Pam and Rex Our First Retirement Cruise 10-20-12 thru 10-31-12

[pamwinn]

Sea Day November 6, 2012

Rex and I took care of our responsibilities as American citizen’s several months ago…Absentee ballots…the only way to avoid the lines. At that time, I was still vacillating over booking this repo cruise. It’s funny how things turn out.

I’ve been noticing how cute Rex is looking lately. He noticed me noticing this morning and did the puff up he man Hercules thing. That is guaranteed to get a laugh from me.

We decided to do a little people watching and headed out to the pools looking for celebrities. A good giggle is always welcome and hairy men in bikinis will take care of that. Rex was probably looking for something else but he kept that to himself. John Wayne was at the movies under the stars pool. He’s not looking real good but at least he is out and about. He is still wearing that same cowboy hat. I spotted four men in black bikinis. I am a lot better male bikini spotter than Rex is. I can spot them instantaneously no matter how large the crowd. I don’t understand these men…or their wives for that matter. Once they put it on, someone has to let them out!

Another oddly fascinating dress style I noticed was men in crops. I was minding my own business next to the international café when I spotted 2 very cute pairs of crops. One pair was black and the other was a dusty red. Both had interesting detail and had they been worn by females I might have inquired about them. They were really cute and I’d like the dusty red pair and the black ones in a lighter color. I tend to attach a nationality when I see unusual dress and for some reason I choose Italian. Now please understand I have no idea how Italian men dress or how to pick them out in a crowd. That is pretty much true across the board…well I do know how New York and New Jersey guys who have relocated to Georgia and Florida dress…so does every other southerner. Do they have their black sock garters shipped south?

I have been taking Tylenol for about a week trying to fight a lurking headache so my stomach feels queasy. I could not find anything sufficiently bland around the ship so we went back to the cabin and ordered turkey sandwiches. That was just what I needed to get me out to the pool deck party. I know that Rex and I probably look like American slobs in our cargo pants and t-shirts to all the sophisticated and stylish men in capri’s and women in animal print chiffon dresses that are longer in the front than the back. Rex thinks they have them on backwards. Heeeyyyyyy Macarannaaah! We had a good time and then retired to our cabin to watch election results.

I secretly hoped for another technical malfunction alarm but it did not happen.

[sminfiddle]

Is there another term for these crops? Wikipedia is not helping, none of their definitions is an item of clothing.

Google Images for "CROPS" shows me many fields of green! :D

 

They come in pairs, so it is something below the waist like breeches or shoes - but now you have me very curious! Usually I can find my own answers but this one has me scratching my head...

 

Please pardon my silly question and keep up the very entertaining writing!

 

Rick

[sminfiddle]

Never mind! I search "Crop Pants" or "Crop Pants Seahorse" and it is all clear now.

 

(Except how it is a menswear item :rolleyes: )

 

Do carry on

 

Rick

[pamwinn]

It’s Not Cold in Aruba November 7, 2012

The predicted high was 82 and I cannot believe that I have become such a wuss because it felt about 182. We took our time getting off the ship and finally hit the gangway around 10:30 AM. Although we could see downtown Oranjestad from our balcony, it was one of those you-can’t-get-there-from-here kind of places because of all the circuitously sectioned-off security barriers and the moat. It could be a two-second trip with a ship-to-city zip line. Even though I had slathered on enough sunblock for 4 people, I knew better than to start walking in all that sunshine. We paid a cab driver $8.00 to take us around the 500 yard maze to the town center. I was running low on one of my medications and we spotted a pharmacy, stopped in, and got a one-month refill…seventy-eight cents…no insurance required.

 

After walking about 50 feet we decided it was too hot to do anything at all…except step into the nice little open-sided refreshment stand right in front of us and drink ice-cold locally produced Balashi beer …and that is how we spent our day in Aruba. We had a nice view, cool breezes, and cold brews. I realize a lot of people do high-powered shopping in these ports but if I really intended to buy myself a Rolex, I wouldn’t shop for it in a cruise port, even in a sophisticated place like Aruba. Anyway, ladies’ Rolex watches are just not attractive in my opinion. I saw a lot of people amusingly dressed so I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I noticed that the people from the Royal Caribbean ship dressed funnier than the people from the Princess ship. I don’t know what that means. The men from Aruba pull their pants up really high…basically to the armpits, which of course is better than pants on the ground.

 

I need to include a disclaimer should anyone take offense at anything they read here. I have laughed at humanity and made up names for people and things all my life. For example, my dogs are named Popi, Pipi, and Bitzi. I almost always call them Buttnest, Stinkdog, and Beast. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love them. It’s the only way I can get them to come. This is all for entertainment and I don’t mean anything negative about anything I award a fake name to or make jest of…well…except for Elvira, and Crazy One (ex-coworker boutards).

 

So now you know that I like it when men wear capris and sheer nylon bikini bathing suits and I don’t care if they are 20 or 80 years old. I even like the backward chiffon dresses and people who are too drunk to speak as long as they are pleasant about the slurrage.

All the ice-cold beer drinking cooled me down sufficiently and I glanced over at the ship and said, “we can walk back.” Big things are farther away than they appear…especially when factoring in sweltering heat.

 

There was an older couple stagger-walking in front of us and I couldn’t get around them because the direction of the stagger was random. This made walking extra slow and very tiring. I actually considered tripping the man so I could lie down on him and rest.

 

Back on the ship we decided to go to the lido pool area to see who was naked. I really don’t like it when the men in the black nylon bikinis bend over but everything else is pretty much okay. A lady came and stood about 3 feet from the end of our table right in front of Rex and started stripping. Rex was looking towards the pool so I gave him the under the table foot kick because I couldn’t believe what was happening. She got completely naked, pulling the wet bathing suit out of those places it was stuck to…squatting, flapping, kicking one foot and another…can you see it now? I had more fun watching Rex than watching the weird lady. She put on another bathing suit. Why would she do that? Why did she pick our table? These are the mysteries of the universe. She did not appear demented or anything. I have read that Americans are the prudes of the world…but still. I don’t understand it. However, there is always a positive and these naked people have helped my self-concept a little. I now know that I am not the most physically unattractive person in the universe. I suppose it’s good to know that. It’s also good to know that what we saw of Aruba is stunningly beautiful and will warrant another visit…want to come along?

[sallybrown2012]

Thanks again for your continued posts - you crack me up!

[RNGALNG]

I've been to Aruba twice and would love to go again! We took the basic tour that showed the highlights of the island on our first trip there. It included a boat ride along the shore to see all the hotels that are there. I really liked one of them and we both agreed that it would be fun to come back and spend a week there at that hotel. Couldn't see a sign so, I used my handy dandy point and shoot with a 40X zoom to see if I could get a name. There was a tower in front of it so I too aim, with the boat bobbing in the waters. I took about 15 shots (Thank goodness for the cards instead of film!) and then looked to see what I had shot. When I have it on the screen, I can then enlarge it and zoom in more. So, what do I get on the tower sign??? T.G.I. FRIDAYS!!!!!

 

On our second visit, we just walked along the area where you can buy the local crafts. We found lots of goodies to take home as our treasures to give to family and friends. I asked in a couple of shops if they knew what the name of the place was. They told me and when we got home I looked it up. It is an all inclusive place and the price for a week there is about two times what a basic week cruise would cost us! Back to happy cruising!!

 

Maybe some day. . .

 

So enjoying your live reports and i DO love your humor! DH has even enjoyed me reading some of your comments.

 

Enjoy your last couple of days. . .

[MustangGT]

Pam - I'm enjoying your writing! We might be related - I also assign nicknames to people! In our neighborhood, we have "Fast Walker Man", "Car Washing Man" etc. It's all in fun:D

[mollyanne]

I, too, think that walk from the ship into town is ridiculous! Thought I would die from the heat last October!

[pamwinn]

Sea Day November 8, 2012

 

We made the decision to do nothing. Sometimes, nothing is exactly what you need. That’s not to say that we didn’t use up a bit more of the Demitri’s Bloody Mary seasoning but it is obvious that we are not going to be able to polish off the Vodka. I hope our steward drinks it or can share it with a friend because it is a rather large unopened bottle.

We went to the fire sale in the dining room and people were buying stuff like crazy and there were a couple of small souvenir items that I wouldn’t have minded, like insulated coffee mugs we could put in our camper, but we are both haters of lines…and the single check-out line was looonnnnnng so we left without making a purchase. We spent the dogs’ allowance for Aunt Leslie in Aruba. We don’t give them a very large allowance but all three saved for a year. They spend most of their money on me, Rex, and Aunt Leslie. They do ask for steak and Cheetos from time to time but we always say, “they were out” and that seems to satisfy them. Dogs don’t have a concept of fibbing. They believe everything is the truth. That is part of their beauty. They did not eat from the Tree of Knowledge.

 

The weather was spectacular today, warm but not hot. We went naked people watching (our new hobby). We looked for things to eat but we really both just want some homemade sick soup. After twenty days on a cruise ship, bland and simple is what we are looking forward to. We plan to stop by the grocery store on the way home from the airport to purchase sick soup ingredients for Sunday night…maybe a bag of baby carrots for the dork hounds.

 

We try to stay in dark corners during the formal evening so as not to put a damper on the atmosphere of the evening for others. I brought three “formal” outfits for the five formal nights and made my fifth and final decision not to wear one of them. I don’t know why we keep bringing those clothes. It takes a lot of time out of the evening just preparing to leave the cabin and neither of us consider the prize is worth the price. Who wants to come back from naked people watching just to shower, wash and style hair, put on excruciatingly uncomfortable under garments, makeup your face, just for some Caribbean lobster? Apparently, many others feel that way as well. It has been a long time since I saw a couple that were really dressed formally anyway. I still see men in tuxedos but their wives are not dressed in formal gowns…not even close. So if you are new to cruising and worried about formal attire, stop worrying. Almost anything goes these days and the number of non-compliants is growing and hopefully the number of complaints is going.

 

Rex says that next week can be birthday week! Yipee! I love birthday week. It would have been this week obviously, but this unplanned cruise segment interfered. That means he will do all the unpacking! He also wants to cruise on a freighter. We did a lot of research on that once and I know we would enjoy it. I am going to let him choose but I will do some piracy research to make sure we don’t end up walking the plank somewhere. I prefer not to be forced into a situation where I have to kill others on my vacation. Arrrrgh.

 

This just in from Aunt Leslie:

 

“When do you come back to land to fly home? The girls want to make sure they have their blog ready for you. We had to start over on the blog because Aunt Leslie set the writing tablet down on the floor of the deck - had to sit on the floor so all 3 could get in my lap. Well, when I got up to get the treats, someone mistook the writing tablet for newspaper... I promised I would not tell who did it. We have been working hard the past two evenings trying to recreate everything. :)”

 

The dogs are sort of paper-trained although I don’t think I would recommend doing that. I am sure that it was Popi who used Aunt Leslie’s blog note pad! I can still remember training her. I did not understand how food-driven minpins are at the time. She must have been all of two pounds and eight weeks old. It only took one time to teach her to use the paper with a food-reward. She immediately began to run over to the newspaper, twist her little head around on that pencil neck and glare at me, squeeze out a drop, and immediately start bouncing…boing, boing, boing. Here is your treat. She won my heart in that instant. Good lord, I miss my dogs. Anyway, when Aunt Leslie got up to get the treats, it does not surprise me that Popi (my precious Buttnest) ran over and squatted on the note pad. Yep, she’s the guilty one…my sweet little baby dog.

 

We are making plans for tomorrow, our last day at sea. We have decided to do…nothing.

[pamwinn]

The Final Cruise Day at Sea November 9, 2012

 

Question of the Day:

 

Why do men get so defensive when their wives ask them, “is that what you are going to wear?”

 

List of things to do tomorrow:

 

 

• Rent Car
  
• Upgrade Air to Business Class
  
• Print Boarding Passes
  
• Find Fed-ex to ship stuff home
  
• Have a lot of fun
  

 

List of things to do today:

 

 

• Pack
  
• Try to assimilate the remaining 2 gallons of adult beverage
  
• Have a lot of fun
  

 

We combined the packing and finishing off all the little bottles of complementary beverage. It made the packing much easier. This actually included parts of the have a lot of fun category. We packed two suitcases full of winter stuff, showered, dressed, enjoyed a Mloody Bary, and headed for our new favorite activity…pool people watching. We are considering a Rhine Riverboat cruise after our freighter cruise.

 

I know many people cruise for the shows and other onboard activities, but we do not ever seem to have the time for all that extra stuff. I always plan to do more of that and yet it never seems to happen. We knew that this being the last day would make it the best day for naked people watching as everyone would be trying to squeeze the most out of the last day. We do hope to make it to the Princess Pop Star Show but it’s only noon and we haven’t made it out of the cabin yet.

 

Our day was graced with flawless weather and amazing scenes at the pool. I got a fantastic shot of Sling-Crotch Man. I need to compile today’s candid pool photos into a video and put it on You-Tube…Cousins of People of Walmart.

We had a great time for several hours at the pool. We had our final refreshment at Crooners. I would never remotely consider drinking a martini anywhere other than on a cruise. I don’t know why I like them so much when cruising and think they taste like drinking listerine from a dirty ashtray any other time. That’s another great mystery of the universe. We had our final piece of pizza until our next cruise. We couldn’t handle the thought of more rich food so decided to return to our cabin to finish packing and order a turkey sandwich from room service.

Apparently the packing and refreshments earlier in the day made us think we were more than half packed but as it turned out, we were more than half unpacked. Somehow over the past three weeks our stuff grew. How does your stuff grow when you only purchase one souvenir? It must become infused with sea salt. That’s all I can figure. This is why we always have to stay a night in the debarkation city. We have to find a Fed-Ex and ship our salt laden clothing home.

Rex read the disembarkation group paper and all he told me was the color of the tags and the time. It was a little earlier than I had hoped for since we planned on checking in to a hotel and they don’t like it when you arrive before the sun rises but whatever. So when it came time to put the tags on the bags I looked at the schedule sheet...Princess Transfers to Fort Lauderdale Airport…nope, that would not be us. I filled out that disembarkation preference form and against my better judgment I put it in my mailbox (like it said we could) instead of hand delivering it to passenger services. It apparently went to the dryer sock place. I felt bad calling passenger services even for such a simple thing because the last I saw they were being swarmed. Over the phone I could hear cackling, screaming, and general belligerence. It sounded horrible.

We have decided that the best benefit of elite status is not the free internet minutes, the free laundry service, shoe shining, tender priority, or any of those things like that. It’s priority service at passenger services. That is worth its weight in gold and I even got over the dirty looks from people. They were all angry already anyway.