What rules do you give your teenagers

[Psycopuppy]

I had an agreement with all my kids and it worked well until yesterday morning when I opened the adjoining room door to discover my DD and her friend were not in the cabin and beds haven't been slept in. A cold sweat, panic and terror ran though my mind as well as every possible worst-case scenario. A quick search of all the topside spaces and restaurants turned up nothing. Customer service was helpful and security was on top of the issue. I was frantically dialing both of their cell numbers and just as they were about to stop the ship and make an announcement as we were pulling into port, they finally answered and casually said they were headed to breakfast with friends. So while rules work, sometimes the mind of a 16yo just doesn't register all the facts. I was so mad I didn't even talk to her the entire 5 hour drive home. As her reward, I cancelled her appointment to take her driver's test on Friday. She can continue to walk for the rest of the summer.

[Adayatatime]

Travel R, what are "brain dead" adults?

 

Re: not going into other people's cabins, for me, it's not just trying to thwart typical teen temptations or the fear of horrific crime. It's all about the adults who might be behind that door and a particular teen's maturity and confidence to handle unexpected adult behaviors that could go from awkward to really bad in a matter of minutes. Back home, parents and kids possess first-hand experience and spidey sense about such things; on a cruise, there's little to no time or opportunity to gauge that sort of thing. So yeah, I would have a "no cabin" rule for most 14yos because who knows if the dad in that other room is one of those who hits on his daughter's friends when daughter is in the bathroom or the mom is all about helping kids get loaded because she thinks it's okay to extend the "it's better to teach them at home" rule to other people's kids.

 

 

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Yikes :eek:

 

Most people are good. At some point we are all in vulnerable situations. Even as adults. Wouldn't be lulled into thinking we know someone, that's the biggest mistake.

[Teeceefamily]

Thank you for all your replies, some really good points and tips that have been shared and are really useful.

Sorry to those that sighed at another teen behavior thread its coming up to that time of year and for some of us its new.

 

My teenager and I have read through them all together and discussed what is right for us most of it doesn't even need to be said, as other's have said this isn't just for holidays certain behaviors are expected anyway, we are lucky she has a very sensible head on her shoulders.

She laughed at the don't throw a deck chair over board then turned to me and said really would someone do that lol

The no visit to other staterooms or in our stateroom is top and the meeting points through out the day and we will eat together each evening unless there is a teen event planned prior.

My daughter wouldn't be embarrassed to be met at the teen room at the end of the evening, but I know that could change over the summer, I always seemed to do most of my growing up over the summer holidays yes I do remember being a teen ;)

Thank you all the teen's that posted love hearing your side of things I especially liked the parents are rather predictable made me laugh and agree.

One question can you call your stateroom and leave a message that's really useful to know and we will use the post it notes.

[crvng4mr]

Thank you for all your replies, some really good points and tips that have been shared and are really useful.

Sorry to those that sighed at another teen behavior thread its coming up to that time of year and for some of us its new.

 

My teenager and I have read through them all together and discussed what is right for us most of it doesn't even need to be said, as other's have said this isn't just for holidays certain behaviors are expected anyway, we are lucky she has a very sensible head on her shoulders.

She laughed at the don't throw a deck chair over board then turned to me and said really would someone do that lol

The no visit to other staterooms or in our stateroom is top and the meeting points through out the day and we will eat together each evening unless there is a teen event planned prior.

My daughter wouldn't be embarrassed to be met at the teen room at the end of the evening, but I know that could change over the summer, I always seemed to do most of my growing up over the summer holidays yes I do remember being a teen ;)

Thank you all the teen's that posted love hearing your side of things I especially liked the parents are rather predictable made me laugh and agree.

One question can you call your stateroom and leave a message that's really useful to know and we will use the post it notes.

Yes you can call the stateroom and leave a message.

[reallyitsmema]

Tell your teen that throwing deck chairs has happened and trash cans too. Check out youtube and you can find all sorts of videos of stuff being thrown off ships. There was also a video of tweens with spiders on fishing line that they dangled from balconies in the centrum. They tried to have them land on people's heads.

[Artemis]

OP, your daughter sounds delightful! You "done good." Have a fab cruise!

 

Adayatattime, by nature, I am naiive and think everyone's "good people!" I'm not a worrier, I don't anticipate bad stuff and, when it comes to my kids, I'm pretty non-helicopter. It's just that through work and life experience, I have learned that sometimes, there are things that go on behind closed doors that are surprising (to me!) and way beyond my comfort zone. So I figure, why create a situation where a young person might not be able to react like you and I would. It is easier to simply get buy-in on a rule that really doesn't have to impact teen fun one bit! I hope that helps?!

 

 

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[dancinman66]

Mostly I control curfew time and certain acceptable and unacceptable behaviors

 

Insist in some dinners at least together

Keep in touch with what they are doing

And restrict

Money in their card

 

Keep casual

Works well and they have fun

Greg

 

 

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[Adayatatime]

OP, your daughter sounds delightful! You "done good." Have a fab cruise!

 

Adayatattime, by nature, I am naiive and think everyone's "good people!" I'm not a worrier, I don't anticipate bad stuff and, when it comes to my kids, I'm pretty non-helicopter. It's just that through work and life experience, I have learned that sometimes, there are things that go on behind closed doors that are surprising (to me!) and way beyond my comfort zone. So I figure, why create a situation where a young person might not be able to react like you and I would. It is easier to simply get buy-in on a rule that really doesn't have to impact teen fun one bit! I hope that helps?!

 

 

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I think we are all on the same page really. My OH trusts no one, I am very trusting and naive, so between us we work it out in the end :D. I'm struggling with the 15-17 year group as DD will turn 15 on the cruise so I suppose I'm being ultra careful to and have told her she is to stay with 12-14 if possible (well at least to try this first).

Edited July 15, 2014 by Adayatatime

[Adayatatime]

Mostly I control curfew time and certain acceptable and unacceptable behaviors

 

Insist in some dinners at least together

Keep in touch with what they are doing

And restrict

Money in their card

 

Keep casual

Works well and they have fun

Greg

 

 

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The dinner thing. I started saying dinner every night. I think in the end she ate twice with us at night. Still, I suppose you can eat 24/7 and I'm sure we had pizza together :D

 

And the odd coffee break in port somewhere where she could get wifi :rolleyes:

[Artemis]

Ad, have a great trip, and good luck with keeping her in the 12-14 <wink>!

 

 

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[Lib0007]

We just sailed on the Allure with our 15 yo son. He made a huge group of friends the first night and hung with them all week. He checked in with us pretty often and we would run into them around the ship, mostly stayed in the teen room and around the pool but would wander around on the promenade deck for pizza, etc.

 

I was surprised that the curfew was 2 am instead of 1. He didn't do that many of the activities except maybe a dance or two, but he did eat dinner with us every night except one when he ate at Johnny Rockets with his friends.

 

All in all, I thought the kids were pretty well behaved on this cruise . . . and there were tons of them.

[pfm18]

One thing you parents should know, there is always ****ing involving the teens on a cruise ship. I'm not saying all of them (I certainly haven't) but on every cruise I've been on at least a few of my friends have, erm, got lucky.

[DCT61]

YEAH.....but not OURS!!! <sticking fingers in ears...LALALALALALALALAL>

[Adayatatime]

YEAH.....but not OURS!!! <sticking fingers in ears...LALALALALALALALAL>

 

I know that tune too :D