Photo Review: H, a loyal CCL cruiser, tries Breakaway. Puppies! Babies! Applie Pie!

[ProfCruise]

Before I get to Burn the Floor and Rock of Ages, I should mention that one of the things we loved most about the production shows on the Breakaway were the free drinks (ha!). And the live musicians. Or maybe they weren’t alive and it was a “Weekend at Bernie’s” type situation where their limbs were being manipulated by the Second City cast (that was another one of their “not so funny without 6 drinks in you” shticks). Either way, having real (alive or not) people playing (definitely) real instruments was refreshing (versus the piped in music on Carnival). Now (like announced by our cruise director, Dan Dan)…Burn the Floor.

 

Burn the Floor…

is not an argument in favor of NCL’s smoking policy (I realize that was a stretch, but I had to get “smoking policy” in here somewhere to increase the number of hits to my review), but rather a ballroom and Latin dance company we saw perform twice -- once in a full production show in the main show lounge and once in the Manhattan dining room.

 

Those dancers were moving so fast they looked blurrier than mom’s photography (see every photo in this section). Look for ‘H’ and those dancers on next season’s “Dancing with the Stars” (they were that good). That mirror ball trophy will look great next to my “ship on a stick” (see my review of the Carnival Conquest).

 

In the off chance you aren’t entertained by the dozen or so incredibly talented dancers, live band, and vocalist, you might consider sitting at the back of the theater to watch security prevent patrons from taking photographs by shining a laser pointer at them (seriously, watching people try to figure out where that red light was coming from was WAY funnier than the comedy club). Security didn’t even bother with mom, because they knew her photos would more likely end up in a modern art museum with the most common interpretation being “I don’t get it” than turn out to be a recognizable representation of anything that actually happened in that theater.

 

 

 

She snapped those before the show started and while they introduced the Breakaway department heads and the Captain (mom printed this one out, drew a heart around the Captain in red marker, and pasted it to the inside of her locker).

 

And here’s one at the end of the show. I don’t get it.

 

[ProfCruise]

 

Rock of Ages…

 

is a full length musical (having appeared on Broadway) with NO INTERMISSION, so don’t double fist cocktails and sit smack in the middle of a row toward the front (mom, and everyone to the left of and behind her, learned that one the hard way). The production quality and cast were somewhere between a high school version and Broadway (which is to say audience members not related to one of the performers will still enjoy it very, very much, but it’s not quite ready to be nominated for a Tony). Mom loved singing along to the soundtrack of her adolescence and I learned a new word: lapdance (This is to say the show is not appropriate for children unless you want to have “the talk” 10 years earlier than planned. Three weeks later and mom's face is still red.).

 

This show requires a reservation (as did “Burn the Floor). Make one, you’ll love it!

[cssc123]

FYI: Though many pages back, the 'MYSTERY DRINK' you didn't have a name for is most likely a Pain Killer. They were my go-to AM drink since I do not like Bloody Marys at all.

[ProfCruise]

Carla Stickler: From Broadway to Breakaway

 

 

“I guess I’ll take this gig starring in Wicked on Broadway with the hope it will help me land my dream job, performing between bingo and 90’s trivia, on a cruise ship.” Thankfully Carla Stickler’s dream came true and, after many years of experience in various productions on and off Broadway, she found herself singing a solo concert in a half empty auditorium of elderly folks too cheap to pay for Cirque du Soleil, trying not to literally “break a leg” (while swaying back and forth in heals -- rough waters that last sea day).

 

 

When mom wasn’t traveling to and from the bar trying to squeeze every last drop from the UBP and then, 10 minutes later traveling to and from the bathroom (seriously mom, aisle seats are your friend), she really enjoyed the show. For 45 minutes, Ms. Stickler sang a wide variety of songs including Broadway hits, pop songs, and classics. Fortunately she inspired mom to rekindle her dream of Broadway stardom and the next day she quit her job and instructed dad and I to: “leave me in New York, it’s where I’m meant to be.”

 

And dad and I have happily been eating ice cream for dinner ever since.

[clarkg]

La Cucina

 

 

[

 

 

That's all, folks. Next up, ship activities (I assure you that all evidence of mom singling karaoke has been destroyed).

 

Ouch, those aren't good prices. I can remember when Freestyle first came out, La Cucina was a free venue.

[bruadhin]

Ouch, those aren't good prices. I can remember when Freestyle first came out, La Cucina was a free venue.

 

I'm glad I'm not the only one. This will be my first cruise with NCL. These prices seem more appropriate for a land restaurant versus a cruise ship.

[kelkel2]

H!!! I didn't know you and you family were trying out NCL! I am happy to see a review and see that so far you guys are enjoying your cruise. I have always read your reviews on the CCL boards and was happy to find on here too.

We have also jumped ship (pun intended) and cancelled our January 2017 cruise with Carnival, and instead booking the Getaway out of Miami in January.

Our last Carnival cruise just fell short of our expectations and really affirmed our desires to try a new cruise line!

[boopsahoy]

I'm glad I'm not the only one. This will be my first cruise with NCL. These prices seem more appropriate for a land restaurant versus a cruise ship.

 

It used to be a cover charge of $15 for salad appetizer main course sides and dessert-. Ever since they went a la carte I've been saying it was to squeeze more $$ out of us. :(

[clarkg]

It used to be a cover charge of $15 for salad appetizer main course sides and dessert-. Ever since they went a la carte I've been saying it was to squeeze more $$ out of us. :(

 

The first time I ate there it was complimentary. The next time our TA, who was with us on the cruise, paid for it. I will not be going there again unless I get a massive onboard credit that I have to blow through.

[ChristineS72]

Your review is awesome!! Thank you for sharing!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mrs.C05]

I have really enjoyed all of your reviews H! Can't wait til you get to the cruise port days!

[ProfCruise]

Big Hero 6 in 3D

Indulging in the UBP and experiencing a cruise ship communal potty (kiddie pool – stay tuned) were not my only firsts on this trip. I saw my first real movie (well, half movie) in a theater. It would have also been my first 3D movie, but I refused to wear the glasses (you’ll see why in a second).

 

Big Hero 6 was showing in 3D in the main show lounge. We entered the theater and mom was like: “Wow, the service on NCL is top notch – Carnival never would have replaced my missing sunglasses for free!” I sighed and rolled my eyes for the 200th time that day and broke it to her: “Mom, those are your 3D glasses for the movie and you have to give them back when it’s over. “ “Well at least I’ll look super cool for the next 2 hours,” she replied. Not exactly…

 

 

Luckily a fresh batch of popcorn arrived and mom used her quick reflexes (I’ve been training her at mealtimes for 3 years for just such occasions) to snatch me a bag (the only reason I agreed to sit next to her). For some reason, when they pass something out for free on a cruise ship, people grab as many as they can hold (and on Carnival they start stuffing them in their pants). Mark my words, decades from now Montreal is going to experience an epidemic of popcorn lung.

 

Anyway, I enjoyed the movie between bathroom breaks (like mother, like son) until dad got us thrown out for flash photography.

 

 

He said it was an accident, but that was no consolation when I fell and broke my clavicle a week later due to still seeing white spots. If that wasn’t bad enough, it turns out Baymax, the sweet, helpful inflatable healthcare companion from the movie is just pretend (so off to the emergency room I went). The Easter Bunny is real though, right?

[NewEnglandNANA]

Love your review H. You have made me less worried about my 5 year old granddaughter going on her first cruise. Also

Thanks for the warning hopefully she will like kids club and we will keep her away from Burn the floor. Thanks ,Jean

Edited March 25, 2016 by NewEnglandNANA

[Savaann]

Hi H! I have been enjoying your review very much! I'm just wondering what you have on your wrist in all of the pictures. I'll be cruising with my own kids soon and I'm wondering if your parents have a tip to share! Thanks!!

[Sauer-kraut]

Hi H! I have been enjoying your review very much! I'm just wondering what you have on your wrist in all of the pictures. I'll be cruising with my own kids soon and I'm wondering if your parents have a tip to share! Thanks!!

 

They will get the wrist band at the Kid's Club .... it will have their lifeboat station on it and it MUST be worn for the ENTIRE cruise.

[pinstripes4887]

Thanks for the great review! Did you happen to have pictures of the dalies for the cruise?

[Talus731]

Loving the review H! By chance your mom didn't take any photos of the menus of those amazing adult beverages she had, did she?

[ProfCruise]

Thanks for the great review! Did you happen to have pictures of the dalies for the cruise?

 

 

I do! I'll post them shortly.

[ProfCruise]

Sorry to keep you in suspense. I’m happy to report that yes, the Easter Bunny is, in fact, real.

 

 

If you celebrate, I hope you had a wonderful Easter. Now, where were we?

 

Uptown Funk

I should mention here that despite the giant Statue of Liberty painted on the front of the ship being the first thing you see when you pull up to port, it took mom until day 7 to recognize the theme of the breakaway: “OH, I get it, Uptown as in the Uptown area of NYC!” Doctor. Moving on…

 

Mom loves to eat, especially on vacation, so she tries to minimize the damage by keeping up with her exercise routine (pedaling slowly on resistance ‘0’ while watching TV) at the ship gym. She hit the Breakaway gym in the late afternoon on our first sea day with the best of intentions (she had the best of intentions when she decided to have a kid too, and look how that turned out), but it just didn’t work out (get it).

 

Reviewing a gym is sort of like reviewing a dentist: it’s always going to suck, but you might throw a few stars their way if you don’t have to pay your bill with 3 different credit cards and you leave with a few cheesy jokes and a free toothbrush. For mom, for a gym to earn a few stars it must be cool (like temp wise – it automatically stops being the other kind of cool the minute she walks in), have good TV, and provide nice showers. Unfortunately, mom couldn’t award any stars in these three critical areas.

 

The gym was divided into two sides across the hall from each other. Weights and a small studio for classes on one side and cardio machines on the other side. Both sides were small and crowded (for the size of the ship -- expect to wait for a machine during peak hours) and hot. Mom did award half a star for having refrigerated towels available for cooling purposes. Mom grabbed a dozen of those and secured herself a rare vacant exercise bike. She spent the first 20 minutes of her workout (and 5 cooling towels) trying to get the TV to work with no luck. She was exhausted, but kept telling herself “it’s a slippery slope from having a butt that’s comfortable for sitting on (totally acceptable) and having to be cut out of your house,” so she switched to an elliptical machine that appeared to have an operational television.

 

But, while operational, 2 of the 5 or so channels available were Fox News and MSNBC. Mom got very confused flipping between them. Is this orange haired guy going to bring my job back from China (as an American it’s almost impossible to land a job as a professional cruiser these days) or will I have to yell across a giant concrete wall if I want to hang out with my new French Canadian friends? Besides, vacations are for watching a babysitter try to seduce the father of her charges while slowly poisoning their mother on Lifetime, television for women, NOT politics.

 

Anyway, mom finished her “workout” (someone walking by observed her pace on the elliptical and said “proof that things really do slow down on vacation”) and headed for the showers.

 

One of our favorite things about the gyms on Carnival is the free use of large, fancy (relatively speaking) spa showers (the gym version of a free toothbrush). Part of mom’s daily ritual on Carnival is to hit the gym and then take a long shower, rinsing out her sweat soaked gym clothes, and changing into clean gear before returning to our cabin.

 

Well to everyone’s horror there were no showers available (at least for those who hadn’t paid to use the spa) on the Breakaway. In fact there was just a very small bathroom with a few toilets and a handful of lockers.

 

So mom’s uptown funk (the gym is located all the way forward on deck 15) traveled the length of the ship and down 5 floors to our downtown (aft) stateroom and took up residence with us in our small, poorly ventilated inside cabin for the next week.

 

And despite the trail of sweat leading from our room back to the gym, mom would never return. She also hasn’t been back to the gym at home since I broke my clavicle “out of solidarity” (my bench press has really suffered).

 

In summary, every gym sucks, but with this one, you won’t even leave with a free shower.

 

 

 

Now before you go thinking I’m a Carnival Cheerleader (my arm's in a sling -- that's not even possible) and/or an NCL basher (trust me, never was there made a cruise ship I would bash), let me move on to two big wins for NCL: the toddler pool and Guppies Room (with a brief mention of Splash Academy along with the schedule for the 2-5 year old group).

[Le Cruisester]

Hi H, Jack, that's my son who will be 2 for our cruise has been hounding me for this part of your review since you started. Can't wait to hear about what you thought of the guppies room and toddler pool:D

[ProfCruise]

For my man, Jack (sippy cup toast to your upcoming trip on the big boat)…

 

Kids’ Aqua Park: Just the Facts, Ma’am

 

 

Being able to pee without ever leaving your barstool is convenient, sure, and I was skeptical at first, but, as it turns out, potty training has taken cruising to a whole new level. Before, I would spend the first day or two of my trip surrounded on all sides by water, but not able to dip a single piggy (read as toe) into it until we made it to the beach where mom would throw a swim diaper on me and warn the fish to keep their distance in case of an environmental disaster.

 

Now there’s nothing stopping me (except ship security when I do cannonballs in the adults only pool) from getting my piggies and the rest of me (except for my eyes…that stings and I have to get out and recover on a lounge chair with a Painkiller) in the miniature oceans on the big boat.

 

I freakin loved this place. In fact, I opted to stay here instead of going to the real beach one day (stay tuned). It can get crowded and a bit wild at times for really little ones, but I didn’t let that stop me.

 

 

Speaking of really little ones, I hesitate to even bring this up as it’s more controversial than à la carte pricing, but there were many, many kids in swim diapers (and a few regular diapers) and none of them were arrested and taken to the brig charged with swimming while sagging. Just the facts, ma’am – do with it what you choose (mom and dad chose to wait until I was trained, but they’re exceedingly mean).

 

[YOUTUBE]YjN7alLPpH0[/YOUTUBE]

 

P.S. My advice for my fans contemplating potty training: Hold out for a better reward. I started out getting a single M&M and worked up to king-sized Kit Kats. You’re welcome.

[ProfCruise]

Boat School (AKA Splash Academy) and the Guppies Room

 

 

Here’s another fact for you. What are the best ages to be? 65 and 3. Sixty-five because you don’t have to work and the government starts subsidizing your cruises. Three because you can take advantages of both Splash Academy AND the Guppies Room on the Breakaway. Splash Academy is the supervised youth program (I call it “boat school”) for kids/teens 3 and older and the Guppies Room is an unsupervised room full of toys and new friends (with occasional programming for parents and their toddlers) for kids 6 months - 3 years.

 

 

Mom and I visited boat school on embarkation day to get me registered and collect my free purple bracelet (hands off my free bracelet, Del Rio), but once I learned that a Guppy is a small fish (see me at the Aqua Park) who is inexpensive and easy to care for (mom and I disagree on those last two) and that I could hang out there playing toys instead of going to school, I knew that’s where I belonged and I never stepped foot in Splash Academy again.

 

I loved playing with the rotating toys (they put new ones out every day) in the Guppies Room and mom and dad appreciated having a place we could play together (they have a bit of separation anxiety). We’ve always been surprised that there’s not a spot like this for younger toddlers on Carnival. NCL for the win!

 

 

Here’s the Splash Academy schedule for the 2-5 group (I asked one of my French Canadian friends what “Cowboys in Outer Space” was and she said, “it’s how we describe you Americans.” She wasn’t sure what the activity involved – she didn’t attend that day).

 

 

[ProfCruise]

The Atrium

There were always activities going on in the Atrium designed to make you look uncoordinated or stupid (interactive video game competitions like Dance, Dance Revolution projected on the huge screen or trivia). For the trivia games, all players would start out on stage. The host would ask a question and people would move to different locations based on their answer. If they answered correctly, they stayed on stage. If not, they returned to their seat (while I tried to hit them with cocktail olives). For the session we watched, nearly all the questions were specific to American history or popular culture, but it was two French Canadians who walked away with the first and second place prizes. The Americans on board either knew nothing about their own history and culture or weren’t able to think and walk at the same time (they looked like a bunch of cowboys in outer space).

 

Well that concludes the “ship” section, although I’ll return to the her briefly when I discuss the “good, the bad, and the ugly” at the conclusion of the review.

 

Up next, ports! In the meantime, I’ll be posting all the Dailies for pinstripes4887 (so blame him/her for having to wait for adorable toddler beach shots).

 

Here’s a preview (I’m such a tease).

 

[NewHampshire2010]

P.S. My advice for my fans contemplating potty training: Hold out for a better reward. I started out getting a single M&M and worked up to king-sized Kit Kats. You’re welcome.

 

Hi H!

This is your future girlfriend, Leah. I turn 3 on Wednesday. Our families sound alike but my dad is the one who likes to save money and my mom tags along on our adventures. We have been on Norwegian and Carnival too. Nice to meet another 3 year old cruise veteran.

BUT, I'm not using the potty yet. I have stuck my heals in the mud and am holding out for WAY more than you....that's what I wanted to tell you...you settled for way less with the mega Kit Kats. My daddy has promised me a Spider Man kite, a Peppa Pig bathing suit, many princess dresses, a doctor's kit, and a big chocolate bunny (which is hanging on a wall for me to look at as motivation...NOT!) But I'm holding out for more, my friend, way more. I have a plan and I am not deviating from it. We'll see how long til my parents lose their minds.

Hope to meet you on a big boat one day. Have fun sailing, H.

LEAH! :)

[christinalvt]

Hi H and family! I'm always on the lookout for a funny and entertaining review, instead of all the cookie-cutter reviews out there. So thank you! I'm now off to find your other reviews! Hope your clavicle heals soon!

 

Christina