Kids in their own room

[Gigi McPhee]

Very interested in this topic as mine are 13 and 17 and might do the across the hall thing....we've done the connecting room last year and it went very well. When my older son did a trip w/ his class they did the tape thing - genius!

[newcastlemam]

Hey Renee, looks like Judgy McJudgersons showed up anyway.;)

 

 

Seriously we need a like button on this forum

 

I've booked inter connecting cabins. We are taking 2 x 17.5 yr old girls. They can have their space (and us too) yet know we can access their room at anytime. I was going to book the room across the hall but decided against it.

 

 

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Seriously can't believe people are saying they wouldn't let their kids have a room across the hall at 17 or until they are 18. I went on holiday to another country with my friends at 16 and had a blast also still alive to tell the tale.

 

I didn't ask "would you put them in their own room?" I very specifically asked "how old were your kids when you left them?" Therefore if you haven't done it, you have no reason to answer. Unless your objective was to try to tell me you're a better parent than me. Which I assume it was...

 

 

Again LIKE

 

My girls are only 7 and 9 so at the moment we share a room 9 year old is pretty mature however my 7 year old is defiantly going to be a bad decision type. I agree with most of the other posters you know your kids the best and if they can be trusted go for it.

[nealstuber]

Seriously we need a like button on this forum

 

 

 

 

Seriously can't believe people are saying they wouldn't let their kids have a room across the hall at 17 or until they are 18. I went on holiday to another country with my friends at 16 and had a blast also still alive to tell the tale.

 

 

 

 

Again LIKE

 

My girls are only 7 and 9 so at the moment we share a room 9 year old is pretty mature however my 7 year old is defiantly going to be a bad decision type. I agree with most of the other posters you know your kids the best and if they can be trusted go for it.

 

 

 

Our kids are stronger. But, I must confess, all of us caught Noro the first time we had our kids in their own room across the hall. Hoping we're immune going forward.

Edited May 10, 2016 by nealstuber

[bajadahl]

Mine were in connecting staterooms for the first time in 2014 when they were 12 and 10. Both very well behaved girls.

 

We specifically chose inside Promenade staterooms with windows not balconies on the Navigator of the Seas.

 

This year we are doing Oasis with central park balconies.

 

And next year we're doing outside verandas on Liberty.

 

All of these are or were connecting staterooms.

 

There's nothing like having two full bathrooms for the wife and teenage girls to get ready each day!

 

I also chaperone school field trips quite often and the tape on the doors is always a good deterrent for those less well behaved among us. And yes - I'm the dad that will knock on the doors just to see who forgets all the rules and just opens the door... It happens more often than I care to discuss but I'd rather have a teachable moment then have a tragedy.

 

Finally - I firmly believe just because you get separate staterooms does not mean you're not an attentive parent. My girls know there would be hell to pay if they disrupted another passengers vacation by being too loud at an inappropriate time of the day or night in their stateroom (or anywhere else for that matter) This includes proper behavior in the hallways at all times. They absolutely have no doubt that I wouldn't hesitate to crash their cool teen hangout if there was any problem... No one wants grumpy dad sharing a stateroom with them.... That would be a fate worse than death for my girls.

[luv2cruise523]

14 and 15, daughter and son, connecting cabins only because Anthem of the Seas doesn't have true quad cabins. To the OP, I'm sure you will make a decision that works best for your family. Enjoy your cruise!

[O.G.]

I know I will be criticized for my comment but I'm going to go right ahead and make it anyway. I worked for a travel agency and therefore had lots of info about crime reports on cruise ships. I also chaperoned many school group tours of middle and high school kids. Having said that the only point I want to make is that cruise ships are not safe communities with our friends and relatives. There are at times predators on the cruise and there have been many incidences of molestations over the years. So even though you may all be wonderful caring parents with mature responsible kids its the other people (crew, staff and passengers) you know nothing about that worries me.

[Tammy10000]

As long as they're children, they're staying in my room or an adjoining room. So my answer is 18.

 

Why? No one ever thinks anything bad will happen, but sometimes they do. What kind of things? Who knows? No one can predict emergencies. An illness, a persistent middle-of-the-night knock on the door or call to muster stations, a stranger trying to get into the room.

 

I trust my kids (who are now adults), but when they were kids, I also trusted them to be exactly what they were: Kids. Being a kid means not always making the right call about allowing in a friend (or a friend's older brother), a staff member, a person who claims to be a staff member. I remember messing up (at home) when I was a kid. I specifically remember being a teen and my boyfriend showing up without calling -- and I knew I should've reminded him of my mom's rules and asked him to come back another time, but I chose to let him stay and make my mom mad instead of him. Wrong choice, but a typical teen choice. On board, too many temptations exist. It's just too easy for kids to think, "Yeah, I know mom said I couldn't have friends in /go down to the Promenade for a soda /call for room service /whatever." But she's being overprotective, and what could happen? It's just too easy for something to happen (especially at night) when kids are out of your immediate vicinity. And if you're talking about teens, imagine the conversations that'll ensue once new friends learn that the kids have a parent-free room -- "Oh, let us come over late! We'll be so quiet. No one'll ever know." I was the kid who'd have given in -- and so are my kids.

 

Also, I trusted my kids when they were kids, but I never trusted strangers where they were concerned. Staff members would realize pretty quickly that the kids were staying alone. When we've had two adjoining rooms for our family, it's been pretty evident: My and my husband's room is neat, while our girls' room (sometimes shared with cousins) has been littered floor-to-ceiling with teenaged girl clothing. IF just one staff member chose to do something nefarious, it'd be easy enough for them to get in, and we'd never hear a thing across the hall.

 

If money's that tight, I'd move the whole family to the inside rooms. The potential danger isn't worth the bit of savings.

 

I completely agree. I would trust my kids in a room, but I wouldn't trust other adults who knew they were unsupervised in a room. Once something happens, you can't turn back time......

[Britcruzer15]

no quads available on our cruise (we booked last min) so its a boys & girls room. my kids are 13 (DS) & 10 (DD) one parent in each.

 

ajoining cabins would be acceptable at say 16, but will reserve judgement until I see what mine are like at that age.;)

[xxHadleyxx]

I know I will be criticized for my comment but I'm going to go right ahead and make it anyway. I worked for a travel agency and therefore had lots of info about crime reports on cruise ships. I also chaperoned many school group tours of middle and high school kids. Having said that the only point I want to make is that cruise ships are not safe communities with our friends and relatives. There are at times predators on the cruise and there have been many incidences of molestations over the years. So even though you may all be wonderful caring parents with mature responsible kids its the other people (crew, staff and passengers) you know nothing about that worries me.

 

I don't think most of us who allow our kids to have their own staterooms are so naive as to think nothing bad ever happens on a ship. We just feel we've taught our kids enough safety information and street smarts for it to be a reasonable risk (everything is a risk after all).

It isn't possible to keep your kids in bubble wrap until the day they turn 18 and then suddenly release them and have capable human beings on your hands--learning to handle all the "other people" in the world is best done gradually and with increasing amounts of practice--a ship, with a limited space to roam, some security and parents near-ish by can be a good place to give older kids and teens, who have shown themselves to be pretty capable, a good place to practice and hone their life skills :)

 

Heck, my 17 year old is heading to Berlin with his 17 year old best friend in July---I don't think Berlin is some 100% safe place either--but I trust that the boys have good sense and are as capable as I am of taking care of themselves and taking precautions. My daughter was travelling internationally on her own from age 14, and I felt the same.

[Cel_cruise]

Thanks for all of you that shared when you booked the kids across the hall! We have adjoining balconies for our cruise next year and they are going to be 6 (DD) and 10 (DS).

 

Someday I would love to have across the hall rooms on an oasis class to have both ocean and Boardwalk rooms. If my children are anything like me as teenagers, that won't be a smart move though! Going to have to hope that the siblings keep each other in check and that their love of tattling on each other continues if I hope to make that a reality!

 

I suppose if that doesn't work out - we could end up putting late sleepers in one room and early risers in the other. My DS and I are always up well before DH and DD and are planning to meet on the balcony! Again - only time will tell if that habit sticks around too!

[babyher]

I agree it depends on the individual child and how mature and responsible they are in general.

 

My 2 , now grown, had a lot of responsibilty put on them due to circumstance. My ex and I divorced when they were very young , i worked long crazy hours , and their mom went through a period she wasn't much of mom .....Long story , thankfully long over They didn't have long to be carefree , dumb kids.

 

They didn't always have someone nagging them to clean their room, do your homework, do this , don't do that . They were coming home and doing a lot for themselves at an age a few parents would be mortified and calling DCF. They knew this was they way it was going to be for a while. We had a lot of talks and a lot of rules laid down and I am blessed that they really came through.

 

Those days are long behind us and they are both great adults. They are independent, responsible , run their lives . As my dad used to colorfully put it . They know how to wipe their own behinds .

 

In fact they shake their head when they hear about people their age that still live home, have their mother cook and clean for them etc .

 

Trust me they are no perfect saints , but they don't fall apart at adversity and can take care of themselves .

[khart123]

Our kids are 12 (girl) and 16 (boy) and we got them a separate room for our up coming trip. We could only get a room for them that is not connecting but one room down from ours. So we have all ready talked about it with the kids but both of my kids are really responsible so we will make sure that we check on them and as someone said "lock them in for the night" before we head to bed.

[toxicfairy]

LOL I figured it was only a matter of time. ;)

 

I do appreciate all of the feedback from the vast majority of you that weren't judgy. :D

 

I'm still going to think it over. My husband thinks it's a no-brainer. Save the $800 and let them sleep across the hall. Like someone else commented, they're much further away at home. And it'd only be for sleeping and getting ready. We aren't going to be out drinking or anything while they're sleeping because we'll have our youngest in our room anyway. If we do do it, I'd definitely bring a baby monitor so that we could hear what's going on over there while we're on our balcony or in our room. That was a great idea.

 

I'll probably get the major flame throwers but... It has been my experience when our DD's had their first cruise with us ( yes a bit older but...) the room steward told us EVERY move they made...lol. If one was in and one was at the pool we knew it. If they were out or in or any where she told us as soon as she saw us. And they were teenagers! So I would think they probably are use to keeping an eye out. Most of them miss their own kids which is why they are so sweet to the kids ( as long as the kids aren't bratty ;)). IF you think your kids are ok to be across the hall then save the money. My kids never slept in my room at home ...lol... and they're bedrooms are further down the hall at home. NO I don't have 3000 strangers in my house but you get the point.

[newcastlemam]

I'll probably get the major flame throwers but... It has been my experience when our DD's had their first cruise with us ( yes a bit older but...) the room steward told us EVERY move they made...lol. If one was in and one was at the pool we knew it. If they were out or in or any where she told us as soon as she saw us. And they were teenagers! So I would think they probably are use to keeping an eye out. Most of them miss their own kids which is why they are so sweet to the kids ( as long as the kids aren't bratty ;)). IF you think your kids are ok to be across the hall then save the money. My kids never slept in my room at home ...lol... and they're bedrooms are further down the hall at home. NO I don't have 3000 strangers in my house but you get the point.

 

 

Well said

[Cel_cruise]

I'll probably get the major flame throwers but... It has been my experience when our DD's had their first cruise with us ( yes a bit older but...) the room steward told us EVERY move they made...lol. If one was in and one was at the pool we knew it. If they were out or in or any where she told us as soon as she saw us. And they were teenagers! So I would think they probably are use to keeping an eye out. Most of them miss their own kids which is why they are so sweet to the kids ( as long as the kids aren't bratty ;)). IF you think your kids are ok to be across the hall then save the money. My kids never slept in my room at home ...lol... and they're bedrooms are further down the hall at home. NO I don't have 3000 strangers in my house but you get the point.

 

 

Thanks for sharing your experience. Good point that a good room steward can really be an asset in this regard - even if It's just to be able to tell the kids that he/she is also watching!

 

I want to believe that deep down my kids know what is right and wrong and would do it - but I still think that there need to be checks and balances on that process to confirm they really are! Trust but verify works for me...

 

I'm sure they would still commit small infractions if left alone - but not the larger more serious ones.

[nbsjcruiser]

Not looking for Judgy McJudgersons here. :D

 

I'm just wondering how old your kids were when you let them have their own room across the hall. And also, were there any issues you encountered.

We currently have connecting balcony rooms booked on Harmony, but it would save us quite a bit of money to have our oldest 2 in a room across the hall. They will be 10 and (barely) 12.

 

Connecting room I'd be fine with. Across the hallway? I know what I was like when I was 12 and all the pleading in the world from my parents would have meant bupkis to me if I was on a cruise especially if I was with a brother who would likewise think the same way. I guess it depends on the kids and what they're like. You know your kids - would they be tempted to slip out at night?

[AACJ]

Depends on the maturity and how responsible the kids are. One daughter would have been fine from 12 to 14, but absolutely not appropriate from age 15 to 18. She was one of "those" kids. The other two would have been fine at any age, but not together as they would fight. So, good thing we did not have money to cruise when they were teenagers as it would have been a logistical nightmare.

 

You know your kids. If they are likely to be responsible, rule followers they will be fine as young teens or even tweens. If they are like my daughter was, sleep in the same room, tie a string from her ankle to yours, put a bell on the door and know you still might learn all the security guards first names.

I have the same situation, not worried about my 13 year old daughter, it's the 18 year old one I am. And she doesn't know the drinking age in all of our ports is 18 either. I'd like to have a beer or so with her at the last port though.....

 

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Edited May 12, 2016 by AACJ