Anniversary Celebration....what do you think?

[HeatherInFlorida]

I find it all very amusing. But most important I want to see a gold star by Superstein's name for behaving so well.;)

[gizmo]

I say leave it alone. There is no bashing taking place and it gets interesting at times. Sometimes it reminds me of 2 lawyers going at it in a court room.

[CamelliaCity]

for providing me a day or so of humor! It's strange to think that this thread really is real. It's more like a cartoon.

I have spent the last 22 days sleeping on a recliner in a hospital and then a hospice house for the terminal. I lived there during all that time, afraid to leave my mother's side. I finally took a two day break, left Alabama and came to Louisiana, to get fresh clothes, pay some bills, check on my house, and yes-get caught up on yahoo finance boards, travel cruise boards, and email.

This thread, by far, has provided me the most humor. If anything ever happens to me, I want some of you to go to bat for me and support me!!!!

 

Am I cruising with any of you folks on May 16, 2005, INFINITY to Alaska roundtrip SanFrancisco??????

 

Enjoy yourselves and remember to lighten up.

 

'Brenda'

[superstein61]

I think I already answered both questions in a prior post. Nevertheless, your questions are simple enough ... I'll answer them again:

 

1. Yes, but it doesn't have anything to do with time. Intention is what would make it right or wrong. If the intentions are similar to those expressed in your hypothetical example in your previous post, then it would be wrong. However, I wouldn't consider it wrong for a couple to celebrate an event that was 25 (or more) weeks away if, for example, the cruise itself was planned, and purchased, for the purpose of celebrating that event. Health concerns, work scheduling, or other such factors could easily require an acceleration or postponement of a celebration. When my grandparents celebrated their 75th anniversary we did so 4 months late because, on the exact date, my grandfather was in the hospital. That wasn't cheating, nor would I have considered it cheating had it happened on a cruise. Intention is the critical factor.

 

2. As for multiple cakes ... that would depend upon the length of the cruise and, again, the intention in ordering them. Let us hypothesize that you're on the world cruise: if your birthday is Feb 1st, your wife's birthday is March 1st, and your Anniversary is April 1st, I would say that each is a valid reason to celebrate with a cake. :) However, on a 7 day cruise (I suppose that was the example you used), to pull 7 different events from all over the year for the clear and expressed purpose of having a cake every evening would be, in my opinion, "cheating." As I've already said, it's the intention.

 

Rev - thanks for the answers. Ok, I now fully see where you are coming from here regarding intent. I guess I take more of a Black/White view of things and don't like to try and determine someone's intent. I guess I am a much more by the book type person - which to me makes sense based on my education and chosen profession. Whereas I can see why intent is very important to you.

 

 

I disagree. :)

 

I suspected you would :)

 

Firstly, in the case of bringing a bottle of booze aboard one is breaking known Cruise Line policies; in the case of ordering a cake to celebrate something a month away, one is not only not violating any Cruise Line policies, but also the cruise line has been known to facilitate such celebrations. Secondly, the intention of smuggling a bottle of booze onboard is either to avoid having to pay the prices the cruise-line charges or, perhaps, because they don't carry your brand. In the second intention one's intellectual honesty remains intact, but ethical action would nevertheless call on one to accept an inconvenience rather than willfully violating known cruise-line regulations.

 

None of this applies to ordering a cake for a celebration a month away. What cruise line policies are violated? Ordering such a cake becomes unethical when the intention to abuse the benefit overrides the intellectual honesty of the celebration. Again, in my opinion the ethical principle is rooted in the the question of intention, and a test-case can confirm it. Would you consider it cheating to order a cake to celebrate an event 2 months away even if celebrating that event is the very purpose for taking the cruise in the first place? If your answer is "yes, it is cheating," then you still have intellectual honesty but are a legalist (that's ironic). If your answer is "no, it is not cheating" then one's ethical standards are coordinate with the principle of intention. It is the "principle of intention" that governs most moral and ethical standards and absolutes. For instance, "Self defense" is rooted in this principle.

 

Well I disagree a bit with the intent of bringing a bottle of booze on board. At least in my case. I only bring Mountain Dew and my favorite rum on board primarily because HAL doesn't sell it (I guess a secondary consideration is that HAL IMO overcharges for drinks). But in my case, I am taking no money out of HAL's pockets. If I did not bring my Mountain Dew and Rum - it doesn't mean I would buy something in their place from HAL. I would pass on the soft drinks and stick to Ice Tea - and I doubt I would purchase any Alcoholic drinks from HAL (just based on past experience when I didn't bring my own on board). So from that perspective - you can look at it that HAL doesn't lose anything by me bringing on my own beverages - or ordering my own special occassion cake(s)

 

As to the question - "Would you consider it cheating to order a cake to celebrate an event 2 months away even if celebrating that event is the very purpose for taking the cruise in the first place? " - the answer is yes. I guess in my book, the timing in relation to the date is important. But thats just how I view it. Again, its my black and white view of things in this regard.

 

Would you mind answering my question from earlier? Was it "cheating" for my family to celebrate my birthday on March 22nd rather than on March 21st? You place a great deal of stock in basing an argument on an extreme example, so let's take the opposite extreme. Was that event "cheating"? If you don't think the question applies, think again.

 

To answer your question - well, I would view this as technically cheating but with a caveat. I guess the one exception I can live with in regards to the rules is if you were on board the ship on the 21st - but wanted to delay the celebration to the 22nd for whatever reason - that seems reasonable. By being on board the ship during your eent - you are entitled to that special cake - so if you want to put it off a day, I don't think it impacts HAL what day they provide it. But if your Birthday occurred before you boarded the ship or after you left it - then I would view it as cheating

[superstein61]

I find it all very amusing. But most important I want to see a gold star by Superstein's name for behaving so well.;)

 

:) :) :)

[superstein61]

for providing me a day or so of humor! It's strange to think that this thread really is real. It's more like a cartoon.

I have spent the last 22 days sleeping on a recliner in a hospital and then a hospice house for the terminal. I lived there during all that time, afraid to leave my mother's side. I finally took a two day break, left Alabama and came to Louisiana, to get fresh clothes, pay some bills, check on my house, and yes-get caught up on yahoo finance boards, travel cruise boards, and email.

This thread, by far, has provided me the most humor. If anything ever happens to me, I want some of you to go to bat for me and support me!!!!

 

Am I cruising with any of you folks on May 16, 2005, INFINITY to Alaska roundtrip SanFrancisco??????

 

Enjoy yourselves and remember to lighten up.

 

'Brenda'

 

Brenda - glad we could brighten up your day.

[RevNeal]

I want to see a gold star by Superstein's name for behaving so well.

 

I'll second that! :D ;)

[RevNeal]

. I guess I take more of a Black/White view of things and don't like to try and determine someone's intent. I guess I am a much more by the book type person - which to me makes sense based on my education and chosen profession.

 

I find that a very fascinating, not to mention an ironic, statement of your own self-conception, given especially your willingness to disregard line policy and guidelines when they come into conflict with your own wishes. :) In other words, you're a "by the book type person," except for when you want to throw the book away. :D Well, when it's MY book I tend to be the same way. When it's someone else's book, and I'm playing in their back yard, I usually attempt to play by their rules.

 

I only bring Mountain Dew and my favorite rum on board primarily because HAL doesn't sell it (I guess a secondary consideration is that HAL IMO overcharges for drinks). But in my case, I am taking no money out of HAL's pockets. If I did not bring my Mountain Dew and Rum - it doesn't mean I would buy something in their place from HAL.

 

It sounds to me like you have intellectual honesty; your intention is to "have it your way," not to defraud your host or even to just break the rules. I would not be comfortable with doing that, but that's just me.

 

As to the question - "Would you consider it cheating to order a cake to celebrate an event 2 months away even if celebrating that event is the very purpose for taking the cruise in the first place? " - the answer is yes. I guess in my book, the timing in relation to the date is important. But thats just how I view it. Again, its my black and white view of things in this regard.

 

I understand. In my opinion, and in my experience, an Anniversary celebration is a celebration of the covenant bond and not just the day on which that bond was established -- hence, most such celebrations focus on all the events which occur within the marriage, and even events that happened BEFORE the marriage, not just the wedding itself. As for birthdays ... within a reasonable proximity (a week or two either way) would be my relative judgment. Personally, I would be uncomfortable having others celebrating a birthday for me beyond that range (except in the case where we have "all the birthdays in the month of March" kind of celebrations at the church).

 

To answer your question - well, I would view this as technically cheating but with a caveat. I guess the one exception I can live with in regards to the rules is if you were on board the ship on the 21st - but wanted to delay the celebration to the 22nd for whatever reason - that seems reasonable. By being on board the ship during your eent - you are entitled to that special cake - so if you want to put it off a day, I don't think it impacts HAL what day they provide it. But if your Birthday occurred before you boarded the ship or after you left it - then I would view it as cheating

 

Well, the reason we couldn't celebrate my birthday on the 21st was because I was working all day -- Sundays are like that around here. So ... we celebrated on the day after. If we were to put it into a cruise-context, I'd be nervous having that much attention focused on me anyway. I HATE it when the waitstaff comes out with a dessert and sings a song at restaurants, so I'm not so sure I'd be comfortable if the staff were to sing "habby birsday to you" to me.

 

That being said, I can think of several reasons why one might not celebrate on a specific day even if it is in the duration of the cruise. Let us say, the night of your birthday or Anniversary the ship is experiencing high seas and those without cast-iron stomachs are praying to the Holy Toilet. You planned this trip and paid all that money for it specifically to celebrate the special day. Are you going to let a night of high seas ruin the entire trip by keeping you from celebrating one day later? :) I could spin a dozen such scenarios. Each is an exception, true, but each would nevertheless cause one to think about one's ethical principles and judgments of what others do and wether or not it's "cheating."

 

Where's that horse ... I've got my .22 loaded.

:eek:

[iluvcruzin]

for providing me a day or so of humor! It's strange to think that this thread really is real. It's more like a cartoon.

I have spent the last 22 days sleeping on a recliner in a hospital and then a hospice house for the terminal. I lived there during all that time, afraid to leave my mother's side.

'Brenda'

Sorry to hear about your Mother. I've been through the Hospice routine twice with both parents (Dad the end of last year). Hope she is comfortable. Don't forget to take care of yourself too as it can be exhausting. Just know she appreciates and knows you are there for her.

[RevNeal]

I have spent the last 22 days sleeping on a recliner in a hospital and then a hospice house for the terminal. I lived there during all that time, afraid to leave my mother's side.

 

You have given this discussion a proper shot of perspective. In the light of your recent experience, this whole subject is clearly very petty. May God bless you!

[HeatherInFlorida]

Superstein! ..... Mountain Dew!!!??? Please don't tell me your mixing that with that upscale fancy dancy rum you keep talking about!:eek:

 

Think about it ... there may be a reason HAL doesn't stock Mountain Dew.....;)

 

Brenda, these guys could sparkle up just about anyone's day. Good for you for letting that humor come through in what is obviously a difficult time for you.

[Host Walt]

OK, folks. The person requesting input has left the boards (on the cruise in question) so she has now received all the advice that she can use and has made a decision.

 

Accordingly I've decided that it's time to bring this little discussion to a peaceful end. (We celebrated our 36th Anniv. on a cruise with a cake. No way I'm telling whether the celebration was on the exact day - I keep forgetting the date anyway, by DW's birthday being on the 20th and our Anniversary on the 22nd...or is it the other way around?)

 

Anyway, we brought our own wines, a Vintage Red dated the year we married, and a bottle of Cristal Champagne and just paid a corkage charge.

 

Bottom line, let's move on to another subject.

 

This thread is closed.