How rude can passengers be?

[Happy ks]

Some very interesting observations here.

 

I still have hope for the vast majority, because the polite are just not noticed, while rude behavior is remembered for a long time.

 

We have witnessed our fair share of all that has been mentioned here. While I always try to be polite, I'm sure I've done things at times that have been perceived as rude. On our last cruise, we stepped into line to be seated for breakfast, after a couple of minutes a woman in front of me was talking to the man behind me. I turned and allowed him in front of me, apologizing that I was in between them. After we were seated (fortunately not with this couple) my husband told me that the guy had been glaring at me, very angry. While I'm sure he could have assumed I butted in front of him, an "excuse me" would have helped. So, who was rude here? Was it me, butting in front of him (although I had no idea I'd done it), or him, glaring at me without giving me the benefit of the doubt(although he had no idea that I hadn't intentionally done so)?

 

Bad manners are nothing new and not exclusive to any age group. It would be lovely if people treated everyone else the same way they would like to be treated.

 

To the woman who has 2 children in wheelchairs, I completely understand your experience. I work with the disabled and it is astonishing how many people treat wheelchairs as an inconvenience to them, all the while avoiding any eye contact. I now make it a point to say hello to everyone in a wheelchair and acknowledge them before the person pushing the chair. My husband and I will even block able bodied to allow passage of wheelchairs, scooters or any other type of hardship with movement. I think people have no idea how they are perceived in these situations and I am grateful that I have been educated.

 

To the teen who has been treated as if she has no manners, I've got 2 teens myself and it is appalling how they have been treated (unfairly) in the past. The worst of it is, it has been from the elderly, who assume they should be respected by these same youths.

 

True manners and grace have to be learned and I believe it is never too late.

[madelinerose]

Too bad you didn't tell her that. ;)

 

I might be a bit biased, but her 15 minute loud conversation was much more disturbing than our 15 seconds of laughter.

[Murphey]

There just seems to be an "air of entitlement" around people these days. When some of us wish for the "grand old days" of cruising, it seemed like manners oozed from everyone on board...that's one of the reasons cruising was so elegant. I'm afraid that's slipping away.....btw, I'm only 51 and I loved those early cruises!!!!

[WCAB]

This is a very simple test I use to gage someones character and rudeness level and I bet these same people are the ones we see on the cruise ship.

My personal test is done at the grocery store and noting the people that return their carts to a designated area or leave the cart in the parking space, for someone else to put away. I really hope these people stay away from my cruise because I bet they are the ones running ahead of me to get on the elevator.

 

Carol

[bdjam]

What the rude among us don’t understand is how much more accommodating the crew can be if you treat them with respect, humanity and a little thankfulness. Just asking how their day is going is enough to get them on your side – showing a little interest in them personally, instead of demanding from them. Treat them the way you want to be treated.

It’s like magic, and makes the cruise experience so much more enjoyable.

[Saga Ruby]

"The true test of class is how you treat someone who cannot possibly do you any good." From an unknown source.

 

Yes, there is an air of entitlement nowadays from the strangest sources. Now that I'm 62, I am disappointed to see how my age group and older can at times be pointedly rude and sometimes just plain mean. Perhaps a lifetime of disappointment has resulted in an attitude of bitterness. What a sad way to live.

 

Before I went to Paris for a week last July, I was consistently told that the French would take out their ire on me being an American. It never happened. I believe that you get "nice" back and, when I look in the mirror, I want to see a kind soul, not someone who has a PhD in "mean."

 

I'm sorry to say that, as an Old Guard cruiser since the 50s, I find that the shorter the cruise, the higher the ratio of bad manners with Spring Break cruises being the epitome of low manners. I cruise less often but for longer itineraries with hope of finding that elegance you so rightly talked about.

 

The grocery cart test is exquisite and spot-on! Good one, Carol!

 

Woodskeeper - keep the faith and a gentle heart. You were right about everything you said. Rude is rude at any age level.

 

Ruby

[vanessa_steve]

Seeing as how July will be the first cruise for my DH and I, I cannot comment on the behavior of people onboard the ships. However, this is a subject that I grapple with more often than I would like, so I thought I would contribute to this subject.

 

It's amazing how easy it is to share a little bit of kidness with someone, to say please and thank you, excuse me, and to defer the right of way to someone who needs it more (ie waiting for another elevator or taking the stairs when a person with disabilities is also waiting). This is something I am conscious of in my everyday life, when I am stressed out and constantly in a hurry. Why should it be less so when I am on vacation?

 

Have I ever complained about poor service? Sure I have. But there is a difference between trying to rectify a bad situation constructively and demeaning a person simply because you are dissatisfied. I have worked in customer service in one respect or another for many years, and I have always found that people who yell or are rude rarely get any kind of resolution (assuming that they could even BE satisfied in the first place), whereas someone who lodges a legitimite complaint in a calm manner will always get further.

 

I always wonder what percentage of "rude" people are unaware that they are being rude and what percentage know that they are being rude or selfish and just don't care. Do you think that people are more rude in "real life," during the hustle and bustle of their everyday life, or do you think that more people feel a sense of entitlement on their vacation? Of course, while we cruisers are on vacation, the crew are in the midst of the hustle and bustle of their everyday/real life. :) Just something to think about....

 

By the way, I don't believe that people, for the most part, are either "rude" or "not rude." I think that there is a sliding scale of behavior. Don't get me started, I was a sociology major in college. :D

 

JMHO,

Vanessa

[Quilting_Cruiser]

This is a very simple test I use to gage someones character and rudeness level and I bet these same people are the ones we see on the cruise ship.

My personal test is done at the grocery store and noting the people that return their carts to a designated area or leave the cart in the parking space, for someone else to put away. I really hope these people stay away from my cruise because I bet they are the ones running ahead of me to get on the elevator.

 

Carol

 

 

Carol, I've always done that, too. Too funny! However, please don't come to Portland to where I'm grocery shopping. I recently (last September) injured my back and hip. I'm in severe pain, so just going to the grocery store is a challenge. By the time I've done my shopping and emptied my cart into my car, I sometimes leave it there because I'm in too much pain to walk the cart to the designated return area if it's very far away. Even when I do that, I feel guilty. But, I now don't jump to the conclusion that it's a character issue anymore!

 

I've been amazed on our previous cruises at times with how rude some people can be. I don't think it's a change in behavior because someone's on vacation. I think it's more likely if they're rude on the cruise, they're rude in everyday life.

 

Besides the elevator problem--people rushing on in front of you even though you were there first--for me it's people who think they're the only one's in the dining room. You know the type, they're incredibly loud and oblivious to those around them. There was a large family sitting near us on our Alaska cruise and they were sooooo loud--whether it was just talking (I've never heard people talk so loudly--they weren't mad, just loud) with each other or yelling at their kids (which they did a lot!)! It was difficult to talk with the others at our table and disturbing to those around them. They didn't seem to notice at all.

 

So, here's to some polite cruising!!

 

Jayne

[mariakitty]

Carol, I pass your grocery cart test. Wheww! :) My husband and I have been appalled at some of the behavior we see on cruise ships, but it isn't much different than the behavior we see in students at the college where we work. Manners just do not seem to matter anymore and it's quite sad. I teach business classes and try to stress politeness in communication, but you would not believe the comments I get from students especially at test time when their grade is my fault!

 

But I digress....you will be happy to know that we are raising our little boys to use their manners and to be respectful. Our 3-year old always says thank you, though sometimes he gets a bit confused and says "you're welcome" instead! hehe They are future cruisers too!

[SwKnight]

I’ve cut out some of your post for brevity, but I did want to comment.

 

I’ve been accused of blindly supporting the crew on cruise ships, but this is exactly the reason. You are absolutely correct. Every crew member on board a ship is trained to provide the utmost in service, but then they are beaten down day after day by rude, demanding and ill mannered passengers. I’ve seen crew members reduced to tears by passengers who choose to berate them because they can. The horrible part of it is that the passengers seem to take delight in what they’ve done. Some passengers think because they’ve paid for their vacation, they deserve everything immediately upon demand. They don’t seem to realize there are on average 2500 other passengers on board who have also paid for their vacation.

 

On a recent thread about an “arrogant” (the poster’s word, not mine) Matre’d, I was pounced on because I suggested that he might have had a difficult day dealing with demanding passengers. I stick to that supposition – no one on a Princess ship who has front-line interaction with passengers is there because they’ve demonstrated they can only be rude.

 

And just for the record, I do think there are as many non-rude passengers as there are rude…it’s just the rude ones are much more obvious. Some of them carry it around like a trophy.

 

So right and so sad. Those people get exactly out of life what they put into life. They reap what they sowed. Another sad thing is that some people start a fight to gain something like not paying a tip for services rendered.

 

50 to 40 years ago the public policed manners because they were considered valuable to the society as a whole. Now with the run-a-way morals, ethics and values shown nightly on T.V. and movies - they have reaped what they sown.

 

As a policeman I remember trying to be nice and JUST warn people for traffic violations only to find they were extremely rude - so I wrote them a citation. This happened about 75% of the time, unbelieveable. Now being THIS TYPE of rude will cost you about $500 in California - if you are lucky.

 

They reap what they sow.

[DesrtDrmr]

I agree with seeing so many fellow passengers that are rude, both to other passengers and to the employees of the ship. It is hard to believe that so many people think they are so "special"! (I know, I know........it's "my" vacation) We had one interesting person at a table next to us on the AOS a few years ago. He wasn't loud, he just came to every meal, formal or informal, with his t-shirt, baseball cap and headphones on, and proceeded to "dine" in this elegant ensemble!!! Why is it that some guys think that they should leave their baseball cap on indoors? Not to mention the head phones............I felt sorry for the people at his table, but I think he must have been related to one or more of them. I did notice that, by the end of that week, there were very few people at that large table. I still don't know why he wasn't stopped at the door by the Maitre'd. I once saw a person asked to leave the dining room while wearing shorts on a formal night, and applauded that Maitre'd. Obviously, not on the same ship as the above.

[bishop35]

Also, what is it with people not being able to use a handkerchief/tissue - the sound of someone honking like a pig whilst you are trying to eat is repulsive.

 

I think blowing your nose at the table in public is gross. If I have to blow my nose in a restaurant, I will go to the restroom where it belongs. It seems, at least in my part of the country, that it is a tradition to blow your nose right after you finish eating. Usually right after I get my food and I am taking my first bite. What an appetite killer. Then they have to look at it, " WOW:eek: , that one was a doozy!" Some people just have no manners, and it seems to be worse at a buffet.

[kruisey]

There are some fellow passengers thank goodness few and far between that you can say "Good Morning' to. with a nice.:) ...they just look at one like this:( and walk by

[Nancyquilts]

"I have seen hundreds of people stand in the sun for hours in line, rather than give a porter $5-10 and by-pass the long line outside the cruise center building." from a previous poster.

 

And since when is bribing a porter to let you jump the line more polite than waiting with everyone else? The sense of entitlement of some people really amazes me. Nancy

[Nliedel]

I've seen rude behavior from all stripes, affluent, and people on the other end. It's an attitude of entitlement that crosses racial and class barriers. On the other hand, I've seen wonderful people of all demographics be just a joy to exist in the world with.

[bdjam]

We had one interesting person at a table next to us on the AOS a few years ago. He wasn't loud, he just came to every meal, formal or informal, with his t-shirt, baseball cap and headphones on, and proceeded to "dine" in this elegant ensemble!!!

Yeah – rudeness comes in many forms.

[jlp20]

>>>"I have seen hundreds of people stand in the sun for hours in line, rather than give a porter $5-10 and by-pass the long line outside the cruise center building." from a previous poster.

 

And since when is bribing a porter to let you jump the line more polite than waiting with everyone else? The sense of entitlement of some people really amazes me. Nancy

 

 

Sorry, but that was not the case. Two separate lines. One for passengers hauling their own bags and one for porters going to and from the drop off point. These folks were just plain cheap.

 

If you have the time, entire review is here:

http://www.seacruisereviews.com/bycruisereview.asp?cruiseid=1215

[Ula]

I think many just focus on the negative and not the positive. I like to take away from a cruse the wonderful young and old people I have met and focus on that. That is what I choose to remember.

I had the nicest email today. I had written some friends that our most senior rescue dog will have lived with us 13 years, he is about 15 in age. One responded from a cruise in Hawaii on Pride of America. Having a great time there. But I was shoot you did not have to respond or wait till you got home. They were in Maui.

I think there are many nice people in this world. It is the rude that get talked about.

[Ethel5]

What the rude among us don’t understand is how much more accommodating the crew can be if you treat them with respect, humanity and a little thankfulness. It’s like magic, and makes the cruise experience so much more enjoyable.

 

There should be a page in the cruise answer book on how to treat the crew. I have seen crew treated miserably by those who should know better. On the other hand, I have been treated to some wonderful service by great crew because I took the time to ask how their day was going or if they were getting shore leave or how the family back home was etc. I had one steward lend us his binoculars for the entire cruise; another ran back to his quarters to give us a gift of post cards from his country; another was eager to show us pictures of his new baby. All this happened because I was truly interested in them.

[T&J]

Unfortunately, cruising is becoming more and more common and is turning into a "Commodity" more than ever "Everyone" can practically afford to cruise, therefore you will get all kinds that travel not just on ships but everywhere else as well. Rudeness does come in many forms, shapes and sizes. I am currently continuing my second cruise on the Pacific Princess and this new cruise that I am on the passenger demographics has chnaged a lot from the previous one. Much more rude people so far on this sailing that I have noticed and it's only day 2 compared to the last one which was 12 days from Osaka to Beijing. My saying is..."you should treat people as you would like to be treated"Tony

[irisheileen]

Has anyone else observed that as a group, Alaska passengers are a little different from other itineraries?

 

I have seen hundreds of people stand in the sun for hours in line, rather than give a porter $5-10 and by-pass the long line outside the cruise center building.

 

At the Horizon Court, on five occasions I have seen pax squirreling away large amounts of food into bags and purses.

 

Rude, gruff, inconsiderate behavior was common not rare.

 

My own theory is that a lot of fixed income folk scrimp and save to do this cruise. When they finally make it onto the ship, their learned behavior of penny pinching cannot be forgotten.

 

I have taken a slice of ham and a roll and maybe a piece of fruit from the breakfast buffet. I'll put it in a small zip-lock bag for a lunch on the beach. I don't see anything wrong with it and wouldn't term it rude behavior. I've paid for it. What's the difference between having room service make a sandwich and taking it ashore, and making your own?

 

The other posts, however, follow in the rude behavior.

[ladysheri]

I too just got off of the Diamond and had a completely different experience. Other than our whale watching expedition (which included Holland America passengers as well), I saw absolutely NO rude behavior at all. Passengers were friendly, talkative, and helpful to others when someone needed help. I have never been on a vacation where everyone was so kind....I attributed part of that to the incredible weather we had on the entire trip. And the crew on the Diamond were so friendly, thoughtful, and kind. Sorry you saw a different picture.

[jlp20]

>>> I have taken a slice of ham and a roll and maybe a piece of fruit from the breakfast buffet. I'll put it in a small zip-lock bag for a lunch on the beach. I don't see anything wrong with it…..

 

Yes, I agree with you. On our last cruise, before changing out of the nice clothes and putting the bags out, I made a run to Lido and gathered the goodies to make sandwiches. We ate what we took. A nice calm evening eating, packing and watching a movie on the laptop.

 

In my original post, I was talking about a couple who walked out of Horizon with at least two dozen black bread rolls, all that was in the basket. Another occasion had a woman walking away with two platters heaped, at least three inches high, of shrimp and sushi. In these cases, the amount of food couldn’t be eaten in I two days by the person taking it. If they sat down at a table, ate it all and went back for seconds I wouldn’t care. However the odds are high it all ended up in the trash latter that day. AND MY TICKET COST A COUPLE OF CENTS MORE DUE TO THE WASTE. Multiply this by a couple of hundred and you see we are all paying extra dollars for this practice.

[bdjam]

I have taken a slice of ham and a roll and maybe a piece of fruit from the breakfast buffet. I'll put it in a small zip-lock bag for a lunch on the beach. I don't see anything wrong with it and wouldn't term it rude behavior. I've paid for it. What's the difference between having room service make a sandwich and taking it ashore, and making your own?

I hope you checked the agricultural rules before removing food from the ship – often times it’s against the law to take food off the ship into port. And really the proper thing to do would be to eat it on board, rather than packing a lunch to take off at the buffet – that’s not really the purpose of the buffet, is it?

[Dena]

My 7 year old will point and say loudly "That lady did not say thank you Mommy" to which I can always respond "maybe her Mommy did not teach her to be nice"

 

seems to get the point accross...and serves to make other people within earshot chuckle...:D

 

By the time I was 7, my parents had taught me not to point at people and loudly critique their behavior.:eek: