PHOTO REVIEW of my maiden voyage on the FREEDOM! Food porn, people!

[ProfCruise]

St. Kitts

 

This was my least favorite port mostly because my mom made me take a morning nap and I missed my excursion (because SURELY she would have scheduled an excursion for a port where there is basically nothing to do in the direct vicinity of the big boat).

 

My grandma didn’t feel right going on the excursion without me, so she killed time until her buddy woke up by visiting a little museum right outside the port area. It was pretty modest, but worth the $3 price of admission.

 

After I woke up, mommy and I ignored all warnings to “stay in the tourist areas” and wandered around the town. We found a little park with flowers and acorn-like things to collect (mom’s still finding those treasures in the bottom of her bag). It also had a sign I couldn’t read (I know my ABC’s like a champ, but my mom forgot to get me on the daycare list before I was born, so I can’t quite read yet). Mom tells me it had some interesting (and horrifying) information about the history of slavery on the island. Someday mommy will have to explain to me, with a tear in her eye and a lump in her throat, what slavery is. On that day, I’ll lose a little bit of my innocence and have lots of questions she can’t answer. Until then, I’ll continue to believe every human being on earth is nothing but goodness and high fives, collect acorns, and get up in arms over running out of cheese.

 

One thing my mom DOES know, there is a lot of pain in the world. And a lot of beauty too.

 

 

 

[ProfCruise]

Thank you, H, for another delightful chapter!

 

"Delightful." I see what you did there. Also, I'm free on March 25th, April 3rd, October 3rd, and I can pencil you in for January of '16. Just sayin. :D

[Delta Dear]

I love your review. My husband and I were on board with you so we shared a few of the same experiences. I'm writing my review which I'll post in a few days. It will be quite a contrast because my review will be based on eyes that are 70 years older than yours. It will just go to prove that life is full of new experiences no matter how young or how old you are as long as you are ready, willing and able to get out there to enjoy them.

 

I'm looking forward to reading more. If I had seen you on the ship, I would have loved to give you a big High FIVE !! So, hit the screen when you see this picture and we can have a virtual HIGH FIVE right here and now. (Please clear the pudding, yogurt or peanut butter off of your hands before you hit the screen of your mommy's device.) Face selfies are hard enough but a high five hand selfie is really a challenge !

 

[ProfCruise]

I love your review. My husband and I were on board with you so we shared a few of the same experiences. I'm writing my review which I'll post in a few days. It will be quite a contrast because my review will be based on eyes that are 70 years older than yours. It will just go to prove that life is full of new experiences no matter how young or how old you are as long as you are ready, willing and able to get out there to enjoy them.

 

I'm looking forward to reading more. If I had seen you on the ship, I would have loved to give you a big High FIVE !! So, hit the screen when you see this picture and we can have a virtual HIGH FIVE right here and now. (Please clear the pudding, yogurt or peanut butter off of your hands before you hit the screen of your mommy's device.) Face selfies are hard enough but a high five hand selfie is really a challenge !

 

 

High FIVE! If I had seen you on our big boat I would have yelled, "THERE'S A FRIEND!" BTW, when I told my mom I was high fiving someone named Delta Dear who was on the big boat with us, she looked like a tween at a One Direction concert. DELTA DEAR?!?! *faint* I guess she's a fan of your reviews. Turn around and walk away slowly before she tries to take your photo. But seriously, we can't wait to read your review!!! :D

[loubetti]

A very nice review, and you got me really hungry!

 

However, please don't call them "noodles", as you have an Italian captain on board.

 

It's called PASTA! :D

 

You get "noodles" at a Chinese restaurant, Italians have pasta, and in more varieties than I can count!

[hlb76]

cant wait for more

[Delta Dear]

High FIVE! If I had seen you on our big boat I would have yelled, "THERE'S A FRIEND!" BTW, when I told my mom I was high fiving someone named Delta Dear who was on the big boat with us, she looked like a tween at a One Direction concert. DELTA DEAR?!?! *faint* I guess she's a fan of your reviews. Turn around and walk away slowly before she tries to take your photo. But seriously, we can't wait to read your review!!! :D

 

LOL, I had a big laugh about a teen/ One Direction concert because treating my teen granddaughter to a ticket for their concert last year was a BIG treat for her. No, I did not take her. Her friend's mom did. I'm not crazy !

 

What's your mom's CC name ? I'll put a shout out to her in my review.

[ProfCruise]

LOL, I had a big laugh about a teen/ One Direction concert because treating my teen granddaughter to a ticket for their concert last year was a BIG treat for her. No, I did not take her. Her friend's mom did. I'm not crazy !

 

What's your mom's CC name ? I'll put a shout out to her in my review.

 

She's ProfCruise! OMG, OMG, OMG! She's, like, SO excited. :D

[ProfCruise]

A very nice review, and you got me really hungry!

 

However, please don't call them "noodles", as you have an Italian captain on board.

 

It's called PASTA! :D

 

You get "noodles" at a Chinese restaurant, Italians have pasta, and in more varieties than I can count!

 

You got it, Lou. Pasta all the way! High five! :D Now, let's dish us up a plate!

[ProfCruise]

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

 

The Good

 

Service. If I ranked this vacation based on the number of high fives I got from the big boat crew, it would get, like, 40,000 stars. It’s like they had never seen a miniature person before and wanted to slap my hand to see if I was real.

 

I’m two, so I’m accustomed and entitled to very good and prompt service (NO BEET BALLS MAMA, CAKE!!!), but even I have to say that the service was top-notch. In summary, I work hard for my money (I throw my own diapers in the trash, people), so you better treat me right (those should be song lyrics). And you did.

 

Value. Eight days of all-you-can-eat cheese and orange sherbet for 3 people for 2 grand? That, my friends, is a good value. It’s happened. I’ve become my mother.

 

And this.

 

 

 

And this.

 

 

 

And This. Delightful (sigh).

 

 

The Bad

 

Muster drill. I’ve seen Titanic and still, I’d rather drown. Don’t call me dramatic. I’M NOT DRAMATIC. NOOOOO, WAAAAAAA, SIEOWIENFOEWNIF, *#*$#*@*$#*@#$!!!!!!!!! Also, I immediately went back to our stateroom and cut off that horrible identification bracelet they put on me. What makes you think I even want to find my mom in the event of an emergency? Put me on the lifeboat with Art and Florin!

 

“Special bed.” When I walked into our stateroom there was one big bed in the middle of the room and a smaller bed along the wall. I figured, great, mine must be the big one and mom and grandma will share the smaller one. Then mom asked Randy to separate the big bed into two smaller ones and requested a crib from guest services. I started getting a little nervous at this point. It gets worse, people. Before I could even unpack my “Handy Manny” suitcase, mom starts rigging up some medieval torture device with magnetic hooks on the ceiling attached to a shower curtain. She called it my “special bed.” Special my ***. I couldn’t see anything, so the only thing to do in there was SLEEP. I feel like there must be some sort of training camp at the hospital where new moms learn about how to make our lives miserable. In this case it was another evil mom on CC who gave mine the idea.

 

**This is H’s mom. Mind if I interrupt for a second? H and I disagree on where to file this one. I’d put it under “BEST EVER.” Thank you to the genius mom who first thought of this. Back to your regularly scheduled review.**

 

The balcony. Mom and grandma totally hogged it. I want to sit out there and dream about my life before kids too!

 

**Me again. BEST. EVER.**

 

 

And the Ugly

 

Way worse than losing your trunks in front of two big boats full of people? Sharing a stateroom with two elderly women. They woke me up every time they had to pee and kept blaming their smells on my diaper. Bring a bungee-cord to prop that balcony door open, people.

 

In Conclusion…

 

Even though I could never figure out how to sneak out of my “special bed” to hit the clubs, we had a fantastic vacation. But there is one thing that would have made it even better – if my Grandpa had been there. He passed away from Multiple Myeloma four years ago today. I never got to meet him, but my mommy tells me he was the kindest, most generous, hard working, devoted to his family, funny guy in the wide world. Plus, he was an amazing storyteller (I must get it from him). In honor of grandpa, please squeeze your loved ones a little tighter today, tell a great story, make someone laugh, and try to be a little kinder. We’re all on this big boat together, people.

 

 

Thanks for reading (wait, it had puppies, babies, and apple pie, you should be thanking ME) and stay tuned for my second installment coming in March: “H Goes Booze Cruising on the Sensation.”

 

 

[Mtn2Sea]

Great review! Thanks H for taking the time to write such a fun report.

[ProfCruise]

Great review! Thanks H for taking the time to write such a fun report.

 

You got it, Robert! Happy (dreaming about) cruising. I hope there's a real one in your future soon!

[niccikatie]

Awesome review!

 

My Dad has Multiple Myeloma (diagnosed 8/2012, BMT in Feb 2013, and in partial remission), so that pic of your grandparents just killed me. He sounds like an amazing man.

[ProfCruise]

Awesome review!

 

My Dad has Multiple Myeloma (diagnosed 8/2012, BMT in Feb 2013, and in partial remission), so that pic of your grandparents just killed me. He sounds like an amazing man.

 

Thank you, niccikatie. Best, best wishes for your dad and family. Grandpa lived 6 years with MM (with a very good quality of life for much of that), much longer than anticipated in the beginning -- they were/are coming out with new treatments all the time. We're very hopeful it will become a chronic illness instead of a terminal one very soon (if it hasn't already) and that eventually there will be a cure all together.

 

Take care!

[Delta Dear]

She's ProfCruise! OMG, OMG, OMG! She's, like, SO excited. :D

 

DUH, well of course. I forgot that your mom was letting you high jack her screen name. I was thinking for a minute there that it was your grandmother's name I was asking about. Silly me, how could I not know your mom's name.

[Delta Dear]

H, you are such a cutie and a genius. I'm sure your grandfather is smiling down on you and that he was right there on the cruise with you. Even though you never met him, I can tell your mom and your grandmother are making sure that you know him through their words about him.

 

Those anniversaries of when a loved one has left us are tough, but our memories help to ease the pain.

 

Thank you for your totally delightful review. I am going to read it again from start to finish just because.

 

I can't wait for the next review. Happy New Year and Happy Cruising.

Edited December 28, 2014 by Delta Dear

[WestTxCruiser]

Loved your review, your Son is adorable!!!!!!

[ProfCruise]

H, you are such a cutie and a genius. I'm sure your grandfather is smiling down on you and that he was right there on the cruise with you. Even though you never met him, I can tell your mom and your grandmother are making sure that you know him through their words about him.

 

Those anniversaries of when a loved one has left us are tough, but our memories help to ease the pain.

 

Thank you for your totally delightful review. I am going to read it again from start to finish just because.

 

I can't wait for the next review. Happy New Year and Happy Cruising.

 

Thanks for the kind words. I hope we sail together on a big boat again someday. One last high FIVE for the road. :)

[cessnabmw]

Awesome review! Thank you for posting this. We were on the same cruise with you but never got to meet you. We had an amazing time.

 

Sent from my SGH-I337M using Tapatalk 4

[Handsome58]

for a Great Review!!!!!! Wow!! You should write children's books from your son!!!! Great Job!!!!

[JennN]

Ok, officially the best review ever. You had me laughing, crying and even singing (I was singing it even before you said it was a song). Great job!!!! By you both!

[MistyRo76]

Thanks for sharing, H! As someone who is Oct. of this coming year taking her LO on her first cruise, it is great to read a review from the perspective of another first time, toddler cruiser! I hope my daughter has as much fun (and orange sherbet) and you appeared to have had.

 

Misty

[mouche]

Dr. Seuss Breakfast.

 

 

 

These guys have the same names as my mom and grandma.

 

 

My mom HATES Disney. But this almost made her want to take me. Almost. I freakin loved seeing the characters and when the food came out I was like, holy crap, the chef can see into my weird little brain! Everything was fun and yummy. 5 out of 5.

 

 

Waffles.

 

Pancakes.

 

Steak and eggs (Just for you, people. We'll send you the bill for grandma's Weight Watchers).

 

This is too cute, I spit all over my computer on the thing 1 and thing 2 comment. Now be a good little boy and don't call your parents names:D

[Delta Dear]

Is that your grandmother in my photo in Bookville? But, where are YOU ?

 

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

[ProfCruise]

Is that your grandmother in my photo in Bookville? But, where are YOU ?

 

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

 

YES, that's grandma! She looks exhausted -- must be taking a break from chasing me. I was probably half way to the Lido buffet by then, on the hunt for cheese cubes. Also, my mom's back makes an appearance in your photo of Dr. Seuss story time. Man, she should have brushed her hair that day. Can't take her anywhere. So much fun reliving our big boat adventure through your review and photos!