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DREAMing of my Honeymoon - review and pictures!

scuba_ninja

By scuba_ninja,
in Carnival Cruise Lines

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scuba_ninja

scuba_ninja

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Thank you for your response-maybe attendance for the deck parties and movies will be better on our spring break cruise! Hopefully it will be warm :D

 

I hope so! I bet I'd have enjoyed a little party time. They one party I did see that had a decent amount of people attend was the hairy chest contest. I stopped by for about 2 minutes on my way to something else (can't remember what any more) but it looked like people were having fun.

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scuba_ninja

scuba_ninja

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scuba_, this has to be one of the best reviews I've read. THANK YOU for the lovely photos and lively dialogue. I hope you cruise again soon and gift us with another fantastic review!

 

THANK YOU! It means a lot to me that people are enjoying the review. I want to give a little more than "cruise was bad. I got a drink that had 4 ice cubes but I specifically asked for 3, cleary this is an indication that carnival is cutting back and trying to screw us".

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scuba_ninja

scuba_ninja

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SCUBA diver, IT professional, certified supertaster, expert cruise reviewer, and poet laureate. Color me impressed. 😂

 

Thanks for the stellar review! It was hilarious and super helpful.

 

Hey, what can I say, I like to keep busy!

 

Thanks! I'm really pumped that so many of you have enjoyed the review!

 

Here's a bonus poem since you're enjoying my prose so much:

 

Roses are red, violets are blue

I hope you're enjoying this review

who knows, maybe one day I'll even be cruising with you!

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phinfan63

phinfan63

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OK, I'm going to show you the plate I ordered. And after that, let me please warn the ummm, sensitive amongst you that I'm about to get medieval on this "bbq". I ordered a sausage, some beef, pork, slaw and collards.

 

 

39825893211_cf29d09c46_h.jpg

 

OK. Let's talk. I know I'm going to make a lot of you mad, but here goes.

 

THIS IS NOT BBQ. THIS IS NOT GOOD. THIS WAS THE WORST MEAL I HAD ON THE SHIP. I Carried it up to my wife who was happily eating a burger. I took a few bites and went and ordered a burger. I'm not kidding, it was that bad. When I walked up to the BBQ and saw tons of plates strewn about on the tables, abandoned but still piled high with food, I should have known.

 

OK, haven't punched a hole in the screen yet and called me names? Let's discuss in detail.

 

1) The sausage was weirdly sweet, and very clearly made with cheap fillers and ground turkey. 100% positive about this. I'm a verified supertaster with a practiced palate. Ground turkey is one of my LEAST favorite flavors, I can pick it out with ease.

2) The beef was dry, flavorless and had no bark or even fake smoke ring (in competition, smoke ring is no longer judged because it's easy to fake with chemicals).

3) Pork was dry and flavorless.

4) Potato salad was.... bland. It was just there.

5) Collards were inedible. Horrendously undercooked and had zero flavor other than bitter.

6) The meat isn't smoked. Period. It's cooked in a sauce full of liquid smoke.

 

::sound of record player scratching to a halt:: #6 alone deserves some more explanation. See, liquid smoke itself is not the WORST sin in the book when it comes to large scale food production, but it IS when you are calling it BBQ. I can almost sort of excuse it when you're making beef jerky, or even a sauce of some kind. Some liquid smoke brands actually DO distill and filter smoke. It's a neat process actually, and it's made from, well, real wood smoke. No matter where it comes from, liquid smoke has a very distinct flavor and odor profile and it's all over this meat. It permeates it. Some people don't mind it, I can't stand it. LEGALLY, you can use the wording Carnival does to call their food "smoked". It's not smoked. I know, I know, "BUT LOOK AT THE SMOKERS BEHIND THE COUNTER". Yeah, guess what, THEY ARE NOT BEING USED FOR SMOKING!!!!!!!! Look, to actually smoke a brisket of the sizes they were slicing it would take almost 20 hours. I passed those smokers many, many times, hoping to catch them on. Nope. Never. What they do is a trick used by many cheap restaurants like Applebees. They fire up the smoker maybe an hour before service and finish the meat in there at high temps. Cheap trick, makes for lousy BBQ. Also, yes, DO look at the smokers. Look inside them. Notice how little buildup is on them. Sorry, Carnival's not doing a better job cleaning those than anything else on the ship.

 

 

7) I'm willing to accept that differences in suppliers, staff, etc might mean that the BBQ is better on some ship/sailings.

 

8) It's just not good. End of story. I've had better BBQ at Applebees. It's not tender, or smokey. Or even a good cut of meat.

 

9) Even knowing that the outdoor smokers were not on long enough, I WAS excited to try it, hoping that maybe they had some indoor ones in the galley. Nope.

 

10) The sauces that were availible were not terrible, but nothing to write home about.

 

OK, I know I've gotten under the skin for some of ya, I'm ready for battle!

 

I am from Memphis and we have some of the best bbq around - I had already decided to skip the ship bbq :-)

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Lounroxluv

Lounroxluv

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Absolutely loved the review!! I feel like the only thing missing was a picture of you and your wife. I want to see the faces behind the story. Felt like I could hear, see, smell, and and touch everything with you.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

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