Leaving the kids at home

[glndr]

We usually take our kids on vacation with us. They have been on cruises and such. A couple of times we have gone without them and left them with my parents. It's nice to spend some time alone with my husband and we can go away when the kids are in school. I hate to take them out of school for vacation. Be thankful you have your mother to watch them. Some people are not so lucky.

[Family Man]

DW and I have always made time to regularly have date nights at home, as well as travel alone for long weekends and even a week at a time:eek: . Guess what, the girls survived and so did we;) . While I totally agree that you are building memories traveling with the kids, I would also suggest that you do also when traveling as a couple. It always cracked me up when friends would have a baby and then take months, even years before they would even leave the child with a baby sitter, even if it was a close family member. As already mentioned above, the kids love it (if they knew the term, I'm sure they would say, "Don't let the door hit ya on the way out") because for some reason, even after giving specific instructions to grandma and grandpa, the rules seem to always change when the grandkids show up and the parents are gone:rolleyes: :D . Junk food, staying up late, you get the idea....

 

DW and I just returned from our timeshare in Puerto Vallarta for a week without DDs and had an awesome time. We are taking them on their first cruise in November 2006 and their second November 2007, but mom and dad will go on 2 by themselves in between. And yes, DDs will survive and so will mom and dad. Now grandma and grandpa on the otherhand....

 

Go.... and have a blast!!!

[perkyblue]

I felt the same as your wife when I left my 1 1/2 year-old for a 6-night trip to Hawaii. I was almost in a panic because I didn't want to leave him! But I did, and he had a great time with his grandparents, and I had a fabulous time in Hawaii!

 

I thought that I'd be worrying about him the whole time I was gone, but I really didn't. In fact, I would've gladly stayed another week without him in Hawaii if I could have!

 

Your wife will be apprehensive at first, but I'm sure she will LOVE having a chance to relax and you'll both have a great time!

 

We're going on a cruise next year, and now I have no hesitation in leaving my son with his granparents for the 10-day trip. I love my son like crazy, and I love being a mom, but I'm really looking forward to my next break from mommyhood!

[Devo1994]

When my kids were that young I used to take 2 vacations a year, one was usually a cruise with DH and I and the other was a summer vacation with the kids. That way we have memories of the kids on vacation and us adults on vacation. My family loved having the boys for a week. I think it's healthy for young kids to have time away from parents. Your wife will miss the child at first and so will you but when you get back home you'll be wishing your vacation was longer!

 

My boys are teenagers now and we will be taking them on their first cruise next summer. I think it's different when they get to be teenagers, I actually worry about how much trouble they are causing while I'm away! I wouldn't want to do that to my family :o .

[lyndamarie6]

zuscruiserz- There is babysitting in the cabin for a low fee. The child obviiously will be going to bed early at that age, a babysitter will work perfectly.

I am not saying leave them in their own room, I suggested getting joining rooms which are two rooms that have a door in between and the door can stay open.

Kids should spend time with their grandparents, and I would assume the OP parents do spend time with their grandchildren.....my kids spent saturday daytime with grandma and grandpa and when they got older my parents would pick them up from school and either we all go for dinner together, or the kids would go with their grandparents and my parents would bring them home well before their bedtime. My parents had a boat and on saturdays they enjoyed spending time with their grandparents on the boat, but when it came to vacations we just take them along. I am glad to see that there are other families that feel the same way as I do. My son is now 17 and just this year he decided not to go on our cruise because he had a job and wanted to keep it so that he can afford his car insurance and gasoline, he made a grown up decision. He told me mom, I have been on 12 cruises and wish I could go on this summers but I have responsiblities now and need to keep this job that I like (he was not there yet a year) and he explained to me that he loved each and every cruise and didn't want to miss it, but he said "mom we have next year". You see, they do get older and grow up faster than you think, so enjoy them, take them, you two will find ways to be together alone and have "alone time" together.

 

sgttami- My children were always brought up with independance. My son at 12 could cook so many dishes, italian, irish, german, fresh soups, etc. My daughter at 9 knew how to bread veal cutlets and chicken cutlets, bake cookies and cake and I have taught them to learn how do do errands around the house and they keep their rooms cleaned themselves. At the same time they learned how family is so important, seeing their grandparents and other family members and spending time together. I PERSONALLY do not feel how going away on a vacation without your children teaches them independence.

 

Family Man- YOur right, regardless of your rules, whether what to eat and what time to go to bed, grandparents do change those rules, therefore, in a child's mind may think mom and dad are "mean" but in reality we know best for our children. I personally feel that the OP chlildren are too young to leave them for the first time that length of time. Perhaps a weekened to try it out would be best for them?

[2theship]

My daughters look at each other and get a big grin on their face when we mention going away without them. Even though they are now 16 and 17, they know will stay at the next door neighbor's while we are away. They love being there - the mom is like an aunt to them and they're great friends with her sons. We've been trading kids since they were tiny since neither of us has extended family in town.

 

We also have wonderful family vacations, often on cruises, but sometimes we choose to go without them. There are huge benefits to both with-kid and without-kid travel and I believe our girls have gotten the best of both worlds.

[TigerMom]

To the OP... your kids are so young they won't even remember that you left them. They might remember the time they got to spend with grandma... precious time! You will miss them, sure, but that just makes coming home that much sweeter. Enjoy your time alone with your DW, it's just 7 days... and you two deserve it. I, myself, would be much more comfortable cruising with my kids when they are old enough to get out of it all they can and remember every moment and how lucky they are to be there.

 

Whatever you decide... a vacation is a vacation... enjoy!

[sgttami]

Going away without your child DOES teach them independence...

 

Mommy and Daddy may not always be around to oversee things and the choices they make will be theirs..(maybe not a 3 year old but certainly a teen)...

[Harley-Davidson_Family]

We have ALWAYS taken the kids with us, we never dreamed of leaving them out no matter what their age was and my relationship is just as strong, it never weakened. A vacation alone with your spouse is not going to make the relationship stronger.

 

We have taken our kids on vacations since my eldest was 5 years of age making our youngest 3 at that time. On a cruise, they have children's activities which they will enjoy. There are so much for them to do, arts and crafts, movies, computer games, kid parties, a gameroom to name a few things. They will enjoy a cruise and them having fun at the kids area will enable you and your husband to enjoy and go dancing, or to the casino or whatever you can't do when you have the kids around. There is babysitting where they have slumber parties and show the kids movies at night so you two can have night time together. But I always felt your a family so act as a family and eat together and spend some time together. They grow up so fast, my son is 17 now next year he will be in college, time really flies by so fast, but I always can say I always included my kids on vacations and enjoyed being with them. The past few days since they are teens we always got them their own room, if you really want your own room, you can put the children in a joining room, its just an idea. My husband and I when the kids were younger we took turns checking on the kids as they had their own room to share, it worked out, they locked the door and we checked on them and they were safe. :)

 

Now that I look back, it was fun going away on vacations with the kids and a cruise allows you two to have alone time and the kids would have their own fun and be watched carefully.

 

In my opinion, they are young and your wife will probably miss them and think of them if you two went away without them....grandparents are great as my parents watched the kids overnight or a weekened, but I was always around closely just in case of an emergency, I just feel 7 nights may be too long for the kids and your wife away from them since its the first time your considering this.

 

Also, if you do decide to have the grandparents watch the children, do write a letter giving them authorization to make medical decisions just in case of an emergency!!

 

I think this is totally a personal decision though. Personally, we would never even think of leaving the kids at home. Either we all go or we all stay home. I would feel so far away from them out in the middle of no where and besides I'd feel like we are doing something with out them. Once we had kids we do everything together and not apart. But there are loads of people who leave their kids at home all them time. Again, a personal decision that can only be made by you.

[Mike & Sue]

I have left my kids with Grandma several times and believe me you will ALL survive!!!! Mine are now 18 and 20 and both wonderful kids.

 

Tell her it is a great way for you two not only to celebrate your anniversary but it is a great way to renew your relationship.!!!

 

Would agree with Sue L. Always had the grandparents come to our our house and stay with our kids one week a year. We needed this and is probably at least one reason we are still together. Kids now in their early 20's turned out fine. Of course we always had another week with the kids at Disney or somewhere. Hope to get the same chance someday to stay our own grandkids for a week, just not real soon:) :) :) .

[kbt2]

Hi, I was wondering how many people cruise and leave the kids at home? Specifically toddlers. We are considering going on a cruise for our fifth anniversary and my wife is afraid that she won't be able to leave the kids for an entire week. At the time of the cruise our oldest will be 4 and our youngest would be just over a year old. I told my wife that she would be fine and the kids would most likely be camping with her mother for the week and having a good time. What does everyone else think???

 

 

We've taken 3 cruises without the children, as we felt they were too young and we (DH and I) would have spent a ton of money and would have had no fun. So we waited until they were old enough for Adventure Ocean program. We will be taking our twin 4 yr olds and 5 yr. old for their first cruise with us next summer. It will definitely be more fun then!! I would wait on taking your children since the youngest is only 1 and would have to be with you both the whole time. The children at this age LOVE going to their grandparents. Mine had a blast while we were gone on our most recent cruise a few weeks ago. Have fun!

[sgttami]

Why do some people feel so weird leaving their kids at home to travel as a couple...??

 

I always appreciated the vacations that my parents took us on when we were kids. But, they had their adult trips also. We loved it. Got to spend the time with our grandmother and got away with lots of stuff we couldn't have pulled off if the parents were around!!

 

Just my Opinion....

[pcur]

It's not whether you take your kids on vacation with you or not; it's the relationship you have the REST of the time. A week or two with a loving and responsible caretaker is not going to traumatize or cause a problem in the long run.

 

I know, because that's what DH and I did 28 years ago! Especially if both parents work full time, it's a good idea to get away together and strengthen THAT bond.

 

No judgement intended on any posters here, but I know people that never used a babysitter, never went anywhere without their kids, etc., and the now grown son and daughter are very dependent upon their parents, VERY. Children need to learn to deal with the world (in small doses, in safe environments) on their own. It makes them more secure and independent as adults, and isn't THAT what parenting is all about?

 

JMO: OP, go on the cruise, call home, and email if the "grands" can do that, too.

[Clarkk W Griswald]

Book a balcony, read this thread: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=392877

 

And leave the kids at home!!!!

[sgttami]

It's not whether you take your kids on vacation with you or not; it's the relationship you have the REST of the time. A week or two with a loving and responsible caretaker is not going to traumatize or cause a problem in the long run.

 

I know, because that's what DH and I did 28 years ago! Especially if both parents work full time, it's a good idea to get away together and strengthen THAT bond.

 

No judgement intended on any posters here, but I know people that never used a babysitter, never went anywhere without their kids, etc., and the now grown son and daughter are very dependent upon their parents, VERY. Children need to learn to deal with the world (in small doses, in safe environments) on their own. It makes them more secure and independent as adults, and isn't THAT what parenting is all about?

 

JMO: OP, go on the cruise, call home, and email if the "grands" can do that, too.

 

 

My sister and I both had boys...28 years ago.. and we were fortunate to be able to stay at home with them when they were young. I always used babysitters, grandparents etc..but my sister NEVER left my nephew with anyone unless it was my parents...not even for a minute. NEVER would she travel unless my nephew went.

 

I, on the other hand, had no problem with babysitters or leaving my son with trusted relatives/friends/sitters whether it was for an hour or a week.

 

Today...my son is married. My nephew lives at home (has a good job and can afford to live on his own) and still has separation anxiety when his parents go away!! Don't know if it's for real if all this connected as some "psychological mystique" but it sure makes sense to me!!

[CMurph]

I read an article not too long ago that addressed the issue of parents taking time/trips/vacations without their kids. This article pointed out that parents need to remember that their marriage is based on a man and a woman and their relationship...with or without kids. Kids do not make a marriage...they add to it. If you are fortunate enough to take a vacation...hopefully a cruise...without kids....then do so. It will NOT scar your kids for life. Those of us that sometimes cruise without kids (and I am sure there are many) are not bad parents. Our kids love to cruise and we do so WITH THEM whenever we can....but we do not hesitate to cruise without them on occasion. We are all happy!

 

P.S. Our next 2 cruises do include our youngest.

[lyndamarie6]

We never left the kids, my husband and I do go out on "dates" alone we always have and had the grandparents watch them for the evening or for the day or night. My husband and I still continue to go on nice dinners together, the kind where you can dine in a 4/5 star restaurants, our favorite is going out for steak at Mortons or on the intercoastal its very nice. We go to concerts, hockey games, to a sports bar, movies, a show/theatre somewhere and to the orchestra alone, that is our relationship/time together, so in reality, that is our alone time together without the kids, we just wouldn't deny them a vacation of having fun, going away, seeing different places and experiencing different travels. My kids now are teens (we have a total of 5 children) and till this day they want to come along, they are older now and do their own thing, but we always took them with us always.

I think the OP should just ask his wife how she feels and decide together, not listen to all of us here saying go without the kids or don't leave the kids.....don't you think?

[pcur]

We never left the kids, my husband and I do go out on "dates" alone we always have and had the grandparents watch them for the evening or for the day or night. My husband and I still continue to go on nice dinners together, the kind where you can dine in a 4/5 star restaurants, our favorite is going out for steak at Mortons or on the intercoastal its very nice. We go to concerts, hockey games, to a sports bar, movies, a show/theatre somewhere and to the orchestra alone, that is our relationship/time together, so in reality, that is our alone time together without the kids, we just wouldn't deny them a vacation of having fun, going away, seeing different places and experiencing different travels. My kids now are teens (we have a total of 5 children) and till this day they want to come along, they are older now and do their own thing, but we always took them with us always.

I think the OP should just ask his wife how she feels and decide together, not listen to all of us here saying go without the kids or don't leave the kids.....don't you think?

 

Uh, no....he asked for our opinions. By describing our various situations, he can see how someone similar to he and his wife handled this. THEN, he makes up his own mind.

[cruznsugs]

last year was the first time we left our 2 1/2 year old daughter with my inlaws . The first day my DH was a mess , I was a little better but felt guilty. By day 2 we relaxed and that was it. We had a ball. We both work full time and just needed time to relax and enjoy each other. It was the best thing we could of done. My daughter had her special time with Grandma and Grandpa who she doesn't see that often. We enjoyed it so much that one month after our cruise we booked another. You need time to enjoy each other especially when you have a toddler. We plan on bringing her when she's about 5 . When she can actually enjoy it. Go and don't feel guilty.

[Sunshine101]

Leave the kids at home.

 

We started cruising when I first found out I was pregnant. I ran into a sweet little old lady in the elevator who told me to never stop having fun on vacations as a couple. She told me to put my marriage first and my kids second and I'll be happy forever. Those words have always stuck with me. We left our 10 month old home for a week with family to celebrate our anniversary (this was almost 2 years ago). We got so much disapproving comments from people (mostly friends of friends) which made us feel so guilty for leaving and the most support I got for making the decision to travel for a week was from everyone here. Our girl had a blast with the grandparents, and yes, we missed her like crazy, but what a wonderful time we had together as a couple. Coming back home to her was even sweeter.

 

Ok. Sorry so long winded. Go and have fun!

[lyndamarie6]

Pcur: CMurph made a comment explaining "couples need to remember their marriage is based on man and a woman" I was simply explaining that my husband and I do just that only the subject was taking the kids on vacation and I expressed my opinion that I never left my kids. Now your off the subject also aren't WE......

[realtorron]

My DW and I took our 1st cruise as part of our 25th wedding anniversary several years ago and left our youngest 2 children home alone (18 & 19 yr old seniors in High school). I work a 40+ hours a week job plus sell real estate part time (sometimes another 20 to 30 hrs a week) DW is a stay at home mom. We told the neighbors we were leaving them home alone and if they saw anything happened that they knew we would not allow to call us or their grandmother. We threatened the kids that if we received a phone call from anyone that there grandmother would be coming to baby-sit them for the remainder of the time we were gone (we took 3 weeks total). This was the 1st time we took a trip with out the kids. Our relationship strengthened more on our trip than we ever thought possible. Our children are gone now (moved out) but every year we still get away just the 2 of us to focus on each other. This is a personal decision only you can make. :)

[PVDCruiser]

If my parents ever left me at home for a cruise I would be incredibly jealous/angry.

 

So, parents, bring the kids. Do it for the children. :D :p

[happysinglemom]

We never took a vacation that did not include our son. Just had no desire to - we always wanted him with us. :o

 

But I certainly understand others that do...different strokes...

[lyndamarie6]

PVD Cruiser: I am glad your parents are like me!! :)