alone....

So teen girl checks her brain at the door and follows her friend to the stateroom. There she is grabbed, pulled in, doors locked and finds an adult man waiting for her, along with her new "friend". She is assaulted.

 

Would your daughter follow her friend back to the cabin? I hate to be honest but in that situation I think mine would and not think twice about it.

Luckily she has 2 older brothers who are EXTREMELY over protective of their baby sister but stuff still happens.

 

What would your daughter do in that situation while on vacation and having fun? Would she remember to use her brain?

[Cigar King]

Supervision. 14 is still very young!

 

I agree, this is the best way to keep kids safe.

[praline3001]

I agree, this is the best way to keep kids safe.

 

Again I totally agree but incidents happen in the teen only areas. I want my teens to be able to have fun in the teen areas instead of hanging with the old folks the entire week LOL A high energy dance club for teens only is a powerful draw.

 

Another thing is how your teen girl dresses. I never blame the victim's outfit on an assault. However there is a huge correlation that can't be ignored. Do you let your teen daughter wear those cute string bikinis on a cruise? I did it when I was a teen... many moons ago lol so why not my daughter? Let her have fun... right?

 

WRONG! Beaches, pools, stuff back home its fine. On a cruise with 5,000 total strangers many of them drinking heavily its not okay. Many teen girls don't know how to handle an unwanted creepy advance from a man... even if its a casual "brush up against" cop a feel. Teen girls+bikinis+drunks = trouble no matter how you look at it.

 

These things are not to scare or make your kid paranoid. 99% of teens go on a cruise and are just fine and dandy. I do think its important to go over these important details with them to be safe.

 

So this isn't a scare tactic ~ just ways to make sure our teens use their brains.

[akcruz]

Personally I think it all starts much soomer than when you are planning a trip. Parents need to teach their kids from an early age how to take care of themselves and be sensible human beings. Lessons learned in every day life are the ones that last, not the last minute lectures.

 

My DD is 21 and been cruising for almost 10 years. You need to set rules and be part of their day while on board. Now this does not mean they need to be with you all day but as the parent you need to know where they are, who they are with, and what they are doing. My DD is a mature, sensible adult now, yes she still has a lot to learn but overall, but again I feel that is because of her upbringing. My DS on the other hand is much more of a challenge, overall he is a good kid, but we have found we need to check on him and remind him of the ruled a bit more often.

 

Parents need to remember to still parent when on vacation!

 

Oh and nobody, other than staff, is allowed in the teen areas. While this can still be an issue, at least it is a bit better than a truly public area.

[praline3001]

Personally I think it all starts much soomer than when you are planning a trip. Parents need to teach their kids from an early age how to take care of themselves and be sensible human beings. Lessons learned in every day life are the ones that last, not the last minute lectures.

 

My DD is 21 and been cruising for almost 10 years. You need to set rules and be part of their day while on board. Now this does not mean they need to be with you all day but as the parent you need to know where they are, who they are with, and what they are doing. My DD is a mature, sensible adult now, yes she still has a lot to learn but overall, but again I feel that is because of her upbringing. My DS on the other hand is much more of a challenge, overall he is a good kid, but we have found we need to check on him and remind him of the ruled a bit more often.

 

Parents need to remember to still parent when on vacation!

 

Oh and nobody, other than staff, is allowed in the teen areas. While this can still be an issue, at least it is a bit better than a truly public area.

 

I agree 100% however if you haven't had those talks with your kids, better late then never.

I have one of those DS's myself who is 15 (sigh) yes, we have to supervise him a lot closer then our other 2 kids.

 

True no adults other then staff in the teen areas. However, in the incident I described above, the teen girl was lured out of the teen dance club area.

Also, staff isn't perfect. There have been many cases of 21 year old staff members involved with 16 year old girls on ships. Haven't you watched "Dirty Dancing"? HA HA

[jebuell]

Make sure your child understands that YOU (the parent or guardian) needs to know where they are at all time. And this goes both ways- make sure the child knows where you are. Then check in on them- make sure they are where they said they were going to be, doing what they said they were going to do.

 

Explain to them that they are on a ship, but bad things can and do happen. Just like anywhere else in this world, they need to be aware of their surroundings, aware of WHO is around them, and alert an trusted adult if anything seems off (like a creepy person following them, someone offering them alcohol, etc.).

 

Oh! And tell them to never, ever go into the crew area! This is over a decade ago now and I KNOW cruiselines have really been addressing this issue, but when my sis was 15 she was on a cruise when she and a friend she'd made in the teen area (also 15) were invited into the crew quarters by two guys who were supervising a late-night teen dance/party. She didn't want to go, but the friend did and her Dad had told her not to go anywhere alone, so along she went. Both girls ended up being drugged and raped. And when they reported it the cruiseline told them that since it happened in international waters there was nothing that could be done. So she has to live not only with the knowledge of what happened to her, but the possibility of justice was taken away. That's not something anyone, especially a young teenager, should have to live with! That same goes for another passenger's cabin!

 

It's just sad because almost everything bad that happens to anyone on a cruiseship is preventable.

 

And I know if I ever have a teenager that I take on a cruise I WILL be bringing walkie talkies along! And I will be that obnoxious parent that makes them check in on it every hour.

[akcruz]

I do also have a list of cruise rules we have used with our kids in the past but do not have access to them right now. When I do if nobody else has added them I will.

[jlajla]

My kids are younger, but here is what I will tell them when they are a little older:

 

(1) Don't leave a drink alone

(2) Don't go back to ANYONE's cabin but your own, and only alone to your own room

(3) Check in every 2 hours (or whatever interval you deem proper)

(4) Be careful who you give personal information (email, etc)

 

Infringements will lead to having to hang out with dear old mom instead of getting to play with friends. I would also put a limit on their seapass account.

 

Like I said, my kids are 9/6/4, so for me it will be... no balcony without a grownup, no climbing on the railing, no running in the pool area, being careful on the stairs. I have put the FEAR OF GOD in them about that climbing thing. I have told them they will have HUGE punishments if they break that one. lol.

 

Kids don't listen to lectures, but if they think that they are going to end up stuck in a chair next to you at bingo, they will listen. ;)

 

Have fun!

[praline3001]

Good rule...

 

Tell your teenager that if they are found in the crew areas they will be on cabin lock down. They will lose all freedoms. Explain there are a million video camera so you WILL find out.

 

 

The crew has tons of fun in the crew only areas. I was watching some youtube videos of their parties. LOL They are all college age kids and when they cut loose... they really cut loose. No place for a teenage girl.

[praline3001]

Like I said, my kids are 9/6/4, so for me it will be... no balcony without a grownup, no climbing on the railing, no running in the pool area, being careful on the stairs. I have put the FEAR OF GOD in them about that climbing thing.

 

Yeah I had the same fear of God talk with my husband :rolleyes: no climbing on the rails, no sex on the balcony (we have teens now!) Does that count? :D

 

 

I watched a 20/20 special on cruise safety. Here is a ring dinger of a number to scare those adventurous boys with...

 

in 2011 22 people fell over board on cruise ships. Out of those 22 only 2 survived and one of them was a special forces guy who swam for 16 hours before being rescued. Two others were found dead and the rest were never found.

[cb at sea]

If you've taught your kids correctly, you won't need to do anything special for a cruise, or any vacation.

 

Kids should not be totally afraid of "strangers"...they should be able to approach an appropriate adult for help, if needed! (I'm reminded of the child who was lost on a camping trip, who would NOT answer when the rescuers yelled his name...he was "afraid of strangers!"")...Bad parents for teaching him that...he nearly died.

 

You need to set rules for your kids, and be prepared to follow up if they disregard those rules...even at the expense of your good time.

 

A cruise is not inherently dangerous...common sense is the key!

[praline3001]

If you've taught your kids correctly, you won't need to do anything special for a cruise, or any vacation.

 

 

A cruise is not inherently dangerous...common sense is the key!

 

Kind of sort of... but not really. On cruise ships the alcohol is ever flowing. Many people go for the "booze cruise" aspect of cruising. You family may not be binge boozers but at least 1/2 the ship will have gotten AT LEAST tipsy once on the ship. For many they will be flat out drunk. LOL

 

This takes common sense out the window for those who over drink.

Does this mean your 5 year old daughter will get hit on, groped or something like that? I am sure not!

 

If your 16 year old daughter is in a bikini lounging on a chair near the bar area however the line starts getting a little fuzzy for the drunks....

Your daughter has a right to lay in the sun in a chair and not be bothered ... however we all know how well this works with drunks :rolleyes:

 

I know younger kids have their own set of concerns and care but nobody allows their 5 or 6 year old out of their sight. This is a TON harder when your kid is 16. Also ..for many.... 6 year olds have a lot more common sense then a teenager LOL

[jebuell]

If your 16 year old daughter is in a bikini lounging on a chair near the bar area however the line starts getting a little fuzzy for the drunks....

Your daughter has a right to lay in the sun in a chair and not be bothered ... however we all know how well this works with drunks :rolleyes:

 

Plus, you can't always tell a 15 year old from an 18 year old. Especially these days I swear kids are looking older and older! My old roommate had a 12 year old and a 19 year old daughter. I remember when I first met the 12 year old I thought she was the 18 year old! And I thought his 25 year old son was his 16 year old son (haha!). But, seriously, this 12 year old was full figured, looked older, and acted very mature so my brain had no issue making her 18 and I was sober! My single-male-25 year old roommate even started hitting on her until my roommate politely set him straight. :eek: But it's tough sometimes so, yeah, I think girls (and boys!) need to be taught to react and handle a situation like that. Because they make think the other person is just being flirtatious and fun while that other person's brain is going somewhere else entirely!

[praline3001]

Plus, you can't always tell a 15 year old from an 18 year old. Especially these days I swear kids are looking older and older! My old roommate had a 12 year old and a 19 year old daughter. I remember when I first met the 12 year old I thought she was the 18 year old! And I thought his 25 year old son was his 16 year old son (haha!). But, seriously, this 12 year old was full figured, looked older, and acted very mature so my brain had no issue making her 18 and I was sober! My single-male-25 year old roommate even started hitting on her until my roommate politely set him straight. :eek: But it's tough sometimes so, yeah, I think girls (and boys!) need to be taught to react and handle a situation like that. Because they make think the other person is just being flirtatious and fun while that other person's brain is going somewhere else entirely!

 

When my 15 year old son was 12, we went to an open house at his school. I walked around the entire time with my jaw hitting the ground. all of his female school mates ...girls I have known since they were in 1st grade~ grew up in a BIG way over the summer. I could not believe how mature some were. Scary stuff for a parent! On the way home he kept saying, "Mom, NOW DO YOU SEE WHY I CAN'T PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS?!"

 

So your right it can be hard to tell a 16 year old from a 21 year old.

 

Throw in the booze and it can turn into a situation a teenage (or 12 year old) is not ready to handle in a mature and responsible way.

[mnh]

My kids are younger, but here is what I will tell them when they are a little older:

 

(1) Don't leave a drink alone

(2) Don't go back to ANYONE's cabin but your own, and only alone to your own room

(3) Check in every 2 hours (or whatever interval you deem proper)

(4) Be careful who you give personal information (email, etc)

 

Infringements will lead to having to hang out with dear old mom instead of getting to play with friends. I would also put a limit on their seapass account.

 

Like I said, my kids are 9/6/4, so for me it will be... no balcony without a grownup, no climbing on the railing, no running in the pool area, being careful on the stairs. I have put the FEAR OF GOD in them about that climbing thing. I have told them they will have HUGE punishments if they break that one. lol.

 

Kids don't listen to lectures, but if they think that they are going to end up stuck in a chair next to you at bingo, they will listen. ;)

 

Have fun!

 

My 13 year old grandaughter has been cruising with me since she was 2.....so far she is up to 21 cruises. As she has gotten older it has gotten so much harder! Our rules include all of the above, and no excuse not to check in every 2 hours. If she calls and I am out of the cabin she must leave a message. I also keep a dry erase board in the cabin so we can leave notes of where we are and what we are doing.

 

She also knows not go anywhere with anyone, if a crew member or passenger tells her she is needed somewhere she is to go straight to the purser's desk not with the crew member or passenger!

[praline3001]

Sign in/sign out sheet is a vital tool! I learned this at Boy Scout summer camp several years back (hubby and I are leaders). The boys get into more trouble then they can handle if they do not use the sign out sheet.

 

My boys are 17 and 15 and they will have free run of the ship. I figure they are both in high school and the oldest is planning his JR prom for 3/30.

I can't exactly hold their hand all week or have them stay with me at all times LOL

However as a mom I do still worry when they don't check in at home on time ~ so I will still have that mama worry out to sea. I am using a notebook as its easier to pack but will have a sign out sheet for them and also for me and hubby. That way everyone knows where everyone is at during the day.

 

My daughter is 11 and will not have free run without an adult or her brother's escorting her. I might let her go to the kids area alone as we are staying on deck 14 .. the same deck as the kids' area but that's my limit on her and free run of the ship. lol

[dolphincrazy]

Well reading this makes me think I don't want mine to grow up!! They can stay At 6 and 8 :)

[praline3001]

Well reading this makes me think I don't want mine to grow up!! They can stay At 6 and 8 :)

 

Then they won't ever move out :D trust me when they become teenagers you will be ready for them to fly the coop :p

 

 

There is another news story just today about an employee of RC having sex with a 14 year old girl. :mad: He is now facing 15 year prison term (he plead guilty). Could this happen anywhere? Sure..

 

Its just important enough to bring to our teenager's attention that things do happen on cruise ships and places where alcohol is flowing.

http://www.abc2news.com/dpp/news/crime_checker/baltimore_city_crime/cruise-worker-pleads-guilty-to-sex-abuse

[dolphincrazy]

Oh yeah didn't think of that!!! Some days my 8 year old can move out!!! :D

 

Yep all about talking to them sensibly and hoping they remember!!

[barriecruiser]

We will be taking our kids on their first cruise next year. By then they will be 7, 5, 13 (almost 14, girl) and 16 (boy). My brother will be bringing his kids as well...7, 12(girl), 13(boy) and 15(boy).

 

I am nervous because I hope that they will make the right choices while on board. They will be told what the rules are and if they are not followed there will be punishments. We will also be setting up walkie talkies with the older ones and if they don't answer them, then they will have to hang out with us.:)

 

I don't want to ruin their vacation in any way, but if they show me respect, I will show them respect!