Ascot Ball

[Slow Foxtrot]

I am most re-assured to know that others find this whole idea of an Ascot Ball beyond belief.

It sounds like a good evening for my wife and I to order room service and curl up in our balcony cabin with a good book.

 

 

 

"Well, Old Boy, if you think the Ascot Ball is beyond belief, wait 'till you've seen the Masked Ball. On the face of it, looking at one's fellow passengers, one would think that the masks would come as a welcome relief! But it's easy to put one's foot in it (so to speak) - I complimented one very distinguished lady on her mask and she indignantly told me that she wasn't wearing one! So, far safer to have a few snifters in the Commodore Club and let them all get on with it"

[pnhmrk]

I complimented one very distinguished lady on her mask and she indignantly told me that she wasn't wearing one! So, far safer to have a few snifters in the Commodore Club and let them all get on with it

 

:D Could the mistaken mask be the result of "a few snifters"?:D

[Slow Foxtrot]

:D Could the mistaken mask be the result of "a few snifters"?:D

 

 

"Perish the thought sir. However, perhaps that couple of bottles of red whilst dining in the Grill may have been a contributory factor. Incidentally, never attempt the Slow Foxtrot whilst under the influence -unless you wish to be confused with Charlie Chaplin. The Cruise Director nearly booked me for the cabaret!

[pnhmrk]

The Cruise Director nearly booked me for the cabaret!

 

You should have let him - Cunard may pay "slave wages" but it would have helped to provide more wine.

[travel-to-go]

"Well, Old Boy, if you think the Ascot Ball is beyond belief, wait 'till you've seen the Masked Ball. On the face of it, looking at one's fellow passengers, one would think that the masks would come as a welcome relief! But it's easy to put one's foot in it (so to speak) - I complimented one very distinguished lady on her mask and she indignantly told me that she wasn't wearing one! So, far safer to have a few snifters in the Commodore Club and let them all get on with it"

 

Somehow, SFT, I can just imagine you congratulating fat women on their pregnancies! (I'll save you the trouble- No, I'm just fat! <G>)

 

As for the cabaret thing, I think I'd rather watch your slow drunken foxtrot than Rock at the Opera again! <EG>

 

Karie, Who was not impressed with Cunard's entertainment. But had a FABULOUS mask!

[Slow Foxtrot]

Somehow, SFT, I can just imagine you congratulating fat women on their pregnancies! (I'll save you the trouble- No, I'm just fat!) <G>)

As for the cabaret thing, I think I'd rather watch your slow drunken foxtrot than Rock at the Opera again! <EG>

 

 

"Gosh Karie, how could you suggest such a terrible thing? - surely you know that I'm renowned for my discretion. And there's no need to tell us all that you're fat - it's not yet a capital offence (although with all these health freaks about it might soon be). Perhaps we are more enlightened on this side of the Atlantic. For instance, I know a number of fellow huntsmen who are constantly fantasising about women with, er, the fuller figure. In fact I'm quite partial myself. Do you dance, by the way? I could use someone of robust build to hold me up! - especially at the Ascot Ball.

[travel-to-go]

"Gosh Karie, how could you suggest such a terrible thing? - surely you know that I'm renowned for my discretion. And there's no need to tell us all that you're fat - it's not yet a capital offence (although with all these health freaks about it might soon be). Perhaps we are more enlightened on this side of the Atlantic. For instance, I know a number of fellow huntsmen who are constantly fantasising about women with, er, the fuller figure. In fact I'm quite partial myself. Do you dance, by the way? I could use someone of robust build to hold me up! - especially at the Ascot Ball.

Who, you?!? Never!

I actually had that happen to me once. I still feel sorry for the girl today. I had been severely underweight due to an illness. Much prednisone later, my belly stuck out, though the rest of me was normal-sized- This is one of the ways prednisone puts on weight- belly and upper arsms seem to be the first places. Someone I hadn't seen in a long time, saw me coming in through two sets of double glass doors. She pointed to my belly, smiled, and nodded! I gave a sad look, and shook my head! Poor thing, I really did look about 8 1/2 months along! Especially with skinny legs and face!

 

Dance? Oh, would that I could! I love to dance. Between the knees, hips, lungs, feet and teeth (Not really- I just threw that one in there! <G>) Well, I could stand there and you could hang on for dear life! I once did a swing dance with a friend. We were really moving! I was having a terrible time with my asthma and couldn't catch my breath. Of course, he couldn't tell, and just kept swing me to beat the band! (Well, actually I think we stayed about even with the band, unlike a slow foxtrot!) Marc and I are considering doing the Arthur Murray thing to see if it might be fun exercise and help me with my breathing. Of course, a waltz (and maybe a slow foxtrot) is about all I could manage!

 

And about those hunstmen friends? Do give them my number dear! <G>

 

Karie,

Who is glad Marc loves me the way I am- whatever way that is!

[Slow Foxtrot]

Dance? Oh, would that I could! I love to dance. Well, I could stand there and you could hang on for dear life! I once did a swing dance with a friend. We were really moving! I was having a terrible time with my asthma and couldn't catch my breath. Of course, he couldn't tell, and just kept swing me to beat the band!

And about those hunstmen friends? Do give them my number dear! <G>

Karie,

 

 

"Ummm, I'd noticed that you Americans have some extraordinary dances, most of them unknown to the civilised West. All these Hustles, Smooths, Lindy Hops, West Coast Swings and all the rest of it; truth to tell, the last time I saw anything similar was when I was working with the Diplomatic Corps in the Belgian Congo. Still, 'chacun a son gou' as Livingstone said to the cannibal. Perhaps that's why they don't do the Military Two Step on the QM2 - great pity! Nevertheless, take up dancing by all means - you will find that it fends off all sorts of maladies. Be warned, however, never attempt the Slow Foxtrot after two bottles of claret. It doesn't pay! Incidentally, the huntsmen are forming an orderly queue!

[travel-to-go]

"Ummm, I'd noticed that you Americans have some extraordinary dances, most of them unknown to the civilised West. Be warned, however, never attempt the Slow Foxtrot after two bottles of claret. It doesn't pay! Incidentally, the huntsmen are forming an orderly queue!

 

Does the slow foxtrot pay sans the claret? Or does it take three bottles before it pays? Wow! Who knew you could make money at this!

 

Hmm, Someone asked about San Diego? Isn't that where they invented the Tijuana two step? Using a six-shooter to teach the finer art of lifting one's feet high? Then there's the goose step. If you've ever been in a park full of grazing geese, you will know how to do this (Gingerly!). And if you misstep, there is the goose step slip-slide, which can be most acrobatic and comical, at the same time-If one is being chased by the gendarmes at the time, it could result in one's goose being cooked! Usually though, if huntsmen are around, it is followed by roast goose.

 

DAMMIT, FST! I asked for HUNTSMEN, not ORDERLIES! What will I do with a queue full of bloody tired and ill-paid orderlies?

 

Karie,

who sits here stamping her foot in a pique, or if on a mountain top, perhaps on a peak! Or with eyes closed, maybe with a peek!

Nope. Not language challenged at all!

[Slow Foxtrot]

DAMMIT, FST! I asked for HUNTSMEN, not ORDERLIES! What will I do with a queue full of bloody tired and ill-paid orderlies?

Karie,

 

 

"That's up to the imagination Karie. Okay, you wouldn't get quality, but at least you'd get quantity. And, according to my stable girls, that's just what the female sex want nowadays. Based on my observations at the REAL Ascot Ball they are probably right!"

[merryecho]

Sorry to interrupt the levity, but I need to ask a question. From reading this post, I understand that one is to wear silly hats only to the Ascot ball, correct? I have a wonderful huge hat I bought in London a few years ago, which I rarely have opportunity to wear in America. It would be perfect for race day at Ascot, but not, I take it, at the shipboard ball.

[travel-to-go]

Sorry to interrupt the levity, but I need to ask a question. From reading this post, I understand that one is to wear silly hats only to the Ascot ball, correct? I have a wonderful huge hat I bought in London a few years ago, which I rarely have opportunity to wear in America. It would be perfect for race day at Ascot, but not, I take it, at the shipboard ball.

If it's perfect for the Ascot races, IMHO< it's perfect for the ball! That's the point, to wear hats like the ladies do at the races!

Bring it. You won't be sorry!

And if you can get on with hatbox in hand, preferably also with a dyed pink poodle, you'll look just like those silly girls travelling a few decades ago! <G>

 

Karie, who brought MARVELOUS hats, plumage, ribbons, ricrac, gold beaded decorations, and so much more to create her finest millinary, then we did not have an Ascot ball.

But I did wear one or two of my good hats on formal nighst, and got lots f nice compliments.

[SeaFlint]

I think somewhere in our documents I read of a Pirate's Ball. My kids are planning to steal knives and makes swords out of them (well, maybe not) and I'm packing my eyepatch. I would bet my 5-year-old daighter will head to the Ascot Ball - or at least to the hat-making part.

[Slow Foxtrot]

If it's perfect for the Ascot races, ... it's perfect for the ball! That's the point, to wear hats like the ladies do at the races!

Bring it. You won't be sorry!

 

---------------------------

 

 

"Would just mention, Karie, that no lady is admitted to the Royal Enclosure at Ascot without a hat! Not only that, the hat must cover 'the crown of her head'. The men, with the odd exception for the military and Johnny Foreigner, must all wear Morning Dress with Top Hat. Before 1955, all divorcees were barred, and even today gaining admission is nigh on impossible. It's as well Cunard does not impose similar restrictions on the shipboard Ascot Ball, otherwise the band would be playing to a near empty floor!"

[Colin_Cameron]

It's as well Cunard does not impose similar restrictions on the shipboard Ascot Ball, otherwise the band would be playing to a near empty floor!"

Maybe if they did we'd have the space for a decent slow foxtrot.

[Slow Foxtrot]

Maybe if they did we'd have the space for a decent slow foxtrot.

 

-----------------------------

 

"That would be wonderful - and even better if the band/orchestra played it at the right tempo!"

[Colin_Cameron]

-----------------------------

 

"That would be wonderful - and even better if the band/orchestra played it at the right tempo!"

Can't say I've ever had a problem with that. But it may say more about my dancing than it does about their playing.

 

Colin.

[travel-to-go]

---------------------------

 

 

"Would just mention, Karie, that no lady is admitted to the Royal Enclosure at Ascot without a hat! Not only that, the hat must cover 'the crown of her head'. The men, with the odd exception for the military and Johnny Foreigner, must all wear Morning Dress with Top Hat. Before 1955, all divorcees were barred, and even today gaining admission is nigh on impossible. It's as well Cunard does not impose similar restrictions on the shipboard Ascot Ball, otherwise the band would be playing to a near empty floor!"

 

Oh dear!

I am quite known for my hats- Well, at least I used to be. I used to have a genuine Stetson, bought at the factory!

But I am afraid I am a divorcee- not a gay one, Maybe just mildly happy at times.

 

In fact, Marc and I have been together for 17 or 18 years. I was only married for 8! (And knew my hib for about 5 years before we married)

 

Karie, Who's been there, done that vis a vis marriage. No need. Didn't thrill me, why screw up a perfectly good relationship?

[Slow Foxtrot]

Oh dear! I am quite known for my hats- Well, at least I used to be. I used to have a genuine Stetson, bought at the factory!

 

 

I'm sure there will be no problem wearing the Stetson to the QM 2 Ascot Ball, although the matching six-shooters may cause a little controversy. To get past the gate-man at the real Ascot Ball you would probably need to cover your Stetson with ten pounds of assorted fresh fruit - a la Carmen Miranda!

In this case, beware of avian attack from above.