Complete Summary of CC Celebrity Postings

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You can wear your bathrobe on deck as long as you have previously spent a long time getting the runaround by Customer Service. until you got a quick email response from Dan Hanrahan himself, allowing you get your questions answered by incognito Celebrity Employees who are currently removing your belongings from the 21 seats you "reserved" by the pool at 0530.

 

Oh, and those employees do enjoy the phone cards, tchotchkes from your home town, and money in advance.

 

They'll help to get you on first to those "priority" tenders, get you the recipes for those unique martinis you had on board, tell you on which side of the ship you can smoke, help you organize your cosmetics in your over-the-door hanger, plug in your power strip, hang up your extra hangers, and get you anything off the dining room menu delivered to your cabin during mealtimes, that is.

 

They'll also help you identify those fantastic bargains in the ports of call. Why, those simpletons in the stores recommended by the Shopping Guide have no idea what jewelry costs in the US, and that's why they'll let top quality jewelry out of their stores for only a fraction of the price it sells for at home. Their loss is your gain!

 

Same goes for the art auctions--lucky thing that the Metropolitan Meseum doesn't know about that Dali/Tarkay/Max/Rembrandt, or the price would easily soar to over a million bucks!

 

And after you return back to the ship, you can fondly recall the Glory Days of Celebrity, when they tied something around something else on your plate, when the Captain's Club was the exclusive province of those who had--wait for it--$35 to pay for membership. That kept out the riffraff, unlike today, when the "great unwashed" gets 2-for-1 in the specialty restaurant, just like they get back home at the IHOP with the coupon book they bought from the Cub Scout next door.

 

Oh, and you actually had to hand your tips to those smiling third-worlders from Tsunamiland--you couldn't charge it on your shipboard account to get the frequent miles, but you could get a cash advance in the casino. If you could ever get over the guilt at your exploitation of them, you'd round up your suggested tip to the nearest dollar.

 

And you'd spend a lot of time on your veranda (either under the "overhang" in Concierge Class or with your nakedness being mocked by those one deck up from your Sky Suite) thinking about that glow in the toilet.

 

'Night, Folks!