Comprhensive Noordam Review (Long, grab a cocktail.)

[Seago2]

Awesome review. I have a serious Lark phobia and I have been worrying about getting my ankles broken... hmmm....

 

Let me ask you this: all things considered, the review having been posted and read fully-

 

Was it boring?

 

I've never done a 10 day cruise before and I was a little concerned that I would want to kill myself by day eight. That was BEFORE "we" decided on HAL (I clicked on Expedia and booked the cruise in five minutes, having not discussed it with DH or even looked at the calendar). I just talked to an acquaintance who was on the Volendam last week (BTW for all who care- his was ten days and they had three formal nights and YES, Dutch night) and he said it was mighty SLOOOOW on board. And he's 65 if he's a day. So now I'm wondering if DH and I are going to have to pick fights with each other or act out parts of Shakespearean plays to keep ourselves interested.

[jtl513]

... and he said it was mighty SLOOOOW on board. And he's 65 if he's a day. So now I'm wondering if DH and I are going to have to pick fights with each other or act out parts of Shakespearean plays to keep ourselves interested.

 

I think it kinda depends on how wide his/your range of interests is. If he/you are not at all interested in, say, culinary demonstrations or classes, or high tea, or taking part in games around the pool, or whatever, then you could begin to climb the bored ladder.

 

On the other hand, many people are quite content to spend hours with a book in a deck chair, and are never bored! :)

[Seago2]

I think it kinda depends on how wide his/your range of interests is. If he/you are not at all interested in, say, culinary demonstrations or classes, or high tea, or taking part in games around the pool, or whatever, then you could begin to climb the bored ladder.

 

On the other hand, many people are quite content to spend hours with a book in a deck chair, and are never bored! :)

 

Truthfully--- we spend a lot of time speculating on the lives, habits, "backstory" of our fellow pax. When we were in Vegas in September, DH kept saying things like "I wonder if Vivian and what's his name would like this" or "Look, there's Vivian." Who's Vivian? Some real New Yawker we met in the Latitudes line on our cruise last April (she didn't like the wait). We kept seeing them throughout the cruise- she almost ecstatic to see us, he glum 24/7. My theory: last ditch effort to save the marriage- he cheated on her. We would speculate about them endlessly. It was a real heartbreaker (who knows what the reality was).

 

So- we never get bored on vacation. We just do psychological autopsies of everyone we see. DH is a cop, I am a lawyer, and I think we both feel that we are freelance jury consultants.

 

As long as there are people on board we will have things to do. I mean, besides the other stuff :) .

[Seago2]

I think it kinda depends on how wide his/your range of interests is. If he/you are not at all interested in, say, culinary demonstrations or classes, or high tea, or taking part in games around the pool, or whatever, then you could begin to climb the bored ladder.

 

On the other hand, many people are quite content to spend hours with a book in a deck chair, and are never bored! :)

 

Truthfully--- we spend a lot of time speculating on the lives, habits, "backstory" of our fellow pax. When we were in Vegas in September, DH kept saying things like "I wonder if Vivian and what's his name would like this" or "Look, there's Vivian." Who's Vivian? Some real New Yawker we met in the Latitudes line on our cruise last April (she didn't like the wait). We kept seeing them throughout the cruise- she almost ecstatic to see us, he glum 24/7. My theory: last ditch effort to save the marriage- he cheated on her. We would speculate about them endlessly. It was a real heartbreaker (who knows what the reality was).

 

So- we never get bored on vacation. We just do psychological autopsies of everyone we see. DH is a cop, I am a lawyer, and I think we both feel that we are freelance jury consultants.

 

As long as there are people on board we will have things to do. I mean, besides the other stuff :) .

[Seago2]

Sorry about the double post- I keep getting the White Screen of Death at this time every day! I thought it was gone???

[SnorkelBear]

Carlalena,

 

I was not bored for one second, but I don't think I have been bored since I was 15. People watching is at it's peak on the Noordam. You can spend a whole afternoon at the aft pool to see who occupies the two Neptune-like chairs. You will have a great time.

[hammybee]

Truthfully--- we spend a lot of time speculating on the lives, habits, "backstory" of our fellow pax.

As long as there are people on board we will have things to do. I mean, besides the other stuff :) .

 

Absolutely delicious. This is one of the best things about cruising in my book. We do not need facts. In fact, facts get in the way. Oh the names and lives we have attributed to fellow passengers........ and how as the days progress, we even look for our favorites in the crowd.

[Sunshine91]

Schnorkelbearguy - really enjoyed the rest of the review. Just one question. What's a lark?

[SnorkelBear]

A Lark is a mobilty assistance device.

 

[Seago2]

Absolutely delicious. This is one of the best things about cruising in my book. We do not need facts. In fact, facts get in the way. Oh the names and lives we have attributed to fellow passengers........ and how as the days progress, we even look for our favorites in the crowd.

 

Oh, that's it, totally. You can spot them at embarkation: one is happy, one is grumpy. How long until grumpy starts hanging out at the casino alone? How soon will happy lose it?

 

How about the in-laws? Grandma is dictating and controlling everything. Daughter in law starts to passively aggressively let the kids run wild. Usually breaks down the night after the second port stop (where Grandma has bought the Stingray City tickest six months in advance and it's 98 degrees out).

 

Total partiers: he's 55, she's 30 and looks 60. Bikini, extreme tan. He smokes a cigar 24/7. Cocktails at 11 am. They look like Lance Armstrong after the NYC Marathon by the fourth day. If you're lucky you will chance upon a screaming argument. I always tell DH "Oh, he's an ex cop for sure." Just my guess- maybe from the original Poseidon Adventure.

 

Born Again Christians journaling in the Purpose Filled Life Workbook or reading Christian Romances that look as sleazy as Harlequin's but likely aren't. This will usually be a single mom, possibly with several adolescent cheerleaders in a quad cabin or with her sister. It's possible to find an obviously evangelical family unit and my powers don't work with them. Impossible to analyze.

 

Newlyweds: awwwww :rolleyes: .

 

Couple with twin infants in giant 40 pound Graco stroller. Seen walking the ship 24/7. Makes me wish for a more traditional ship with decks that actually circle the ship so they don't have to face me 100 times as they try to navigate the atrium and halls.

 

Oh- this is good- the yuppie couple who somehow didn't realize that cruising is the bourgeoise holiday of all time. Seen wearing Patagonia fleece on deck, corduroy for formal night, reading the New Yorker on deck- not near the pool- too much for them to handle, munching 1/8th of a Power Bar waiting for a tender and putting it back in their back pack. Watch as they get more and more depressed with every entree. Hopefully you can be there as reality sets in- about an hour after embarkation. Watch them wince at Bingo announcements, see them stare at the show marquis like they're reading Greek- just pray you'll get them on shore for a real analysis (on your bus? Plus.).

 

I have to say that having eight kids- five are mine and I just married into three more- I take the most interest in watching the parents and kids. Ok, I'll admit it- "pleasure." DH is right with me on this. Parents staring off into space, like "kill me now, just kill me" as toddler swipes giant handfuls of food off of high chair onto deserted buffet floor for second straight hour. Chocolate milk, anyone? Kids crying on shore "Oh my God, honey, look- it's the people from our ship- what the &^%$ is that kid crying about now? Oh ha ha, look at Dad, he just walked away! Oh ha!"

 

I can't even write any more about the parents- you'll think I am nuts. The point is that it's NOT US for once. Any trip without kids is a GREAT TRIP. Not that I don't love cruising with my kids, because I do. But cruising with a spouse and kids? That's tough.

[shelly314]

Want to jump in here since we were also on the Noordam Nov. 4 cruise. Really enjoyed the cruise, wish I was back on the ship. Loralu (daughter) will start posting, I'm sure, when her computer gets "well" again. She arranged our "meet and mingle" (and "smoke" as Snokelbear says). It was so nice to meet the other cc members, many of whom we kept in contact with throughout the cruise. But, yes, no one from the ship showed up to greet us. Big mistake on the part of the Noordam crew, and after receiving many complaints they became aware of their lapse of judgement. They tried desparatly to make up for this by sending us a bottle of champange and trying to arrange another get-together. But, since we didn't have any last names or room numbers, it never occurred.

As Snoklebear has already said, the Indonesian staff cannot be beat. Your every wish is their command. The entertainment was fair, as was the food in the main dining room. Had chicken one night that was breaded in some kind of "paste". Had a medium-well steak on another night that was dripping blood. Lido food was a welcome alternative since there was such a variety to pick from. The highlight was our night at the pennicle. Just superb!

I actually started this post to state our biggest gripe.....no smoking in the casino. Seems our cruise was the first of three "experimental" cruises where smoking is banned in the casino. Find and dandy, but and a big but, let the cruisers know in advance so they can decide whether or not to book that particular cruise. Upon arrival and investigating the ship, we walked into the casino where ashtrays were plentiful when all of a sudden a crew member announced "no smoking" and ran around gathering up all the ashtrays. He even grabbed an ashtray out of a woman's hand who was smoking. This was the first anyone had heard of the implementation of this policy. Seems HAL had just decided to experiment on the Noordam with our trip. Nothing like forewarning the smoking passengers. The adjacent Sports Bar was the designated smoking area, so you can guess as to it's popularity. Met a lot of great people there, and saved a bunch of my gambling money in the process.

When Loralu gets her ailing computer fixed, she will post pictures of the trip.

[AcaCandy]

Carla, you MUST add more, that was great :D And here I thought we were THE ONLY ones who did that :eek:

 

What about the couples who dress alike? :D :D

 

You should try the Las Vegas casinos sometimes, optimal people watching there :D

[Joanandjoe]

Carla, HAL is constantly experimenting and changing the rules. When we signed up for our 11/25 Noordam cruise (6 days to go!) in August, 2005, "leisure dining" did not exist. If we had known that we would be forced to enter the dining room between 5:30 and 6 (too early for us) or between 8 and 9 (much, much too late for us), we might have booked another cruise line. By the time we heard about that awful concept, we had made our final deposit.

 

For us, the reduction in smoking areas is a big plus.

[Old As Dirt Mom]

Carla and Barry:

 

The two of you are pure genius. Are either of you writers by profession?

 

Carla, your powers of observation are uncanny. I tremble to think what you might perceive if you watched our family:eek:.

 

Karin

[SnorkelBear]

The flexible dining was not a problem for us. Before the flex dining we had a choice of 5:30, 6:00, 8:00 or 8:30. We picked 8:00 upper. We ended up with Late (8:00-9:00). We were at a table of nine and without discussion we all showed up up by 8:10 each night and had a great time.

 

Thanks M.A.M. It's very kind to be recognized for my genius. I would really like to thank my eighth grade English teacher, but she had nothing to do with it. That Hooked on Phonics really helped. Just kidding. I aint no genius and I just write what I think. Sometimes it's a curse.

[susietb]

We were on the November 4th Cruise on the Noordam and found the food in the dining room to be outstanding. Once again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder:)

[SnorkelBear]

We were on the November 4th Cruise on the Noordam and found the food in the dining room to be outstanding. Once again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder:)

 

I also thought the food was quite good. I think it mostly comes down to expectations. For cruises I try to keep my expectations somewhat low and then, if they exceed my expectations, I am happy. Also, it is impossible to please 1800 diners no matter what is served.

[michmike]

snorkelbear - you've missed your calling in life. You could do stand up.. Certainly more entertaining than some of the comedians I've heard on board. Love the book on the steak thing...

 

You'll have to come sail with us and our rubber chickens and screaming flying monkeys sometime.. I think if you joined forces w/ my buddy and me we could easily undo that old grumpy folks rap that HAL gets.

 

We could plot stategy amid the detritis on your tennis court sized verandah.. now that you know how to properly mix a martini.....

[SnorkelBear]

Thanks MichMike,

 

I read about you and your rubber chicken. Wasn't that a violation of your parole? I guess what happens in International waters, stays in International waters. I always like to see people enjoying their cruise and having some fun. If we do cruise together, will save me a couple of loungers next to the pool?:)

[hammybee]

snorkelbear - you've missed your calling in life. You could do stand up.. Certainly more entertaining than some of the comedians I've heard on board. Love the book on the steak thing...

 

You'll have to come sail with us and our rubber chickens and screaming flying monkeys sometime.. I think if you joined forces w/ my buddy and me we could easily undo that old grumpy folks rap that HAL gets.

 

We could plot stategy amid the detritis on your tennis court sized verandah.. now that you know how to properly mix a martini.....

 

Please include me in this wacked out sailing plan. I can do flying monkeys,too. Snorklebearski can handle the swimming kitties.

[michmike]

You're on.. we could call it the "twisted sense of humor" cruise.. we're off to a good start... now we need to recruit copper 10-8, tomc and ruth c and we'll have the nucleus.. surely others I'm forgetting.. feel free to add to the list (valerie.. jean...and on and on.. )

 

perhaps an april "fools" trip...

[AlohaPride]

Can I come!?

[AAAAmerican]

Reserve my stool with my favorite PolyWog and drinking a Dr Pepper..

 

here;::>a big LabeatO in the Lido..

 

 

 

 

:cool:

[SnorkelBear]

Hey triple A,

 

What is it that you was not trying so good to say?

 

We are going to have to have another look at those air emmissions in Northern Jersey.

[RuthC]

Can I come!?

Sure can as far as I'm concerned! :D Bring Keaka, too. :)