Traveling With Ex Husband and Wife

[First-Due]

This ought to raise a few eyebrows! My wife and I got divorce last spring. We both knew it was time and thru in the towel. We are friends and both have moved on, me girlfriend her boyfriend. We are going on the NOS March 25th. We were scheduled to travel with a large group in Jan. but I hurt my back at work and required surgery so we had to cxl the Jan.14th sailing. She and her boyfriend wanted to rebook with me and my girlfriend instead of going on the 14th of Jan. for the 25th and said what the heck. We all talked about it and agreed. So I was wondering has anybody else traveled with their ex before??? AND NO THIS IS NOT A JERRY SPRINGER SHOW!!!!! No trailers etc, have all our teeth etc. All working profressionals!!!

[derekandkimberly]

JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY!!!! There just a swingin!!!:D jusk kiddin

[Happy ks]

The best part of my divorce was never having to see my ex again, that was 25 years ago and I'm still happy about it!

 

If you are fine with it, it is really no one elses business. I had a client once who's ex-wife attended the birth of his new wifes baby and said she felt like she became a grandma for the first time. Some people just have an easier time of moving on than others. Perhaps you and your ex should have just been friends all along.

 

Congratulations on your successful divorce :) .

[Dadcruiser]

My ex-wife is coming with me on the MOS this weekend. She and my mother are best friends and she and I are closer now that we are divorced! I always thought staying married for the kids was a mistake but getting along is better than constant fighting - My son knows we are never getting back together but we are still best friends. She is always included with my family at Christmas time and our first Christmas cruise is no different.

[ElvisandTracey]

Not me, but my cousin, to whom I am very close-

 

A few years ago, after like 30 years of marriage, she got a divorce and remarried-she was married very young (16) so even though she had been married so long, she was only in her mid-late 40's when she divorced and remarried, and had 2 kids, at the time her son was about 25, her daughter 16. Well, they live in Arizona, and the rest of the family in LA, so every year we meet in Vegas-the year she got divorced and remarried, she brought new husband and old husband to Vegas, with their 2 kids and her granddaughter. Two rooms, (room one wife and new hubby, room 2 old hubby, his 2 kids and granddaughter). but still strange to me.

 

While there were no problems, the rest of us felt kinda wierd, especially since I grew up with her first husband like a second dad, now all of a sudden he's out, and husband #2 is in, and the rest of the family much preferred #1 to #2-still do!!

 

I can't imagine that it wasn't uncomfortable for their kids, even though they were older, it's still their parents in a strange situation.

 

So I guess I could only tell you that you may be making others uncomfortable without even knowing it-I would never tell my cousin what to do, but I think she was crazy to get rid of her first husband, and none of us like the second one really, so we all felt odd having both on the trip together.

 

You should do whatever is comfortable for you, but I am just giving you the perspective for someone witnessing a similar situation.

 

Have a fun trip.

[firstcruise05]

I once had an aunt who got divorced...remarried...and all three of them lived together happily ever after. It was strange. They just got along great after the divorce and the ex and current husband got along great so the ex became a roommate. To each their own. BTW, they had all their teeth as well and were otherwise normal people but the whole thing started over the first couples son who had downs syndrome. It was easier to take care of him if they lived together but they weren't good as a "married" couple...they fought constantly. Once she found happiness with someone else, and he got his freedom back they lived together wonderfully. I'm sure it will work out just fine.

[Travelgrrl]

Not on a cruise (I don't think we would do well in captivity), but my ex-husband often will travel to my home state with me to spend Christmas with my family. Sometimes he evens takes the kids and visits without me!

 

Better than fighting, especially when there are children involved!

[slotaddict]

Never did a cruise with my ex husband but I don;t think it would bother me. We are friends now, not so in the beginning. Around the holidays and special occasions we are in each others company. We get along better now than we ever did when we were married. I am remarried and so is he, just one big happy family. LOL

[First-Due]

Thanks for the replies. We were married for 11 years, together for 15. We have each other since the mid eighties. We both agree probably should not have gotten married and were in just denial, but like I said we are fine and get along fine (all of us) Thanks and can't wait!!

[logan1_2000]

No, I did not title this "The Godfather" because I want to advise you to keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. I chose that title because my older sister left her 1st husband to move in w/ her 2nd (and 16 years later, still) husband:eek: (she had one child w/ #1) and when she and #2 had twins two years later, she named #1 Godfather to the twins, since (at the time) she didnt have complaints about him as a father and she knew he'd always be in her life as a result of their child together.

 

There was one time, logistically, that to avoid having two cars to drive home to NJ from CT (sister and #2 went to my mother's house on different days), #2 rode up to CT w/ #1, who was also making the trip to his mother the next town over.

 

Or the afternoon after the final divorce decree was issued for sis and #1--it was #1 who came over my parents house to see my dad, who was terminally ill at the time (oh, it was a lovely time, lemme tell ya, I barely remember that entire year). Or #1 and #2 chatting each other up about home repair or whatever after Dad's funeral, and everyone nodding in that direction and saying to me "say, um, isn't that..." "yep," I'd cut them off, "that's #1 and #2, they get along rather well."

 

Fast forward a dozen years. #1 takes sis to court to get their daughter to be living w/ him (served sis w/ papers right after daughter went to his house to spend the summer at camps and workshops in his area, all w/ sister's blessing). Daughter had just finished freshman year of h.s. Sheesh, she was such a pain in the patoot Sis would have said fine, let her terrorize and be a bad influence to your younger children w/ your wife and leave mine alone already, but no, she had to get a lawyer and emotionally re-litigate the whole mess.

 

So the next year I made a career change and now practice exclusively domestic relations law. glad for those in the examples who maintained friendly. they are far and away the exception. just got off a conference call about a major case at our firm--multi, multi millionaires--and it is still coming down to the pots and pans.

 

Me? I'm the only kid in my family w/o a divorce (other older sister currently in the midst of her 2nd divorce)--and if I ever get p.o.'d at DW I look around my office at all the files, ask myself if I want to be one of the people in those files, immediately realize the answer is "no", and then call and ask if i can take her and DS out somewhere so we wont have to cook or clean up.

[jaxboater]

I still cruise with my ex. sometimes.

 

Perhaps it's easier to cruise than remain married.

 

BTW due to snoring one of us sleeps on the couch (she snores not me - I'm prefect :).

[Guest cruzr44]

This ought to raise a few eyebrows! My wife and I got divorce last spring. We both knew it was time and thru in the towel. We are friends and both have moved on, me girlfriend her boyfriend. We are going on the NOS March 25th. We were scheduled to travel with a large group in Jan. but I hurt my back at work and required surgery so we had to cxl the Jan.14th sailing. She and her boyfriend wanted to rebook with me and my girlfriend instead of going on the 14th of Jan. for the 25th and said what the heck. We all talked about it and agreed. So I was wondering has anybody else traveled with their ex before??? AND NO THIS IS NOT A JERRY SPRINGER SHOW!!!!! No trailers etc, have all our teeth etc. All working profressionals!!!

 

Only on Cape Cod (j/k).... My friends SIL is now his DIL, and my sister is really good friends with her ex and his new wife. All is good.... You all have a great time!

[DocJohnB]

I have always wanted to see and meet people such as you and your ex. This is not a joke.

 

Why does divorce have to be ugly.

 

I, like most of us have, friends who have divorced and it is like Hiroshima all over again. I have also had friends who have divorced and remained friends.

 

IMO, the latter is really the way to go.

 

I have Never, ever understood the animosity that seems to go with divorces. C'mon folks, you tried it, you failed, screw it. Get on with your lives.

 

You all can go on and about pre nuptials, how she/he screwed you, etc., etc., etc. But the bottom line is get the ***** over it.

 

Kids, ahhhhhhh, now that is a different story. Just why do they have to be used as pawns in a detiorating relationship. Get over it folks. Give your kids space to breath.

 

Over my many years I have looked on detiorating marriages and wondered "How could they let it get this far" She wants this, he wants that. He did this, she did that. It is assinine. You know, "screw it".

 

Now, my bride and I have done 40+ years together. There have been times when I could have chucked her under the wheels of the nearest semi (and recently at that). Yet, we have always "got over it".

 

Screwing around on your spouse. OK, fine, dump the Ahole. But why, why, drag it and them on and on and on. Get over it.

 

Getting on to First-Due: You go for it guy. If you and your wife are that comfortable (and you should be) - then my thought is go for it. You and the ex and your SO's should have a great time as long as you and the ex keep the attitude I read that you have.

[margaritagal]

I date my ex husband. We get along so much better now that we aren't married and don't live together! We cruised last Dec. and are cruising again in Jan. We do motorcycle rallies during the summer & go to warm places in the winter. Who says divorce is bad?????

[manitoba girl]

After thirteen years of marriage I wised up to what Domestic violence was and kicked him out!!!!!I would Never Ever go on a cruise with him.That is what the three restraining orders are for.Besides as soon a customs key in his name at our Airports CPIC would send him to Jail...there is a warrant out for his arrest...

I know that this is not the norm but I think neither is travelling with your ex I must say you have alot of strength that I would not have. I think it would be really hard to see someone that I loved for so long on the arm of another person and then even harder watching them head off to their cabin together to" retire" for the night.

Best of luck to you

[DocJohnB]

After thirteen years of marriage I wised up to what Domestic violence was and kicked him out!!!!!I would Never Ever go on a cruise with him.That is what the three restraining orders are for.Besides as soon a customs key in his name at our Airports CPIC would send him to Jail...there is a warrant out for his arrest...

I know that this is not the norm but I think neither is travelling with your ex I must say you have alot of strength that I would not have. I think it would be really hard to see someone that I loved for so long on the arm of another person and then even harder watching them head off to their cabin together to" retire" for the night.

Best of luck to you

 

Unfortunately Manitoba girl, you got one of the sh***. There are a lot of guys and gals out there who just basically screwed up when they got married. The old man was not an abuser, the gal was not a slut, or vice versa. They just should not have gotten married. They split up and, guess what, they can and do remain friends.

 

In your case, absolutely,it is not possible . . . and we all understand that. In your case the farther the distance, the better . . . . but in some (or a lot of) cases, animosity does not reign.

 

Unfortunately, it does seem when kiddies are involved, it does reign.

[manitoba girl]

That is so true!!!

[Patfan]

I have a family member that has been married 4 times #1 and 3 were the same guy and remained best of friends forever. Who cares as long as you are ok with it. I don't see a problem.

[jcanino]

AND NO THIS IS NOT A JERRY SPRINGER SHOW!!!!! No trailers etc, have all our teeth etc. All working profressionals!!!

 

Of course it isn't. It this were the Jerry Springer Show, all four of you would be sharing an Inside Cabin. :D

[emilygrace]

DH and I get along famously with his ex-wife and her husband. If she and I had met before any marriages entered the picture we would probably have become good friends because we have a lot in common. Her second husband is so much like DH we all sort of wondered why did she ever want a divorce? I guess she needed those in between years of being on her own. Anyway, I could see taking a cruise with them, but it isn't likely to happen since they LIVE on a boat!

[Cruisechick82]

I think it's great that you are able to all get along. Have a great cruise and don't worry about what others thing of your unique situation.

[slotaddict]

After thirteen years of marriage I wised up to what Domestic violence was and kicked him out!!!!!I would Never Ever go on a cruise with him.That is what the three restraining orders are for.Besides as soon a customs key in his name at our Airports CPIC would send him to Jail...there is a warrant out for his arrest...

I know that this is not the norm but I think neither is travelling with your ex I must say you have alot of strength that I would not have. I think it would be really hard to see someone that I loved for so long on the arm of another person and then even harder watching them head off to their cabin together to" retire" for the night.

Best of luck to you

 

Domestic Violence is another matter. I am not divorced from my first husband bc of domestic violence. Where DV is concerned, I would stay as far away as I could. I would see him never. And on a cruise ship no way, to many decks to go over, if you get my "drift". Spouses that are guilty of DV are control freaks, if they can;t have you no one will. That is certainly not my situation. We were just very, very young to take on the responsibility of a home and kids. We'll I wasn;t he was. I married him when I was 21 which is practically unheard of today. The kids today are much smarter and wait to marry.

[wolfcathorse]

My wife and I got divorce last spring. So I was wondering has anybody else traveled with their ex before???

 

Can you spell M-A-S-O-C-H-I-S-T??? :D J/K!

[dogsrule]

No Way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!;)

[SunnieD]

In my case the ex-husband was not the problem, it was the new girlfriend now wife. She is a little younger and very insecure. I have been remarried for ten years and she has been around for three of them. She has always thought that I look back with lust, when really it is just pity. I say why can't we all get along? My husband and I welcome them to our home for my oldest son's sake, but other than that, I would probably never have seen him again. The thought of her being on the same ship....

BLECCHH, YUCK...not a vacation.