Spring break on the Allure...a photo review

[micmacmissy]

So after a nice dinner at 150 Central Park, and a drink or two or four at the Jazz Club, I stopped into on the marijuana-scented restrooms. (Seriously, am I the ONLY one who has noticed that smell?)

 

THE MAGICAL TOILETS OF ALLURE

Anyway, I have a bad track record of cell phones on cruises. Those of you who remember by Independence of the Seas review will remember that my phone was "lost" (ahem) while on Labadee. Miraculously, it was "found" after I offered the Labadee steel drum band $200 as a reward. MAJOR EYEROLL...

 

And this time? Well, I headed into the bathroom and when I went to flush, I saw - my iPhone in the toilet. Oh, no! What is it with me and iPhones while on a cruise? The worst part is -and I'm sorry for being graphic but I've been honest up until this point, so - I don't know if the phone fell in before or after I peed. :o

 

So I hesitated for about .1 second and then stuck my hand right in there and pulled it out. At the sink, I washed it with soap and water (because, the pee! Egads!). And here is the miracle of all miracles - it kept right on working. And no, I don't have an Otterbox or some other waterproof case. I just have a cute, slim, non-protective Kate Spade case on it which serves no purpose other than to look good. (To me an Otterbox case is like orthotic shoes for your iPhone. I wouldn't be caught dead with either!)

 

So...are the toilets on Allure magic? I guess so. Another close call with the phone, another victory for me!

[Ocean Boy]

At least all you did was pee....

[micmacmissy]

Okay, so on the last sea day, the kids decided they want to play "Win a Cruise" Bingo. I thought, well, it's the first time they've been really jazzed to do something, so okay, I'll bite.

 

First they had a "pre-sale" of bingo cards on the promenade, but I didn't feel a compulsion to do that. So Bingo started at 3, we lined up at 2:30 to buy bingo cards.

 

Wow, I've never played bingo on a cruise ship before so I guess I didn't know what a MASSIVE RIP OFF it was. I think we paid something like $48 for 9 Bingo cards - and they only play 3 games of Bingo. They were also selling these computerized Bingo games, but we didn't get one of those (even though you get a LOT more cards on that) because what is the fun of Bingo if you're not going to mark off the spots yourself? I am a Bingo purist, people!

 

They also give you some lottery type tickets, you peel them open and can win money that way. When the lady handed me my stuff, she said, "Don't do your peel offs yet, in case you want a refund." Well, that struck me as odd. Why would I want a refund? I asked her, "Oh, you give refunds if I don't win?" Ha ha. She said, "No, if you decide you don't want to play Bingo after all." Ok- that's weird...why would I BE here, BUYING these overpriced cards, if I didn't want to play? Well, I would find out...

 

So the line was long but by 2:50 we were seated and waiting. And waiting, and waiting. Next to us was the most adorable old lady who was so full of sass I wanted to hug her. (In other words, she was me in 30 years). For the purposes of this review, we will call her Cranky Granny. She was sitting with her 7 year old granddaughter and starting complaining about why Bingo wasn't starting. "Don't they know we have to get off the ship on Sunday?" she barked. "Oh sure, the only line on this ship they keep moving is the one where they COLLECT money!" And so on, and so on.

 

Finally at 3:45 I started to get annoyed. They did not appear even close to getting started. FInally some cruise employee got up onstage and said, "We have special entertainment for you...a passenger is going to SING!" My cute 75-year old neighbor said, "We're here for BINGO, not singing!" Preach it, Cranky Granny.

 

So some 12 year old gets onstage and starts singing Barbra Streisand. (You can't make this #$%@ up, you guys.) After a very long winded version of the song, I got up to see what the holdup was. The Bingo employees said, "Sorry it's taking so long but so many people still wanted to buy cards..." Ummm, what about the people who were here on TIME and want to get moving? "If you want a refund, you can get one," she told me. BLERG!

 

I sat back down and told Cranky Granny she could get a refund if she wanted to. She and her granddaughter promptly got up and left.

 

Then, head Bingo guy spent another 20 minutes trying to get all the electronic Bingo handhelds up and running. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

 

So probably at this point there are at least 120 people in the theatre, and these suckers are probably into Bingo for about $40/each. That's a LOT of cash they're pulling in. First game (straight Bingo) jackpot had two winners, maybe three, I think they split $450.

 

Second game (four corners) had one winner for $500.

 

Third game (X on card) started going. They tell you to stand up when you only need one number to Bingo.

 

...now let me pause here for a second to tell you how naive my kids are. They honestly BELIEVED we had a chance at winning. They really, truly, honestly thought we were going to win. Silly fools. But then, they called B6 and we were...ONE AWAY FROM THE FREE CRUISE!....

 

So we stand up. And sure enough...some other lady won the cruise. She was from Baltimore, and had a teenage son with her, and didn't even crack a smile. My daughter thought it was totally unfair that someone who didn't even WANT the cruise won. Why wasn't she smiling? Jumping up and down? Yelling?

 

But hey, at least playing was fun, right?

 

Uh, no. Not really. I would much rather have taken that $48 to the casino. Or used it for two overpriced glasses of wine at Vintages. Or ate another Chops filet. Or flushed it down the toilet, for that matter!

 

So...lesson learned on cruise Bingo. Although inexplicably, the kids thought it was terrific fun, and on second thought, if I hadn't spent that $48, I never would have met Cranky Granny, who I truly feel is my soul sister. So in hindsight, Bingo was totally worth it.

[njaloha]

Seriously, dudette. You need to write a book. I'd pay $48 bucks to read it!!!!. You are funny. I got the whole bingo vibe!!!. Priceless

 

 

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[EatonDoolittle]

I stopped into on the marijuana-scented restrooms. (Seriously, am I the ONLY one who has noticed that smell?)

 

After reading some of your posts, I have to wonder if you are not bringing "that smell" along with you, if you know what I mean.

 

I remember my friends and I eating Hall's Mentholyptus Cough Drops as a teen, thinking we were disguising the smell after smoking weed.

Funny thing was, instead of smelling like weed walking into Spanish class, we all smelled like Hall's.

Back in the day, it was common to grab a smoke in the bathroom between classes.

Yeah, I'm that old.

[jpolm]

Just popped I. Yo get caught up and LMAO. Great and funny writer!! :). Helping me decide if we want to return to the allure in July. (Oasis 5 years ago) part of he wants cruise other wants land relax.

 

 

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[jpolm]

I need to get your secret for keeping your kids with you. Ever since my kids went on their first cruise with us at ages 14 and 12 and discovered the teen club we get on the cruise, they meet kids, and we don't see them for the week. Other than dinners which are mandatory (albeit they leave as soon as they can for some teen activity) and getting off the ship.

 

 

 

This is our first cruise on one of the bigger ships. The other 2 (Freedom and Adventure) it was pretty easy to find them if we needed. Now they are 17 and 14 and they're already talking about the teen club and the kids they'll meet. I would love them to see the shows and spend time at the pool with them a little........ *sigh*. If you have any suggestions.....

 

 

Agree. Part of me likes that we have more freedom as parents on a cruise the other part of me knows they continue to get older and the less they want us to be around. Sometimes just doing a vacation with nothing but a beach and a chair might help with seeing the kids more. But our kids are gone the entire cruise as well except the dinners we ask them to be at and ports.

 

 

 

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[micmacmissy]

At least all you did was pee....

 

Good point! :')

[micmacmissy]

Seriously, dudette. You need to write a book. I'd pay $48 bucks to read it!!!!. You are funny. I got the whole bingo vibe!!!. Priceless

 

Glad you like it. Feel free to send me the $48. I'll split it with Cranky Granny!

[micmacmissy]

After reading some of your posts, I have to wonder if you are not bringing "that smell" along with you, if you know what I mean.

 

I remember my friends and I eating Hall's Mentholyptus Cough Drops as a teen, thinking we were disguising the smell after smoking weed.

Funny thing was, instead of smelling like weed walking into Spanish class, we all smelled like Hall's.

Back in the day, it was common to grab a smoke in the bathroom between classes.

Yeah, I'm that old.

 

I promise it wasn't me!!! :cool:

 

I don't know when you graduated high school, but my high school actually had a smoker's lounge!!!!

 

I can't believe NO ONE has noticed that the bathroom disinfectant smells like marijuana...am I crazy????

[dst]

So after a nice dinner at 150 Central Park, and a drink or two or four at the Jazz Club, I stopped into on the marijuana-scented restrooms. (Seriously, am I the ONLY one who has noticed that smell?)

 

THE MAGICAL TOILETS OF ALLURE

Anyway, I have a bad track record of cell phones on cruises. Those of you who remember by Independence of the Seas review will remember that my phone was "lost" (ahem) while on Labadee. Miraculously, it was "found" after I offered the Labadee steel drum band $200 as a reward. MAJOR EYEROLL...

 

And this time? Well, I headed into the bathroom and when I went to flush, I saw - my iPhone in the toilet. Oh, no! What is it with me and iPhones while on a cruise? The worst part is -and I'm sorry for being graphic but I've been honest up until this point, so - I don't know if the phone fell in before or after I peed. :o

 

So I hesitated for about .1 second and then stuck my hand right in there and pulled it out. At the sink, I washed it with soap and water (because, the pee! Egads!). And here is the miracle of all miracles - it kept right on working. And no, I don't have an Otterbox or some other waterproof case. I just have a cute, slim, non-protective Kate Spade case on it which serves no purpose other than to look good. (To me an Otterbox case is like orthotic shoes for your iPhone. I wouldn't be caught dead with either!)

 

So...are the toilets on Allure magic? I guess so. Another close call with the phone, another victory for me!

 

Thank goodness for Kate Spade, protective and CUTE!

Edited April 27, 2017 by dst

[micmacmissy]

 

So on the next to last day, I realized that the ONLY time the kids' Boardwalk balcony was ever used was when I went to "visit" their room and check out the view. They would have been fine in an inside cabin.

 

I know lots of people love these balconies- I would much prefer seeing the ocean - or if not, definitely Central Park. Now remember it was spring break week so there were TONS of kids, who definitely used the boardwalk area!

 

So this night we went to the MDR for dinner, and got seated near a window. It was the nicest view we had all week!

 

 

While we are at dinner, we like to have discussions of "If I was in charge of designing a cruise ship..." And that night, at the night ocean view table, I decided that it would be cool to have a restaurant with HUGE windows that spanned above and below the water line- so you can see the water sloshing around! Why can't they do that? Or, a completely underwater restaurant so you can see underwater the whole time- wouldn't that be cool? Someone explain to me why that's not possible.

 

So you know that whole debate on CC about Oasis class being inward-facing ships? Well, after a week on Allure, hubby and I concur- we didn't get enough ocean views. The Oceanview balcony would be a MUST HAVE if we were to cruise this class again. We made an effort to hang out in the Solarium, on our balcony, and on the jogging track in the aft where there are chairs. But unless you luck out and get a window seat in the MDR, you can't really see the ocean from public areas. Some parts of the MDR were so buried I practically needed a map to get out- they have circular banquette areas within the dining room...it's hard to explain but from some areas in the MDR, you can't even SEE a window.

 

We liked the Independence promenade a lot- but on Allure it did seem too mall-like. We missed having windows and ocean views in the bars and lounges - Celebrity S-class does a great job with that. We also missed a promenade deck that wasn't obstructed.

 

So- not a dealbreaker, and this ship is awesome and I think is a must-do at least once...but we did feel a little cut off from the ocean. I was telling the family about the Carnival and Norwegian ships with the eateries along the promenade, and we talked about MSC Seaside. That said, I don't think I would try any of those lines because reviews are so inconsistent. We know RCCL and Celebrity both do a good job so I'm likely to stick with them.

[crusinot]

following! Great review so far!

[VPIcruiser]

We had a great view in Izumi! After our first Allure cruise, we went on the Jewel and my husband and I kept saying, "you can see the ocean from everywhere!"

We had a wonderful cruise on Allure (both times), but I did feel like I had to seek out the ocean views. The trade off was it was the best entertainment on Allure. We enjoyed not only the four main shows, but also all the live music.

[ZimmCouple]

It does exist.... maldives rengali island

 

 

 

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[jpolm]

I promise it wasn't me!!! :cool:

 

 

 

I don't know when you graduated high school, but my high school actually had a smoker's lounge!!!!

 

 

 

I can't believe NO ONE has noticed that the bathroom disinfectant smells like marijuana...am I crazy????

 

 

Did we graduate from the same school -year so did mine!!

 

 

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[OSULabRat]

Okay, so on the last sea day, the kids decided they want to play "Win a Cruise" Bingo. I thought, well, it's the first time they've been really jazzed to do something, so okay, I'll bite.

 

First they had a "pre-sale" of bingo cards on the promenade, but I didn't feel a compulsion to do that. So Bingo started at 3, we lined up at 2:30 to buy bingo cards.

 

Wow, I've never played bingo on a cruise ship before so I guess I didn't know what a MASSIVE RIP OFF it was. I think we paid something like $48 for 9 Bingo cards - and they only play 3 games of Bingo. They were also selling these computerized Bingo games, but we didn't get one of those (even though you get a LOT more cards on that) because what is the fun of Bingo if you're not going to mark off the spots yourself? I am a Bingo purist, people!

 

They also give you some lottery type tickets, you peel them open and can win money that way. When the lady handed me my stuff, she said, "Don't do your peel offs yet, in case you want a refund." Well, that struck me as odd. Why would I want a refund? I asked her, "Oh, you give refunds if I don't win?" Ha ha. She said, "No, if you decide you don't want to play Bingo after all." Ok- that's weird...why would I BE here, BUYING these overpriced cards, if I didn't want to play? Well, I would find out...

 

So the line was long but by 2:50 we were seated and waiting. And waiting, and waiting. Next to us was the most adorable old lady who was so full of sass I wanted to hug her. (In other words, she was me in 30 years). For the purposes of this review, we will call her Cranky Granny. She was sitting with her 7 year old granddaughter and starting complaining about why Bingo wasn't starting. "Don't they know we have to get off the ship on Sunday?" she barked. "Oh sure, the only line on this ship they keep moving is the one where they COLLECT money!" And so on, and so on.

 

Finally at 3:45 I started to get annoyed. They did not appear even close to getting started. FInally some cruise employee got up onstage and said, "We have special entertainment for you...a passenger is going to SING!" My cute 75-year old neighbor said, "We're here for BINGO, not singing!" Preach it, Cranky Granny.

 

So some 12 year old gets onstage and starts singing Barbra Streisand. (You can't make this #$%@ up, you guys.) After a very long winded version of the song, I got up to see what the holdup was. The Bingo employees said, "Sorry it's taking so long but so many people still wanted to buy cards..." Ummm, what about the people who were here on TIME and want to get moving? "If you want a refund, you can get one," she told me. BLERG!

 

I sat back down and told Cranky Granny she could get a refund if she wanted to. She and her granddaughter promptly got up and left.

 

Then, head Bingo guy spent another 20 minutes trying to get all the electronic Bingo handhelds up and running. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

 

So probably at this point there are at least 120 people in the theatre, and these suckers are probably into Bingo for about $40/each. That's a LOT of cash they're pulling in. First game (straight Bingo) jackpot had two winners, maybe three, I think they split $450.

 

Second game (four corners) had one winner for $500.

 

Third game (X on card) started going. They tell you to stand up when you only need one number to Bingo.

 

...now let me pause here for a second to tell you how naive my kids are. They honestly BELIEVED we had a chance at winning. They really, truly, honestly thought we were going to win. Silly fools. But then, they called B6 and we were...ONE AWAY FROM THE FREE CRUISE!....

 

So we stand up. And sure enough...some other lady won the cruise. She was from Baltimore, and had a teenage son with her, and didn't even crack a smile. My daughter thought it was totally unfair that someone who didn't even WANT the cruise won. Why wasn't she smiling? Jumping up and down? Yelling?

 

But hey, at least playing was fun, right?

 

Uh, no. Not really. I would much rather have taken that $48 to the casino. Or used it for two overpriced glasses of wine at Vintages. Or ate another Chops filet. Or flushed it down the toilet, for that matter!

 

So...lesson learned on cruise Bingo. Although inexplicably, the kids thought it was terrific fun, and on second thought, if I hadn't spent that $48, I never would have met Cranky Granny, who I truly feel is my soul sister. So in hindsight, Bingo was totally worth it.

First, this review is awesome. Haha

 

Second, we always play Win a Cruise Bingo.. And In 2014 on Oasis we actually won! We used the free cruise to upgrade to a JS for a few hundred dollars on Adventure OTS Southern Caribbean. It was sweet! 😉

 

Typically they do run a bit late but that depends on ship... on Explorer last fall the employee in charge was very strict, and we started RIGHT on time (he said we didn't deserve to wait for late people, amen!).

 

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[jsjr]

The rest of the day consisted of: Barnes & Noble stop (we can never seem to have enough reading material)/dinner/hotel downtime/packing for the CRUISE the next day!

 

I sort of feel like I'm talking to myself in this review. Is anyone out there? Should I keep going?

 

 

 

 

Yes, yes, keep going. Love it!!!

[CruzieSue]

So I hesitated for about .1 second and then stuck my hand right in there and pulled it out.

 

As I read this I could hear the collective gasps from all around Cruise Critic :eek::eek::eek: Me, I was right there with you sister and am STILL laughing :'):');p !!! We need to schedule a "Fun with MicMacMissy" Cruise for all your fans !!!!

[poncho1973]

THWART THE CHAIR HOGS USING THE MMM Method (Micmacmissy Method):

1. Find chairs that are obviously not really, truly occupied. I picked a set of two that had a towel on one, and a Pepsi tshirt so old and dirty it was clearly a rag, but still had a crease in it and didn't look like it had been worn.

2. Ask adjacent lounge chair occupants politely, "Have you seen someone actually sitting here?" If it's a real chair hog seat, they will say no, I promise you.

3. Plop yourself down and use the chair. I neatly folded the towel and placed it next to the chair, and just tossed the Pepsi tshirt next to the chair.

4. The end. The chances of someone actually coming along to confront you are slim to none, because I promise you, these people are gone for HOURS.

 

MMM Method Variation: Once you have been in that chair for at least 30 minutes, take the towel and Pepsi tshirt over to the pool attendant and say, "Someone left these behind. Do you have a lost and found?" And they will take them and put them wherever that stuff goes.

 

MMM Method Emergency Plan: You've followed the method and moved someone's stuff aside, and they come along within 1-29 minutes and say, "Hey! You took my chair!" You say to them, "My gosh, I am so sorry. I didn't think anyone was sitting here." And then you get up and move quickly. (I have NEVER had to do this.)

 

MMM Method Emergency Plan #2: Someone comes along within 30 minutes to six hours and says, "Hey! You took my chair!" You say to them, "This chair was vacant when I got here two hours ago." Then you pick up your book, start to read, and the conversation is over. Over, you got it?! Meaning if they continue to rant and rave you ignore them. You don't respond. You just keep sitting. Calmly. (I had to do this once, on Independence.)

 

This is the Poncho method, too. Great work.

[BullDawg91]

As I read this I could hear the collective gasps from all around Cruise Critic :eek::eek::eek: Me, I was right there with you sister and am STILL laughing :'):');p !!! We need to schedule a "Fun with MicMacMissy" Cruise for all your fans !!!!

 

 

I sure as heck wouldn't be leaving my phone behind! I'm with y'all!

 

 

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[easyboy]

Very interesting to follow. Thanks.

[njmomof2]

We were also on the Allure with you. I didn't use too many of the public restrooms, but I didn't notice any unusual smell so maybe it was just certain ones.

 

We've sailed a number of ships, and I just don't really feel the disconnect from the water. We get an ocean view balcony, sit up in the solarium with a view and usually see the water from the dining room (plus if it's dark you don't see anything anyway).

 

Regardless, we still like Freedom more than the Oasis class ships. But we still had a good time.

[Elationismyship]

Come on! He's one of those weirdos who would prefer backpacking in a National Park somewhere, eating stew out of a can while sitting in the cold rain and harping on about nature and sunsets and fresh air. (He tried to ruin our entire cruise by reminding us that next spring break, we'll be in Yellowstone and Glacier National Parks, where I'm pretty sure there are no drink waiters, hot tubs, or Kate Spade shops.) I know, I know. My second husband will most definitely be less outdoorsy and more of a cruise lover. And independently wealthy. And will resemble David Beckham, but will be lazier and not as thin as David Beckham, because what girl wants a husband with a lower BMI than she has? And...wait, where was I????

I literally just spit my coffee out as I read this part! "He tried to ruin our entire cruise by reminding us that next spring break, we'll be in Yellowstone . . . . .that's funny!:')

[MartyM2]

I'm so glad you are writing this review. Not only is your style of writing very enjoyable to read, we will for the first time be taking a cruise on this ship in July. Our only experiences are with Princess and Celebrity and are very excited about sailing on the Allure but we are quite naive. I have booked the shows based on your recommendation. Thanks so much!

Edited April 28, 2017 by MartyM2
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