Not sure what do,cancel or not kid has summer school..

[jpolm]

I am a parent of two teenagers and also a high school teacher. I would offer a slightly different opinion than the majority on this board. There is a lot of good that can come from tough love and consequences from ones own actions but leaving one member of the family behind while the entire family goes on vacation is harsh. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying everyone is a snowflake but this can be quite traumatic on some kids. I would offer that many high schools have online (often PLATO credit recovery) courses that can be used for this very thing. If a family came to me and a student needed to re-take a semester of my Biology course I would offer the option of an online course (that can be mostly done offline and then uploaded, you would need very little wifi time). This way he could go with you on the vacation but maybe he would have to stay behind in the cabin at certain times doing his schoolwork. This would still provide some consequences and the credit recovery without the extreme of being left behind by the family. If you are interested in this option speak with his guidance counselor to see if it is an option in your school/state. Good luck!

 

 

I do agree and see your point. But he was given many chances and chose the do nothing, fail, let's look at my iPad ,iPhone approach instead .. mom gave him a month to turn it around they laid down the law , they talked they negotiated so thry gave him the month , he promised and did nothing. He does need someone to follow through. It does seem harsh and I feel horrible I don't want to alienate him but summer school is now his only hope. School is way more important so he can get his diploma next year then some cruise. It will probably crush him, he lives for vacations but honestly he goes and he takes off on us an argues with us when we ask for him to simply have dinner on the trip with us. He only wants us when no one else does and he's also very entitled thinking. It might be a wake up call and the reward could be when he graduates we will repeat the trip? Idk like I said I am torn..

[sredish]

For what it's worth, I'm also the mom of a 14 year old and a 10 year old and stepmom to a 14, 10 and 8 year old. I also work in secondary education at the district office level for a large school district. I would have zero qualms about leaving him behind with his mother to attend summer school while I went on my preplanned vacation. His poor choices resulted in him having to take summer school...his poor choices should not have any bearing on your family vacation or make you feel guilty for continuing on with it. Life has consequences and he needs to learn this. When you alter your entire families vacation plans to accommodate HIS unfortunate choices, you are enabling him. If he already has an entitlement problem, like you mentioned he does, this will only add to it by making him and his poor choices the focus.

 

Go on with the vacation, absolutely 100% go on with the vacation and put the 14 yo and 9 yo in their own room...they'll have a ball. Plus you'll get your own room with your husband...major bonus! On the reservation you will need to put you and your husband on each room, but just switch the room keys once on board...it's done all the time. And for goodness sakes, don't feel guilty for being a good parent. You are teaching him a very important life lesson, here.

[sredish]

I would offer that many high schools have online (often PLATO credit recovery) courses that can be used for this very thing.

 

 

Be very careful with online credit recovery courses...especially for core credits (science, math, English, social studies). If the online test does not offer a proctored final examination, the school district may not accept the credit as core credit without a challenge test.

[jpolm]

Be very careful with online credit recovery courses...especially for core credits (science, math, English, social studies). If the online test does not offer a proctored final examination, the school district may not accept the credit as core credit without a challenge test.

 

 

He's not doing that. He needs his core credits and honestly he's not disciplined enough. As it is he will have two onlne course I fear he will struggle with. The gauntlet came down hard because he was given a lot of trust and absolutely did nothing to keep it now I guess my dh feels that this will be another eye opener

[2ferfun]

I do agree and see your point. But he was given many chances and chose the do nothing, fail, let's look at my iPad ,iPhone approach instead .. mom gave him a month to turn it around they laid down the law , they talked they negotiated so thry gave him the month , he promised and did nothing. He does need someone to follow through. It does seem harsh and I feel horrible I don't want to alienate him but summer school is now his only hope. School is way more important so he can get his diploma next year then some cruise. It will probably crush him, he lives for vacations but honestly he goes and he takes off on us an argues with us when we ask for him to simply have dinner on the trip with us. He only wants us when no one else does and he's also very entitled thinking. It might be a wake up call and the reward could be when he graduates we will repeat the trip? Idk like I said I am torn..

 

 

No, I think you are doing the absolutely right thing. Saying that he already had an opportunity to turn things around and he chose not to means that it is time for a tough lesson. If more parents were willing to do that, then our world would be very different. Good job to you for doing something that is very difficult but will be good for your child in the end.

[2ferfun]

Be very careful with online credit recovery courses...especially for core credits (science, math, English, social studies). If the online test does not offer a proctored final examination, the school district may not accept the credit as core credit without a challenge test.

 

 

This post doesnt make any sense. You cant do an online credit recovery program without going through the school district. Either the school district has this as an option, which means they will for sure accept it or they don't which means its not an option. Its not possible to just do a 'random credit recovery' and then find that the school district wont accept it. It all MUST be done through the school district.

[sredish]

This post doesnt make any sense. You cant do an online credit recovery program without going through the school district. Either the school district has this as an option, which means they will for sure accept it or they don't which means its not an option. Its not possible to just do a 'random credit recovery' and then find that the school district wont accept it. It all MUST be done through the school district.

 

 

Actually, that is not correct. There are many online charter schools that offer summer school courses that are NOT part of a public school district...IE Primavera, K12, AlphaOmega Academy, and many MANY others. I work in secondary administration office for a large public school district and I can assure you that online charters exist and I can also assure you that students will take summer school courses through this avenues...hence why we require challenge tests to accept the credit when the final exam for the online course is not proctored.

Edited February 28, 2017 by sredish

[DonnaK]

Absolutely, I would leave him home with his mom.

 

I also would keep 2 cabins, one for the kids and one for the adults. Make the cabins connecting, and keep the connecting door open if you are concerned about them being alone, so you create one larger room with two bathrooms. This is going to be much more comfortable than cramming 4 in one room.

 

I wouldn't worry about having one adult booked in each room in order to bring on 4 bottles of wine. In my experience, they don't check that closely - they only care that you have 2 cabins booked. If you are concerned, mom and dad could go through security with the wine on two different lines.

[2ferfun]

Actually, that is not correct. There are many online charter schools that offer summer school courses that are NOT part of a public school district...IE Primavera, K12, AlphaOmega Academy, and many MANY others. I work in secondary administration office for a large public school district and I can assure you that online charters exist and I can also assure you that students will take summer school courses through this avenues...hence why we require challenge tests to accept the credit when the final exam for the online course is not proctored.

 

 

You mean people take summer courses without checking with you first to make sure you will accept the credit? That seems crazy! We don't have that problem at my school, I can't imagine what people are thinking when they do that. I imagine you have a lot of disappointed kids and angry parents!:o

[sredish]

You mean people take summer courses without checking with you first to make sure you will accept the credit? That seems crazy! We don't have that problem at my school, I can't imagine what people are thinking when they do that. I imagine you have a lot of disappointed kids and angry parents!:o

 

 

Absolutely they do! Yes, it is crazy. And they also get upset when told the student has to take the challenge test in order to have the credit placed on our transcript...which makes zero sense to me. If the student took the course and passed the course (with flying colors, naturally), they can pass the test. Now, if the parent took the course FOR the student...I can see why the student can't pass the challenge test. And yes, that also happens... :confused:

[Tapi]

How badly does your son want to go to China? It may be a bigger lesson if the trip to China is eliminated and then you move your cruise to the month of June. That way you can still keep your vacation with all family members intact. He may be downright miserable being forced to go on a cruise knowing that he could've gone to China but instead that trip has been canceled because of his underperformance in school.

 

About the cabin setup, I wholeheartedly agree. Keep the two cabins even with only 4 family members

 

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[cruzinlisa]

OP, I am going to echo what most said and say you should go. Life is about choices and as a young adult, it is a good time to learn that. Life's lessons are not always easy and the amount of "trauma" depends on the person. For example, my sister, who has a lot of drama in her life, will tell you how traumatized she was because she missed a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese when she was 10 due to not having her homework done. On the other hand, when I was a young adult (24), I had just finished law school and was preparing for the bar exam. I don't remember the cost, but I want to say it was over a thousand to sit for the exam, not to mention bar prep classes. I pretty much blew off the classes and did minimal amount of studying in June. End of July is the bar exam. The week before, my mom, sister and best friend took a vacation to Florida. I stayed home to study. I studied my tail off. Ultimately I passed the exam. I probably would not have gone to Florida even had I studied all along, because it was not the right choice for me to go. I knew that. I always remember that I missed that trip to Florida, but I still never regret it. As important as vacation is, some things are bigger. Like graduating high school, or passing the bar exam.

 

Also, I did not begrudge my family for going without me. I made my choice.

[LadyLion_AP]

I do agree and see your point. But he was given many chances and chose the do nothing, fail, let's look at my iPad ,iPhone approach instead .. mom gave him a month to turn it around they laid down the law , they talked they negotiated so thry gave him the month , he promised and did nothing. He does need someone to follow through. It does seem harsh and I feel horrible I don't want to alienate him but summer school is now his only hope. School is way more important so he can get his diploma next year then some cruise. It will probably crush him, he lives for vacations but honestly he goes and he takes off on us an argues with us when we ask for him to simply have dinner on the trip with us. He only wants us when no one else does and he's also very entitled thinking. It might be a wake up call and the reward could be when he graduates we will repeat the trip? Idk like I said I am torn..

 

 

Entitlement is an epidemic many of our young ones suffer! I applaud you for fighting this now! Hats off to you!

 

 

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[Cruise for vacation]

Why do you have to downgrade to 1 cabin? can't the 2 remaining kids stay in their own cabin?

 

I wouldn't cancel. This is a teaching opportunity for ALL the kids. Poor grades have consequences.

 

 

Get a joining room and have the door open

[twomoons]

I do agree and see your point. But he was given many chances and chose the do nothing, fail, let's look at my iPad ,iPhone approach instead .. mom gave him a month to turn it around they laid down the law , they talked they negotiated so thry gave him the month , he promised and did nothing. He does need someone to follow through. It does seem harsh and I feel horrible I don't want to alienate him but summer school is now his only hope. School is way more important so he can get his diploma next year then some cruise. It will probably crush him, he lives for vacations but honestly he goes and he takes off on us an argues with us when we ask for him to simply have dinner on the trip with us. He only wants us when no one else does and he's also very entitled thinking. It might be a wake up call and the reward could be when he graduates we will repeat the trip? Idk like I said I am torn..

 

 

We have 2 girls & have stayed in an adjoining cabin with the door open. (They were 12 & 10 last time) We loved it! It gave us more room & quite honestly less stress. I would absolutely not cancel the family vacation as no one else should suffer for his poor choices.

 

Hearing about his general attitude I would also threaten to pull the China trip if he doesn't turn around not only in school, but socially with how he acts with you all.

On a separate note, I understand wanting to push him to do summer school to graduate on time, but it doesn't sound like he is mature/responsible enough for college anyway. Maybe it's a wise choice to let him repeat a year, suffer the consequences , & then maybe he will be more mature & prepared for college.

 

 

 

 

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[jpolm]

Wellbad news called my ta, I cannot change my room to a party of 2 from 3 and transfer my other kid to the other room. Because my room is a 3-4 person room they'd either make me cancel that room or put all 4 of us into that room and cancel the other room. When I went to price the cruise for one room with 4 of us in there it just barely goes down because prices have now gone up. It's just not worth it for me to pay all this money to cram all of us into one room. The only way I was willing to pay more was to have the peace and sanity of having two rooms. Now thinking we either change cruises or go next year and do a land vacation this year still with out kids.

[ColoradoGurl]

Keep your plans. Changing everyone else's summer plans only teaches that kid that he doesn't have consequences and you will be helping to create a spoiled child who doesn't work hard to earn privileges. It sounds like, at 16, that has kind of already happened, but there's still a small amount of time for him to have a wake up call, and this is a perfect opportunity. Don't be one of those parents who coddles underachieving children and tells them they can have what they want no matter what, you'll be really sorry when he becomes an adult and is still asking you guys to pay his bills. There is absolutely no good reason to change your plans because of his lack of motivation and preparation.

 

I also see no reason why you can't move the 9 year old over to the room with the 14 year old, especially if she'll be lonely by herself. Get some balls mom, you sound like one of those parents who is creating horrible entitled millennials.

 

 

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[cello56]

Just let your step-son be a no show for the cruise. That way you can keep the cabins you already have and the price will remain the same. You also have the option of replacing him with someone else.

[jpolm]

Well checked myself and realized we can do 2 cabins connecting with 2 in each room. This actually drasictcally brings down the price because there's more availability , as our room will be a lowere grade interior not happy with the deck-3 from 7. But saving a couple grand and still be able to go is what I'm hoping for. On hold with Ta now and if this can happen it's a done deal.. he has already been told he's not going he was not happy about it but we also will remind him that he still has a chance to pull things up and earn China..

[jpolm]

Well great news our price went down a couple thousand and now we have two connecting Central Park view rooms.. for 4. Went from interior for 2, across the hall of a balcony for 3. But saving quite a bit and not hs I g to cancel. It all worked out. Thanks everyone..