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JW and Jerome's Excellent Adventure on the Celebrity REFLECTION!

cruiseguys2009

By cruiseguys2009,
in Celebrity Cruises

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cruiseguys2009

cruiseguys2009

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Jerome and I arrived at the Murano desk promptly at 8:30 PM and were greeted, most professionally, and whisked to our table. Which was one of the special tables on the Quilted Rotunda. That’s what I call the round furniture piece in the center of the restaurant.

 

We were greeted table side by a multitude of servers, with water, bread, a wine list, a Sommelier, many other hello’s and then, like Moses Parting the Red Sea, our Head Waiter appeared. He introduced himself as Ram… “Hello Ram!” (My little Random Access Memory!) He is gorgeous. But so very Professional and I had my Grown up Pants on tonight so I behaved!

 

Jerome and I were celebrating our Anniversary tonight as well, so we chose as entrees, the Warm Water Lobster Tail and The Chateaubriand for Two. We also chose several glasses of wine, and, as we were on the 1,2,3, Drunk package, the Sommelier was most helpful in keeping our glasses full. And by the way, you have not lived until you have red wine out of these brilliant, astonishing crystal goblets they have in Murano, exclusively, that take up your whole face when you delve into a sip of phenomenal Red Zinfandel or Pino Noir.

 

Oh my gosh, you would have thought that a Ballet had started. Ram had five tables, each in a different level of service at the time were seated. All one needs is a Ballet Score, Violins and and Orchestra, and Voila, as they say in Murano, he was tip toe-ing from table to table, so gracefully and beautifully. From the presentation of Hor d’ourves, to Appetizers to preparing table side our succulent entrees, Ram provided us a Masterful Performance. A performance that is equal to that of something from New York or Milan or Barcelona. Ram made our night, along with our dinner being extraordinary. So much so,, that in all the world where Jerome and I have eaten, our Dinner in Murano ranks in the TOP FIVE, WORLD WIDE. And knocked Le Bernadine in Manhattan to number six. That’s how good it really was.

 

Ram made the experience completely. I highly recommend that you request Ram to exhibit his talents for you. Ttalents from an industry that is fast becoming irrelevant and perhaps obsolete. What an amazing and passionate young man. What skill and determination. Such admiration and attention to a Guest’s satisfaction. Not only to mine, but I watched intently as he pleased every Guest in his station, as part of his Ballet. Request Ram! You will see what I am talking about. Enjoy!

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Anubi

Anubi

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OMG!!!! JW!!! Finally, I understand your TINKLE references on our roll call. You ought to have a t-shirt made...TINKLE WITH JW!!!! :D:D:D I can't wait to sail with you next year. :) Can't wait for your next installment.

Re: The Hat Lady...definitely a picture, I think we might have sailed with her.

Now back to...follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road....gawd knows where we're going, but we'll follow JW on the yellow brick road!!!!

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cruiseguys2009

cruiseguys2009

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A quick note on pictures on this review.

 

Since the Reflection is brand spanking new, there are a multitude of pictures of this Grand Beauty out there already. On Library Lady's review, on YouTube, on the Celebrity web site as well. I did not want to be redundant with the same photos, so our pictures will be the more unusual kind, and more relevant to the story. As such, the photos of the members of our Roll Call that they choose to include, could be equally incriminating. :eek:

 

Speaking of incriminating pics, here is another one from the "Kiss My Martini" Cruise Critic Sail-A-Way with Jerome on the Left, Angie in the Middle and me, well, I was going for some Mother's Milk!

 

62588_10200517532335294_646483097_n.jpg

 

 

We did surely WAKE UP the Celebrity Reflection as the staff were constantly telling us!

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AlaskaGolden

AlaskaGolden

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Whaaat...no picture of Ram, you tease. Guess I'll go to bed and hope to see one - and live vicariously through your experience - tomorrow. I need to book another Reflection cruise.

 

Yes! Picture of Ram and Andres would be most appreciated. I might forget their names in 10 days, but their faces I'm sure to remember.:)

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cruiseguys2009

cruiseguys2009

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I was having trouble warming up to your style of review.....

....But then you got me with, "....bitchy in the casino:o!"

....and "Kiss MY Martini!"

 

 

I am just tellin' a story....kind of like the one "'bout a man named Jed, a poor Mountaineer barely kept his family fed, then one day when he was shootin' at some food, up from the ground come a bubblin' crude.....oil that is...Texas Tea...Black Gold" Okay, how many of you started singing that in your head?

 

Thanks for the kind remarks. Now onto Bitchy in the Casino!

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cruiseguys2009

cruiseguys2009

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Here is something to keep you occupied at work......

 

 

 

Okay, after the fabulous presentation in Murano, Jerome and I decided to head over to The Martini Bar and meet up with a couple of Ripe Green Olives floating in a well chilled Grey Goose Martini. Low and behold, when we arrived at the Martini Bar, don’t you know Miss Hat Lady was already holding court with The Three Saints and a bevy of Boys she fondly now calls “Her Gaybies”. Love it! Hat Lady was so much fun. All the boys loved her. She was nipped and tucked and the girl was not a day over 73. Honey her skin was pulled so tight that when she crossed her legs she automatically smiled! She was real proud to show off her latest achievement to us all. Hat Lady had just went from a boobie size Elderly Saggy on the Floor, to a Perky “D” Cup you could carry drinks on! She lifted her top to screams, hoots and hollers, and showed us her Store Bought Perkiness….Yes, she did!….see what awaits you on the first night of the 1,2,3, Drunk Package! That picture I will not post!

 

This is also where we first met Andres, the best Cocktail Server on the ship. Although he did say he served us earlier at the Sunset Bar Sail-A-Way party…..well I don’t remember very much from that Par-Tay but the pictures do help. Anyway, each and every time we saw Andres, he would be right there with my Martini Glass, Three Olives and My Grey Goose in a Martini Shaker and he would pour my drink for me…..Love it! (I think I may need a quick call out to Betty Ford and check their vacation rates after this cruise!) Too much fun, not at all what I expected.

 

Okay so there is Hat Lady, now sitting on the Ice at the Martini Bar (The Bar itself is a sheath, or layer of ice) and her Tushee gets stuck on the bar and Jerome and I have to unstick her little Heine with some sort of decorum. It was like getting my tongue stuck to a pole in the winter time…..Oh My! This was too much excitement for one night, and since it was around 11:30 PM I decided to go in to the Casino and Jerome went up to bed.

 

I am an avid Slot Queen, love my casino slots and know them very well. Over the years I have been lucky in the Casino’s on the ships. I was eager to try the Celebrity style of gaming. The Reflection’s Casino is rather beautiful and from a distance, a rather substantial size too. They have all the wonderful table games, and there are over 250 slot machines to play. From a distance it’s impressive, but take a closer look and, well to an avid slot player, not so much. This is where I was a bit disappointed. Out of all the machines they installed in the Casino, only three are Vegas “Branded” Machines. What I mean by that is, slot machines that are well known and fun to play. They only had a bank of 8 “Quick-Hits” and a bank of “Poker” Slots, but the odd thing was the Pay Tables on both had been drastically altered downward and were not the normal tables one would see on other ships, or in Vegaas. This I found odd. Industry standard payout tables on both machines are never tampered with and that is why they are popular, but the Poker Machines in particular were marginalized downward, so much so, that I would never win.

 

In a further review of the machines, they were all the same generic type of machine with different graphics. Nothing I recognized and no games that were synonymous with famous slot machines. Guess they did not want to pay royalties. However, these games were albeit nothing more that souped up arcade games that had payouts. They even had a phony Wheel Of Fortune Machine. Common guys, at least get a real Wheel Of Fortune TV Show machine. It’s the number one slot machine out there! No Red White and Blue, No Butterflys, No Bombay, No Money Storm, No Wolf Run…I know my slots.

 

In any case, I sat down, got another drink from the Casino Cocktail Hostess and began to play these generic arcade games. I lost, lost, and lost some more. Bounced around from machine to machine and figured out that the payouts were exactly the same, the bet options were the same, only the graphics changed from machine to machine. Bonus rounds….What bonus rounds?. Then it hit me.

 

In Florida, we had these places called “Senior Arcades” that had these same machines in them and they were just outlawed.. They attracted Seniors for want of nothing else to do and these storefronts had the same graphic machines that paid out coupons instead of cash. Those coupons could then be turned in for Visa Gift Cards, so they skirted Casino Gambling Laws. Well, our fine State just put an end to that sort of Gambling and even our Lieutenant Governor resigned because of this mess, as she was involved in several of these arcades. It made sense that the Florida Seniors would feel at home in this casino, sort of like the Arcades. I guess that’s why Celebrity designed them like this. Sad tho, for most of the cruise, except for the table games, the slots were a ghost town. A testament to “Branded” Machines, I guess.

 

So here I am plugging away, and did I also tell you that I was an invited Casino Guest as well, invited to sail with Celebrity and try the Casino? Try I did, like it I did not. See, on nights when a sailing has a Sea Day the following Day, the Casino’s on board all the other ships I have traveled on, would keep the slots open all thru the next night. So I had become accustomed to playing on other ships, say from 11 PM until at least 6 AM the following morning. Jerome’s routine was that he would waltz into the casino and hand me a Bloody Mary and say “Good Morning, did you have fun?” It was a ritual that we repeated on every cruise. It meant we were On Vacation!

 

This being the first night, and tomorrow was a Sea Day, I naturally was having my Gay old time, plunking moola into these Arcade machines, when this very nice young lady comes up to me and says “Mr. JW, since you are the only one playing the slot machines, we are shutting them down now”. “What?” I said. “Wait a minute, I just got a bonus and I have money in this machine!” “You are telling me that it does not matter that I am sitting here spending money and you are going to shut the machines down on me?” Infuriated, I continued with “That makes no sense”…….My Grand Bitchiness I feel is rising to the top…..especially because I see three tables full of gamblers and no one is in a rush to get those guys out of the casino…..no, not the craps or black jack tables. But shut the Slots down she did, and my machine spit out it’s money ticket and off the cage I went..

 

“Why did you shut the machines down when you still have people gambling?” I asked the Cashier. She replied “Casino Policy”. She gave me my money, I tipped her and she sang that veritable high pitched tune …..”Thank Yewwwww”, you know the tune…..anyway, I am incensed (and a couple of Martini’s in me) so like The Wicked Witch of the East, I click my heels right down to Guest Relations.

 

That poor man. He was all alone at the Guest Relations Desk, at two thirty in the morning, when this Wicked Old Witch rolls in with a “Who Killed My Sista” Growl. “What do you mean closing down the Slot Machines on me?” I snorted. He was precious. “Sir”, he said “Would you mind using your INSIDE VOICE”, “It’s rather late”.

 

Talk about diffusing a situation, I found that rather funny and of course realized I was being loud and absurd. But I asked that the Casino Host be contacted, I was still peeved that they did not want my money, and he told me that she was off and could only be contacted in the morning. I insisted that he wake her up! I realized later that I was acting like a mixture of Endora (Samantha’s Mother) from Bewitched and Joan Collins playing Alexis Carrington Colby from Dynasty! What a Drama Queen I was! Total Silliness. (Blame that on 1,2,3,!) Well, I did not wait around, just told him to forget it, and sauntered up to our stateroom where a surprised Jerome still up says “What the heck are you doing back so soon?”

 

I told him that they shut them machines down on me and all he said was “Uh Oh!” He knows me, Uh Oh is right! Especially at now three o’clock in the morning. Then the phone rang……again Jerome says “Uh Oh, here we go”. In my calm “Inside Voice” I say “Hallo?” Well it’s the Assistant Casino Host trying to tell me policy and what not, but the fact is that they were still keeping the Casino open for the table players, why not for me as a slot player. If I were the only one in the casino, then I would understand, but there were 25 other people gambling, just not me on the slots. And it was a Sea Day to boot.

 

End result, I decided to gamble off the ship instead, at the Casinos in the Ports of San Juan, St Maarten and St Kitts. I came home with more money that when I left. I had a great time playing the familiar machines I have come to know and love and I am “over it” with these Cruise Ship Slots.

 

I was an Itsy Bitchy Meany Queeny, but also learned my lesson. And a 1, and a 2 and a 3...GO!

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Anubi

Anubi

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JW, you sure have the descriptive vein running deep in you. I now have a picture of a tightly lifted very tanned senior lady, with a hat, flashing her "Bought In America" D-cup boobs. I can't even close my eyes to get away from it...its burned forever in my mind. ROFL

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maitlandmom

maitlandmom

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This review needs to come with a warning not to drink a diet pepsi while reading or risk splattering all over the screen!

 

My new cruise moto is going to be "blame it on the 1 2 3.

 

Thank you for this, I'm still laughing. I am loving the Wizard of Oz references. It's my favorite movie and sometimes I play the part of the Wicked Witch of the West.

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cruiseguys2009

cruiseguys2009

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I am so loving your review! Did you enjoy your balcony. I have my boys in the same cabin but on deck 10 and I hope they enjoy the extra space. (it's good to be my children)

 

I am looking forward to many martinis on my upcoming Eclipse cruise. I hope that they don't run out of olives.

 

 

We did love our balcony, you could sit in the chair at the railing and see all the way to the front of the ship. Truly beautiful!

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