Taking Kids Out of School to Cruise

[GeekyMom]

Okay, here's my 2 cents worth...when I was in 10th grade I went into the school musical. After rehearsing twice a week for months on end, my brother and his girlfriend announced they were getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid...on one of the days of the performance! My drama teacher would not excuse me for one show; I had to be in or out. My future sister-in-law would not accept me being a bridesmaid at the ceremony but missing the reception; I had to be in or out.

 

Ultimately, I made my own decision. My point here is that my parents respected me enough to let me decide for myself, and that was the memory that I kept from the whole situation. Perhaps your son should have a big say in this decision as well.

Good view point.

 

Now please tell, which did you pick? :)

[tampabrat22]

I say go with what you are confortable with. I take my son out of school every yr for one week for vacation. He is in gifted classes and does well inschool, some teachers allow him to make up his work and other's don't.

 

Honestly I could care less if it is excused or not...I know that sounds irresponsible but you only live once. I think if something ever happened to us, no one would ever remember those unexcused days or bad mark, but they will remeber the memories of time spent together.

 

Jessica

[katyjeka]

This is always a sore subject but as a mother of 3 DD's I will give my opinion. Our oldest is 11 and active with USA Swimming and an aqua club. When swimming is in session, which in our area is 10 1/2 months a year we have meets every weekend.(Saturday & Sunday)She has made a commitment to the team and her coaches, but we all know, she is not going to the Olympics, at most, she may make a college team.( As is the case with most children in sports. )I don't believe missing a meet to go on vacation, is teaching our children to be irresponsible. We have a lot of friends with children in different activities.(band, football, soccer, cheerleading, and the list goes on and on...)In our opinion some of them(parents)need help!!! There is more to life than sports, band, etc..., such as riding bikes, spending time with your siblings, joining the extended family for celebrations, and just BEING A KID. If we attended every meet, our daughter would not know her grandparents, cousins, or friends that don't swim. As for school, we have an A student, and a great school system. They understand we take time every December to spend together as family, and have done so since she started school. We will continue to do so(my DH can only take time off in Dec). We spent 11 days last Dec. seeing areas of the world, they may never see again. Funny, they were studying coral reefs as part of a science project. When she returned to school she knew more than the class did and was asked to share what she learned. The teacher thanked us for the pictures, and was impressed with what she had learned. Vacations can be educational!!!! Janice

[Cruisin' Chick]

I participated in the original thread that got nasty just because of one guy who seemed to think that any parents who took their kids out of school were the lowest form of life.

 

Anyway, we took our little one on a cruise when she was in kindergarten because we had gotten a fantastic rate (employee's discount) that wouldn't be available during a school break). We asked her teacher for the homework package and took whatever supplies (glue, pencils, crayons) with.

 

There is a lot of pressure on states, school districts, schools, principals and teachers. Especially with the LNKB laws (I won't go into my feelings about this, but I do have definite opinions), the pressure is on cramming a lot of info into the kids before the state tests. And each school gets money from the state (at least in California) based on kid per school day. So if kids are missing a lot of school days, the schools are getting less money. So now kids are told in the LA school district that there's only so many unexcused days allowed and that parents should schedule vacations for the breaks. That's not always possible. We know it.

 

And if a child misses out on even one day of school, there's all the classwork and homework that is required upon returning to school. My girl (now in 4th grade) was out the last two days with a virus (nose running and currently her temp is about 100 degrees). She did have one of her assignments for Thursday night which she did. So hopefully her other school work that she missed won't be that bad. But she will have only a few days to make it up (and if a child isn't 100 per cent, that's not good).

 

As for special activities, hopefully a parent can get as much info as possible so that the family can plan any trips. I can't imagine having a few kids with different activities and sports and not being able to plan a family trip because one child has a soccer game and will get kicked off a team. My child got a last-minute regret from two girls (sisters) for her birthday party this summer because they had soccer tryouts. I certainly agree with that last poster about over-scheduling your kids so there's no room to breath.

 

So we are trying to not schedule any cruises for during school time, even though prices are higher for summer, winter and spring breaks. And I try to remember that in mid-December and in mid-July are the music school recitals. Hopefully if she ends up in performance classes in middle or high school (as I'm guessing she would), we'll have all the info ahead of time of when concerts and plays are.

[Cruise Arizona]

Last year I took the kids out for a week when we took our cruise to Hawaii. DD, in 2nd grade, needed to work on her map reading skills so she had to prepare a map of each Island and mark all the places we visisted. DS was in 4th grade and I required him to read a biography of Captain Cook, and prepare a report on him and his three trips around the world. I had them do most of the work on these projects before we left. They learned so much more in preparing for the trip, working on their project, and making the actual trip than they would have had we stayed home for that week of school.

 

This year we are going to Mexico, and again missing a week of school. I have started the kids on a project already. DD is doing a report on each state we will visit, the folorico dance costumes, and the typical dances of that region. DS is currently reading about the Aztecs, and Cortes. He will do a comparitive study between Christianity and the Aztec religion, Cortes and Captain Cook, and will also report on the states we will visit and Folk Festivals celebrated typically in each state. They are working on this now to prepare them for the trip. Again, it will mean so much more to them when we visit each town in Mexico to know a little bit more than the average tourist.

 

 

But, again, I am not sure how much longer we will be ableto do this. As the kids get older I think we will have to look at different times of the year to cruise. Last year and this year we have done two week cruises at Thanksgiving. They get one week off at Thanksgiving, so they miss only one week. We may start looking at Christmas Week for cruises as they get two weeks off then. We also will look at Summer Cruises to Europe.

 

Commitments... I truly believe in honoring commitments and I prioritize my commitments by the one given first. However, some people have a different system for prioritizing commitments. Ultimately, I think that either choice would be correct, and that the band student and his family should make the decision about which commitment to honor...IE band commitment or Family Time Commitment.

[MrsPete]

Honestly, if I was the band director I would be highly annoyed. Unless you have tried to coordinate the position of hundreds of pre-teens, you have no idea how hard it is. Your child not being there might not be a big deal to YOU, but who is going to cover his positions? The entire formation could be off due to one student's absence. It is unfair to expect the other students in the band to re-learn an entire routine for 1 competition, so your child can go on a cruise

I have to agree. Band is an elective. Your son CHOSE to be part of this group, and he made a commitment to the group.

 

Band competitions are a HUGE, HUGE deal to the people involved. They practice day in, day out to be ready for these competitions, and winning them means SO MUCH to those kids. If one kid's gone, it throws off what they've done all year. It's not just the grade -- it's letting down all the other people in the band.

 

Seriously, right or wrong, if he misses a competition for what other people will see as a frivolous reason, he will become an outcast in the band group. If he misses the competition, he will never be given a leadership position in the band, and he might not even be allowed to be a part of the band next year.

 

I am no fan of bands -- I think they're too cult-like, and they take TOO MUCH of a teen's time, but this is how things go with bands. At the same time, for some students, being part of the band is THE MOST IMPORTANT EXPERIENCE of their high school career. Their best friends are the bandies, etc. I've seen seniors leave the football field after their last half-time show in tears, knowing that part of their lives is over. How much does your son enjoy the band?

[MrsPete]

I participated in the original thread that got nasty just because of one guy who seemed to think that any parents who took their kids out of school were the lowest form of life.

I don't think the question here is about taking kids out of school -- it's about allowing a child to miss a commitment that he made to a team/group.

[abitaturbodog]

Has anyone noticed that the OP hasn't returned since the first post? There's been a lot of good points with this discussion, I'm kinda surprised that she hasn't responded.

[Cruisin' Chick]

I don't think the question here is about taking kids out of school -- it's about allowing a child to miss a commitment that he made to a team/group.

 

Actually part of the OP's post was:

"What's been your experience with taking kids out of school to cruise?? How have the schools reacted? Thanks so much!!"

 

"I am no fan of bands -- I think they're too cult-like, and they take TOO MUCH of a teen's time, but this is how things go with bands."

 

Actually, I would have to disagree with you on this. I was in school orchestra since 8th grade. My brother and sister were in marching band (my brother also in orchestra; my sister in the vocal groups too). Those in the music program back when I was in high school tended to be the top students. In behavior as well as in academics. We are thrilled that our daughter has been taking private piano classes the last few years since she turned 6 and has added vocal class this summer. She is more interested in school and is looking forward to participating in any music classes she can when she gets to middle school.

 

My orchestra went to competitions and won superiors each time. A major reason was probably that it was one of the largest in Southern California at the time: more musicians tend to give a richer sound. So even if the OP's child's band was a regular concert band instead of a marching one, every player is important. I would still suggest if someone wants to plan a cruise with their family, try to work out the details of what else is going on that may conflict. And let family members know too, so they won't plan weddings or major birthday parties during that week.

[mygirlscats]

Geekymom, you wanted to know which I chose, my high school musical or being bridesmaid at my brother's wedding...

 

I chose the musical. (Loud chorus of groans, I can hear it now!) I had already auditioned, won a part, and rehearsed for months. I was part of a big group effort and I'd worked hard for it. And yes, my sister-in-law got over it and chose one of her friends, instead. I did go to the wedding, just couldn't make the reception.

 

By the way, I am taking my 11 year old daughter out of school for two weeks this January to come cruising around Cape Horn. I addressed the issue with her teacher in September so I'd have plenty of time to organize the make-up work (I do not expect her teacher to do it for me...she will give me the curriculum and I'll do the photocopying and make sure it's organized and ready to go).

 

We did that last winter with a week in Hawaii, and my DD came home with a science report on Hawaiian plants, complete with illustrations. Her teacher seemed surprised that she had done anything at all!

 

The difference, I think, is that it's just business as usual school work, not a special competition or event where her absence will disrupt the plans of others. Also, it's middle school, not high school, and I am able -- at this point! -- to supervise her lessons myself.

[GeekyMom]

Geekymom, you wanted to know which I chose, my high school musical or being bridesmaid at my brother's wedding...

 

I chose the musical. (Loud chorus of groans, I can hear it now!) I had already auditioned, won a part, and rehearsed for months. I was part of a big group effort and I'd worked hard for it. And yes, my sister-in-law got over it and chose one of her friends, instead. I did go to the wedding, just couldn't make the reception.

 

By the way, I am taking my 11 year old daughter out of school for two weeks this January to come cruising around Cape Horn. I addressed the issue with her teacher in September so I'd have plenty of time to organize the make-up work (I do not expect her teacher to do it for me...she will give me the curriculum and I'll do the photocopying and make sure it's organized and ready to go).

 

We did that last winter with a week in Hawaii, and my DD came home with a science report on Hawaiian plants, complete with illustrations. Her teacher seemed surprised that she had done anything at all!

 

The difference, I think, is that it's just business as usual school work, not a special competition or event where her absence will disrupt the plans of others. Also, it's middle school, not high school, and I am able -- at this point! -- to supervise her lessons myself.

I can understand your choice. My 12 yo daughter is into the Arts too and wants to be either a singer or actress so I know she would have had a tough choice there. Good your parents let you choose for yourself in High School like that. At some point we need to try and let them make decisions for themselves, and a good time is while they are under roof and we can still provide input... or not. :p

 

A week in Hawaii..... WOW, your daughter is truly blessed. Hope she really enjoys her 2 week cruise.

 

I really like schools that support families that travel, especially when the parents take responsibilty in assuring that kid(s) keep up with their class work while away from school and class.

 

ENJOY...

[Onessa]

As to the Band issue, it is a matter of committment. If the OP's son elected to participate in band knowing that his grade depended upon competitions, and knew that one of the required competitions was scheduled for a date where he had a prior committment to his family - the son is on the hook for band. If the date of the competition and/or the "required" component was not made clear at the time the son elected to participate - the band director cannot expect the son to attend. There is no committment to honor in that case. If the family scheduled the vacation after knowing that the competition existed - it is their bad and they need to deal with the consequences.

 

As to taking a child out of school for a vacation - it is an IDOTS (it depends upon the situation). In my DD's elementary school there always seems to be someone out for some reason. When her classmate was asked to dance at the opening of the National Native American Museum in Washington DC a few years back - it seemed like a REALLY good excused absence. When another classmate who was struggling was pulled out for two weeks because her mom had a fight with the child's father and decided to go home to Mississippi to "show him" - it didn't seem like as good of a reason.

 

If you are committed to your child's education, a family vacation can be a great part of that education. We've always worked to minimize any time off (last year our DD was in 4th grade, her school was in session for only 1.5 days the week of Thanksgiving - so we planned our HI cruise for that week. DD ended up missing 3.5 days total). We've given her school ample notice. She's been expected to complete all 'make up' work including spending some time each day working on school work.

[miami]

If you are committed to your child's education, a family vacation can be a great part of that education. We've always worked to minimize any time off (last year our DD was in 4th grade, her school was in session for only 1.5 days the week of Thanksgiving - so we planned our HI cruise for that week. DD ended up missing 3.5 days total). We've given her school ample notice. She's been expected to complete all 'make up' work including spending some time each day working on school work.

 

Don't mean to pick on you specifically but this sounds more like a good excuse to take your kid out of school. But I'm sorry, I find it hard to believe that people cannot plan vacations when the kids are off. It really comes down to it's more convenient or it's cheaper. I have two children and NO, I did not take them out of school for vacations because I feel it sends a message that school is not that important.

[TifTif]

I have 2 school aged children, and have been taking vacations in October every year since they were babies.It works well with husbands work schedule.(That should count for something,considering he is paying)And I have never experienced any problems with there schools.My daughter is in 10th grade and son in 3rd.They always receive makeup work and not held against them.My son plays sports all year round so if I wait until he has some free time we would never get a family vacation.This vacation was probably booked before his band schedule came out.So I say if it works for your family-GO FOR IT!Take your son and enjoy a well deserved vacation.

[Kerry's Girls]

In my opinion, travel is an extremely important part of life and education and I wouldn't worry about taking my children out of classes, but I also missed a week of school at least once a year to take a cruise or trip when I was growing up. I understand the concerns, but I never saw it as a message that school wasn't important and I still excelled and have no commitment issues or problems with responsibility. My parents were extremely pressed financially (as I am now as a single mom), but travel was a priority and it has remained so with me. I don't drive a newer car or buy clothes, eat out, etc., so that we can travel, and I'm not willing or able to pay high season prices for the same trip I can pay less for in the off-season. I'm also not going to drag my girls through Europe in the summer or during holidays we spend with family. But, I also live in a town where my fellow classmates missed school all the time for auditions or to film a commercial or tv show or visit a parent on a far-away set, so maybe schools in Los Angeles are more accommodating to this kind of thing :) .

 

Go - enjoy your time together and the priceless lessons and perspective we obtain by exploring new places and people.

 

Best,

Mia

[katyjeka]

To the above poster, it is impossible for my DH to take his vacation in any month other than December. This has been the case for twenty some years and will continue to be this way, until retirement. Why? His company closes every December, and this is the month that vacation is taken by every employee. This is not to say that he can't take any time off for unexpected problems, however, we do not consider our vacation this. I can't understand why in today's society a family is judged for taking time together as a family, which results in missing an "EXTRA" activity. If I were to wait until my DD had no meets or practice, we would have four days in November. Happy cruising to all. Janice

[mom2tcdx2]

Don't mean to pick on you specifically but this sounds more like a good excuse to take your kid out of school. But I'm sorry, I find it hard to believe that people cannot plan vacations when the kids are off. It really comes down to it's more convenient or it's cheaper. I have two children and NO, I did not take them out of school for vacations because I feel it sends a message that school is not that important.

 

When you consider someone who doesn't make a lot of money to spend $3000 or more on a cruise in June that I can take in November for $1000 doesn't make a whole lot of sense now does it? My children attend schools in 2 different school districts and they do not have the same spring break or days off for that matter, as well as I am the only employee in the office where I work and they have conferences they attend in June and July which limits my vacations during that time also. I ended up taking my kids in May of this year and then several family members are going the week after Thanksgiving because it was a week all of us could afford to do as well as get off. My children's teachers were both told the first day of school of these events. In May when they went neither child was given any work to do - my daughter was all review and my son was told to have a good time and not to ruin his trip by having to do school work. Both made honor roll for that semester also.

[Macguyver]

We've actually taken our kids out of school twice for cruises. As others have said, we can't afford to cruise at the more expensive times, nor can my husband get time off at those times usually because "everyone" seems to take time off during holidays, summers, etc. But by looking at my signiture, you can see we also don't go every year. The ONLY time I ever had a teacher comment on me taking the kids out for week, was actually made by a teacher that WAS NOT even one of my kids teachers! My kid's teachers have always been good about giving them some work to do but not overdoing it and any tests are waiting for them when we get home. Both times, both kids teachers have asked them to prepare a short report on the trip and invited them to share pictures, experiences etc. I think it was my son's 4th grade teacher that actually gave him the assignment of finding one thing about each port of call prior to the cruise that he would like to see/experience and share it with the class.

 

That being said, we NEVER know when the standardized testing is going to take place. This year, it was all done last week. It is never announced in any of the school calenders and I doubt the staff even knows a year in advance which is when we tend to book. So far, we have been lucky enough that the kids have been there for it and not on vacation. But we also make sure we let the kids teachers know during the first week of school when we have planned a trip like this, in writing. Doing it that way may not make a difference but at least everyone knows they will be gone during that time and can make changes if necessary accordingly.

 

The other issue that the OP made was regarding a band competition and the directors reaction to the son's needing to be gone. I can't do anything other than sympathize with the parents and the boy in that situtation. We have never had that come up for us but then our kids are only 13 and 9 right now. I hope that a solution can be reached that everyone is happy with in the end.

[tray]

Just found this thread and it makes me feel better to see that others are struggling with this school commitment thing. My story is a little different, but does encompass a lot of the same issues:

 

We scheduled a cruise to the Eastern Caribbean for part of our extended family to celebrate a brother-in-law's birthday this December 06 over winter break. We booked this cruise last November (2005). My son was in 8th grade then. He is now in the 9th grade and recently found out he made the JV Baskeball team. This is so sweet for him b/c he's worked sooooooooooo hard to make this team; it's been a dream of his for some time now. He has always been such an incredible kid: gets great grades, is respectful, helps with household chores without being paid or asked, etc. Don't get me wrong---he's not perfect, but I'm making this point b/c he asks very little from us and follows our rules, etc. I found out a few weeks ago that his school JV team has a tournament over Christmas break. I spoke with several parents who already have older kids playing on the team and they told me he can't miss. They said he'll have to run for the rest of the season (after the cruise) while the other boys practice & that he'll be benched for 5 games. I just couldn't believe this; afterall, it was a school break. So I emailed the coach and sure enough: he is expected to be at the tournament. Now the coach was nice, but firm about the school's expectations. He is expected to be there for the tournament, which is from 12/28-12/31. We're gone from 12/24-12/31. I know the reasoning: if everyone leaves then our team has to forfeit. But as a mom, I felt awful about this. And I completely disagree with this scheduling.

 

People wonder what is wrong with our youth today? We are getting farther and farther away from family time, family values, etc. Everything is about competition. Please don't get me wrong: I come from a background where we were expected to fulfill out commitments, we weren't allowed to miss school unless we were practically dying, and I had two of the most competitive parents in this world (they were wonderful, though!!:o). But IMO breaks from school should be a time for families to reconnect, for the kids to unwind and relax, and have some unstructured down time. I think our competitive natures are getting the best of us and becoming rather unhealthy. Anyway, I digress.

 

My husband and I discussed the cruise/tournament dilemma and decided to let our son have his 'say' in the matter. He was more than adamant that he wanted to be here for his tournament. He said that he wouldn't enjoy the cruise knowing that his team was relying on him to be here and that he's really looking forward to playing in his first high school tournament. So--there was no waivering. My mom has sweetly offered to come stay at our house with him and take him wherever he needs to go. I've also had several of the moms of other team members offer for him to stay with them a night or two, take him to practices, games, etc., so all the logistics are covered.

 

But I am heartbroken. I know this is a commitment, I know his team is relying on him, and there's a big part of me that totally believes this is the right thing to do. And we will support him no matter what. As I said before, he's an awesome kid and never asks much of anything from us. But as a mom---I'm so sad. It'll be my first Christmas without him, and his time at home is so limited now. Maybe this is God's way of getting me ready for the future: college, Christmas at a fiance's house, etc. :eek: And all of his cousins (11 of them) will be on the cruise for this family reunion. I just wish the schools would honor family time. I have no problem sticking to our commitments during the school year, but this is a step too far in my opinion.

 

Anyway, there you have my pitiful story! I can empathize with the band mom, though. Because it is very hard to go on a 'family' vacation when part of your family is missing and it is supposed to be a school break.

[dolphins76]

The way I see it is aslong as it is ok with my childrens school and my hubby and I thats all that matters. Here is what my childrens schools states in its bylaws:

 

After giving proper notice to the parent, the Superintendent shall report to the Regional Superintendent infractions of the law regarding the attendance of students between the ages of seven (7) and sixteen (16) years. An habitual truant is defined as any student who is unexcusedly absent for ten percent (10%) or more of the previous 180 regular attendance days.

 

 

To me thats all that matters. My children are 12,9,8 and I have never been frowned upon for pulling my children out of school for 7-9 days for a cruise or any other vacation. The teachers , along with the Dean have always told me a vac. is the best thing for a child...its on hands learning experince that they don't get in school. The only homework ever given was to send post cards from every port and to write a journal.

 

 

Happy Cruising!!!

 

Jayme

[Onessa]

Don't mean to pick on you specifically but this sounds more like a good excuse to take your kid out of school. But I'm sorry, I find it hard to believe that people cannot plan vacations when the kids are off. It really comes down to it's more convenient or it's cheaper. I have two children and NO, I did not take them out of school for vacations because I feel it sends a message that school is not that important.

 

My daughter is in fifth grade - taking seventh grade math, reading at a 2nd semester college junior level, and particpating in a college-sponsored science enrichment class generally reserved for 7th to 9th graders. As her fourth grade teacher said last year "she takes school TOO seriously and probably should lighten up a bit" (those were her exact words!)

 

DD is actively involved in the planning of our vacations. Vacationing in November minimized her time away from school and from my DD's other committments - her science program was on 'vacation' that whole week, she did not miss a piano lesson, she did not miss a ballet lesson (both on 'vacation' during the time we were gone), and missed only one practice for her curling team.

 

Vacationing in November also corresponded to my committments (I teach at the post secondary level and it is among the few periods of time when my classes are not in session that mesh up with days when her classes are not in session). It also corresponds well with my DH's schedule since the Thanksgiving holidays is a slow time in his business.

 

There are just different ways of determining what is "important" - I'm always happy for folks who can coordinate their schedules to correspond with kids time off.

[Onessa]

. . .I just couldn't believe this; afterall, it was a school break. So I emailed the coach and sure enough: he is expected to be at the tournament. Now the coach was nice, but firm about the school's expectations. He is expected to be there for the tournament, which is from 12/28-12/31. We're gone from 12/24-12/31. I know the reasoning: if everyone leaves then our team has to forfeit. But as a mom, I felt awful about this. And I completely disagree with this scheduling.

 

People wonder what is wrong with our youth today? We are getting farther and farther away from family time, family values, etc. . . . But IMO breaks from school should be a time for families to reconnect, for the kids to unwind and relax, and have some unstructured down time. I think our competitive natures are getting the best of us and becoming rather unhealthy. . . .

 

I agree that it does seem a bit much to expect to be scheduling a tournament during the holiday season. It is difficult to 'shoe horn' in family time what with all the committments everyone seems to have.

 

But since there is a tournament and since he is on the team, I agree with him that he needs to play. I commend your son for being able to make the decision and to honor his committment to his team, and commend you for allowing him to work through this himself and to honor the decision he made. The real problem here seems to be is the notion that some folks have that whatever is most important to them MUST be most important to everyone else as well.

[Cruisin' Chick]

It does seem strange that a kids' basketball tourney is scheduled for a time when there's such a limited time that families can go on vacation (if you have to forego vacations while school is in session). I can see with college teams, expecting students at that level to sacrifice seeing their families. But high school?

[Cruisin' Chick]

In California, the dreaded tests are always in May (usually the second week and for certain grades the third week, too).

[cathi007]

I totally agree with you, vacation time should mean vacation time. It's sad when school teams take away that time from familys. I am lucky my daughter plays sports all year, even in the summer, but the 11 days we are going on our cruise her school is off and there are no sports. My other daughter goes to a public school and will have to miss 7 school days. She doesn't play sports, so thats not a problem. She is a senior in all honor classes and is very committed. She will take work with her and work while away. I feel bad about pulling her out, but the other one goes to a prep school and they have different vacations. This will be our last "family vacation" as next year she will be away at college. I already have a son in the Navy, so I think I know how fast they grow. Enjoy your cruise and do what you want, before you know it you will be taking your grandchildren, my parents took my son out of school to go to Paris when he was a junior, he still did GREAT in school. Enjoy!