Awkward Solo Moments

[LuvBNatC]

Cruising led me to take up ballroom dancing and I took lessons for 7 years. Ultimately gave it up because I never found a regular partner and got sick of going to dances and holding the wall up with all the other partnerless women.

 

Glad to hear there are a few men willing to get out there and dance. A ship's dance instructor once said, "I don't know why any man wouldn't learn to dance. He could have his pick of any woman on any ship."

 

Look around any dance floor and you'll see many women with wistful expressions tapping their toes while the guy with them pretends he isn't hearing any music. :)

 

For me, the way to find partners is to take the group lessons. Yes, I'm usually one of the stray women, so I offer to do the man's part with another woman. That gets me noticed, and any single guys know I can dance and won't make them look bad on the floor if they ask me.

 

And usually, the instructor will ask me for a few dances if he's out and about. Works like a charm every time! :D

[42CruiseCrazy]

"Glad to hear there are a few men willing to get out there and dance. A ship's dance instructor once said, "I don't know why any man wouldn't learn to dance. He could have his pick of any woman on any ship."

 

 

 

"Look around any dance floor and you'll see many women with wistful expressions tapping their toes while the guy with them pretends he isn't hearing any music. :). "

 

None of those wistful women were ever with me! I have found that most partnerless women who like to dance will do it with another woman which makes it difficult for a man to ask her. Effectively leaving the solo men out to just stand by and watch (with a wistful expression)

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Edited October 19, 2014 by 42CruiseCrazy
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[cruiseelady]

"Glad to hear there are a few men willing to get out there and dance. A ship's dance instructor once said, "I don't know why any man wouldn't learn to dance. He could have his pick of any woman on any ship."

 

 

 

"Look around any dance floor and you'll see many women with wistful expressions tapping their toes while the guy with them pretends he isn't hearing any music. :). "

 

None of those wistful women were ever with me! I have found that most partnerless women who like to dance will do it with another woman which makes it difficult for a man to ask her. Effectively leaving the solo men out to just stand by and watch (with a wistful expression)

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You can cut in and say "may I have this dance"?

[LuvBNatC]

"

None of those wistful women were ever with me! I have found that most partnerless women who like to dance will do it with another woman which makes it difficult for a man to ask her. Effectively leaving the solo men out to just stand by and watch (with a wistful expression)

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Count yourself in the minority. Women only dance with other women when they can't find a man to dance with. It isn't a preference (unless that happens to be their preference ;) ).

 

Even when I took ballroom lessons and went to the weekly "practice" dances, the women lining the walls would complain about all the guys standing around talking football through lots of good songs.

 

It's probably fear of rejection, or fear that some woman they don't know will take the invite wrong and glom on to them. Or they'll ask someone with 2 left feet and have to push her around the floor like a shopping cart. Lots of reasons.

 

I have asked men to dance, if I've seen them dancing with other women and they don't seem to be wearing a leash. They always say yes!

 

Women who want to dance and know how to do it will usually try to sit near the floor and they'll pay attention to the music and people dancing. AND they will be wearing shoes they can dance in, not sneaks or flip-flops. Ask one of them, and you'll probably get a dance.

 

Women sitting around looking dejected, far back from the floor, or having conversations with girlfriends, more iffy proposition.

[42CruiseCrazy]

You can cut in and say "may I have this dance"?

 

 

I've thought of doing that, Cruiselady, but I'm concerned that if I choose one of the ladies, I may make the other feel rejected or that both women might think "cutting in" is rude.

 

 

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[cruiseelady]

I've thought of doing that, Cruiselady, but I'm concerned that if I choose one of the ladies, I may make the other feel rejected or that both women might think "cutting in" is rude.

 

 

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How about saying "would either of you ladies like to dance"? Don't worry about cutting in, its not rude, as long as you don't say "you, dance with me now" and drag her to the dance floor lol

[cruiseelady]

Count yourself in the minority. Women only dance with other women when they can't find a man to dance with. It isn't a preference (unless that happens to be their preference ;) ).

 

Even when I took ballroom lessons and went to the weekly "practice" dances, the women lining the walls would complain about all the guys standing around talking football through lots of good songs.

 

It's probably fear of rejection, or fear that some woman they don't know will take the invite wrong and glom on to them. Or they'll ask someone with 2 left feet and have to push her around the floor like a shopping cart. Lots of reasons.

 

I have asked men to dance, if I've seen them dancing with other women and they don't seem to be wearing a leash. They always say yes!

 

Women who want to dance and know how to do it will usually try to sit near the floor and they'll pay attention to the music and people dancing. AND they will be wearing shoes they can dance in, not sneaks or flip-flops. Ask one of them, and you'll probably get a dance.

 

Women sitting around looking dejected, far back from the floor, or having conversations with girlfriends, more iffy proposition.

 

You are absolutely right, I have danced with other woman when there was no man to dance with. But I only dance regular dances and Merengue with a woman, Salsa is a different story, most woman cant lead, I know I cant.

[LandlockedCruiser01]

I've thought of doing that, Cruiselady, but I'm concerned that if I choose one of the ladies, I may make the other feel rejected or that both women might think "cutting in" is rude.

That shouldn't be for you to worry about. Like I said earlier, most mainstream cruisers don't really practice dance etiquette anyway. Find a way to rationalize it, and ask the woman that appeals to you more, be it due to looks, dance skills, or friendliness. Better yet, find another solo dude to be your wingman, and both of you approach the two women dancing together, mid-song, if you have to. Then all four people get to dance; win-win-win-win!

 

During one of my bolder moments, I've grabbed both women by the hand, and danced what was supposed to be salsa. Can't say it looked perfect, since a cross-body lead is impossible with three people (although basic steps looked OK), but then again, no one in the line of sight thought less of me for doing that. ;)

Edited October 20, 2014 by LandlockedCruiser01

[42CruiseCrazy]

"That shouldn't be for you to worry about. Like I said earlier, most mainstream cruisers don't really practice dance etiquette anyway. Find a way to rationalize it, and ask the woman that appeals to you more, be it due to looks, dance skills, or friendliness. Better yet, find another solo dude to be your wingman, and both of you approach the two women dancing together, mid-song, if you have to. Then all four people get to dance; win-win-win-win!!!"

 

That is a great idea ! I will look to meet and hope to find a "wingman" for my next cruise in December.

 

 

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[marcmarc2]

After the song is over, approach the two ladies dancing (or leaving the floor) and say, "Now that you're both done dancing with each other, would each of you care to dance with me?"

 

Or, I suppose you could look around the perimeter one more time to see if there's some mid-40's solo hoping for a dance. *waves arms* :)

 

I just remembered that I did get bold and asked a guy to dance on that Princess cruise. And in keeping with this thread, it was an awkward moment, as neither of us were particularly adept at dancing, but it was fine. On Country Night, just after all the shenanigans were over and the band started up with a general slow dance, I was already on stage (I won the shenanigans), I walked up to a cute, young, blond member of the entertainment staff helping out, did the "would you like to dance" wiggly finger, and we had a little dance. Sometimes, I surprise myself.

[FangedRose]

Definitely ease of dress is crucial! If it was a zipper, a tip I learned was to use a wire coat hanger (unwound if need be) to hook in and zip it up.

 

I tried that only to discover that none of the zips had holes to hook the hanger through!

[styxfire]

Way to stand up for the male gender. ;)

I've been at tables with all women and I too survived and learned a pointer or two about shopping.

Thoth, re: solo traveler, no friends can pay their own way, MDR seating with non-English speakers, etc. All those situations been there done that. Love your optimism. No matter how you skin it, we're still all out on the HUGE ocean where nobody would be without the aid of a magnificent vessel. It's a great time handed to us.

[rich60]

But the thing is I see mostly couples dancing, hardly any singles or solos are there, and if there are solo people, they definitely didn't ask me to dance. And that is most annoying and frustrating thing for me personally when I cruise solo. Nothing else really bothers me or makes me feel awkward about solo cruising

 

 

 

 

I also enjoy dancing even though I am no Fred Astaire. If a lady goes to the nightclub chances are that she would like to dance. So all one has to do is ask. I have found that most women, single or attached, will say yes. However it is incumbent on the man to be properly dressed, well mannered and gracious. After dancing escort the lady back to her seat and offer your thanks and return to your own seat. Do this a few more times and it will become apparent that you also came to dance. At this time you might find that the ladies will ask you to dance.

The problem is most single men are too self conscious to do this and will sit out the evening at the bar alone. Again you do not have to be Fred Astaire dance, just feel the rhythm of the music and dance. All you need is some very basic knowledge of the steps. If you can count to two - Two Step, three - Salsa or Bolero, four - Waltz and five Tango. Forget the fancy moves as seen on DWTS and enjoy yourself. If you feel you have made a misstep apologize laugh about it and continue on. Also it's very important, while dancing, to please converse with your partner.

“Dance like no one is watching”

From the movie “Scent of a Woman” :

Q: Do you Tango?

A: No.

Q: Would you care to learn?

And finally from the above: “If you get tangled in the Tango - just Tango out of it!”

Richard

[LuvBNatC]

I also enjoy dancing even though I am no Fred Astaire. If a lady goes to the nightclub chances are that she would like to dance. So all one has to do is ask. I have found that most women, single or attached, will say yes. However it is incumbent on the man to be properly dressed, well mannered and gracious. After dancing escort the lady back to her seat and offer your thanks and return to your own seat. Do this a few more times and it will become apparent that you also came to dance. At this time you might find that the ladies will ask you to dance.

 

Rich60, you have stated the winning formula with 100% precision. :D

 

Why aren't there more men like you on my cruises?

[rich60]

Karen,

 

 

I am duly flattered.

 

 

But then again I am just a old soldier who still conforms to the past proprieties. Therefor, I feel it is my obligation to make my own introductions. Having spent 34 years in the military both etiquette and rejection are not a stranger to me.

 

 

Thank you for your kind words,

 

 

Richard

[42CruiseCrazy]

I always try to escort the lady back to her seat after the dance. Sometimes when the lady is a "girl" (young woman, not a child) she is not familiar with the practice and wonders off the dance floor on her own. Now THAT'S an Awkward Moment.

 

 

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[styxfire]

I postulate that cruiselines could make more revenue from the dance bars if they would offer dance lessons during the day. I'd love to spend all night dancing, but I don't know how, and the few little linedance sessions that RCCL does on the deck aren't for partner-dancing.

 

If more people were confident in their dancing ability, more would go to the bars, and they'd stay longer, and buy more drinks.

[Castlerigg]

I also enjoy dancing even though I am no Fred Astaire. If a lady goes to the nightclub chances are that she would like to dance. So all one has to do is ask.

The problem is most single men are too self conscious to do this and will sit out the evening at the bar alone. Again you do not have to be Fred Astaire dance, just feel the rhythm of the music and dance. All you need is some very basic knowledge of the steps. If you can count to two - Two Step, three - Salsa or Bolero, four - Waltz and five Tango. Forget the fancy moves as seen on DWTS and enjoy yourself. If you feel you have made a misstep apologize laugh about it and continue on. Also it's very important, while dancing, to please converse with your partner.

 

Richard

 

Well, said, Richard! "...just feel the rhythm of the music and dance...." I would love to be able to dance with a partner again and certainly don't require any fancy footwork. Nor to I want a partner who expects me to execute all the ballroom dance steps to perfection. People used to watch and compliment my late husband and I on our dancing, but we had no formal training. All we did was move to the music, and our enjoyment was visible! I think there are many women, like me, who would looooove to be asked to dance.

 

Linda

[marcmarc2]

Styxfire, I couldn't agree with you more!

[April7901]

I have found that I strongly prefer to travel (not just cruise) solo. When I travel, I usually have a very specific agenda or set of activities in mind, and I get frustrated with others who can't, or won't, keep up. I've found that I don't "vacation" well - If I'm visiting somewhere, I want to make the most of it. In fact, I've all but ruled out any future Caribbean cruises - I can't imagine anything more boring than sitting on a beach all day!

 

I also tend to keep to myself, intentionally. I'm definitely an introvert, but I'm capable of interacting and conversing with just about anyone. I just typically prefer not to. I enjoy being on my own, and having the down time is very relaxing for me.

 

That said, my last cruise was on the NCL Epic to the Eastern Caribbean. At the very first day's lunch, in the MDR, I was seated next to a couple who was quite pleasant. As it happened, they were visiting their daughter's family on board - their son-in-law was one of the three primary Blue Men in the Blue Man Group!

 

Near the end of our meal, their daughter, grandchild, and son-in-law joined them, and I was able to chat for a few minutes. Later in the week, I attended an "Ask the Blue Men" session, and he remembered me and chatted a bit after the Q&A.

 

It killed a little of the BMG mystique, but still a lot of fun to meet someone whose work I admire so much. I was glad that I'd opened up a bit during that first day :)

[waterkitkat]

Though my cruise life has not been extensive, I have solo cruised on 4 out of the 5 of my trips. And to be honest, I prefer cruising solo than with a companion. There is no fighting on which excursion to take or problems with me spending my evenings in the casino instead of going to a show or club. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE joining others for dinner and learning all about everyone’s adventures and where they are from. I find the best conversations with strangers, never a problem discussing something new with someone you’ve never met.

 

I also enjoying hanging out at the pool\beach by myself engrossed in my most recent science fiction novel. No awkward moments getting into the hot tub, I enjoy them like everyone else and again find the conversations to be stimulating. And if someone doesn’t enjoy my company in the hot tub and they leave, I look at it as an excellent opportunity for someone new to meet.

 

I don’t seem to be bother when eating at the buffets alone. I normally have a book in my hands and most people will pass by unless of course you happen to be seated at a larger table and someone asks to join because of lack of seating.

 

I spend the majority of my nights in the casino playing poker. It never fails that the first night I introduce myself to the table and end up spending the rest of the cruise meeting up at the same time with the same people at one of the pokers tables.

Cruising solo gives you the perfect part of both worlds. You can enjoy what you want to do when you want to do it and not worry about anyone else. And when I’m in the mood for company I can always find an entertaining evening of dinner conversation in the main restaurant.

 

I would say the only drawback that I could find is the specialty restaurants. They are catered to couples so sitting by your self can be a little daunting. But if you are comfortable in your our skin and just want to enjoy a fine steak, then I say what the hell, do it! I normally go to one specialty restaurant a cruise. Not because I don’t like being alone, but because I don’t like paying extra for food when I’ve paid for a cruise that should include it. Call me cheap, I don’t mind. It keeps me traveling everyone year someplace amazing. Who can complain :o)

[JoePatNYCT]

Thanks to all who participated in the discussion about dancing. It was quite interesting to read the thoughts of both men and women.

 

I think I need to brush up on a few steps before my next solo cruise!

[crusinpsychRN]

Just back from another solo trip on the newly renovated Pride Nov. 16 cruise...with disastrous dinner seating. The first night I had late seating and was seated at a table with 3 other single ladies and a very older couple doing a back to back. During introductions, one lady said she was from Columbia and the man from the couple asked her how many uzi's she'd brought! Everyone gaped at him, including his wife. This man continued to berate or turn off everyone at the table.

 

He complained he paid $3000 for a back to back and had talked to a lady who had a free trip and how unfair that was and he was going to demand an explanation and some sort of remuneration.

 

The next night, I was the only one who showed. The maitre 'd came over and told me everyone had asked for new tables. Said he couldn't repeat the horrible things the man had said to him about all of us!!

 

I ended up with early seating. I missed a night due to the excursion not coming back until 30 minutes into dinner. When I made it the next night, which was elegant night, I was seated with 3 couples, all friends in their 80's. None seemed to have brought shampoo or a razor for beard trimming...however they were very nice. They explained they were reenactors, so I thought Civil War but they explained 1830's. One was a shoe maker, one a barrel maker, one said he was the town drunk.

 

I've had such strange luck in dining companions with both early and late dining. Once I didn Your Time Dining and it too was odd, sometimes being seated alone and sometimes with others.

 

For the next trip in March I've once again signed up for YTD, hoping I can get a table alone and enjoy a book, I'm getting PTSD from this!!

[cruiseelady]

Just back from another solo trip on the newly renovated Pride Nov. 16 cruise...with disastrous dinner seating. The first night I had late seating and was seated at a table with 3 other single ladies and a very older couple doing a back to back. During introductions, one lady said she was from Columbia and the man from the couple asked her how many uzi's she'd brought! Everyone gaped at him, including his wife. This man continued to berate or turn off everyone at the table.

 

He complained he paid $3000 for a back to back and had talked to a lady who had a free trip and how unfair that was and he was going to demand an explanation and some sort of remuneration.

 

The next night, I was the only one who showed. The maitre 'd came over and told me everyone had asked for new tables. Said he couldn't repeat the horrible things the man had said to him about all of us!!

 

I ended up with early seating. I missed a night due to the excursion not coming back until 30 minutes into dinner. When I made it the next night, which was elegant night, I was seated with 3 couples, all friends in their 80's. None seemed to have brought shampoo or a razor for beard trimming...however they were very nice. They explained they were reenactors, so I thought Civil War but they explained 1830's. One was a shoe maker, one a barrel maker, one said he was the town drunk.

 

I've had such strange luck in dining companions with both early and late dining. Once I didn Your Time Dining and it too was odd, sometimes being seated alone and sometimes with others.

 

For the next trip in March I've once again signed up for YTD, hoping I can get a table alone and enjoy a book, I'm getting PTSD from this!!

 

That sucks, I am sorry you had an unpleasant diner experience. That is why I always ask for a table for one(your time dinning.)

[Thoth]

Just back from another solo trip on the newly renovated Pride Nov. 16 cruise...with disastrous dinner seating. The first night I had late seating and was seated at a table with 3 other single ladies and a very older couple doing a back to back. During introductions, one lady said she was from Columbia and the man from the couple asked her how many uzi's she'd brought! Everyone gaped at him, including his wife. This man continued to berate or turn off everyone at the table.

 

He complained he paid $3000 for a back to back and had talked to a lady who had a free trip and how unfair that was and he was going to demand an explanation and some sort of remuneration.

 

The next night, I was the only one who showed. The maitre 'd came over and told me everyone had asked for new tables. Said he couldn't repeat the horrible things the man had said to him about all of us!!

 

I ended up with early seating. I missed a night due to the excursion not coming back until 30 minutes into dinner. When I made it the next night, which was elegant night, I was seated with 3 couples, all friends in their 80's. None seemed to have brought shampoo or a razor for beard trimming...however they were very nice. They explained they were reenactors, so I thought Civil War but they explained 1830's. One was a shoe maker, one a barrel maker, one said he was the town drunk.

 

I've had such strange luck in dining companions with both early and late dining. Once I didn Your Time Dining and it too was odd, sometimes being seated alone and sometimes with others.

 

For the next trip in March I've once again signed up for YTD, hoping I can get a table alone and enjoy a book, I'm getting PTSD from this!!

Sorry about the misanthrope showing up, but those reenactors sounded interesting. Since I love history I would have likely enjoyed conversing with them. I've met some of the most fascinating people on cruise ships. Of course I've had my bad eggs at dinner as well, but most were great. In September I was very fortunate to have fun people for dinner company.

Edited December 2, 2014 by Thoth