Leaving the kids at home

[Happy ks]

I only wish we would have had the opportunity to cruise without our kids when they were little. They unfortunately had no surviving grandparents, all the uncles and aunts had jobs and their own children.

 

So, we vacationed with them, we had a great time together. Then, the opportunity came up when they were 10 and 13 for us to go away for 9 whole days by ourselves! We felt guilty, but we went. The kids survived being shuffled amongst the relatives, when we did call, they were having so much fun they didn't want to talk to us.

 

The really good part was when we would observe families, either bickering or the parents disciplining, or the kids whining, we were overjoyed to be away from that for a week :D , we would just walk on by, smiling to each other.

 

We have great kids, we still vacation with them, we still occasionally go without them. Completely free of guilt.

 

I believe that kids who have grandparents are entitled to have some private time with the grands, away from the prying eyes of the parents. I think they should be allowed to develop a bond with relatives other than their parents. I also think that children benefit from knowing their parents are also a "couple", not just a couple of parents. It's good for them to know that their parents love each other still and it's a good lesson for them to learn for their own relationships in the future.

 

I do understand when people state they won't go anywhere without their kids, we did just that for 13 years, not even a weekend away. Now, being on the other side, I can see more clearly why it is important to spend time alone with your mate, it's a little muddy when you;re in the thick of it.

[teacherkim]

I am a teacher and I have a 3 yr. old son. I agree with some of the other posters that balance is the key.

DH and I recently went on the AOS for a week without DS. He split his time between the two sets of grandparents. We had a wonderful vacation and so did he. To make it easier for him we told him HE was going on vacation to Grandma's and let him help pack a suitcase with his favorite things. Trust me as an educator and parent he was better for the experience. He had an indulgent vacation just like us. Stayed up later, not as many rules, etc. EVERYBODY needs that once in a while. We did the same when he was 1 yr. old and we went to Costa Rica without him. Except it was even easier because he barely knew we were gone! This helps kids learn permanence, that you can go away but you are still mommy and daddy and will be back. Makes them more emotionally strong.

Now this does not mean we never do family vacations. We took a weekend driving trip with him and had a ball. Also, we are planning a family Med. cruise for summer 08 with DS, all 4 grandparents, and great-granny! Since the focus will be family trip and there will be many there to share the burden it will be a blast.

Remember, moderation in all things! Take kiddos sometimes but it is o.k. to be alone as a couple too.

[KandMGIn]

I believe that kids who have grandparents are entitled to have some private time with the grands, away from the prying eyes of the parents. I think they should be allowed to develop a bond with relatives other than their parents. I also think that children benefit from knowing their parents are also a "couple", not just a couple of parents. It's good for them to know that their parents love each other still and it's a good lesson for them to learn for their own relationships in the future.

 

I do understand when people state they won't go anywhere without their kids, we did just that for 13 years, not even a weekend away. Now, being on the other side, I can see more clearly why it is important to spend time alone with your mate, it's a little muddy when you;re in the thick of it.

 

Hooray!

[mbtaz]

I'm a SAHM to a 4 year old boy. He has been fortunate enough to be on 10 cruises with us since he was 15 months old. We take 3 a year with him and 1 a year without him. He loves the time with my nieces who watch him and my husband and I treasure our time alone together. Everyone has to make the best decision for them.

[sandi1967]

We are leaving in the morning for our first cruise to Alaska and we have 5 kids...13, 11, 9,4, and 20 months. We split them b\t gparents. It was hard leaving the two youngest ones today, i was sad and i know that I will miss them. But that said I am very excited to relax for one whole week with no diapers to change, no faces to wipe.....it will be all about us for once. We do tons of stuff as a whole family together.

 

I will be ready to see them in a week though!

Take care

sandi

[PVDCruiser]

Just wondering, do any of you guys leave your kids at home during the school year? Some of my friends' parents have done this, and I honestly don't get this.

[TennisLover]

Just wondering, do any of you guys leave your kids at home during the school year? Some of my friends' parents have done this, and I honestly don't get this.

 

I'm not sure what you don't get?

 

If the kids have school and I can take a week with DH and have someone to watch the kids, I would LOVE to cruise when it's not peak season. Maybe I'd get some good rates on a cruise and airfare! Not to mention alone time with DH.

 

For now, we cruise with kids -- which is great (but expensive). DH and I are planning a cruise over Christmas break without them (it's not our holiday), but will take them to Florida to stay with their grandparents (treat for everyone) then leave from Miami.

 

I love to cruise with my kids every year during winter break (they are 11 and 14 now) but hope to be able to take a non-peak cruise with DH alone towards the end of 2007 (as I think I found someone who I trust to stay with the kids -- yes, during the school year).

 

I would relish a week where someone else played drill sargeant over homework.

 

I read this thread last night (ok early this morning) when I couldn't sleep, but didn't have enough energy to respond. I realize that PVDCruiser is a teen, but I couldn't help getting into it now!.

[Happy ks]

Just wondering, do any of you guys leave your kids at home during the school year? Some of my friends' parents have done this, and I honestly don't get this.

 

I'd do that in a heartbeat. My kids are teens, one just entering high school, one will be a senior this year. When we leave, a relative comes and stays at the house with them. They don't mind, because they aren't with kids all day, they can leave and come back after school hours.

 

I'm the type who does not believe in taking kids out of school for a vacation. Perhaps if it were an educational trip, but I hardly qualify most cruises as educational, even if you take a couple of day trips on shore.

 

Now, if we could afford to bring along a tutor......;)

[PVDCruiser]

I'm not sure what you don't get?

 

If the kids have school and I can take a week with DH and have someone to watch the kids, I would LOVE to cruise when it's not peak season. Maybe I'd get some good rates on a cruise and airfare! Not to mention alone time with DH.

 

For now, we cruise with kids -- which is great (but expensive). DH and I are planning a cruise over Christmas break without them (it's not our holiday), but will take them to Florida to stay with their grandparents (treat for everyone) then leave from Miami.

 

I love to cruise with my kids every year during winter break (they are 11 and 14 now) but hope to be able to take a non-peak cruise with DH alone towards the end of 2007 (as I think I found someone who I trust to stay with the kids -- yes, during the school year).

 

I would relish a week where someone else played drill sargeant over homework.

 

I read this thread last night (ok early this morning) when I couldn't sleep, but didn't have enough energy to respond. I realize that PVDCruiser is a teen, but I couldn't help getting into it now!.

 

Personally, I don't get it because my friends just seem miserable that their parents are dumping them on someone else (obviously this is different for other teens). The other problem I see is if there's an issue at school the parents are a few thousand miles away.

 

Also, one of my cocerns if my parents did this (which they wouldn't do anyway) is if the person I'm staying with is flexible in terms of rides as many times I end up at meetings that are announced during the day (this will change once I'm 16 1/2 and get my license, though).

 

@Happy - I don't believe in taking kids out of school for vacation either. :D

 

This is just my opinion, though. You parents out there know your kids best.

[CaribbeanCrush]

Our kids are older now. We have 4, the oldest is 22 and the youngest is 14. We have family vacations and getaways, and then we have time when just my wife and I get away. It was hard at first, but it was always a positive experience for the kids and the parents. I think we are and have taught our kids a valuable lesson, that relationships take time and investment. It's good for them to understand early on that mommy and daddy were together before they came along. Not that we don't love them, and not that they aren't important, but when they are gone (and they do leave and sometimes come back:) ) we have to still be able to relate like we did before kids. Hopefully better.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, it works with our kids too!

[TennisLover]

Personally, I don't get it because my friends just seem miserable that their parents are dumping them on someone else (obviously this is different for other teens).

 

This cracks me up! My friends are miserable when their teens "dump" on them! Happens year-round! Rides... money... parties....

 

But it's one big circle... I did that to my parents ... and your children will do to you in the future too!

 

Thanks for your perspective, though. I've "seen" you around the RCCL boards and know that you're thoughtful about what you write. And you're a big fan of Navigator, so I've appreciated your input!

[PVDCruiser]

This cracks me up! My friends are miserable when their teens "dump" on them! Happens year-round! Rides... money... parties....

 

Oh I know that, but IMO there's a difference between a party and going away for a week.

 

Whatever, they're your kids! :D Thanks for the kind words!

[Harley-Davidson_Family]

With a background in education, I know how much time and talent it takes to educate kids - and how home-schooling is perceived by many. However, I think it takes a very special person to home-school their kids and I APPLAUD you for making that choice for your family. (This is said by a former public school, secondary education teacher - who is PROUD of the choice I made, but know that everyone must do what is right for their family!)

 

Oh, thank you for that! That really means a lot to me. I know that homeschooling is right for our family but would never talk anyone into it. I have a friend that wanted to take her daughter out of a private school to homeschool her and I tried to talk her out of it because it isn't for everyone. Everyone has different reasons for homeschooling and what may be right for me may not be right for someone else.

 

Now granted, I would never want to teach a room full of kids that are not mine. For that I APPLAUD you!:) Public schools can be wonderful for many kids who have that extra special teacher. We all have one we will always remember!

 

Blessings, Karyn

[familycruises]

I am also a homeschool mom. I have my children 24/7 but I can not imagine going on a vacation without my children. We plan our cruises several months in advance. The whole family enjoys the process. It is a big event in our year.

We travel with my parents, so we do get alone time. It is the best of both worlds. We get to vacation as a family. We get alone time because the grandparents often take the kids at night.

We take 2-3 vacations a year. The grandparents only cruise with us. We always take the kids with us on ALL of our vacations. We would never think of going anywhere without the kids. Our marriage is strong and our family is strong. I think time goes too fast. Soon our kids will be in college and not want to vacation with us.

I do not think that there is a right or wrong answer. If everyone is happy with the travel plans than fine. Do what is right for YOUR family.

Above all....have a great cruise!

[sgttami]

I was scanning the posts for the 10/20 Explorer cruise.

 

Are you still coming with us or did you change your plans?? Can't believe we booked the trip THAT long ago!!

 

We are trying to get an updated list of who's still in it!!!

 

 

Pam

[MikkiDawn]

My dh and I are going on a cruise in December and leaving our 3 kids at home with their Grandparents. They will be 12, 10 and 3. We never had a honeymoon 13 years ago and since we have the money decided to take a cruise without them, but plan on doing the Disney cruise either next December or the following December and YES they will miss a week of school.

 

Of course we moved last August to a resort town so this summer has sort of been one loooooooong vacation for them.

[Harley-Davidson_Family]

I was scanning the posts for the 10/20 Explorer cruise.

 

Are you still coming with us or did you change your plans?? Can't believe we booked the trip THAT long ago!!

 

We are trying to get an updated list of who's still in it!!!

 

 

Pam

 

Oh my gosh, I know it seems like forever since we first booked the cruise. Our dates changed a couple of time since we first booked. We are sailing 09/24 on the Mariner. We saved over a thousand dollars on the change. Though NJ would certainly be less of a drive, we figured the $1,000 was worth it.

Have fun though!!

[Harley-Davidson_Family]

I am also a homeschool mom. I have my children 24/7 but I can not imagine going on a vacation without my children. We plan our cruises several months in advance. The whole family enjoys the process. It is a big event in our year.

We travel with my parents, so we do get alone time. It is the best of both worlds. We get to vacation as a family. We get alone time because the grandparents often take the kids at night.

We take 2-3 vacations a year. The grandparents only cruise with us. We always take the kids with us on ALL of our vacations. We would never think of going anywhere without the kids. Our marriage is strong and our family is strong. I think time goes too fast. Soon our kids will be in college and not want to vacation with us.

I do not think that there is a right or wrong answer. If everyone is happy with the travel plans than fine. Do what is right for YOUR family.

Above all....have a great cruise!

 

I agree, there is no right or wrong answer here. I know people will get their feathers ruffled here but I think that those who are saying it is best for the kids if we leave them home so they can learn independence is just trying to justify their actions. If they feel guily about doing it, then don't do it. Their are too many so called experts in the medical world that wants us to believe all their mumbo jumbo. I know what is best for my kids and only me. Well, my DH might know a little too. :rolleyes:

 

My kids can learn independence by being in Sunday school or many, many other ways. I don't need to leave my kids miles and miles away to teach them a lesson in independence. I can't believe that my kids would have more fun at the grandparents house than on a family trip with us.

 

But, again different strokes for different folks.

[sgttami]

Oh my gosh, I know it seems like forever since we first booked the cruise. Our dates changed a couple of time since we first booked. We are sailing 09/24 on the Mariner. We saved over a thousand dollars on the change. Though NJ would certainly be less of a drive, we figured the $1,000 was worth it.

Have fun though!!

 

 

Also wishing you and your family a great trip on Mariner and $1,000 is a nice savings...Enjoy!!!

 

 

 

Pam

[lyndamarie6]

Harley-Davidson_Family: I TOTALLY agree with you!!!!!! :)

[Heidict]

My DH and I are cruising in Jan 07, without our daughter who will just over 1 year at the time.

 

She will be staying my in-laws and with my father and stepmother. I know that we are going to miss her like crazy, but she will be fine and the grandparents are already fighting over who gets her the longest.

 

In the future, when she is a bit older then we will take her on a cruise with us. But now, at this age, she is to young and the cruise will end up being work.

[Esmerelda]

Well....I do not currently have any small children. Mine are 11, almost 15, and 20. I do know that I would never attempt to take a toddler on to a ship. (as in under two) First off...I just don't think they are old enough to really get anything out of it. Secondly, they can't swim unless they are totally out of diapers (as the rules are listed on the RCCL site). The parents will spend most of their time taking care of the baby; changing..napping..etc. instead of truly enjoying all that the ship has to offer...like pools...hot tubs...shows...casinos...dancing..excursions..etc. I personally would wait on a cruise until my child was probably close to the 4 mark. Of course my boys were older when they started so that was never an issue.

 

On a side note; we recently went to Disney World. Yes..it was VERY hot! I witnessed babies in strollers that were sunburnt...and some looking like they were on the verge of a heat stroke. I'm talking babies that were under 6 months old! I would never take my baby into heat like that...they are not going to get much enjoyment out of it and to jeopardize their health would not be worth any vacation to me. My boys were both 4ish their first trip to WDW and they still remember all that we did. Just my two cents worth...

 

 

Esmerelda

[mrstrod]

My suggestion for parents? Do what you feel is right.

 

About 4 years ago, my husband and I took our 1st cruise - and 1st real vacation after being together for 10 years. We decided not to bring our kids who were then 3 and 10mos. We enjoyed the trip so much! We knew that our kids were safe with granma & granpa. But I do have to confess that everytime we passed a little girl my daughters age or a little boy my sons age, we felt a little twinge on the heartstrings!:(

 

We now cruise every year. Our next cruise in 2 weeks - woohoo!:D

 

We always take the kids now. They are old enough to enjoy the children's program and go on excursions and enjoy themselves.

 

But next year will be my 10th wedding aniversary and we are talking about doing a cruise without them again. As a matter of fact we will probably do it when the kids are in school so that we don't have to give up their vacation time with us.

[familia_solis]

I love my daugher with all that I am but I do need that once a year break for a cruise! She stays the week with my Mom and they have the best time together.

[mumofsons]

We were in our mid-late thirties when we had our children. For the first ten years we never left our children except for overnights at Grandma/Grandpa's. My mother called one afternoon and said - hey if you want to go to Vegas I will come and watch the kids for you. I thought - could I really leave them? We went ahead and booked a five day vacation and we enjoyed the trip and each other to the fullest. Of course I probably called six times a day - it drove my mother crazy! Almost two years later we took a four day cruise - same thing - mom came and watched them. Had a wonderful time. This November we are leaving them for a week. They are 13 and 11. They love to cruise too - but it gets harder to take them out of school the older they get (not to start another whole subject take them out or leave them in). I really feel I do need some time to ourselves - not only for the romance but with the hectic work schedules and family schedules sometimes you need to have moments to just yourselves. I love it and and I know so does my husband.