ok...so please do read this

[geomagot]

ok so all this talk of social media/technology dillemas and how our lives have changed/are being controlled (without us even noticing)....got me thinkin ....makes you want to spit/cry/wink at girls in the pub (opps sorry not that last one!) :o

 

my fridge...ok it is a fridge it keeps things reasonably cool as a fridge should (like my shreddies...but let us not go there right now) but it should stop at keeping things cool, this fridge has a digital face inside the door..... that smiles at me when I open it (sometimes nods dunno why it does that?) it tells me that if i take that yoghurt out i will get fat! i will get fat even if i had intended to feed it to the cat....i will still get fat....I hate you fridge face....I am going to feed you chocolate and see how you like it....and...since you know so much about my body composition....can you work how many calories are in those shreddies...ok...I dont really want to know

 

my phone speaks to me in a female voice.....it constantly asks 'what would you like to dooooo'....'look here you phone...er...I mean madam/miss/ms'....'I am a man i do not listen to female voices you should know that? you are a female arent you? have you not read that venus & mars book? men dont listen!' now if you had the voice of ozzy osborne I would listen to you

 

'what would you like to doooo'....I would like to throw you in the river, actually, since you asked 'calling the riverrr'...what? 'the river is not available right now would you like to call the river back later or leave a message and the river will get straight back to you'....splash

 

meanwhile mrs m is outside fixing the fallen guttering....hmmm perhaps there is an app for that.....design your own wife...hmmm maybe there is?....lets have a little looky....opps! lets move on

 

in my day you were woken up by a clock with a big bell on it which you had to throw across the room in order to turn it off :cool: ....these days alarm clocks come with zillions of different tunes and functions and numbers thatyou can hardly see.....so you spend hours picking a tune that you think may wake you up....hmm will it be ...dream a little dream of me....wake up maggie...its raining men? nope i think I will just have a beep

 

now to set the time zone...now then? where do i live.....ah I know its england....england is not on the list?? everywhere else is, even azerbajain but not england....so where in the world has the same time as me....I dunno?...lets choose any place…set… next function, the weather, please set your nearest weather station....I chose the top of mount kilimanjaro.....I think its nearby...set... now to chose the colour of the screen....hmm difficult blue? red? hyacinth? what matches my eyes...set... about 20 functions later I gave up and went to talk to fridge face

 

beep beep beep beep!...I am woken at some ungodly hour by my phone beeping....no its not the phone....my car keys then...nope....ipad...no...

 

I get out of bed is it fridge face....omg! fridge face what is wrong are you unwell? please dont leave me now, you are my only friend.....nope....not the fridge, fridge face is fine…phew....the cat flap? no....what is beeping...is it the fire alarm...no...ahh...the door bell?...nope...where is that infernal beeping coming from....oh its that damb new hyacinth alarm clock....but where did I put it....ah there it is...in the automatic bin that emails you when it is full.... alongside the remote controlled potato peeler.....grrrrrr

 

:D:D

[Tina.w12]

Love it!!!!!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums mobile app

[Langtoncouple]

This is so amusing, thanks for this.

[kalos]

Great stuff Geo ... Just what we needed :D

 

Keeps the peeps happy on these cold nights .

 

This fridge of yours ... Mmmmm do you think its been hacked ?

 

Sounds a very high tech fridge -faced thingy type fridge to me .

 

I read about a fridge like yours only the other day .....

 

Cyber-criminals-hack-REFRIGERATOR :eek: No honest read the link and then check your fridge for Spam ... and should

 

you find any Spam please do'nt send any to my fridge as I'm not to keen on the stuff .

 

Years ago Mrs Kalos thought I may have liked the stuff on sandwiches ,fried at breakfast any way she could try to get me to eat it :(.

 

She once went to the now defunct Netto and bought a tin for me and no sooner had I tasted it I spit the stuff out .

 

"What the hell was that ?"

 

Spam & Strawberries ... she replied

 

"Urghh !What you bought that for ?" I asked

 

Four pence she said with a smile :D

[Little Nell]

Brilliant Geo and Kalos :D:D:D

[happy v]

You two are crackers, and one of the reasons I like this forum.;):D

[kruzseeka]

You do make me smile! :D

Edited January 22, 2014 by kruzseeka

[kalos]

Had my fridge checked out and the good news is ..

 

It Has Not Got A Virus !

 

Just a slight Chill :rolleyes:

[Dartmoordan]

That made me giggle, if my Fridge starts telling me how many calories are in my food I'm leaving home :):)