What's the problem with cruise weddings?

[bluewater723]

It's not happening... I need a plan B.

SO and I talked more about marriage and agreed that it's getting close to time and that a cruise wedding is the right choice for us. We even talked to Carnival and Princess and got some preliminary planning started.

Then his family happened. They are NOT boat people. Listening to them rip apart a family members upcoming nuptials we realized they would never go for a cruise wedding.

 

1) Seriously, what is peoples problem with cruise weddings??

2) What is going to be Plan B?

[mauibound25]

1. Get married on the cruise, and if the family doesn't want to come, have an intimate wedding and then a party when you get home.

2. Get married on the beach and then cruise for the honeymoon.

 

Just remember - this is your day!

[cruisecritiquer]

Seriously, I have no idea where people get off trying to tell someone else how to get married. :confused: If you had your heart set on a cruise wedding, I'd go for it. Again this is if you have your heart set on it... I agree with the above poster. If you start compromising now, (and why should you have to compromise on your own wedding unless they are paying for it) before you know it they'll be running your entire life. :eek:

[bluewater723]

The thing is, I really like his family and would want them there so I don't want to do something they would hate. If we said "this is what we really want" I think they'd be fine...but I don't want to do something they'd hate.

 

The dinner conversation we had was a two parter: 1 part laughing/bashing this upcoming family member wedding (truly its going to be awful). 1 part the divide between boat lovers/haters. I don't want to make the boat haters have to get on a boat. I also don't want the family to have similar conversations about our wedding.

 

We are paying for it ourselves and I just cant see spending a ton of money (like some of the other family members have) on a wedding. I just cant! We're too laid back to do something formal.

 

Has anyone here done a split wedding/weddingmoon? Wedding ceremony in the morning, bruncheon, get on the ship, steakhouse with cruising guests? Maybe find a nice historic hotel around the port...

[nixiemaiden]

Have you talked to the family about it at all? I am just asking because my fiance is not a boat person and hates getting on boats but is totally fine with cruise ships.

 

Some options are, you can still have a wedding on a cruise ship. Have the wedding on the ship at the embarkation port and you can have up to 50 guests come that don't have to cruise with you to attend. After the wedding is over, they get off the boat and you still get to enjoy your cruise.

 

Second option, just do it anyway. Your wedding is about you and not making other people happy. My mom was a little upset with me because me and my fiance picked a cruise wedding and we are getting married on Half Moon Cay. As a result, only sailing guests are permitted and people don't have the option of flying in. If you go this route, you just have to realize that some people are not going to be able to go and you can't get upset by that.

 

The point is that as long as you plan it far enough away, most people who truly want to be able to attend your wedding will suck it up and do what they have to do to be there. There will be a few people who really want to be there but won't be able to be and for them, have a get together at some time when you get back. One of my aunts for example is a teacher and it will be very difficult for her to get the week off because it is close to spring break which she is already off for. I really want her to be able to join in on my day so I am planning on having a get together at a state park in the summer when people who aren't able to get off of work, will be more likely to be able to.

 

I have had an overwhelming positive response from people. Some people are upset that they won't be able to go, but they are happy for me and my fiance and want us to have our dream wedding so they aren't directing any negative energy towards us. (my attitude is kind of if you don't get that kind of response from people, eff them because they should be happy for you) Also, I had a few family members who have been wanting to go on a cruise but just hadn't gotten around to planning it and this got them to do it.

[bluewater723]

Have you talked to the family about it at all? I am just asking because my fiance is not a boat person and hates getting on boats but is totally fine with cruise ships.

 

We haven't directly talked about it with the family. We don't want to get anyone (his mom) too worked up. We're just fishing for information and opinions right now. Ideally, we'll let his brother get married first so someone (his mom) can get it out of her system.

 

Some options are, you can still have a wedding on a cruise ship. Have the wedding on the ship at the embarkation port and you can have up to 50 guests come that don't have to cruise with you to attend. After the wedding is over, they get off the boat and you still get to enjoy your cruise.

 

I've thought about this idea. I just don't know how it would fly. More information fishing may be in order.

 

...you just have to realize that some people are not going to be able to go and you can't get upset by that.

 

Honestly, I'm okay with some people not being able to go. I know that (like you said) the people that really want to go will make it a priority. There are people that I would invite that I know wouldn't come, be it a cruise wedding or a land wedding out of state, and I'm okay with that.

[green eyed lady]

My DS got married last week on the middle day of our Bermuda cruise on the Breakaway. It was just immediate family (10 total) because they didn't want the big wedding thing...waste of money to them and they don't like being the center of attention.

 

It was the most beautiful, perfect wedding I have ever been to :D They hired a planner in Bermuda who did all the work...the location was amazing (Stonehole Bay), weather was perfect...couldn't have had anything nicer or more appropriate for them.

 

If you did something like this, you could have whoever wants to cruise with you, and anyone who wants to be there but doesn't want to cruise could fly to Bermuda and do a land vacation (short or long).

 

We got back this past Sunday and they're leaving for their honeymoon next Friday, so they get to have a week alone. ;)

[NL2134]

We are doing embarkation wedding in New Orleans. We weren't sure our families would go for it (especially since FI family has never cruised before). We decided that we really wanted immediate family there and were only willing to plan around them. Luckily, they all liked the idea. We looked online and found 2 cruise itineraries we liked (a 4-day and a 7-day) and approached them with those 2 choices... they all preferred the 7-day. But, we also wanted to try to accomodate others, so that's why we decided to do the embarkation wedding. But, as long as our immediate family was there, we were okay with it. Definitely had some other people upset about our wedding choice, but my family is in MI or FL and his family is in AZ, so someone would have to travel and be unhappy no matter what we did. So making everyone travel seems like the logical solution, right?

 

We thought about doing a ceremony off ship a day or 2 before, but it just cost more than the cruise wedding and it was more trouble to plan. We like the simplicity of the cruise wedding. If we were going to plan a full wedding, we might as well do it at home.

 

But, I agree that people have no right to rip on your wedding plan. But they may not really think you are serious about the idea or realize that they are hurting your feelings with it. I would get more info, select a cruise option or two that YOU like, and then try to revisit the idea with them. The research shows you are serious about it and it gives them more info to consider before outright dismissing the option. And embarkation wedding may be a good way to go so you can still accommodate the "non-boat" people too.

 

Now, here is the hard part (it took me forever to learn this one):

 

You will NEVER please everyone. But it is YOUR day. Do what YOU want. And if they can't get over themselves and stop being selfish long enough to attend YOUR wedding, then maybe they don't deserve to be there. Decide who you ABSOLUTELY NEED to have at your wedding, the people you would be devestated if they weren't there with you, and plan it ONLY with them and yourself in mind. Discuss the plan ONLY with those people. If they really can't do the cruise wedding (not don't want to do it, but really CAN'T do it), even the embarkation wedding, THEN, and only then, start looking at other options. If they really care about you, and have the ability to come, they will be there. But, if this is REALLY what you want, and you can get those MUST HAVE people there, then go for it and who cares about the rest. Either they show up or they don't. There are some people I would have liked to have there, but once I realized they weren't on my MUST HAVE list, I was actually okay with them saying they couldn't go... I had already decided they weren't critical for me to be happy that day.

[cruisecritiquer]

We are doing embarkation wedding in New Orleans. We weren't sure our families would go for it (especially since FI family has never cruised before). We decided that we really wanted immediate family there and were only willing to plan around them. Luckily, they all liked the idea. We looked online and found 2 cruise itineraries we liked (a 4-day and a 7-day) and approached them with those 2 choices... they all preferred the 7-day. But, we also wanted to try to accomodate others, so that's why we decided to do the embarkation wedding. But, as long as our immediate family was there, we were okay with it. Definitely had some other people upset about our wedding choice, but my family is in MI or FL and his family is in AZ, so someone would have to travel and be unhappy no matter what we did. So making everyone travel seems like the logical solution, right?

 

We thought about doing a ceremony off ship a day or 2 before, but it just cost more than the cruise wedding and it was more trouble to plan. We like the simplicity of the cruise wedding. If we were going to plan a full wedding, we might as well do it at home.

 

But, I agree that people have no right to rip on your wedding plan. But they may not really think you are serious about the idea or realize that they are hurting your feelings with it. I would get more info, select a cruise option or two that YOU like, and then try to revisit the idea with them. The research shows you are serious about it and it gives them more info to consider before outright dismissing the option. And embarkation wedding may be a good way to go so you can still accommodate the "non-boat" people too.

 

Now, here is the hard part (it took me forever to learn this one):

 

You will NEVER please everyone. But it is YOUR day. Do what YOU want. And if they can't get over themselves and stop being selfish long enough to attend YOUR wedding, then maybe they don't deserve to be there. Decide who you ABSOLUTELY NEED to have at your wedding, the people you would be devestated if they weren't there with you, and plan it ONLY with them and yourself in mind. Discuss the plan ONLY with those people. If they really can't do the cruise wedding (not don't want to do it, but really CAN'T do it), even the embarkation wedding, THEN, and only then, start looking at other options. If they really care about you, and have the ability to come, they will be there. But, if this is REALLY what you want, and you can get those MUST HAVE people there, then go for it and who cares about the rest. Either they show up or they don't. There are some people I would have liked to have there, but once I realized they weren't on my MUST HAVE list, I was actually okay with them saying they couldn't go... I had already decided they weren't critical for me to be happy that day.

 

 

Great advice.

 

OP, I think it would be easier if you just came out with it and told them how you feel and what you were thinking of instead of having to guess and beat around the bush. Of course, I'm direct by nature so this may be easier said than done. I think it's sad that you don't want to even bring up suggestions for fear MIL will get worked up. What does she have to get worked up about. It's YOUR wedding. It's fine to be considerate and thoughtful and it sounds like you are plenty of that. Just make sure you end up with the wedding you want. As far as I'm concerned, if they aren't paying for it then they need to just smile and nod. ;)

 

Wait a minute...what does your DF say about all this? He can't talk to his parents?

[tinkerbell_82]

There is nothing wrong with cruise weddings at all. Try not to stress about what other people think. We knew going into this that we would likely have a lot of people who would not/could not attend (most of my family included) and decided on an embarkation wedding. That way at least my dad, who absolutely will not cruise, could come.

 

I understand your stress but try not to forget, at the end of the day all that matters is that you are married to the one you love. Everything else is second to that. :)

 

 

 

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[bluewater723]

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I think it's sad that you don't want to even bring up suggestions for fear MIL will get worked up. What does she have to get worked up about. It's YOUR wedding.

 

Wait a minute...what does your DF say about all this? He can't talk to his parents?

 

Perhaps "worked up" wasn't the best word choice on my behalf. I don't mean she would get worked up in a bad way. I think that our families had both assumed he and I would not be getting married since we've never really brought it up directly, we've been together for quite awhile, own a house, ect. If we tell his parents we're talking about getting married his mom will go crazy with excitement. Every time she's asked (in the past) I've kinda brushed off the topic. Their hasn't been any official announcement of plans yet, no official engagement, just the planning between the two of us...and my best friend because I couldn't keep it a secret from her. Honestly I think she knew before I did because she has an awful "keeping a secret" face. I think the official engagement and announcement will happen this February. We're just trying to go into this with a plan. Because I always need a plan.

DF loved the idea of a cruise wedding. We had talked to Carnival and Princess about the embarkation day wedding. After hearing his families opinions of cruising combined with that of this upcoming family wedding he was the one that said "well I guess we can't do the cruise wedding".

I'm flexible, easy to please. One of my top reasons for loving the cruise wedding is the ease. I like a package deal that gives me few options. It's not going to CRUSH me if we don't do it. I understand that he really wants to do something that his family would like. My family could care less. Most of them probably wouldn't attend anyway and the ones that would attend would go anywhere. His family has been so good to us. It would be nice to give them a party they would enjoy...

Who knows. Maybe I will devise two plans and in February lay them both out there for his family and get their opinions. They do know we love cruising and maybe if they don't have to stay on the ship when it sails they'll be fine.

[nixiemaiden]

Kind of how I looked at it and what put it into more perspective for my parents is that for the cost of a local wedding photographer, I am able to get a ceremony, reception including open bar for up to 20 people, photography service, a coordinator, a cake, food, and a DJ.

 

We also told our parents that going this route, we won't be paying off a wedding for the next 5 years so they might get grand kids sooner. (both of our parents have been bugging us about this for the last couple of years so the line works well for us).

[bluewater723]

Kind of how I looked at it and what put it into more perspective for my parents is that for the cost of a local wedding photographer, I am able to get a ceremony, reception including open bar for up to 20 people, photography service, a coordinator, a cake, food, and a DJ.

 

We also told our parents that going this route, we won't be paying off a wedding for the next 5 years so they might get grand kids sooner. (both of our parents have been bugging us about this for the last couple of years so the line works well for us).

 

That's a good idea. Giving them that perspective, they would probably be more understanding.

 

Thanks, everyone, for your advice. I really, really, appreciate it and feel better about everything. I'll talk to DF after we get done at the gym tonight and see what he thinks. It really is the best idea for us. We love cruising. We love saving money. We love simplicity. It seems so obvious.

 

Now to get the plan in place and make it official...

[Artemis908]

You don't have to be a "boat lover" to go to an embarkation day wedding. I don't know how far away Norfolk is from you (I see you're in North Carolina) but that may be a drivable cruise port you can go to. I knew that I would have a problem with getting people to go on the cruise, but we had 70 non-sailing guests come to our wedding and the drive was 1-3 hours for them.

[lightskinedgyal]

I agree with most people here.......no matter what you do people will complain even if you have a wedding at home it will be to small, to cheap, too simple, too whateva......cruise wedding is different and unique and embarkment weddings give people the choice to come on the ship or not but every single bride has said that the non cruising guest wish they wouldve stayed! I think your best bet is an embarkment wedding like the one i am having in which you please everyone!

[HeatherC430]

When we got married on the Dream (about 2.5 years ago) we didn't allow anyone to have a say one way or another. We love cruising, wanted something "different", were going to be paying for the wedding ourselves & only wanted our closest friends/family there (rather than hundreds of people). We got married on embarkation day which worked out well, because we had a bunch of people fly into Florida for the weekend with us & board the ship for the wedding/reception. Those people who didn't cruise for the week couldn't because they couldn't afford the cruise, take the extra week off work (most of my friends are teachers), or any other reason were still able to join us and celebrate our wedding with us. Those who didn't stay on the cruise were sour when they had to get off the ship, all wishing they could continue the party with us. We did have about 10 people cruise with us for the week though.

 

The funny part is, my DH's parents - specifically his dad - had never been on a cruise, had the "I don't like boats" mentality and we heard about it for the year prior to boarding the ship. Needless to say, he/they LOVED the cruise! In fact, they just booked a cruise to Canada/New England for next month just the two of them! Moral of the story, even if those especially close to you might not be totally "onboard" with the idea of the cruise wedding & would prefer you get married in a traditional venue, if you make it clear you've made your decision and they can come or not come, you just may find that they really enjoy themselves onboard for the wedding and/or cruise.

[dcdiva]

I had some slew of "I don't like boats" and cruise haters too -- but to a person, they are all now converts. My favorite story is from a dear, dear friend who swore she'd never, EVER go on a cruise. But because it was my wedding and she loves me, she agreed to go. And, trust me, she was totally prepared to hate every minute. My wedding cruise was supposedly her first and last cruise. Since then -- she's been on 15 cruises!! She's totally a convert, as are most of the friends and family who initially said 'no way'.

 

I know there are some folks who won't come, but if it's what you really want, your family will probably come anyway -- and they just might have a great time.

[pattycakes]

My DS got married last week on the middle day of our Bermuda cruise on the Breakaway. It was just immediate family (10 total) because they didn't want the big wedding thing...waste of money to them and they don't like being the center of attention.

 

It was the most beautiful, perfect wedding I have ever been to :D They hired a planner in Bermuda who did all the work...the location was amazing (Stonehole Bay), weather was perfect...couldn't have had anything nicer or more appropriate for them.

 

 

Did they jump off a cliff? There was an awesome shot circulating on FB from the Bermuda sites......

[bluewater723]

My DS got married last week on the middle day of our Bermuda cruise on the Breakaway. It was just immediate family (10 total) because they didn't want the big wedding thing...waste of money to them and they don't like being the center of attention.

 

It was the most beautiful, perfect wedding I have ever been to :D They hired a planner in Bermuda who did all the work...the location was amazing (Stonehole Bay), weather was perfect...couldn't have had anything nicer or more appropriate for them.

 

If you did something like this, you could have whoever wants to cruise with you, and anyone who wants to be there but doesn't want to cruise could fly to Bermuda and do a land vacation (short or long).

 

Bermuda is actually a great idea. One of my friends is from there and he speaks so highly of it. My mom has always talked about wanting to go, so I know she would be thrilled. SO's family all live in New England so a Maryland departure could appease them. We would likely end up with more guests (sailing and non-sailing both) that way. I'm pretty sure we are going take this next cruise as the opportunity to "make it official" and go ahead and start solidifying some plans.

[dcarter4]

Blue Water (I love the name, BTW...that was what I said...over and over..when I went on my first cruise..."I just wanna see the Blue Water!!"

 

Anyway...many people have given you great advise. Your wedding day is your (AND your mans) day ! Yes...don't forget your better half.

 

My perspective is different. I am looking at proposing to my long-time girlfriend (i've known her for 30 years). We are both divorced. We both did the BIG first wedding thing. We BOTH have horror stories....trying to please everyone....place settings....who sits with who(m). Not this time....

 

When she says "Yes"...i will immediately talk about a cruise wedding. We mentioned it before...and half of her family said NO WAY!!

 

..and you guessed it...none of them have ever been on a cruise ship before?!

 

Guess what? We're doing it ANYWAY!!

 

Why? WE are paying for it?! Not them...they are guests.

 

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE her family. I would love for them to be there. I will even PAY for THEIR trip...but I won't give up a beautiful memory to ignorance.

 

They are closed minded about many things. This is one of them.

 

Do your thing. Be happy. LIVE your life.

 

If they want to join you...great....if not....you'll show them the great picture..when you return!

[aideek2000]

Any one knows about the documentation needed for embarkation weddings for the non-cruisers?

Passport? Id? Birth certificate?

 

Sent from my Le Pan S using Forums mobile app

[bluewater723]

Any one knows about the documentation needed for embarkation weddings for the non-cruisers?

Passport? Id? Birth certificate?

 

Sent from my Le Pan S using Forums mobile app

 

I believe it is just a DL or Passport. You have to turn in the Name, DOB, and document number with your guest list. Children under 16 can use a birth certificate.

Can anyone verify this?

[bluewater723]

Blue Water (I love the name, BTW...that was what I said...over and over..when I went on my first cruise..."I just wanna see the Blue Water!!"

 

Anyway...many people have given you great advise. Your wedding day is your (AND your mans) day ! Yes...don't forget your better half.

 

My perspective is different. I am looking at proposing to my long-time girlfriend (i've known her for 30 years). We are both divorced. We both did the BIG first wedding thing. We BOTH have horror stories....trying to please everyone....place settings....who sits with who(m). Not this time....

 

When she says "Yes"...i will immediately talk about a cruise wedding. We mentioned it before...and half of her family said NO WAY!!

 

..and you guessed it...none of them have ever been on a cruise ship before?!

 

Guess what? We're doing it ANYWAY!!

 

Why? WE are paying for it?! Not them...they are guests.

 

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE her family. I would love for them to be there. I will even PAY for THEIR trip...but I won't give up a beautiful memory to ignorance.

 

They are closed minded about many things. This is one of them.

 

Do your thing. Be happy. LIVE your life.

 

If they want to join you...great....if not....you'll show them the great picture..when you return!

 

Wow, 30 years! Congratulations and thank you for the advice. :)

[cruiseonthebrain]

Get married on embarkation day- if they don't want to cruise they don't have to. They can get off the ship after the reception and you can sail away in bliss:)

[green eyed lady]

Did they jump off a cliff? There was an awesome shot circulating on FB from the Bermuda sites......

 

HA...no that wasn't them lol :D