Traveling With a Friend With Dementia

[Two Rileys]

A friend who has always loved cruising has been recently diagnosed with dementia. He has cognitive and short-term memory issues, though at the present time his long-term memories are intact. Some days are better than others, but, of course, we don't know from day-to-day how he will function the next day. Depends are a must. He is mobile and does wander and, while he couldn't manage elevator buttons (he would just start pushing buttons) or the remote control for the television, he can figure out how to unlock a door. If he were to be found wandering around the ship, I do not believe that he would be able to tell anyone his cabin number, though he would be able to tell his wife's name. His wife (and caregiver) is adamant about taking him on a cruise. She has health and mobility issues as well. He was always the one to take care of her, but now the situations are reversed. We usually travel with them and realize it would be a team effort to take him on a cruise, but I'm a little hesitant. I don't know how he would handle the crowds and chaos of embarkation and debarkation or even trying to get lunch on the Lido deck. I'm just asking for your personal experiences and any suggestions if we DO decide to attempt this.

[xxoocruiser]

All cruise lines contracts have a "Fit to Travel" Clause. Though the wording varies from cruise line to cruise it bascically states :

The Guest warrants they are as well as everyone in their party are physically and emotionally fit to travel at the time of embarkation, and further certifies that such Guests have no medical or emotional condition that would endanger the Guest or others. The cruise requires any Guest who is not self-sufficient travel with a companion who shall take responsibility for any assistance needed during the voyage and in case of emergency.

 

Being that your friend wife has her own health & mobility issues , her husband has dementia and no one else will be traveling with them this does present a serious concern. If the cruise line staff finds your friend wandering and confused and this becomes a continued problem for the cruise staff and or passengers cruise lines can and do remove passengers at the next port of call.

 

The situation I remember most is one that occurred several years ago. The woman has dementia or early stages of Alzheimers was found wandering and confused and asking for help on numerous occassions. Though the individual was traveling with family they would leave her alone on the ship when they went into port. The entire group was removed from the ship at the next available port. No refund and all costs to get back were the responsibility of the family and not the cruise line. The "Fit to Travel" clause was enforced by the cruise line.

[Two Rileys]

I went back and re-read my post and realized I wasn't clear. I'm sorry. We would not let them travel alone. We would be going with them and there may be some other travelers, too. There is no way they could do a cruise alone (or any other trip for that matter). I was just looking for any experiences and/or suggestions

[mexico8]

I went back and re-read my post and realized I wasn't clear. I'm sorry. We would not let them travel alone. We would be going with them and there may be some other travelers, too. There is no way they could do a cruise alone (or any other trip for that matter). I was just looking for any experiences and/or suggestions

 

I don't have any experience or suggestions but I just wanted to commend you for your kindness in contemplating taking the cruise with the couple. Whatever you decide I hope it works out well for all concerned.

 

Wendy

[xxoocruiser]

I went back and re-read my post and realized I wasn't clear. I'm sorry. We would not let them travel alone. We would be going with them and there may be some other travelers, too. There is no way they could do a cruise alone (or any other trip for that matter). I was just looking for any experiences and/or suggestions

 

Though you are planning to travel with them my previous post still applies as his conditions does require someone to be with him at all time though he could still wander off and get away from someone . Suggest you do a search on this forum as well as various cruise line forums using the key word "Dementia" as this is comes of office throughout the CC boards. The biggest issue for Dementia patients is that taking them out of their normal environment presents a lot frustration and confusing for the individual. Therefore I'm not so certain how enjoyable the cruise will be for the rest of you as he really needs to have someone with him at all times.

 

If your friend does insist on proceeding than she needs to be advised of the cruise contract's "Fit to Travel" clause. A travel door alarm for the cabin is an option but being that the individual's wife has health and mobility issues her husband could be out of the cabin well before she's able to get out the door to bring him back as guessing you won't be in the same cabin. with them. Thus an a travel aid staying in an adjoining connecting cabin where the door between the 2 cabins can be kept open is actually the better option. Even with that said it's still poses lot of concerns.

[Enforcer]

Hi,

 

I have some experience of helping/caring/dealing with people with dementia but I'm no expert but I do know how challenging this can be, especially when dealing with a male sufferer who may have been the mildest person living but can become very aggressive without notice.

 

I do feel that your friends do need to consider if taking a cruise is for them, sometimes you have to be sensible and know when to draw the line.

 

I don't know if this link will work from your side of the pond but it leads to a dementia forum which is populated by carers who are very much more expert than I am, if it doesn't then maybe search for a forum in your neck of the woods.

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents.php?categoryID=200125

 

I hope this helps

 

Pete

[keithm]

A friend who has always loved cruising has been recently diagnosed with dementia. He has cognitive and short-term memory issues, though at the present time his long-term memories are intact. Some days are better than others, but, of course, we don't know from day-to-day how he will function the next day. Depends are a must. He is mobile and does wander and, while he couldn't manage elevator buttons (he would just start pushing buttons) or the remote control for the television, he can figure out how to unlock a door. If he were to be found wandering around the ship, I do not believe that he would be able to tell anyone his cabin number, though he would be able to tell his wife's name. His wife (and caregiver) is adamant about taking him on a cruise. She has health and mobility issues as well. He was always the one to take care of her, but now the situations are reversed. We usually travel with them and realize it would be a team effort to take him on a cruise, but I'm a little hesitant. I don't know how he would handle the crowds and chaos of embarkation and debarkation or even trying to get lunch on the Lido deck. I'm just asking for your personal experiences and any suggestions if we DO decide to attempt this.

With the "fit to travel" clause, the friend in question may very well be denied boarding. Even if they are allowed, his wife & you will be responsible for total care of this person. I would also really look for a good insurance policy, as most would automatically deny coverage in in instant such as this. We saw a couple from England who traveled with a caregiver. The husband was totally dependent on the wheelchair. The wife wasn't much better off. The caregiver seemed to always have everything under control, but still I was amazed they were allowed to cruise.

[PoppyandNana]

With the "fit to travel" clause, the friend in question may very well be denied boarding. Even if they are allowed, his wife & you will be responsible for total care of this person. I would also really look for a good insurance policy, as most would automatically deny coverage in in instant such as this. We saw a couple from England who traveled with a caregiver. The husband was totally dependent on the wheelchair. The wife wasn't much better off. The caregiver seemed to always have everything under control, but still I was amazed they were allowed to cruise.

 

Heard a story a while back about an older man who was so bad off he needed help going to the toilet, dressing, eating much less getting from point A to B.

 

He booked a suite thinking the butler would take care of his toilet duties. Believe they either threw him overboard or disembarked him at the next port. None of the butlers would have anything to do with him.

 

Wonder how he got aboard in the first place?

Edited November 6, 2016 by PoppyandNana

[xxoocruiser]

Heard a story a while back about an older man who was so bad off he needed help going to the toilet, dressing, eating much less getting from point A to B.

 

He booked a suite thinking the butler would take care of his toilet duties. Believe they either threw him overboard or disembarked him at the next port. None of the butlers would have anything to do with him.

 

Wonder how he got aboard in the first place?

 

The incidence you are referring to happened on NCL a few years back. The man was in a power wheelchair. Being in a power wheelchair would have no bearing on whether or not the cruise line would Board him as it can't ask any question specific to the medical needs of the individual. Therefore the cruise lines take the position that the passenger is well aware for of its "Fit to Travel" Clause in the cruise contract until such time that it's proven otherwise that the passenger required assistance beyond what the cruise staff will be allowed.

[mamasylvia]

I have been a registered nurse for 30 years and have cared for many patients with dementia. It is a challenge, to say the least - and I only had to care for them until the end of my shift and in controlled surroundings.

 

It sounds to me like the wife is in denial. Putting a person with short-term memory issues into an unfamiliar situation is going to cause them anxiety, not pleasure, and could easily result in verbal or physical acting-out. I would urge her to discuss taking a cruise with her husband's doctor(s), as they are in the best position to evaluate whether any travel would be advisable.

 

You also might telephone the accessible department of a cruise line or two and ask whether they would accept a person with these issues on a cruise.

 

It is kind of you to try to help your friend. If the cruise winds up being impossible, his wife probably be upset about it.

 

(If the disabled man had the money for a suite, why on earth didn't he hire a helper or two? In my single (healthier) days, I would have jumped at the chance as long as there was someone to share duties with so I got to do some fun stuff too).

Edited November 6, 2016 by mamasylvia

[Two Rileys]

Very helpful. A lot to think about.

[Essiesmom]

I have been a registered nurse for 30 years and have cared for many patients with dementia. It is a challenge, to say the least - and I only had to care for them until the end of my shift and in controlled surroundings.

 

It sounds to me like the wife is in denial. Putting a person with short-term memory issues into an unfamiliar situation is going to cause them anxiety, not pleasure, and could easily result in verbal or physical acting-out. I would urge her to discuss taking a cruise with her husband's doctor(s), as they are in the best position to evaluate whether any travel would be advisable.

 

You also might telephone the accessible department of a cruise line or two and ask whether they would accept a person with these issues on a cruise.

 

It is kind of you to try to help your friend. If the cruise winds up being impossible, his wife probably be upset about it.

 

(If the disabled man had the money for a suite, why on earth didn't he hire a helper or two? In my single (healthier) days, I would have jumped at the chance as long as there was someone to share duties with so I got to do some fun stuff too).

 

Actually, I believe the individual was on Celebrity, and booked the cruise with his wife, who was his caregiver. But at the last minute she couldn't go, so he went alone, expecting the cabin steward/butler, whatever to do for him. They put him off at the first port. EM

[keithm]

Heard a story a while back about an older man who was so bad off he needed help going to the toilet, dressing, eating much less getting from point A to B.

 

He booked a suite thinking the butler would take care of his toilet duties. Believe they either threw him overboard or disembarked him at the next port. None of the butlers would have anything to do with him.

 

Wonder how he got aboard in the first place?

I doubt they tossed him overboard! The couple on my Celebrity trip 2 years back, the man was about in the condition as you stated. The caregiver helped feed him & took him to the rest room. They were seated right near us, so we saw pretty much how things went. He seemed quite capable in helping. The wife was also in a chair, but she seemed much more capable than her husband. She was able to leave the chair for short periods.

[PoppyandNana]

Actually, I believe the individual was on Celebrity, and booked the cruise with his wife, who was his caregiver. But at the last minute she couldn't go, so he went alone, expecting the cabin steward/butler, whatever to do for him. They put him off at the first port. EM

 

Wonder how that worked out for the old guy. He needs a hand going pee pee and now he's on a dock in a foreign country with all his stuff.