Rhapsody of AussieLad: Live(ish) from North Queensland and the South Pacific

[AussieLad]

Rhapsody of the Seas

North Queensland and South Pacific

28 December - 12 January 2013

 

Welcome to my live (ish) feed from Rhapsody of the Seas, departing and returning from Sydney via Brisbane, Airlie Beach, Cairns, Vila, Noumea, Mystery Island and the Isle of Pines over 15 nights from December 28 2013 to January 12 2014. Please ensure your seat is upright and your trays folded up for the duration.

 

Why "AussieLad"?

 

My first venture out onto the open sea by way of cruise ship was a transatlantic in November 2012. As many cruisers should know, transatlantics tend to attract passengers with two particular features. Firstly, they generally hail from the nearby lands (Europe and North America). Secondly, many tend to be, to put it delicately... OLD.

 

Being on the opposite side of the world, a fraction of the average age at the time (24), and incapable of thinking of anything better, I went with AussieLad, a handle which I will no doubt have regrets over when cruising closer to home, or as I get further away from the "lad" and towards the OLD.

 

Why Rhapsody?

 

The office is closed. Sure it costs more to travel at this time of year, but if work is making me take the time off anyway, I may as well take even more time off and do something with it. I am happily still in that period of life where sacrificing money for time opportunity cost seems logical. Enjoy it while it lasts.

 

Why review?

 

This may be an unfair generalisation, but I've found that many reviewers are (1) female, (2) accompanied, and (3) ...I'll leave you to work it out for yourself (refer to "Lad" in "AussieLad"). Myself being (1) male, (2) solo, and (3) not greatly gifted of years, I thought it might be interesting to comment from my perspective. There also don't seem to be many reviews of Rhapsody since its recent refit (I think I found two), and few reviews from the southern part of the world, so this might help for those interested in either of these.

[AussieLad]

Day One

Boarding

 

That glorious day has finally arrived where one can stop thinking about when one is going to board the ship.

 

Having flown down to Sydney from Brisbane on Boxing Day (the day after Christmas for those of you from countries that don't recognise that day), embarkation day is a welcome departure - nothing against Sydney itself, but last minute shopping through post-Christmas sales crowds, including for a replacement phone after my trusty (and relatively new!) Nokia decided it didn't like booting anymore, making me the proud but much poorer owner of a new Galaxy S4, all of which made me tired and eager to get on with my holiday proper.

 

I'd been out the previous evening with friends in Sydney, but fortunately our libations had not extended too far into the night, meaning I was up and ready relatively early. Leaving my hotel not long before I'd have been booted out at 10am anyway, I make the half hour walk through the city to the international terminal at Circular Quay where Rhapsody awaits.

 

Obligatory cruise ship porn:

 

 

 

I've never held myself out to be the world's greatest photographer and I'm using a camera(phone) that I've owned for literally 24 hours at this point. If you want better pictures that what I'm giving you, feel free to fly to a port Rhapsody is visiting and take one yourself.

 

Arriving early does have its perks - unbridled room for exploration being one.

 

 

 

My favourite hangout (partly because it was the first bar to open) on my previous cruise was the Schooner Bar, and I fully expect to spend many hours on this cruise there as well, making finding the Schooner Bar's location on Rhapsody a priority. There, I meet Jose and Mo, two of the bar staff there, who I'm fully sure will get to know (and rue) my face over the next two weeks.

 

 

A few days before departure, I purchased the premium drink package. I've since noticed a few details different to what has been discussed here, most prominently, that only one type of champagne is included (apparently this is different to "wine"), and the dollar values for cocktails and wine is $12 and $14 rather than $10 and $12. I thought hard about whether I'd take full advantage of the package (I had the old premium package on my transatlantic and ultimately didn't "break even"), but ultimately concluded that if I'm travelling the south pacific in the middle of summer, I'm sure as hell going to need a drink.

 

I am also engaging in a small social experiment, namely, I am tipping extra to bar staff. Without turning this into a discussion on economics, Australia is one of those glorious nations that has generally embraced the concept (if not necessarily achieved the implementation) of "paying a livable minimum wage". I also know that the service staff onboard recieve most of their salary through tips. I know that many people (including my mother - who, incidentally, has never actually cruised) get shrill and high-pitched about the concept of having to "pre-pay" gratuities (or pay them at all), but I simply factor in the prepaid gratuities as part of the cost of cruising. It'll be interesting to see if another $1/drink will affect anything. If nothing else, it'll make me feel better.

[AussieLad]

Day One

Boarding

(continued)

 

 

After a short break next to the pools (the only point in the cruise when it's likely that the top deck will be peaceful), the Windjammer proves too much of a draw to a hungry stomach. Or perhaps the Park Cafe? What's the draw for a young man, honey-stung chicken or roast beef rolls? Decisions, decisions...

 

I finally set off on a direction and I can report that the demise of honey-stung chicken is greatly exaggerated (at least on Rhapsody).

 

Sorry, no food porn, but I'm sure you can imagine Windjammer food without my help.

 

After lunch, time to check out my room. I had a balcony last time, but found that I didn't use the balcony much when travelling solo and couldn't justify the extra expense. This time, I went with the interior guarantee, netting me a comfortable room on Deck 3 (or "steerage", as I believe it was once called).

 

 

Reporting back to my favourite of places, the Schooner Bar, I quickly settle in and start clocking up drinks on my package. I'm also introduced to new friends Steve and Sarah (at least, I hope that's what their names are, otherwise it may be very awkward should they ever read this - expect to see this footnote regularly), who I also bump into later that afternoon for the send-off after muster drill.

 

Sydney isn't a bad port to have to leave from. Prettier than Southampton, anyway.

 

 

 

I decide to forego the various events of the evening (Welcome Aboard show, etc.) for trivia at the Schooner Bar. The topic for this evening is "You Don't Know Ship" about the Rhapsody itself. Steve, Sarah and myself - and two others whose names I can't remember - achieved victory (with Jose's discreet help) from the bar by a single point, making us all the proud owners of a Royal Caribbean keyring (thankfully, we each got one, it could have been awkward trying to divide a keychain five ways).

 

For dinner at the main dining room (My Time Dining), I ask to be seated with people but end up at a two-top. I later learn that apparently there's a lot of families and groups occupying the larger tables. Not that it matters, as I end up talking to the two couples that ended up seated at the two-tops next to mine - Adrian and Lyn, and Chris and Melissa (see note on names above).

 

Sorry, no food porn again - I forgot. I'll try harder next time.

 

Our waiters for this evening are Stephen and Julius, both nice guys who seemed a little harried - first day rush I suppose. I try for the eggplant tart, but Julius warns me off it and somehow convinces me to go for the escargot (which are also alive - as a form of cuisine, anyway - and available on Rhapsody). I can't say that it's too bad, once I worked out how to eat them and got over the "snail" factor - wouldn't say I'd go out of my way to order them again, but not inedible. The main is slow-cooked prime rib which is just a bit rare for my liking, and I take Stephen's recommendation on the carrot cake to good results.

 

The evening is taken up by more fun and games at the Schooner Bar, followed by the Viking Crown Lounge with Steve and Sarah. It is at this point that I face the first of my cruise concerns.

 

The average age of the cruiser has been dropping. Solo numbers are also increasing. These are both good things (from my point of view). Passengers are younger, and solo's are more, ergo, there must be some young female solo's out there who may appreciate a bit of companionship (or young male solo's, I suppose - what happens on Rhapsody stays on Rhapsody, right?). Lamentably, however, the Viking Crown Lounge is bereft of such patrons, or indeed many patrons at all. Perhaps the next day will find more success?

 

As I take my leave, I am also faced with a depressing realisation - boarding day is a hectic day, but it's only 11.30 or so. I should still be out and about, but I'm throwing in the towel already. Could it be that secretly, behind this youthful facade, I could be... OLD?

 

Tomorrow is the first day at sea. What will the first full day on Rhapsody bring? Is AussieLad doomed to loneliness? Will a good night's sleep see more hearty partying? Tune in next time.

[AussieLad]

Day Two

At Sea

 

The comments about interior rooms were correct in at least one respect: you turn off the light and they're pitch black. Unfortunately, breaking the sleeping habits of the working week does not come automatically on holiday, and I find myself awake at 7am. I manage to delay getting out of bed until 8.30 and, after getting ready for the day, head off to wander the ship.

 

While I don't go looking for food, I do check out the Park Cafe and Cafe Latte-tudes, but the draw of the Windjammer proves to be too strong and I settle down to share a table with Simon. We share observations about crusing and our backgrounds (Simon references friends who were to join him but didn't make it onboard, so I'm unable to determine whether he's solo or with others) before I head off to the Solarium for a pina colada and a comfortable chair on which to sit with my Kindle.

 

I wholeheartedly approve of the Solarium. The concept of a pool area (enclosed) without children is encouraging. However, I encounter the same problem as before... a certain percentage are OLD (also in groups, or at least in pairs).

 

If it sounds single-minded... think about what men you know (fathers, husbands, children) at this age (or even at their current one) and whether they'd act any differently if left to their own devices.

 

Still, such concerns are removed by my escape to a world of fantasy (Polgara the Sorceress by David Eddings, for those of you playing at home), at least until lunchtime, which saw a drink or two at the Schooner Bar followed by lunch in the main dining room.

 

I share the table with a group of people, but only catch the names of the family travelling at my end - parents Sharon (Shannon? I'm no good with names or hearing at the best of times) and Dean, and child+partner Nikita and Paul (not sure which of them is the child and which is the partner - maybe I'll find out if I run into them again). Dinner is one of the excellent salads made on the spot for you and Singapore noodles.

 

No, no food porn. I'm bad at this.

 

A bit more wandering around the ship gets me slightly lightened by the cost of a lanyard for my SeaPass and eyeing off duty free liqour and Tag Heuer watches. Barely resisting the pull, I retreat to the Schooner Bar for another drink, followed by - of all things - a nap back in my stateroom to prepare myself for a longer night of entertainment (or so I tell myself).

 

Going to bed early - check. Napping in the early afternoon - check. Oh dear. The signs of OLD are mounting...

 

Rising, it's time for more time at the Solarium with yon Kindle, followed by yet more drinks at the Schooner Bar. It appears that many of the unattached young women are travelling as part of family groups - this could be troublesome. I'm also finding that my frequent bartenders are getting used to the idea that I tip, while in other places it can be almost difficult to provide one. Maybe staff aren't used to someone tipping in this part of the world - it's not part of Australian culture (it's not needed when there's a livable-ish minimum wage, as discussed above). Still, early days to my experiment yet.

 

As the evening progresses, I see Captain Rob's little event, introducing all the senior staff on board. Captain Rob seems like a captain who can at least hold his own when performing the entertainment duties, and the theme music for all the staff is amusingly coordinated (e.g. the HR manager has "Don't Worry, Be Happy" while the chief medical officer has "Stayin' Alive").

 

Dinner is a high and a low this evening - while I do get seated at an eight-top, I am the first (and ultimately only) one to be seated there. I'm sure I never had this problem of finding dining buddies onboard Independence - are Brits and Americans simply more outgoing than Australians when it comes to dining company? Is it a matter of the number of passengers on board? Has word of me spread on the ship this quickly already and the maitre'd bribed to keep me away?

 

Yes, I have food porn this time.

 

Chicken entree. I may have had a slice before I remembered to take the photo, but you get the idea.

 

 

Grouper fillet main. A small piece may have accidentally fallen into my mouth by way of my fork before the camera(phone) came out.

 

 

Lemon meringue desert. I had to have a small spoonful so you could see the inside. I was doing a service for you people. Really.

 

 

My waiter this evening is Dante, who is quick and attentive. I'm only a few feet away from last night's section (where last night's dining buddies are sitting), and a roaming band of singing waiters announces in song that it's Melissa's birthday today, so I head over for a quick chat with them as well.

 

Post dinner is the headline act for this evening, a chap by the name of Patrick McMahon, who performs a variety of Kenny Rogers, Neil Diamond, Johnny Cash, John Denver, and others. It's an enjoyable enough show, but I suspect that my enjoyment would have been much greater had I been born in the same century in which these men were performing.

 

After the show, and it's time for the Viking Crown Lounge again. It's certainly busier this time, and even with young women who may be unattached. This is promising. Unfortunately, I clearly didn't stagger myself well enough and I've reached that point of inebriation where I'm not actually that inebriated and I don't feel like re-inebriating myself for the sole purpose of increasing said inebriation.

 

I should make it clear here, now, that I've never been a nightclubby sort of person, they're loud, crowded and headache-inducing, I can count the number of times I've actually enjoyed myself in a nightclub on the fingers of one hand, and it generally takes a ruthless combination of substances such as absinthe and red bull (which I sincerely doubt I could acquire onboard - at least I'd hope that I couldn't) to convince me otherwise.

 

I'm not really helping the case against my latent OLDness, am I?

 

In any case, while alcohol may be the social lubricant, I'm not lubricating any more this evening, and with that, it's time to head off at 12am. Chris Brown may want to dance forever, but this Aussie lad is going to sleep.

 

When I get back to my stateroom, this fellow is waiting for me. I can't quite work out what he is, but he seems to be happy.

 

 

Tomorrow Rhapsody arrives in Brisbane, AussieLad's home town, and his first time staying onboard a ship during a port day. Will he find love in its deserted halls? Can he take advantage of spa discounts to try and get a haircut that doesn't make him look like a spaniel? Will he get said hair dyed and buy a Ferrari (watch) in a desperate attempt to convince himself that he is young on the inside as well as the outside? Tune in next time.

[Very Frequent Flyer]

Looks like an elephant with it's legs crossed, or meditating!

 

I'm going on the Rhapsody in February so it will be interesting what animals I get!!! And looking forward to seeing more of your photos.

[BekkaW]

Great review! We're thinking about Rhapsody for a late summer break so this is perfect timing. If possible please report your views on Park Cafe, cheers.

[susie2shoes]

I'm enjoying your "live" report from Rhapsody. I do hope you manage to meet some young ladies to improve your social situation. Keep posting as I am loving the Aussie sense of humour!!!

[aussielozzie18]

Loving your review. Your comments about Patrick McMahon were spot on. I found this applied to most of the Production Shows - they did seem designed for the older generation.

If you see Sam McCool "comedian" - please give us your take on him - he didnt go down too well with our cruise audience.

[AussieLad]

Day Three

Brisbane

 

Staying onboard means an opportunity for a more relaxed morning, and a more relaxed morning is what I have. Rousing myself out of bed sometime around 8.30, I head to the Main Dining Room for breakfast, where I share a table with a family whose names I don't catch. There's just some people that way.

 

Some people say that you shouldn't speak badly of home, but the Port of Brisbane is an ugly, ugly place to dock. The port is coastal as the bigger ships can't navigate the Brisbane River, which means that the whole area is industrial and you have to take a 45-minute shuttle to reach Brisbane proper. I don't need to pay RCI $24 for the privilege of seeing the city I work in every day.

 

The morning is slow, and with my Kindle, I learn a fundamental truth: being onboard while the ship is in dock is kind of boring. Still, there's more Kindle to be read, and the Solarium is still my home for that activity.

 

Eventually, however, the second of the two things always on young men's minds attracts itself, and with the main dining room closed, I decide to take advantage of room service for the first time this week.

 

The room service is at least as good as my last trip on Independence, however, the cheese plate seems to have gotten smaller. The delivery man gets a fiver for his trouble. After dinner, it's time for a snooze.

 

Shut up. I like sleep. Go have your own holiday.

 

By the time I'm up, the ship is a bit more populated as people return, and it's to the old haunt of the Schooner Bar for drinks. I'm reintroduced today to an old friend called the mudslide, who I see regularly throughout the rest of the day.

 

Sighting available females remains a problem, for a few reasons.

 

(1) Most are attached to family groups, partners, etc. and are hard to approach.

 

(2) It's hard to tell the age of many of them, especially outside the bars. The last thing I want to do is try and hit on a 15 year old, for any number of good and valid reasons.

 

Still, the search continues.

 

(For those of you that haven't picked it up already, I'm not actually that concerned about female companionship - or lack thereof - it's just a fun sideshow. Not that I would necessarily decline were it to be available...)

 

Tonight the headline show is illusionist Duck Cameron, who seems to have a flair, but his tricks seem a little basic (I suspect he's constrained by what he's allowed to do on board).

 

Afterwards it's dinner in the main dining room with Frank and Diane over some kind of Italian fried rice/mushroom ball creation (Arancini?), Chicken Masala and the dessert sampler.

 

Of course, it's now that I remember that I had planned on getting a haircut today (which didn't happen), and that tomorrow is New Year's Eve, meaning Vitality will be packed with wome- people getting all pampered for the festivities. Still, after a quick dash to deck 9, I manage to scrape into a lunchtime haircut slot for tomorrow.

 

Tonight is our Rock n' Roll dance party, which seems a hit. "Elvis" (who I think is Jamie, the assistant cruise director) makes an appearance.

 

 

 

 

The party is fun and all, but I still head off to bed relatively early. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, after all, and a special effort will have to be put in even by AussieLad's standards...

 

Holidaying in Brisbane proves as dull as living in Brisbane. Will a day at sea inspire greater debauchery? Can AussieLad find companionship by the end of the year? Or will he crash before he even sees its end? Tune in next time.

Edited January 1, 2014 by AussieLad
Images

[AussieLad]

Day Four

At Sea: New Year's Eve

 

The bastards in charge of activity planning have made New Year's Eve difficult: it's actually a pretty good day for what's on, making it hard to work out how to best pace one's self in preparation for the big celebrations in the evening. Still, at least we have a nice day for it.

 

 

I decide to forego breakfast in exchange for a longer morning in bed and eventually dash off to the early morning lecture on Airlie Beach and Cairns, which we will be visiting over the next two days (also rue the man who decided we should arrive in Airlie Beach at 7am on New Year's Day). The lecture is a bit dry, and the lecturer's struggling voice (she sounds like she has laryngitis or something along those lines) doesn't improve things.

 

After the lecture, it's time to dash off to the Shall We Dance Lounge on the opposite end of the ship for the first day of progressive trivia. I run into Nikita and Paul and join them for the trivia, being joined just before kick-off by Dean and Diane (yes, I know that's not her name. Calling each other a wrong name is a game now. I am Sam.)

 

My prodigious knowledge of Harry Potter finally comes to use when five of fifteen questions is dedicated to Harry Potter, making a clean sweep of that section and helping give us a strong score at the end of the day. Next progressive trivia is in three days' time, so we'll see how that goes.

 

After trivia, it's a quick chat with Steve and Sarah in the Schooner Bar, and then Jamie's Great Debate (topic: Facebook).

 

I'm now peckish, but I don't feel like something too big, so I settle in at the Park Cafe in the Solarium for a quick three-cheese toastie. Not quite melted enough for my taste, but I like it runny.

 

 

That proved to be a mistake, and I find myself loitering to the other end of the ship where the Windjammer offers fried rice, pepperoni pizza, mashed potato and other goodies. Yeah, it's a weird combination, but I'm on holiday.

 

A few photos of the Windjammer:

 

 

 

 

Edited January 1, 2014 by AussieLad
Typo

[AussieLad]

Day Four

At Sea: New Year's Eve

(continued)

 

More photos of Windjammer:

 

 

 

 

But I have to run, because I have my appointment at Vitality. Cadi is my hairdresser today, and she gives me a nice shampoo and trim.

 

Today the ship feels a little bit off. I may have mentioned feeling vibrations around the place before, but it's particularly noticeable today - enough that it's rattling the bottles in the Schooner Bar and makes me feel like I'm in a massage chair in Vitality on deck 9. Jose at Schooner tells me that it's probably because we're quartering into the current. Cadi is unconcerned and says she doesn't even notice it anymore.

 

The haircut is good, but I'm concerned (as I always am) that it makes me look (1) too babyface, and/or (2) too geeky. Having said that, looking younger might not be a bad thing after an intern at work was shocked to find I'm only eight days older than him (a little older, maybe, but I thought "a lot older" was a bit much).

 

Okay, despite my carefree attitude, I'm actually vain. So what?

 

I use my 10% discount C&A coupon and Cadi gets a $7.50 tip for a total of around $40 (which is still more than I've ever paid for a haircut before - a shock to the ladies, I'm sure). Then it's time for the Men's International Belly Flop Competition, which provides all kinds of eye-watering entertainment.

 

No, I don't have any photos, but do you really want photographs of fat men in board shorts?

 

After the competition, I take a moment on the pool deck to the enjoy the... scenery (suggestions that photos exist will be neither confirmed nor denied), before heading to the Schooner Bar for a quick drink, and then to the Shall We Dance Lounge for some Cash Prize Bingo. I think their number machine was broken, though, it wasn't calling out any of my numbers.

 

It's now time to suit up for the formal evening. If you're imagining AussieLad ducking into a small room and then dashing out clean-shaven and in pristine clothing, you're not far off, except I wear my underpants underneath. When I'm wearing them.

 

This evening we have Mowtown tribute band The Groove Line headlining the evening shows. I'm honestly not fussed. I think they would do better performing original material than trying to be a cover band.

 

Here we come to a bit of a grumpy part. It's time for dinner, and I'm left waiting for a table. For almost an hour. I get it's New Year's Eve, which means that (1) big groups will be coming tonight more than any other night, (2) big groups will want to sit on their own, and (3) people are more likely to linger over their meal, but really? An hour? They try to make a big deal about it being because I haven't booked, but I know that's not the problem because people who also didn't book who arrived later are being seated earlier because they're in groups. I'm only one person, I should be able to fit in anywhere.

 

Because it's New Year's Eve, and they're being run ragged (they look exhausted as they try to arrange tables for people), I'll give them a pass. Once. If it happens again, there's going to be hell.

 

An older woman is left waiting for even longer than I am, and eventually we are put together on a six-seater (of course, we are the only two that end up being on the table). We are given a glass of wine in apology for our wait (a nice gesture, but I don't have the heart to tell them that since I'm on the premium package it's meaningless). Margaret and I enjoy conversation over beef salad, leek and potato strudel, and straberry banana torte, but by this point we're eager to just get out of the main dining room, and dinner passes relatively quickly.

 

I join Steve and Sarah in the Schooner bar with another two younger ladies and two gents, whose names I obviously can no longer remember (I can't remember names even when sober, which most certainly was not the case this evening). Reports that I rock-and-roll danced with the three women in front of the piano in the Schooner Bar remain unverified.

 

Loaded on strawberry bellini's, I duck up to the pool deck, where there's a live feed of the Sydney fireworks at 11pm (the ship is currently on Queensland time, which is one hour later).

 

 

That bridge seems familiar...

 

Then back down to the Schooner Bar, where more strawberry bellini's are consumed until it's time to go to the Centrum, where Captain Rob counts down to the New Year and balloon drop.

 

 

[AussieLad]

Day Four

At Sea: New Year's Eve

(continued)

 

 

 

 

After the main party, it's time to go to the Viking Crown Lounge, which is well populated by many who wish to bring in the New Year loudly and into the wee hours.

 

 

It is here, fuelled by far too much wine and other ethanol-based liquids, that I do something that I have never done before. I, hater of nightclubs, of my full and free will, absent of peer or any other kind of pressure... dance on my own.

 

Somewhere, in the haze of inebriation, the lights, the sounds, and the emotions, it all just clicks, and I, suited up and wielding my Royal Caribbean-issued celebratory plastic top hat, get down on the dance floor.

 

Still, not all good things last forever, and rue the bastard that decided I needed to be ready for my excursion tomorrow at 7.50am. I could have whiled away the early hours, but best to leave while still on a high.

 

When I get back, this fellow is waiting for me.

 

 

New Year's Eve 2013 ends (mostly) a success. However, the festivities are cut short due to some bastard's malicious timetabling of ports. Will AussieLad make it off the boat for Airlie Beach, or will his hangover force him to stay aboard? Tune in next time.

[AussieLad]

Day Five

Airlie Beach

 

Somehow I have managed to avoid a hangover, but that does not mean that I have slept particularly long or well, and it is with much regret that I remember filling in my breakfast room service form the night before to force me to get up in time to get ready for my excursion.

 

Breakfast this morning is a stack of bacon, white toast, and cereal (tip: $2), but I'm still feeling the strawberry bellini's from last night and only pick at it as I'm preparing for the day.

 

Today I will be doing the tropical rainforest and countryside excursion. I have chosen to avoid the popular Great Barrier Reef tours in Airlie Beach and Cairns on the basis that they're likely to be very busy and as a result while snorkelling I'm more likely to see other people's feet than I am to see fish or coral - the Great Barrier Reef seems to be something that deserves a dedicated trip, not just a side activity. It's only as I head to the theatre to meet the rest of my tour group that it occurs to me that the Great Barrier Reef tours would have been a magnificent opportunity to look for the elusive young solo ladies. The fact that they would likely be clad in little has nothing to add to the regret for this lost opportunity, I assure you.

 

Airlie Beach is a tender port, and the tender process goes relatively smoothly. After a short wait at the pier, we are met by our tour guide Steve, and herded into a tour minibus for the trip to the rainforest.

 

 

Steve is both knowledgeable and passionate about the rainforest, and it shows. Several decades of operating tours and working for the national parks has clearly left it's impression and we learn during our tour that while he reaches retirement age on Friday, he has no intention on stopping now. He also has that capacity welcome in tour guides to also be able to make fun of himself and the subject matter.

 

 

Of all the places to go, the rainforest is not the worst place to be today, with the canopy keeping the heat down to comfortable levels (out in the sun is a different matter). We were to have our lunch of fruit and make-your-own sandwiches by the beach, but at risk of it being packed due to New Year's, we decide to eat by the rainforest.

 

 

We then head to Conway beach, which proves to be deserted, a recurring joke for the rest of the tour.

 

 

A short stop in the town of Airlie Beach itself, and time to get back on board.

 

 

Yes, that's our Rhapsody off in the distance.

 

 

The only down side to the tour was one couple who was on the trip who for some reason felt the need to complain about everything that had happened on the cruise up until this point - the main dining room meals aren't big enough, there's not enough amenities, they don't get to swim for as long as they wanted, etc etc etc. Some people just live to complain - I swear as Steve was telling us about the cyclone that went through Airlie Beach a few years ago the husband showed a kind of fascinated glee at all the bad things that went wrong. I can quote him as saying "We'll never go on this cruise line again, Princess was much better" - please make it so, the experience for the rest of us will be richer without you.

 

When we return to the pier, there seems to be a bit of anarchy - only two tender boats are operating for some reason, and the queue is long. It takes at least an hour to get on board one of the tenders, by which point I just want to get on board and collapse. We're confused in line as to why there are only two ships operating, as others have cruised with Royal and other lines noted that there's usually more (including Royal's lifeboats). We suspect that there may be some arrangement which needed to be made to the effect that Royal must use local providers in order to service Airlie Beach.

[AussieLad]

Day Five

Airlie Beach

(continued)

 

Once on board, it's straight to my room. This evening is (thankfully) relatively quiet in terms of activities until late and, not being interested in the possibility of waiting in line for an hour at the main dining room only to be seated alone again, I decide to have a quiet night in courtesy of room service.

 

This evening is a Mediterranean Caesar salad, beef burger (partial assembly required), and raspberry cheesecake.

 

 

 

 

The plan was to head out later for the late movie and the Love and Marriage game show, but the lure of my bed (since I'm already there) proves too appealing, and I decide to catch the show on the TV when it repeats and turn in for the night.

 

New Year's Day goes well, but the previous evening's libations and the trek of the day overwhelmed AussieLad before his time. How far will Cairns, and the scheduled 7-hour trek through the rainforest hunting for Platypuses, tax our hero's endurance? Will the main dining room ever make an appearance? And where are them young solo women at? Tune in next time.

[GMoney]

Thanks for your review. It's very interesting to hear about something other than the Caribbean. I can't believe you skipped snorkeling at GBR; it's just an amazing place. I guess when you don't have to travel 19 hours by air to get there though it's easier to pass up. :)

[Babymoon12]

Loving this review! You have a way with words!

 

We'll be on Rhapsody in December this year. Glad to hear your comments and really appreciate the details and pics.

 

*Wave* from my air conditioned house in Cairns! Sorry about the heat (according to our local paper, tourists are all complaining about the heat to which I say do your homework before booking people and/or dress and act accordingly)! At least it's not raining! :D

[aussielozzie18]

Great review. We had my time dining and being first time cruisers, I thought dining was flexible and we could just "rock up" without a reservation. So, on the first formal night aboard the Rhapsody (Day 2, I think) we rocked up to the MDR at 6pm and asked for a table for three of us. We were told that the first available table would be at 8.45pm. I was not happy Jan. Teens could not wait that long. Ended up having dinner in our formal gear in the Windjammer. I made sure we booked a table from then onwards.

[charliegirlac]

Eagerly awaiting day 6 :)

[debshomespun]

Thanks so much for your review. Love reading all about your adventures! We are looking at doing this same cruise next February (2015)! How about you post a picture of yourself?

[wombie]

Loving your blog. We are cruising on Rhapsody when you return next Sunday. Did the ship change to Queensland time when you were in Brisbane? Last time I did a 5 nighter, we stayed on NSW time. Need to meet up with a friend in Brisbane.

[AussieLad]

Day Six

Cairns

 

We don't arrive in Cairns until 10am, so I have ample time this morning to wake up late and have a leisurely breakfast in Windjammer and take care of a few things (like updating the Cruise Critic report).

 

Today I am off on the Atherton Platypus Experience, a day-long trek throughout the region. We meet our bus driver / tour guide, Glenn "Coops" Cooper, and twenty-two of us depart for the first stop, a waterfall about an hour away.

 

 

 

 

 

[AussieLad]

Day Six

Cairns

(continued)

 

Throughout the day we visit various rainforest locations (much the same as we had with Steve yesterday), take a brief "canopy walk" (walk on raised platforms on the same level as the rainforest canopy), have lunch at a dairy (which ironically included few of the products you would expect at a dairy, e.g. milk and cheese), and finish the day with a brief swim at a "hole in the ground" which proves to be an enormous crater lake fed solely by rainwater and incurring water loss solely through evaporation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The tour isn't too bad. On the bad side, the "Atherton Platypus Experience" neither visited Atheton nor seriously attempted to find any platypuses. It also consisted of relatively brief stops followed by long periods of driving to the next stop, which was both disappointing in terms of viewing time and hard on the body alternating between tropical and air conditioned environments. On the other hand, it's just a reality that a lot of stuff is spread out, and Coops was knowledgeable and entertaining (it wasn't his fault the itinerary he had to follow was so tight, but he and we made the best of it).

 

Something I do hate, though, is the people that feel the need to complain about things. Look, you're on holiday. Complaining about things to yourselves and those around you won't change anything. Either complain to someone who can do something about it, or keep your mouth shut so that the rest of us don't have to listen to your rubbish.

 

We make it back to the ship at 7pm, and I decide to skip the show for the evening (a hypnotist - Shane St. James) and go straight to the main dining room which, in a complete turnaround from New Year's Eve, sees me seated immediately - alone, but next to a nice couple, Gary and Sally. Incidentally, I'm seated at the same table (39, for those of you playing at home) as I did on the first day with Adrian et al.

 

On seeing my alone-ness, Sally seems to immediately make it her mission to hook me up, whether on the boat or otherwise. Not five minutes after sitting down, she's showing me photos of her ("18 years old, isn't she pretty!") daughter and ("She's 25 too, and she's in Brisbane!") niece.

 

I honestly forget what was for dinner this evening, the table talk was entertaining enough to distract me from paying attention. I do remember that dessert was a bit overwhelming, as Julius and Stephen insisted on bringing us a number of additional desserts (on top of those that we had ordered) and we were swimming in sweets.

 

During dinner, Sally makes plans for me to join them the night after next (I'm unavailable tomorrow night as I'm doing Chef's Table), as she's remembered that a mother and (young adult) daughter usually sit with them on the table that I'm currently on - it's only because Gary and Sally are eating later and I'm eating earlier than usual that they happen not to be there tonight. Sally calls Julius over to make the plans. She seems determined to get a girl hooked on my arm one way or another, and now she's even roping the wait staff in to assist...

 

After dinner, I spend some time in the Solarium making some phone calls while still enjoying mobile reception, reading, and enjoying the peace and the lights of Cairns as we prepare to sail away. After a few drinks at the Schooner Bar, I call it a day.

 

Tomorrow is the first day of a block of sea days. Will AussieLad go stir crazy while beyond the range of mobile data? Will he bankrupt RCI and suffer alcohol poisoning due to wanton abuse of his drinks package? And what will Sally's machinations bring? Tune in next time.

[AussieLad]

Day Seven

At Sea

 

Today is a truly magnificent day as we travel through the Great Barrier Reef. The sky is clear and the sea couldn't possibly get any bluer.

 

 

 

I had fully intended to wake up early this morning, but the lure of bed keeps me in and I miss my initially planned first event of the day, an enrichment lecture on waterway navigation (I'll live). I decide to forego breakfast and get my vitamins from a Bloody Mary courtesy of Jose in the Schooner Bar, and head off to morning trivia. It's not progressive trivia, but I still join Dean, Mary (ha), Nikita and Paul to make a sterling, but ultimately unsuccessful, effort.

 

After trivia, drinks with Steve and Sarah at the Schooner Bar ensue, followed by the early afternoon movie - RIPD. I manage to make it through the whole movie, but Steve and Sarah bail early.

 

(On at the same time as the movie was the World's Sexiest Man competition on the pool deck - I considered going to take some snapshots for the Cruise Critic crowd, but decided that the idea of watching men pose in swimming gear wasn't that interesting. Your mileage may vary).

 

After the movie I take the time to head up to the Park Cafe and try two offerings I haven't before: pulled pork roll with rice and beans, and ham and brie baguette. I approve of both.

 

 

 

Once I have finished gorging it is, yes, yet more drinks at the Schooner Bar.

 

Tonight there are a great many things on. The comedian Ian McLaren is the headliner performer, there's the Welcome Back party for C&A members, and late in the evening is the 70's Disco Inferno Party. Sadly (or maybe not so sadly) I'm going to miss most of this, because I'm doing Chef's Table.

 

Chef's Table starts with a glass of champagne at the R Bar, before we are led to the small Chef's Table room off the main dining room on deck 4. The room is decked out to be elegant and intimate, with only room for around 14 people on the table (we have 12 tonight). I'm on one of the end's this evening (an advantage, as I end up being at the end that the chef and waiter speak), and so my conversation companions for most of the evening are Luke, Dani, Steve and Clare.

 

At Chef's Table, our chef (Deddy Ramaria) introduces each of the five courses by explaining the ingredients and the preparation of the dish. Many of the dishes are intricate, requiring 24 hours or more of semi-constant monitoring (e.g. the salmon requires checking every four hours for a 24-hour period before it is ready to be prepared further). The chef's explanation is then followed by our waiter and sommelier (Ronny) explaining the wine which has been paired with that dish and its characteristics.

 

Chef's Table is a bit over the top for me, as I'm not a big wine drinker, but I find that this is one of those occasions where sipping the wine and taking a bite of the dish changes the flavour of the dish compared to on its own. For example, the tomato soup was tart and a bit sour on its own, but after a sip of the wine, it became smooth and creamy.

 

Unfortunately, I don't have photos of all of the dishes, but I have some.

 

First dish: Spinach and ricotta blini with graved Lax and smoked halibut

Pairing: Allan Scott, Marlborough, New Zealand

 

[AussieLad]

Day Seven

At Sea

(continued)

 

Second dish: Soup Trio of sunchoke cream, asparagus consomme, and tomato soup with basil foam.

Pairing: Penfolds Koonunga Hills, Australia

 

Third dish: Miso brushed barramundi with sauteed baby corn, bok choy, parsnip puree, candied Meyers lemon and carrot buerre blanc

Pairing: Belle Glos Pinot Noir Rose, California

 

Fourth dish: Pink Roasted Beef Tenderloin (medium rare) with black truffle spaetzle, asparagus, yellow baby carrots and port wine reductionm

Pairing: Oberon Cabernet Sauvignon, Nappa County

 

 

Dessert: Orange Crunch Parfait with mascapone fruit zabaglione

Pairing: Disaronno, Italy

 

 

All of which is then followed up by a small chocolate/dessert share plate.

 

 

The whole experience takes around 3.5 hours, giving you plenty of time to linger and enjoy the meal. At the end of the meal, each diner is presented with the Royal Caribbean cookbook and a Chef's Table apron.

 

After Chef's Table, I manage to catch the second half of the Disco party. The Village People are visiting.

 

 

 

Ken the cruise director doesn't seem to have any problems getting the girls.

 

 

I have to admit, though, in my heart of hearts, I miss Joff Eaton in his Saturday Night Fever suit.

 

I had planned on staying out later, but stuffed and content from Chef's Table, I retire around midnight.

 

The first sea day has been survived. Of course, day two, sandwiched between two sea days, could be the toughest. And, of course, it's the night to follow up on Sally's plans from yesterday. Tune in tomorrow...

[AussieLad]

Day Eight

At Sea

 

As always, good intentions of rising early are sacrificed in the name of sleep, and I skip the morning lecture (Vila & Lifou) and head straight for Progressive Trivia Day 2, where my team was in first place until another team was awarded random points for having a "better" team name. Bastards. Still, a good showing is made.

 

Then on to Jamie's Great Debate on life beyond the stars. The "great" debates have been kind of disappointing, I think because there haven't been any topics which people have had spirited opinions on.

 

The Royal Caribbean Story: Part 2 is on at lunchtime, and off I go. I saw Part 1 on Independence in 2012, but there has never been a Part 2 on offer until now. Of course, a lot of it is RCI propaganda, but it's still a fun enough history lesson for people interested in that sort of thing.

 

The plan had been to watch The Hunger Games this afternoon, but I decide to skip it and have a lazy afternoon of reading and nanny naps again. Yeah, okay, so I might actually be OLD.

 

As I arrive to prepare for the evening, this fellow is waiting for me.

 

 

Tonight, if you remember, is the night Sally has roped me into joining her and Gary again to meet new people, and tonight we are joined by mother/daughter Fiona and Tara, both of whom are fun (I believe I've seen Tara in Viking Crown before). Two more now-familiar faces, one of whom is young! And female! Not solo, but we can't have everything I suppose. It's even formal night, so I've been able to glamour up. As much as it can be said that I ever glamour up, anyway.

 

After dinner, it's of course time for the Schooner Bar for an after dinner cognac or three. While I'm there, Steve and Sarah arrive and almost succeed in the cartoon themes trivia, being knocked out in the five-way tiebreaker.

 

Off to the show - the late show this evening, which, as the cruise compass advised, is far more crowded than the early show that I usually go to. We're finally getting a chance to see the Royal Caribbean Singers & Dancers tonight, performing Piano Man, which Sarah tells me later is a "standard" performance which is also performed on Celebrity ships, but it's still enjoyable to me.

 

There's a Black and White Ball with big band music in the Shall We Dance Lounge this evening after the show, but we decide to skip it given the hordes of crowds heading for (and subsequently quickly leaving). We instead enjoy more drinks at the Schooner Bar before going to the late night comedy of Ian McLaren.

 

Any show which has this disclaimer shows promise.

 

 

While we're waiting, I manage to snap a photo of Sarah and Steve for you friendly people.

 

 

The comedy show has many laughs, and I'm told it is far better to the performance he gave earlier in the cruise (which I didn't go to) - in the absence of kids, he didn't have to pull his punches.

 

After the comedy it's time to hit the nightclub.

 

 

 

 

I don't like to brag, but I may have, in fact, moved like Jagger.

 

An hour or so of partying it up to disco music (with people, even!) and sleep calls.

 

One more day at sea and then Rhapsody arrives at its island destinations in quick succession. Is AussieLad ready for that kind of commitment? Speaking of commitment, with half the cruise now gone, are the opportunities for female companionship lost? And when will AussieLad get around to the specialty restaurants? Tune in next time.